Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Little Mish Mash to Get Our Feet Wet

Our rusty but very tan fingers are going to start with a little mish mash to get the brain waves working and to catch up on some of the celebrity real estate activity that went on while Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter spent a few days baking our naughty bits on the beach.

1.
All the tabs, blogs and gossip glossies are starting to chatter about marital advice giving talk show titan Dr. Phil McGraw and his wifey of 31 years being headed for the court of dee-vorce. Uh oh. Your Mama doesn't know whether there is any truth to that rumor or not, but it might explain why they've quietly put their big ass Bev Hills mansion on the market.

Your Mama discussed the palatial property before we left on our vay-kay, but at the time were ignorant as to how much moolah the McGraws want for their exuberantly decorated 11,036 square foot Mediterranean manse on Lexington Road. While we were away, the always well informed and sharp tongued Kenny Kissentell whispered in Your Mama's big ear that the McGraws will entertain to offers in the $16-18,000,000 range, but that's still gossip and rumor at this point kids.

That number certainly makes sense when you consider that really rich real estate broker Kurt Rappaport recently forked over $15,990,000 for his new Bev Hills behemoth on nearby N. Crescent Drive.

2.
We hear from A Boy Named Sue that the wickedly and wonderfully strange (and well endowed) actor/artist/gadabout Vincent Gallo has finally found a mid century modern en-thu-zee-ast to cough up the kaching for his much ballyhooed John Lautner designed tour de force on Hedges Place. If the children put on their thinking caps they'll recall that Mister Gallo put the so-called "Wolff House" on the market in May of 2007 with a bold and brazen $5,995,000 asking price that had many of LA's architectural connoisseurs scoffing and gasping at what they thought was a rather exorbitant asking price. Mister Gallo later lowered the asking price to $5,795,000 which did little to quell the modernist masses but did get the house into contract.

At this point, we're not certain of the selling price although we were told it was in excess of $5,000,000. We'll see.

3.
While on the topic of louche and lovely Lautner designed digs, let's briefly discuss the one that LA based nightlife impresario Brent Bolthouse has recently put up for lease (pictured above). Located on curvy swervy Multiview Drive high in the hills of Hollywood, the 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house was built in 1947 and is generally referred to as the "Polin House." The spectacular and meticulously renovated work of architectural art sits up a long drive nearly unseen from the street, so it's the perfect retreat for a privacy seeking celeb with a $10,000 a month rent budget.

Your Mama thinks that if thrice rehabbed party princess Lindsay Lohan had any sense or money, she would lease this place and spend a considerable amount of time quietly sitting on the back terrace staring into the treetops contemplating what steps she ought to take in order to get her acting career back on track rather than make some silly and embarrassing effort at selling leggings. Leggings? Come on!

4.
Getting her $13,000 Balenciaga bag swiped while staying in at the swanky (and pooch friendly) SoHo Grand Hotel in New York City last year seems to have encouraged Kirsten Dunst to purchase more secure digs of her own. According to Hollyscoop and about a million other fan sites, the also recently rehabbed Miss Kiki spent around $3,000,000 for a three bedroom penthouse apartment over looking the mighty Hudson River. As of today, details are slim. We don't even know where the building behawtcha bought into is located, but we'll look into it when we've got the time and inclination.

5.
The newly crowned Hot Properties queen Ann Brenoff at the LA Times wrote her first mid-week scoop about the 25 acre ranch in Carpinteria that the governator Arnold Schwarzenegger recently purchased. For those of you not familiar with coast Calee-for-ny-ay, Carpinteria is located just east of swish and swanky Montecito–home to Oprah Winfrey's $40,000,000 paean to private wealth–and once upon a time a low key and blue collar beach town that drew a lot of visitors from the San Joaquin Valley. That is until the California real estate markets went berserk and drove the price of any piece of property even close the ocean into the stratosphere. So Carpinteria ain't so cheap or blue collar anymore.

Anyhoo, Mister Republican governor and his Democrat wifey Maria Shriver plunked down around $4,700,000 for their spread in a posh and rural enclave of 25 home sites carved from the historic Rancho Monte Alegre in the foothills of the Santa Ynez mountains.

As noted by Miz Brenoff, there are all sorts of rules and regs for the style and size of homes that can be constructed and it appears that the Schwarzenegger/Shrivers will be required to build something larger than 4,500 square feet, but smaller than 8,500. That is if they build at all. Could be they're just parking some cash as an investment. Your Mama guesses it won't be long before the politicos will be able to turn their 25 acres at a substantial profit.

6.
We hear from The Social Butterfly, our uptown amigo who flits among some of New York's richest and most cultured residents, that the Southampton real estate rumor mill is still churning over reports that professional golfer Tiger Woods forked over $65,000,000 for a prime piece property on Gin Lane.

Madam Butterfly says that in certain Southampton circles the sordid scuttlebutt is that the really rich Woods' (allegedly) spent so much money on the Gin Line spread because the Missus Woods is "ambitious," a real Rebecca Thatcher type, if the children will allow Your Mama that literary stereotype. Your Mama does not need to tell the children that in the rarefied and old school social world of Southampton, "ambitious" is not a compliment. No siree bob.

Your Mama knows not a thing about whether the Woods' did or did not buy the gigantic 5.9 ocean front spread and we know even less about whether Miss Woods is socially ambitious or not (we suspect not), but what we do know is that while Mister Woods' people say nay, Mister Braden Keil and the bigwigs at the NY Post are sticking to their story.

Stay tuned for more...

30 comments:

Bridget Jones said...

It's great to have you back!

StPaulSnowman said...

Welcome back Mama! In your absence this place degenerated into a war zone.....no fun for those of yochillin who thirst for plain old fancy real estate porn. Now we can focus for a while. Perhaps you could give us more notice about your time away so we can just schedule computer maintainance or our own vacations.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Mama!

Re: Polin House. It is a great house but probably not for the major celebrity. It is very small. The property is not gated (or wasn't last I was up there) and the long drive is shared with another Lautner - Jacobson House. Jacobson is a twin of Polin and was used as James Garner's character's house in the 1998 movie "Twilight".

Alessandra said...

So very happy you are home, Mama. You were wise to take a break and I wish you many more in good health, but oy...the tsuris!

I've never met Elin Woods, and she seems to keep out the public eye quite easily, so I am a bit suspicious of the comment in regards to her "ambitions". It strikes me as not just a viperous swipe, but as a way of putting her and her husband in their places. As in "you may be able to afford Gin Lane, but you'll never belong."

Or, she's a rampant and eager social climber and the remark is well-deserved, but my money is on the former.

Ms Frivolity said...

The flash of the paparazzi's bulbs was blinding as Mama's big new BMW pulled into the drive even though she was wearing her largest pair Tom Ford glasses."Can you tell us anything about your vacation Mama"shouted the uncouth voices of the gutter press.This was too much after a gin soaked first class flight from Miami,but Mama was going to put on her trying to make the best of all the fuss face and voice for them anyway."Is it true that a band of internet pirates led by somebody names average Joe has tried to take over your blog?"
"no no no I have everything under control,I believe that Aunt Mary and Mr Darling have delt with the unsavory situation and we shouldn't be expecting any more trouble from that faction."
"MAMA MAMA one more picture pleeeeeease"they shouted like a pack of hungry dogs.
"Gentlemen if you'll excuse me I will reveal everything in my posts,I must go inside."
With that Mama turned her well tanned face for one last snap.After all there was no such thing as bad publicity was there?

pch said...

Welcome back, Mama!

I've met Elin Woods, and found her utterly lovely and charming. It's entirely possible that she has serious social ambition -- I have only the single conversation to go on -- but she really didn't have that kind of vibe. And, anyway, why would she care? I agree -- surprise, surprise -- with Alessandra. I'd be more inclined to think the cattiness has to do with the perceived uppity-ness of a beautiful Swedish nanny snagging Tiger.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking in Hidden Hills - opinons please...

Polly said...

I'm looking in my handbag.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking at the bottom of my glass....Girl At The Bar? Where are you?

Girl at the bar said...

I'm going to take over average Joes old space behind the kim chee factory and do an Asian dive bar theme,something hot and spicy,but always strong!

Anonymous said...

I heard from a friend the other day that Dr. Phil has already moved out of the BH palace. I don't know if that means the whole family is out, or just him and his overblown ego.

LAPD Tipster said...

GATB, you need to let us in to do a sweep. There have been several bomb threats on the space but the mayor wouldn't send a bomb squad. He thought a little explosion and the demise of average joe might just get him elected as the next governor of California.

aunt mary said...

Welcome home Mama, almost everybody was good while you were gone. We missed you so much. We can't wait to see what you've brought us. Well, at least the ones who've been well behaved. ;)

And who says the economy is tanking? Just look at girl at the bar talking about starting a new business. By the way, it looks like we'll be seeing yours and The Dr. Cooter's photo in tomorrow's paper.

Linda Hoof said...

As a member of the Ladies auxiliary Realestalker voluntary security team I stand ready to serve and defend the site.

Bigdaddyj said...

Glad yer back mama...I might've gotten a li'l out of line, I admit, but only because those damn chicken littles drive me to it...thank God you're back so we can get back to discussing good ole real estate porn again...ah, I feel like Randy Marsh at the end of tonight's new South Park if anybody else saw it, LOL

Bigdaddyj said...

Gotta say kudos to Ann Brennof as well, looks like she's taking her new beat very seriously, two more mid-week posts!

Anonymous said...

HaHaHaHa. Mama you lazy bitch, when will you ever get your shit straight on the Woods story.

First you were lazy and didnt report on it, then you pretend that you didnt report the story because it wasnt true, now you are saying it may be true.

Come on Rainbow Rider you're back from vacation now its time to do some of that tough blogging. Now lets see somewhat of an effort.

Oh and thanx for the three pics Mama, they sure were worth the wait.

Alessandra said...

I'm sure Mama's Mama has baked some yummy snickerdoodles for us good children, so y'all can join me out back in the tree house. It's probably best that we vacate the kitchen if the bedazzled wooden spoon is being flung about, and trolls don't like cookies anyway.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:23 pm:

If you don't like Mamma's blog, DON'T READ IT.

Bicontinental
(Sorry, my password does not seem to work)

Parker said...

Mama, welcome back! Don't worry, we'll keep the bad neighbor kids out of your yard.

Viva! said...

MAMA! Thank the good lord your back, I've been stuck in an elevator with Joan Collins at Sierra Towers for days (we both missed Ivana Trump's wedding!) JC sends her champagne soaked regards.

I for one would be thrilled if Dr Phil and Robin got divorced. Perhaps then the American public could see what a ridiculous fraud 'Dr' Phil actually is! He's an overweight Republican slob who shills diet books and gives advice left and right. What a douche. I hope Robin is divorcing him, bleed those veins dry! It takes money honey!

Anonymous said...

Please don't feed the trolls.

Anonymous said...

When I pulled up Carpinteria on Google Maps, the first street I notice was...

Gobernador Canyon Road

Anonymous said...

Listen asshole(9.23) unless you can claim to have a blog as fantastic as Mama's you're the lazy BITCH!

Anonymous said...

9:23 cries of tourment and need for medication. Bless him/her for their vicious bent.

So easy to ignore, and lets!

Anonymous said...

I doubt Tiger Woods spent 65 million to buy a house in a state where he rarely spends time. His father would be turning in his grave if this is true.

Anonymous said...

Mama, what ever happened to the house that was supposedly bought by one of the Olsen twins in Hancock Park. No work has been done on the house since the story was published on Real Estalker. It looks like nobody is living there.

Neighbor

Anonymous said...

Vincent Gallo no longer owned the Lautner Wolff house. It was Michael LaFetra.

Anonymous said...

Vincent Gallo no longer owned the Lautner Wolff house. It was Michael LaFetra.

Christina said...

Welcome back, Mama! I've met Elin Woods, and found her utterly lovely and charming. It's entirely possible that she has serious social ambition -- I have only the single conversation to go on -- but she really didn't have that kind of vibe. And, anyway, why would she care? I agree -- surprise, surprise -- with Alessandra. I'd be more inclined to think the cattiness has to do with the perceived uppity-ness of a beautiful Swedish nanny snagging Tiger.