Thursday, March 8, 2012

It's Britney's House, Beotch

SELLER: the conservatorship for Britney Spears
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $2,995,000
SIZE: 7,453 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama's inbox practically overflows this morning with breathless and squinty-eyed queries about the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom Beverly Hills, CA mansion owned by recently engaged pop music superstar Britney Spears* that unexpectedly popped back up on the (open) market yesterday with an asking price of $2,995,000.

*Technically, the Bev Hills area house is owned by the court-appointed conservatorship that manages Miz Spears financial affairs. More on that in a minute.

Tabloid and celebrity gossip glossy readers will recall this is the very same (in)famous mansion where Miz Spears lived during her chaotic, troubling and terribly public meltdown in 2006-08. Remember those days, kittens, when just about every damn day there was some new, horrible thing in the press about Miz Spears shaving her head and/or clumsily exposing her lady parts? Those days, thankfully and hopefully, are long behind the mother of two, now risen like a phoenix from her mental and professional ashes.

No matter how you slice it, $2,995,000 is a lot of freaking money for a single family house but, in this case, according to Your Mama's bejeweled abacus, it's also a pocketbook punishing $3,755,000 less than the $6,750,000 property records show Miz Spears impulsively paid for the 7,453 square foot faux-Tuscan villa in January 2007. Miz Spears, at that time an erratic hot mess who gal palled around with party goers like Paris Hilton, quickly caught an extreme case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle and the property, which she reportedly purchased almost completely furnished, was back on the market within a month with a $7,495,000 asking price. Since then, the two-story, canyon view mansion has been on and off the market so many times at so many prices that we just can't be bothered to count and recall them all.

Although Miz Spears paid nearly seven million smackers for the well-maintained manse, a little calculating of comparable cribs shows the current price tag of nearly three million dollars stands well in line with the recent sales of equivalently sized and equipped mansions in The Summit, a 24-hour guard-gated community that spreads tentacle-like over the rugged ridges that divide Beverly Hills from Studio City.

The late Ed McMahon's 7,013 square foot mansion just sold for $3,475,000 and actress Holly Robinson Peete (Mike & Molly, Hangin' With Mr. Cooper) and her retired professional pigskinner husband Rodney Peete sold their 7,234 square foot mansion—as a short sale—in November (2011) for $3,015,000 after first listing it in early 2007 for $5,995,000.

Listing information shows Miz Spears former home is offered as a "Probate Sale. Subject to Court Confirmation." The most common kind of court confirmed probate sale is, as anybody who knows any thing about real estate surely knows, when the executor of the estate of a deceased person sells off a piece of real estate. Miz Spears, however and of course, is quite alive.

A little research on the interweb brought to our attention another, lesser known type of probate sale when real property is sold under a conservatorship, as is the situation of Miz Spears' former residence in The Summit. In 2008, when Miz Spears was still in the ugly thick of her troubles, the entirety of her personal and business affairs were placed by court order under a conservatorship headed up by her father and an attorney.

The sometimes long and difficult conservatorship sale process is much better explained on the website of Miz Spears' real estate agent than Your Mama could or would ever care to do justice. If you yearn for the details we suggest you head on over there.

As it turns out, in addition to Brit-brit's unwanted white elephant in Beverly Hills, there are at least three other luxury residences in the Los Angeles area once owned or occupied by Miz Spears and currently for sale on the open market.

In her pre-melt down days Miz Spears was married to one of her former backup dancers, a showbiz buffoon named Kevin Federline who at one time fancied himself a bit of a (white) rapper. Nowadays he makes a living appearing on weight loss reality programs. For most of Kevin and Brit's not-quite-three-year marriage the young couple hunkered down and made babies in a gated compound tucked into the very back of the sylvan and swanky guard-gated Serra Retreat in Malibu, CA.

The ill-fated pair's Malibu love shack sat smack between a mansion owned by Olivia Newton John (since sold) and two mansions both owned by three-time Oscar-winning filmmaker James Cameron. Some of their other notable nearby neighbors included mouthy and volatile actor Mel Gibson, octogenarian entertainer Dick Van Dyke, and sit-com star Kesley Grammer and his now ex-wife Camille of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Miz Spears and her ex-mister sold the nearly 10,000 square foot spread for ten million clams shortly after they were divorced in the summer of 2007. The buyer was horror film writer/producer/director Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing and The Mummy franchise) who gave the entire property a complete overhaul and currently has the 6 bedroom and 7.5 bathroom compound back on the market with a $13,500,000 price tag.

Newly single Miz Spears moved from her Serra Retreat retreat to a couple of rented residences before she rather rashly snatched up the mansion in The Summit.

Sometime in late 2008 or early 2009 Miz Spears (and etc.) vacated her faux-Tuscan residence in The Summit—the scene of so much drama and difficulty for the celeb—and decamped for a 6 bedroom and 7 bathroom leased mansion dubbed Chateau Suenos in The Oaks, a upscale, double-gated development in proto-suburban Calabasas (CA). The 9,211 square foot (mc)mansion (rear shown above) is now back on the market with an asking price of $5,999,000. We've heard but can not confirm the suburban mini-estate was twice toured by 18-year old bubblegum pop music phenom Justin Beiber.

From the big house in Calabasas, Miz Spears moved on to an even bigger mansion on 3-plus acres estate in the guard-gated Hidden Hills community. The multi-winged mansion (rear shown above) encompasses nearly 20,000 square feet, includes a massive entertaining pavilion with hotel lobby-sized ballroom, and contains a total of 10 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms. Outside the, expansive, high maintenance and fully-landscaped estate offers a private pond, sunken tennis court, and dark-bottomed lagoon style swimming pool with Playboy Mansion-esque spa grotto.

The property, owned by L.A.-based construction magnate (and current resident of Beverly Park) Ron Tutor, was once on the market with an asking price of $18,900,000 but now has a significantly lower $9,995,000 price tag.

Hidden Hills, celebrity property watchers well know, is riddled with mansions owned by entertainment and music industry bigwigs who include (but are far from limited to) include Jennifer Lopez, Melissa Etheridge and Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne who have their house in H.H. listed for $12,999,000.

Miz Spears (and family) currently occupy a rented mansion in an upscale, guard-gated golf community in Thousand Oaks, CA. The house (rear shown above), which all sources say she leased, was last listed for sale with an asking price of $8,900,000, measures 10,567 square feet according to listing information we teased up out of the interweb, and includes 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms and hilltop views of the manicured greens and fairways of the surrounding Sherwood Country Club.

listing photos (Beverly Hills): Prudential California / Beverly Hills
listing photo (Calabasas): Ewing and Associates / Sotheby's International Real Estate 
listing photo (Hidden Hills): Partners Trust / Brentwood
listing photo (Malibu): Re/Max / Olson & Associates


Anonymous said...

hey momma,
check this out- the rock buys in florida. for a guy with alot of dough, i am unimpressed with his new digs.

lil' gay boy said...

First I ran out of rusty razor blades and now the old barbed wire is running low, too...

I expect to see a lot of comments about Ms. Spears to follow this remembrace of things past, but God knows she's not the only celebutard to have an embarrassing past to live down; I cannot for the life of me understand the particular fascination with her every sneeze, burp and fart, talented or not.

Perhaps I'll just have another madeleine to forget.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Wow, she really has a taste for McMansions, doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

How has this house not sold? It is a great price and a bargain especially now. If I lived in LA I would buy this home.

Anonymous said...

A whopping loss of $$$. Oh well, she can make it back with one tour.

Anonymous said...

Why has the Summit been hit so hard? Values are very low compared to Mulholland Estates now... and at one point they were on par with each other? Why????

Anonymous said...

Oh the Princess Britney Spears and her Castles of a Plenty!

Ms. Spears Homes are all a slight hot mess. This Summit House has Major potential and the best of em all.

Her Current House is the most McMansion Ghetto of them all but has amazing views as she dances her butt off in her daisy dukes while sipping her Boxed White/Pink Zin Wine out of Baccarrat water goblet.

Anonymous said...

Is this the house with the secret snow white sex dungeon?

Don Juan's Wreckless Daughter said...

@Anonymous 1:14 PM - hysterical! Perfect imagery..

@The World In General - See what happens when you drag a hundred dollar bill on a fishing line through a trailer park??

Anonymous said...

With all the "rear views", Mama must still have Kim Kardahian on her mind. And what's this with Justin Beiber touring all these former internet sex tape video stars' homes? Is he really looking for a house or just wanting to sniff where the big girls farted?

Anonymous said...

Mama, the Holly R. Peete house sold in March 2009 for $4 million, so I think the short sale was for the owner who bought from her and her hot husband! So, I don't think the Peete's have a short sale on their record.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know which area of LA Gene Simmons and Shannon Joker Tweed reside? Is it the Canyon area near Beverly Hills?

Damn her sidepiece gig paid off minus the awful cosmetic surgery. Don't know why she obviously went to a cheap doc.

Anonymous said...

hmm, i dont understand how can she be declared insane and go around tour and earn milions? and dont get me started. i mean if she is not by senses she cant work. if she can then she cannot to be in conservatorship. i mean comeon guys if she wants to live like that she should.

dont wonder when one day she will run from usa to some other country (maybe during concert in europe) where she wont be handled like a mad person.

i mean its not like just recently you had here an article about the 104 grannie being fleeced by her layer and tax accountant ...

Don Juan's Wreckless Daughter said...

@Anonymous 3:31 PM - If you've ever bared witness to any of her interviews, you would clearly see that she... well.. lacks in the sophistication/worldliness department.

I would be willing to bet my 401k that she never takes up a primary residence in any country outside of the US.

Anonymous said...

What I love about the Hidden Hills House is that it is literally DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET from J.Lo's hotel-mansion hybrid.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering the same thing. Why is the Summit have such pricing issues? The Ed McMahon house had some issues and I thought I read there was another home there that had issues. Is there a concern there about problems either because of location or construction? Brit's house seems ridiculously cheap.