Monday, March 3, 2008

Will Garrison Keillor Move To Lake Wobegon?

SELLER: Garrison Keillor
LOCATION: Portland Avenue, St. Paul, MN
PRICE: $1,650,000
SIZE: 5,168 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 3 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Architectural masterpiece by Emmanuel Masqueray (designed St. Paul Cathedral). A perfect example of French elegance & sophistication, grand foyer w/ exquisite staircase, lofty 14 ft. ceilings, exceptional windows, cooks kitchen, 3 floors of wonderful living space.

UPDATE (LATER SAME DAY): Interior photos finally appeared with the listing, so we've included them for all the children to cheer on or chew up. We stand by our original assessment of the interiors which is that overall we like this house quite a bit, even if we could never live in Minneapolis because of the weather (Your Mama hates the cold). We are, however, having some trouble with that colorful family room on the second floor which is looking a hot mess. And we like colorful rooms usually.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to the The St. Paul Snowman, Your Mama is pleased to bring the children our first ever discussion about a property located in the frozen state of Minnesota. We happen to have visited the Twin Cities on several occasions because there's a cute and quirky family of five living near lovely Lake Nokomis in Minneapolis that are very near and dear Your Mama's cold and snarky heart. We love the outdoorsy lifestyle, we love the soo-blime Walker Art Center, natch, and we l.o.v.e. the Minnesota State Fair where every year all the finalists in the Princess Kay of the Milky Way pageant get likenesses of their heads carved from butter. Yes, children, butter.

But lawhd have mercy children, it is too damn dreadfully cold up there in the winter, and it's been even colder across the Mississippi River on Portland Avenue in St. Paul where radio talk show icon Garrison Keillor has put his big house on the market just weeks after settling an unneighborly, public, and stoopid lawsuit with his next door neighbor over a proposed garage addition.

Now children, we know some of you probably think of Mister Keillor as a soothing grandfatherly voice on Sunday afternoons as he prattles on about Lake Wobegon on his Prairie Home Companion program, but Your Mama finds him to be an outdated auditory annoyance who pines for a fictionalized and idealized time and place in American history that hasn't existed in 50 years if it ever existed at all. Maybe we just don't get the irony, which is a very distinct possibility, but we happen to like the modern world, thank you very much.

Anyhoo, property records show that in September of 1998, shortly after Mister Keillor, his third wifey, the violinist Jenny Lind Nilsson, and their young daughter relocated to Minnesota from New York City, the couple forked over $710,000 for their rather grand red brick house on Portland Avenue in the fancy-pants and historic Ramsey Hill neighborhood of St. Paul

Tax information for the property indicates the house measures 5,168 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, while listing information for the dignified and solid looking mansion shows (approx.) 5,960 square feet with 7 bedrooms, 2 full, 1 three-quarter and 2 half bathrooms. In case y'all don't know, a three-quarter bath usually refers to a bath with a sink, terlit and shower (no tub).

Although no interior photos of the Keillor/Nilsson house have been included with the online listing for the property, Your Mama happened across a few images that were included in a 2006 article in the New York Times which shows a grumpy looking Mister Keillor standing in the 29-foot long "grand foyer" with its "exquisite staircase." Before finding the NY Times article, Your Mama imagined the staircase to be an elaborately carved confection with a giant pineapple perched atop the newel post that would make even the most die-hard modernist misty eyed. The actual staircase, although not exactly what we expected, will definitely do in the jaw dropper department and would make an amazing setting for our pal Falsetta Knockers to make one of her nearly nekkid and notoriously naughty grand entrances.

The main floor, with its soaring 14 foot ceilings, features an inviting, book filled and wonderfully intellectual looking living room with tall and blessedly curtain free windows, a wood burning fireplace, a custom rug, and dee-lishus dentil molding. The pretty but slightly too grandma-ish dining room measures in at a banquet sized 20' x 22' which works well for entertaining all the good Luthrans from Lake Wobegon, and in the "cooks kitchen" we are completely unable to move beyond that industrial sized and potentially lethal pot rack looming over the room like a tiger ready to pounce on an unsuspecting dish washer. How do these Keillor/Nilsson people feel safe with all that copper and cast iron hanging up above their damn brains? Your Mama would need to strap on a football helmet just to dart into that room to snatch up a lime for a pitcher of gin and tonics.

Up the elegant and curving stairs to the second floor, five bedrooms, including a master bedroom that stretches an impressive 30' feet long, share a couple of bathrooms. A commodious 16' x 30' family room completes the private family floor and two large rooms on the third floor tuck nicely under the eaves of the slate roof.

The big house sits on a relatively small .2 acre lot with a detached 2 car garage at the rear of the property and an itty bitty back yard that only old people could love because it's really far too small for a swing set and a sandbox.

Your Mama hasn't a clue whether Mister Keillor will be moving his little family to another posh residence in St. Paul or if perhaps they'll all be headed back to New York City where Mister Keillor and Miz Nilsson own and maintain a 2-bedroom residence on the 12th floor of the legendary El Dorado on Central Park West. Interestingly Mister Keillor bought this apartment in 1987 for $800,000, sold it in 1993 for around $1,500,000 and property records show the that in June of 2006 the quirky radio yakker bought the very same 12th floor co-operative apartment for $3,600,000. Apparently he always regretted selling the park view place and the opportunity to wipe away that regret cost the much wealthier that we imagined radio host two million clams.


Anonymous said...

A few years ago this house was featured in Traditional Home. It's gorgeous inside......

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize Garrison was such a sphincter. I'm sure the neighbors are glad to see him go.

so_chic_darling said...

The New York Times is so weird sometimes.In the photo they say he is wearing "Saturday jeans" what the fuck is that?.No they're not they are what I call old man jeans,wrong color blue and high waisted.Funny how all these rich old men never seem to have purchased a pair of jeans since the 1980s.

so_chic_darling said...

Lovely house though but I wouldn't want to live at the North Pole.

Anonymous said...

I loathe nostalgia.

Alessandra said...

A .2 acre lot? Yikes.

I do like the stately simplicity of the exterior. It fits the surroundings.

As for Mr. Keillor, my parents used to be huge fans of him back in the day and would listen to him devotedly each week. Suffice it to say that I've had enough of Lake Woebegon to last me for the rest of my life.

Anonymous said...

My own backyard,
It's not THAT cold...

Anonymous said...

Interior photos @
Just type in 427 Portland under Quick Search

Anonymous said...

Prairie Home Companion is not relevant. It might also be pitchy.

Anonymous said...

They stick with their 1980s jeans because they just don't understand paying over $100 for a good pair of jeans is what you have to do today so they keep wearing them.

Anonymous said...

Nice house, but as So_Chic said, who the hell wants to live at the North Pole?

Looks like it'll be "Woe Be Gone" for the apparently long-suffering neighbors of this irrelevant, curmudgeonly dinosaur.

Too bad he only lost $2M moving his sagging, frozen ass back to NYC, where he'll be within spitting distance . . .

Anonymous said...

Love those MN winters! I think you def have to be born in MN to be able to live there during the winter... takes talent lets say.

Then again, it WAS my home for 26 years.. nothing like it. As for the house, great location, corner lot.. would be fun to redo the interior tho!

Anonymous said...

you'd have to PAY ME $2M to live in MN. and even then i'm not sure i'd do it.

Anonymous said...

before all you eastern seaboard style nazis gets-yer-panties-up-in-a-bunch, the "saturday jeans" business is really about wearing a pair that are strictly for loafing. they need to be beat up and not new or expensive.

check out Gordon Lightfoot's lovely and kinda mysterious ballad from the 70s, called Saturday Clothes. there's even a version of it on the you tube.

and yep, quirky and very cute that shiverin' in their timbers family be.

Anonymous said...

clothes and style is not about cost or newness. it's about cut. for instance, high-rise, tight, faded, straight-leg jeans from the 80's and early 90's (think young Jerry Seinfeld) have no place in today's civilized world.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful house and a big fan of "Prairie Home Companion" here. Those of us who love the ever-crowding West Coast are thrilled that lots of folks are willing to live east of Colorado. In fact, we encourage it. Everyone should seriously think about moving East. Seriously. The western states are considering subsidizing moving costs to anyone relocating permanently to the East. We love it when New Yorkers keep saying New York is the "only" place to live. It makes us very happy. :-)

Anonymous said...

We in Chicago think of Minnesota as the frozen artic wasteland, and it's not exactly warm here.

Beautiful home, regardless of its location.

Anonymous said...

I bet this place has a huge upstairs hall and possibly a seperate stairway to the kitchen. It has to be beautiful inside.

Anonymous said...

one of the most intriguing things about Prairie Home Companion, which I don't listen to all that much, is the thread of dysphoria that runs through the bits.

very much like Peanuts in that way.

robert altman was on record as thinking it was very much concerned with death. and funnily enough, that was Robert Altman's last film.

it's not ironic per-se, but it uses irony.

Garrison would have a fine time with Anonymous 5:03 coming off like an imperious Diana Vreeland manquee. to quote charlie brown, good grief.

gotta give him props for the red running shoes and red socks. that's a nervy bit of signature style.

Anonymous said...

Lil gay boy,

I have to say I'm sort of surprised that you would say such bitchy things about Keillor.

Spitting distance? Are you planning to spit on him?

As for the neighbors, all due respect, but read the article...they weren't long suffering at fact they themselves said they had good relations with Keillor until this event, which transpired and was over in a matter of weeks, maybe two months.

Since you and your pals are always on here trying to get everyone to not say mean things about each other (and to you), maybe you shouldn't be going around saying catty things about other people either.

It speaks volumes about your true character. I'm sorry, but it does.

Anonymous said...

"Your Mama finds him to be an outdated auditory annoyance who pines for a fictionalized and idealized time and place in American history that hasn't existed in 50 years if it ever existed at all."

Mama, I nominate you for a Pulitzer based upon that sentence alone.

5,168 sq ft for 1.65M? Makes me feel pretty good about the $2M I just paid for a 3,000 sq ft, 3 bedroom house. I love LA!

Anonymous said...

those jeans are so far stuck up his tight white ass it hurts - that's why he has that cringed look on his face.

Anonymous said...

I like it!
I must say the piano looks perfectly placed.I could play Memories I believe that song would suit Mr Keillor well.

I'm with Mama on the pot rack (so funny you are Mama) and the dining room I also wonder how would you use such a small kitchen island.

The antique beds look magnificent!

And as a teen I used to sit and listen to Mr Keillor with my Mom. Bringing back some good memories for me Mama.

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:37,

"Spitting distance" is NYC-speak for being close enough to speak your mind . . .

Besides, believe it or not, spitting is illegal in New York. We're not ALL vulgarians in NYC.

Popeye, I couldn't add a single word to what you said if I tried. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

Why are these pics so digitally unreal? I don't get it. Is this a photoshop treatment?

Anonymous said...


If these pictures were scanned from a magazine, which I suspect is the case, they would have had to have been PhotoShop'ed within an inch of their lives (run through several filters, etc,) and then possibly run through PhotoShop Effects as well; otherwise the 4 color ink process would have made it look like a bad Lichtenstein . . . when I look at them in PhotoShop, I can see where some pixels have been altered.

If you take a REALLY close look at a color photo in a magazine, you'll see the four different inks (C, M Y, K) used as tiny dots in the image.

Anonymous said...

I normally avoid the word gracious, but it seems the best way to describe the stair hall, dining room and living room. I especially like the slight arch to all the transoms.

A question for those from very cold places: Is there a practical reason someone would hang on to all those radiators in the dining room? Or would the decision not to update the heating system be based on a pragmatic if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it rationale?

Anonymous said...


In most houses in colder climes it seems, even with modern heating systems, a mix of nostalgia and symmetry; they add a certain character to a room (as well as warmth), and to replace one or two with more modern European wall units would spoil the room's balance.

Anonymous said...

I know Mama's feeling about pot racks in kitchens...but I am truly enamoured of that space. Man the things one could accomplish in that space. And the cabinetry...just wonderful.

Sandy_Claws said...

This house is nice but very modest compared to the next block over which is Summit ave. I lived in so. Cal. for 32 years (born and raised) earning a decent salary but barely surviving. It's beautiful here with the change of the seasons, low crime rate, no smog, good schools and good jobs. It's very cold for 1 month out of the year and not quite the north pole. I miss the beach but my kids are safe, so keep laughing and we'll just go sleding!

Anonymous said...

Just imagine, childruns, if this were a pre-war co-op on CPW instead of an isolated Minnesota manse;

With that stairway, the multiplicity of glass doors, and ideal proportions of the rooms (height, width, length), what a legendary find this would be in NYC.

Once again, location, location, location.

BTW, PCH, I'd kill for those radiators, the butler's pantry, and that mirror over the fireplace, not to mention the half flight of stairs off the main stair hall (possibly to an 8 foot tall basement?), and the modified sleigh bed.


Sandy_Claws said...

It's hardly isolated. It's a major metropolitan area just blocks from high-end shops and restaurants. Location is everything. In L.A. or N.Y. this place would go for 10 times more. So even more important than location is a bargain and quality of life.

Anonymous said...

frozen hell.

Anonymous said...

I can't help it. LGB is just a pompous ass who likes to be the authority on everything and I find it annoying. You all jump down nutty PP's throat while I take LGB to task. Again. I can't help it. If you like his all knowing ways, skip over this.

1. "spitting distance" is not New York talk for close enough to speak your mind. Were you recommending someone sit Keillor down and give him a stern lecture about decorating? No, I think you were opining that it would be fun to spit on him because he's curmudgeonly. At least own up to your own words.

2. Please don't speak for New Yorkers anymore. It pains me as a someone who actually lives in NYC. You live in Long Island and commute to NYC to work. That makes you a commuter, not a New Yorker. I don't care if you used to live in grew up on LI and you live on LI now. That makes you a Long Islander. Nothing wrong with that, and doesn't mean you're not entitled to your opinions, but you opinions are of a person who lives on Long Island. And please don't speak for all Long Islanders either. They probably will appreciate that less than me.

3. Minneapolis/St. Paul is hardly "isolated." That's just mean and not correct to say. It may be freezing cold in the winter, but it's a very cosmopolitan city that supports the arts like crazy. Have you been to the Walker? I'm sure you have. So you should know then that Minn. is very progressive.

P.S. what's with using the royal "we" lately? You adopting Mama's language again? I'm sure he loves that.

Anonymous said...

when you say things like this you bring the blog down.

agree to disagree

Anonymous said...

And I agree with 4:52. LGB writes with "authority" on things he knows little about. Has he even been to St. Paul?

Earlier he spoke of all easterners not liking Malibu. LGB, please speak for yourself and try to avoid your tendency to speak for others.

While I'm at it, why has PP been so undeservedly attacked? I have appreciated his insights.

luke220 said...

The second floor family room looks like a former screened porch- reminds me of the one in my childhood home.

A friend's childhood home is over on Summit Ave.- now the Minnesota governor's residence.

Alessandra said...

The kitchen, while pretty, is unusable. There is a lack of work space and where is the fridge? I won't make a MN joke and say anything about nature being the freezer, but I will say that the configuration of the kitchen would drive me made after just one omelet.

The rooms are lovely and have great bones, but I dislike the coffin, ummm...leather bench, in the foyer.

I'm glad that we're seeing homes in other parts of the country. Many cities have interesting architecture and celebrities have homes every where. I would not be happy in MN after ten years in Los Angeles (the PETA people would protest me wearing fur in May because I was FREEZING), but the Twin Cities are supposed to be quite nice.

Or, I could just drink more to keep warm...

Anonymous said...

PCH - They could put in central heat/AC and have inconspicuous duct work in the floors. It's rare, especially in a home of this caliber, to see these archaic heating systems.

That being said, the old rads do add character, and Keillor is certainly... a character.

I want to walk up and down those stairs all day.

It's interesting to note the "metro-centric" vein threading throughout this dialogue. I have marveled at you LA folk living in homes on stilts on top of the San Andreas, spending countless hours on freeways and dodging fires, landslides, etc... On the other hand, MN as frozen hell, the middle of nowhere, basically a frozen back water. The perceptions of life beyond our respective city limits surprises me. I'm not judging, I'm guilty of it, too. It's interesting.

Hell, most people in the States would rather be from Akron than Toronto.

Anonymous said...


[This post may be painfully boring to anyone else. Sorry.]

You wondered why hang on to old radiators, or would it be a decision not to update the heating system?

This house has a boiler system; hot water flowing thru pipes and "radiating" through these ornate pieces, or through baseboards. It's supposed to be the most even heat you can get. But I've thrown thousands at keeping one operating. Hate them, or mine at least. I solved it by selling that house.

The most popular alternative is a forced air furnace, and that's the big issue. If the house doesn't have existing ductwork, it's costly and problematic to install.

In the case of Keillor's house, there's also architectural consideration, how to conceal ducts without compromising visual integrity of the interiors.

Once in a while Arch. Digest, etc. will mention retrofit as part of a remodel. It's tough to pull off correctly.

No ducts is also why we see room AC units hanging out of windows in grand old buildings. Central air needs ducts too.

Gosh, TMI, or what!?

Anonymous said...

Spitting distance is spitting distance! Hock-tuey.

Maybe not on Fifth Ave., but at 35th and 8th it sure is.

Anonymous said...


thats a great bit of evocative language right there.

sounds like the name of a dirty fighter from America in on of them Hong Kong flicks.

Anonymous said...

I love Minneapolis, too. Won't belabor by reiterating the good things already mentioned. Go if you get the chance. Won't be sorry. It's not Chicago or New York, but has a very cool personality all its own. That's my take anyway.

Anonymous said...

Grazie mille for all the radiator info.

Bentley, you're right about metro-centric viewpoints. I lived in a great little Mississippi town called Natchez for a few years, and when I was in Los Angeles or New York or Europe (which was often) I got very accustomed to the reaction, "You moved to Mississippi -- on purpose?!" It got old in a hurry, and nearly always came from people who hadn't actually been there. Taught me to keep an open mind.

Anonymous said...

PCH - Until the film festival in Toronto became a destination, I loooved telling New Yorkers that I was born in and continue to spend half my life in Toronto. The glazed expressions, the utter lack of comprehension, as though I'd ceased speaking English entirely. Good for a laugh.

My wife, a born and bred Manhattanite, actually prefers Toronto (gasp!)

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:52,

Thanks for the in depth psychoanalysis.

1) The dictionary describes "spitting distance" as "very close to something or someone." The example cited was "The great thing about the house is that it's within spitting distance of the sea." My colleagues use it quite often in journalism, and yes, they ARE New Yorkers. I've no wish to even meet Mr. Keillor, because as Mama so eloquently put it, "Your Mama finds him to be an outdated auditory annoyance who pines for a fictionalized and idealized time and place in American history that hasn't existed in 50 years if it ever existed at all."

2) BGD and I maintain 2 homes; one in NYC, one on LI. The reasons for doing so are frankly none of your business, but I reside in NYC as much as on LI.

3) I never said Minneapolis/St. Paul was isolated (and yes, I have been there, and it's one of the nicest urban areas I've visited.) I was referring to the house itself, on a corner lot.

As for your "P.S." - I started using what you refer to as the "royal we" (rather snottily) the day the Towers came down and I lost family. Some of us still think of ourselves as that "we", others have forgotten that time and retreated back into their metro-centric lives.

I am fully aware that I express myself in a way that is always going to annoy someone; chalk it up to a Catholic education, frequent travel, or even a wry sense of humor. You simply can't please all of the people all of the time; that would be boring.

Finally, if you feel so strongly about these subjects, then why not at least have the courage to post under a name, instead of hiding behind an "anonymous?"

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'm born and raised in WI and MN. I currently live in NorthEast Minneapolis. I don't think that this corner house is isolated. I know that neighborhood and everything is pretty busy. It's very walkable. (How many places in LA can claim that?)

As for radiators, I have them in my appartment and have grown to like them. Not only do they have a certain old-timey charm to them, but they are also much better for your health, as they don't simply re-circulate germs, like forced air does. That is a big part of why European houses don't get retrofitted and why people are starting to turn to radiant heating.

Minneapolis Man said...

I just signed up for an account. The anon 11:24 was me.

I should also note as far as alessandra's comment that the fridge is next to the oven. It's painted the same color as the cabinets.

Alessandra said...

Thanks for the catch of the fridge. I'm usually better at spotting the Sub-Zeros and other cabinet style refrigerators. That makes the kitchen marginally better, but still, there is a woeful lack of usable counter space.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to burst some of your bubbles, but this house is not on the corner.

Anonymous said...

Read on over this LGB lovers.


In case you forgot, here's what you wrote:

"Too bad he only lost $2M moving his sagging, frozen ass back to NYC, where he'll be within spitting distance..."

Despite now offering us the dictionary definition of "spitting distance," do you really think any one here is stupid enough to think you meant spitting distance to Keillor meant close enough for you to have a friendly chat? You were maligning the man by indicating he deserved to be spit on. Not surprising from the guy who has often suggested torching properties in an effort to be witty and funny.

You want people to be nice to you, and each other and have one big happy family of nice people but you don't feel the need to be anything but a catty queen when it suits you. (And that comes from a gay man)

There's nothing "isolated" about Keillor's house, which by the way, is not on a corner. And since when are corner lots "isolated" anyway?

As for the "we" thing, to bring up 9/11 is both irrelevant and a pathetic ploy to garner sympathy. I and my loved ones were also brutally affected by 9/11 as were so many in the New York area. So what? It's got nothing to do with commenting here using the royal "we," but I do give you credit for coming up with a creative response.

I know my rants bother a lot of you, but I promise they don't bother you half as much as I'm bothered by LGB self appointed role as the "authority" on everything whose been everywhere to know something about every place.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:50

Thanks for the catch. My bad; since the house sits on only a .2 acre parcel, it looked like a corner house and that's why I said isolated - the house next door must be just barely out of frame.

And I agree with Alessandra; charming as the kitchen may be, the layout does not leave you a lot of usable counterspace, even if there are two long stretches of it (one with the sink, the other opposite the SubZero). They're just awkwardly placed.

And I'm with Minneapolis Man, I love my big ol' radiators.

Anonymous said...

I fart on you with pleasure.

Garrison Keillor is an old man living in an old house. Too bad he's not as good looking at his house, which is a real beauty.

I stay inside all winter in my antique peignoir sitting next to the large radiators reading Voltaire from the excellent book shelves.

It could happen. I love you!

Anonymous said...

Falsetta here. Now Mama, I know how you feel about me sassing back, but I must break my silence.

I'd probably make my near nekkid entrance from that big old ottomang bench slapped in the middle of the grand foy-yay. [Clearly that thing is meant to conceal a drag queen. What else could possibly possess one to deposit such an anvil in the middle of that big ole carpet?].

Erupting from my steamy confines unannounced, about 45 minutes into a St Paul Society Keillor soiree, I seem myself, accompanied by the two cornfed MN chorusboys in the bench with me, doing my little thang crawling UP the grand case, not walking down. Haven't we seen that sort of Miss Scarlett/Von Trapp entrance 1000 times too many?

Love you Mama

Anonymous said...

Ah Falsetta you are my dream girl.Could I wear my high waisted mid blue slightly baggy jeans and do a number with you on the stairs?

Anonymous said...

Oh, now this is more like it! Miss Falsetta you correctly timed your entry into this conversation. We are in desperate need of some lighthearted entertainment. May I be so bold as to make a performance suggestion? Descend the staircase a la Scarlett, then do a costume adjustment and ascend the stairs in assless pants! It would be just the thing for a Sunday afternoon soiree in Woebegone. Of course translating it to radio would be tricky. Oh, and pleased to make your acquaintance. We've heard so many nice things about you from Mama.

Anonymous said...

Aunt Mary just became verrry creepy. Thanks but no thanks for that piece of warped information.

Anonymous said...

Aunt Mary,

I think it's a grand idea! Anyway to work some lederhosen into the routine?

You know how I just love lederhosen . . .

so_chic_darling said...

Hello Aunt Mary,never creepy but always amusing.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I thought all the little ones would be in bed by now. I'm sorry to have offended delicate sensibilities. ;)

Hello so_chic and lgb,
I have been busy with family affairs that have limited my internet time, but I try to keep up with you chatty cathies as much as I can. One post had over 100 comments!!

Mama, you just get better every day. Garrison Keilor gets on my nerve too, but I like the little part of his show in which he reads poetry.

And this is a lovely house. It says, "By god, we will live graciously in Minnesota,even if it takes wall to wall radiators."

Alessandra said...

"And this is a lovely house. It says, "By god, we will live graciously in Minnesota,even if it takes wall to wall radiators."

And that? Says it all.

My delicate sensibilities could use some offending!

Anonymous said...

uh oh.

lock the liquor cabinets and be prepared to steam clean the rugs and mattresses.

falsetta's in town.

so_chic_darling said...

i'd love to see Falsetta's show,I like a good old fashioned cabaret.

Anonymous said...


I think "assless pants" puts it on a slightly different level than "cabaret."

Anonymous said...

I'm all for assless pants on a "lady" named Falsetta Knockers!

That is def. my kind of cabaret.

(Hey Aunt Mary, don't listen to any of these uptight weenies. You're tops in my book...classy with a dirty mouth is hot.)

Anonymous said...

Barren Karen,

You definitely have GOT a point; just can't see taking Mom out for a night of "cabaret" without her smelling salts!

Other than that, it's front row with Falsetta Knockers for me!

Anonymous said...

the last time i saw Falsetta in assless pants she was at the car wash at 10th and Harrison before heading over to Walgreens.

Anonymous said...

You all are painfully wimpy when it comes to cold weather. MN is not the Arctic; it might possibly be tundra but Arctic? No. We here in MN are proud of our cold weather. It keeps the riff raff out!

As for GK's house ... it's lovely inside. I was there a few years back. Very homey for a big house, and that kitchen totally rocks. The new house is only a few blocks away.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone remember the bit Garrison Keillor did about his ball sack? It was amazingly dirty and disturbing coming from him. It's fun to see his house and where he washes his ball sack. He's a good story teller, but his most defining moment is when he talked about being a pre-pubescent boy washing and maintaining his genetalia. What a great talent Keillor is. Glad he got his NYC apartment back, he paid $2million more just to get that small bathroom sink back with the special faucet and tap handles where he could easily and comfortably soak and wash his ball sack.

Anonymous said...

Love the house, tiny yard and all. This blog ,however, is a snore. Uninformed and snarky people hiding behind screen names and criticizing celebrities. Wow, leading rich & fulfilling lives,huh? I enjoy Mr. Keillor's writings and catch the show often. Ever read "Home Grown Democrat"? Good stuff. His tales of Lake Wobegone are a small part of his work, and have nothing to do with time period. They're actually timely tales of life in a small town. Having lived in metropolitan areas as well as small towns, he scores a direct hit when paints the quirky characters that are accepted in small town living. I also enjoy his column in The New Yorker. I don't know him, and I don't know if I'd like him if I did know him. Neither do you. Talented man, beautiful home - now move on and get a life of your own.

Anonymous said...

You winterphobes plan on camping outdoors during the cold months? Have at it.

As for the vast majority of northern residents, we mostly live indoors, heated to 70 to 72 degrees, thus the fear of frostbite, hypothermia and intense discomfort are rarely a concern. But if it fits into your trendy pop-culture ethic of bashing northern climates, please DO enjoy your wildfires, lack of water, hurricanes and earthquakes.

We find that a goosedown coat and pair of wool socks is far easier than having to deal with rebuilding houses and lives in order to have the giddy thrill of magnolia blossoms in February.