Saturday, March 1, 2008

Weekend Update

All the children who hang around Your Mama's little online endeavor know we've spent way too much time discussing the real estate doings of Rockstar Energy Drink founder Russ Weiner, who currently has three high-priced homes on the market. But we can't help ourselves and we're going to discuss him yet again. A few days ago we saw him shave millions off the asking prices of his two most expensive properties, and this week we saw the third property get a serious asking price haircut too.
Located up on Franklin Avenue in the Hollywood Hills, the four floor flesh colored house now carries an asking price of $2,995,000 and the listing SCREAMS that the current asking price reflects an over all $2,000,000 price reduction since the hillside house first hit the market a very looong time ago.

Your Mama is sure all you Chicken Little's out there are peeing in your pants with happy because you think this proves your point about the real estate sky falling. And maybe it is. However, in our ever so humble opinion, this house was over-priced from the get go, so the gigantic price reduction just brings the price down to where it should have started to begin with. Your Mama thinks we just might see this Weiner dude finally sell one of the big white elephants in his real estate stable.

The 4,400 (approx.) square foot house sports 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a pool on the roof,. But its saving grace just may be the elevator, because Your Mama would need to be strapped into an oxygen mask in order to be hoofing and hiking up and down all those damn stairs.

Yesterday, gossip juggernaut TMZ reported that on the mental mend Britney Spears was served with legal papers demanding she immediately fork over more than two weeks of unpaid rent (and a $2,100 late fee) on the Malee-boo mansion she leased back in October of 2007. Either that or she needed to "surrender and deliver up possession of said Premises," which is legal-speak for scram, skee-daddle and give the keys back to the landlord.
Mercedes luvvin' Miss Thing leases the Ramirez Canyon Road estate for a reported and rumored $35,000 per month. Unfurnished. Back in early October, when the pop star turned tabloid train wreck was acting like she had a few screws loose, the Malibu Minx whispered in our big ear that Miss Spears signed a 9 month lease with the option to buy. That would indicate she's got at least a few more months to be writing big checks, and Your Mama highly doubts her conservator daddy Jamie will allow her to purchase the 8,500 (approx.) square foot house no matter how much she kicks, screams and whines.

Your Mama has no idea if the single mommy of two was behind in her rent or not, but we have heard through the gossip grapevine that the house is almost entirely without furniture or other such items and that she rarely goes there anymore and stays there overnight even less, which if true makes it a giant waste of money.

TMZ's sources told them that Miss Spears is now current on the rent. Phew! We can all breathe a little easier knowing she'll not be evicted from a house she does not live in.

Photo: Pacific Coast News

All these rumors and reports coming out about Ukrainian bizness woman and noted philanthropist Olena Franchuk spending a blistering and record busting £80,000,000 on a detached house in the super swanky Kensington section of South-West London has become an angry bee in Your Mama's bonnet. Many of the children who have emailed and commented seem to think the reported sale and exorbitant price is nothing more than a fabrication designed to garner publicity for either Miz Franchuk or for Spink Property, the well known and high end developer who has recently executed a major renovation of the five story house on Upper Phillimore Gardens.

Thanks to the entirely legal machinations of an informant we'll call Little Dutch Boy, Your Mama received before and after floor plans (below) for the posh property that were filed with the planning commission of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. As many of those that follow high priced London real estate seem to know, much of the heavy duty engineering for the humongous underground extension with it's indoor swimming pool and interior link from the main house to the mews cottage, car park and garage was indeed undertaken by a previous owner.

However, plans reveal that Spink Property planned to completely gut and reconfigure the underground extension including filling in the old swimming pool, installing another entirely new one, and completely relocating the exterior courtyard, which smartly acts as a light well to the lower level
So kids, if we know that if these Spink people, who do undeniably refined and contemporary work, went through the considerable trouble of such a massive re-configuration of the lower level, then we have to assume they've gone to the same exhaustive and expensive lengths to transform the rest of the house and property with an equally rigorous, sophisticated and pricey architectural program. Your Mama really does not know if Spink's total overhaul justifies an £80,000,000 sale price, but it does show that the house has been totally updated with all the latest gizmos, gadgets and security systems which will appeal to international people with a never ending supply of money to buy up properties at record breaking prices.

Given that Miz Franchuk's huzband Viktor Pinchuk is a billionaire and a major (MAJOR!) contemporary art collector, it does, however, make a certain amount of sense that the modern minded 40-something year old couple might purchase a giant house done over by Spink Property who are well known for fitting old school London properties with all new, extremely expensive and very modern interiors.

None the less, at this point and time, Your Mama has no ability to confirm whether this Franchuk chick really did buy this house for £80,000,000 or any other sum of money. We are, unfortunately, at the information mercy of all the London-based property gossips. That is unless Miss Elton John wants to pick up her Swarovski crystal encrusted princess phone and ring Your Mama with the inside beef about his friend's alleged purchase. We're waiting...

And lets not forget this little tidbit about The White Lady.


Anonymous said...

you forgot to mention about the white lady "MJ" late on his encino mortgage, that was in the news yesterday......

Anonymous said...

Re:spears.... I learned along time ago not to rent to celebs or bratty rich kids.. they trash, they don't pay and then they leave. oh, and in the begining they always are shocked by the 2mths sec and last months... WHAT.. 3MTHS??? but i never would back down, thank god, now i never rent to any of them, the worst was a crossdressing crack addict. oh, and he was straight, rich kid.. 10,000 per mth and he paid up front, but it still was not worth it

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, a good rule of thumb I use is that if it is a star I get a year up front for the deposit, it is a lot easier to pay for damages and give them back the difference than to sue them for back rent, damages ect.

Anonymous said...

Celebs are all mother f*****s they want everything for a discount or free,and because they are mostly not from good families they have no idea how to treat nice things.

Anonymous said...

Thats the joke in this town, contractors, landlords know that its better to deal with wealthy bus people rather than celebs, because they will always fall back on their pampered style, and think they can pull their star power to satisfy debt rather than paying, from restaurants to most other biz in los angeles, many of us have learned the hard way... they don't pay because they don't think they have to ...

Anonymous said...

Celebs 90% of the time = no class,no manners and no knowledge of quality and how to treat beautiful things with respect.Just look at what that Spears creature did to the couture dresses.It doesn't even matter if she can write a check for them.What it shows is lack of respect for things that someone spent hundreds of hours of hand work creating,this is what I'm getting at.Trash makes more trash.

Anonymous said...

The White Lady:
Less said the better . . .
it's from now on. Or you could try

Miz Franchuk:
Both plans look like just what they are; underground warrens. The only nice thing about the proposed plan is it seems to restore what might have been the originally gracious center hall entry.

Miz "Thing":
Stop renting where you ain't living and just get a room somewhere close to wherever you collapse at night.

Russ Weiner:
Repaint that white elephant white and keep dropping the price until it sells.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't disagree with you more Lil Gay Boy.

1. There was no "restoration" of a "gracious center hall." The main entrance to the home is in the floor above this one, and it is to the side. The entrance was never centered, so there is not "restoration" of that manner to be done.

2. The revised plan is simply not a "warren" of rooms.

At the front of the house are the dining room and another reception room, sometimes called an "evening" room. A room to retire after dinner for a digestif etc.

Behind those rooms is the rather grand stair hall to the first floor where the bulk of the public rooms are located.

At the top of the plan you see a couple of staff rooms, a boiler plant and a service entrance.

At the bottom are the kitchen, butler's pantry and a back stair tower.

The exterior courtyard is indicated where you see the hatch marks.

Surrounding the courtyard are the family's private quarters, two family rooms, a gym, and a large lap pool. The cluster of rooms at the rear are bathrooms and steam showers etc. for the gym and pool as well as storage and (I think) a wine cave.

There were also plans for the family room directly behind the stair hall to be fitted with a "family" kitchen, which would leave the other larger kitchen for staff prepared meals and catered events (note the handy side door for bringing food and supplies in).

Perhaps you don't realize that both family rooms and the lap pool have huge floor to ceiling walls of glass facing the good sized courtyard which brings in a lot of light and stretches visual space.

Beyond the gym area is the tunnel and stair that connects the house to the garage.

This is actually a very, very good plan. It may be quite large, sprawling even, but by no means is it a "warren."

Anonymous said...


We'll just have to agree to disagree for now, in the absence of more detailed info. Without detailed plans labeling the uses of each space, the only thing that struck my eye was that the front entry opened into a hall, not the corner of a large room.

Am well aware of the uses for mens' and ladies' parlors, receiving and reception rooms, card rooms, front and back parlors and the various other accoutrement that accompanied the original floor plan of this house.

What the plans failed to show are the innovative features you've mentioned. Have you got another set you can share with us "unwashed colonials"?

Anonymous said...

You're outclassed on this one, LGB.

Just give it up.

Anonymous said...

I've got half a pitcher left.

Anonymous said...

Is something going on here? all three houses for sale, why not rent them and ride out the market, this is hardly the time to sell "dog properties" and honestly these are all dogs.. some realtor made big commissions. i know the one who sold him the sunste plaza pad, but comeon he paid 5million. but why the old prince pad...... first off, he needs to start listing with quality companies.. why on earth would he list multimillion dollar properties with a sleeze bag, scum bag , low rate, k-mart company,,, sorry, but don't get me started, this place is like the folsom prison of r.e companies..........egads

Anonymous said...

and tonight he was on millionare match maker.......... what on earth is he thinking, does that show pay its contestants, thats the only thing that makes sense. maybe his cheeseball realtor talked him into it

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:28,

Aren't you being a tiny bit politically incorrect?

Anonymous said...

i'm in the market for a hung heeb, so if anyone knows one, send him my way!!

serious, dude, throwing around the hbeeb word as you do here ain't doesn't seem cool at all.

it's one thing to use it ironically, like the good folks at Heeb magazine do, but throwing it around as an insult is just plain racist.

Anonymous said...

Girl at the bar,

Mix up a fresh pitcher and pull up a bar stool. This is getting interesting.

Anonymous said...

It's Sunday morning so how about a pitcher of bloody marys?
Oh and please racial derogatory words have no place here.I prefer a little HERB!

Anonymous said...

property pimp,

You are so ignorant.

Anonymous said...

anon 11:29 - From now on, he is known as "pp"...since we all know he is a d*ck.

Anonymous said...

Would Mr. PP D*ck ,,, be acceptable? thanks