Thursday, November 20, 2008

Justin Timberlake Drops a Wad on a Manhattan Pied a Terre


BUYER: Justin Timberlake
LOCATION: Washington Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $4,774,000
SIZE: 3,000 square feet (approx.), 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sunsets on the river every night at this 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom loft home offering gracious entertaining space in the extravagantly over sized living areas as well as four exposures, 14 floor to ceiling arched windows, fabulous river views and completed with a brand new lighting package and built in Sonos sound system featuring inclusive Lutron technology controlling temperature, lights, sounds, shades and more....

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're going to jump on celebrity real estate gossip Braden Keil's bandwagon this morning to discuss the New York City pied a terre he reported in his most recent Gimme Shelter column that former baby faced boy bander turned international sex symbol pop star Justin Timberlake picked up at the Pearline Soap Factory building for $4,774,000.

In addition to being a rich, ridiculously successful and talented–if kinda cheesy–singer and performer, Mister Timberlake must also be a swell negotiator because listing information shows this fifth floor condominium carried an asking priced at $5,250,000 with taxes and maintenance coming in at $2,972 per month. That means Mister Sexyback managed to get the developer/seller to take half a million clams less than was desired, which is probably a direct reflection of how the Wall Street financial fiasco is affecting high end Manhattan real estate.

Listing information also reveals that the Washington Street loft has keyed elevator access directly into the unit, measures in at approximately 3,000 square feet and features a living room space as large as a damn roller rink ringed by floor to ceiling arched windows looking west over the mighty Hudson River and towards the not particularly glorious New Jersey skyline.

All three of the bedrooms face east including the window wrapped master bedroom which the floor plan shows has only two closets. We just can't imagine two closets will be nearly enough space to fit all Mister Timberlake's sneakers and his bee stung lipped gurly-babe Jessica Biel's questionable collection of premier outfits. Perhaps the living in sin couple plan on turning the middle bedroom into a large dressing room and closet? We'd certainly recommend such an alteration because no one wants to see these two love birds cat fighting over closet space. Also, we would suggest that Mister Timberlake get a nice gay decorator to frost the lower windows in the master bathroom lest nosy neighbors across Laight Street be popping pictures of the pair as they're doing their dirty bizness.

Listing information indicates the cooking center, open to the living and dining room space, has been fitted and kitted with all the latest, greatest and most expensive appliances includes a Wolf cook top and grill, a Wolf double wall oven, a gigantic 48" SubZero refrigerator/freezer, a wine cooler and a Miele dishwasher. Somehow it still looks, well, cheap.

Now children, before you get all persnickety about the colossal failure in day-core, keep in mind that no one lives in this apartment. The unit was staged by the building's developer to entice a buyer. And entice a buyer it did.

Back on the west coast, Your Mama has heard all sorts of whispered rumors that Justin and his ladee friend Jessica have been hunting around for new Los Angeles residence they can share. However we've also heard from a little birdie that Miss Biel is shacking up in Justin's very private 12,545 square foot house on Torreyson Place–which he bought from ack-tress Helen Hunt–where he's been spending major moolah renovating a few of the nine poopers. So who knows?

As for Miss Biel's real estate doings, records show she's got a 1,676 square foot condo on California Street in Santa Monica, as far as we know she still owns her house on S. Anita Avenue in Brentwood which records show she bought in December of 2204. There have been reports that since Miss Biel has moved in with her man she's been letting her family use the house. Who knows?

29 comments:

Mama's Kiwi Kid said...

So many NY apartments seem higgledy piggledy, but I like the simple floor plan of this one.

Agreed - make the middle bedroom into a walk-in closet.

Mama's Kiwi Kid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This building considering it's brand new has been really well done on the outside - Fits in with the neighborhood really well ... As for the interiors - Not so nice & I'm surprised that given the amount of full-service condos in Tribeca that he chose one without any services ... Given his profile I thought he would require at least a doorman ... The maintenance is really high considering the building has zero services ... The price chop is probably because they've not been selling - The 4th floor & 6th floor units also been chopped.

Anyways, he seems like a complete d*ck as does his girlfriend so lets hope they'll not be NYC bound.

Jesse B. said...

Uh...what I would let JT do to me.

Too bad he's not homo. Or is he?

Anonymous said...

My Mama has a crystal ball...and it tells her that Biel is going to live for another 196 years and what house she will buy in 2204.

J/K Mama, you know I love you.

Anonymous said...

This is going to be his Fag pad!

Anonymous said...

This apartment was originally listed in the mid six mil range. The kid got a deal.

Babe Parish said...

three things about justin timberlake:

1. his Weekend Update skit last Saturday was the best thing he's ever done.

2. Jessica Biel has a bodacious booty

3. that is the gayest apartment ever.

Anonymous said...

anon 4:47..wishful thinking on your part! Justin is all man and doesn't suck cock.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone tell me what people see in this guy? He's like a bad copy of a bad copy of something. I mean, he's this skinny little white guy who tries to act all cool and tough but doesn't really make it.

BIG9INCH4U said...

Anon 6:15

no one said he does that. many a straight boy have been more than willing toreceive the deed, though...

LOL j/k and all that intraweb lingo.

Anonymous said...

so the new conversation spot is the master bath? ms. biel on the shitter & justin in the tub? vice/versa doesn't sound pretty either.

maybe brad & angie could pull it off...

Jesse B. said...

Anon 6:15:

He doesn't have to do any work... I should have said "what I would do to him."

Tragically, I used to date the brother of a famous singer whose star has faded (a local band that made it big). That singer was/is best friends with JC Chavez from N'SYNC. They grew up together, went to school together and blew up around the same time.

Inside rumor years ago (I haven't talked to my ex since 2000 or '01) was that JC was gay but that was it. It was before Lance even came out of the closet to his band mates.

So, unless Justin is doing things on the down low, no matter what he does that makes you pause and wonder if he has some tendencies, he is actually probably straight. It's been so long that I may even be wrong about JC being gay. I remember hearing ONE of them was gay but that it was NOT Lance (at the time) and I remember thinking it shocking that Lance wasn't the gay one.

BIG9INCH4U:

A six pack and a few compliments is all it takes, right? At least for the military boys... Based on my own dating record, I am convinced that the Navy is 93.4% gay. The Army and Marines have their fair share, too. Air Force? Not so much.

Oh, we're here to talk about real estate? I like the apartment, I guess. Is it really NYC proper though without services? I don't see why they need three bedrooms. I was going to say that I think they'd go for an apartment more fit for entertaining, but the living room in this place is huge. I am surprised there is no private outdoor space. I like the windows -- I've always been a fan of lofts.

Jesse B. said...

Oh and I do like how bright it is. It's sometimes hard to get good light in the more low slung buildings. For as bright as it is, one would think it were on the 48th floor.

Anonymous said...

The only thing in Justin's ass is his taste. This place is awful. Exposed brickwork is OK if it has some character but here it looks like brick wallpaper. They may have been generous on the floor space but they have skimped on the ceiling height and the windows while nicely shaped looked cheap - I don't think he got a bargain at all.

Flora said...

I hate the goldfish bowl effect of the windows, but I suppose there is a fine line between being exposed to all and sundry and having sufficient sunlight in your expensive high-rise appartment. I guess its okay for the young and hard-bodied, but with age comes the wisdom to cover up and be modestly screened from view. It comes to us all, Mr T, even you. Enjoy it while you can.

dolly said...

The listing info does note that the Lutron technology package controls the shades, but none are visible in the pics so maybe they magically appear from behind the arches at the top of the windows. If not, his neighbors are going to be in for a rare treat, assuming they can get over the atrocious color of those bricks.

Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled that the price drop is a direct reflection of wall street. Could have just been a seller who wanted to sell now. New York has the lowest percentage of foreclosures in the country. Look at the amount of foreclosures in Los Angeles(City) compared to all of New York City, let alone how low they are in New York county.

Anonymous said...

It was a DEVELOPER. The building isn't selling well and despite what most real estate agents will tell you publicly there are A LOT fewer buyers in the 3-7M range. Developers are getting very nervous. If you don't think the Wall Street debacle is going to have an affect on high end real estate then you're living with your head in a cloud.

You can't have a nearly 50% drop in the stock market, thousands of wall streeters losing their high paying jobs, thousands more being affected in the fallout, the economy tanking and NOT have a dip in real estate.

Anonymous said...

The bedrooms in this place are unsatisfactory. Probably a place he'll be in less than six weeks a year, though. The living room is nice and big, but the view looks uninteresting.

pudenda shenanigans said...

meh-heh-mm-heh.. you said "wad."

Ed Padidymis said...

Pudendarling are those Bevis and Butthead noises?

lil' gay boy said...

Never understood his appeal, but then I like men, not little boys.

*snicker* ––– Pudenda said Mama said "wad" ––– *snicker*



(I refuse to type Bevis & Butthead noises)

Anonymous said...

She bought here house on S Anita in December of 2204? Are you psycic mama?

Anonymous said...

I want to see what the inside of his Torreyson estate is like. I'm sure he'll drop it on the market for like $20mm if he decides to move, ridiculous.

I don't even think it has a pool.

Anonymous said...

i am diggin this place

love the kitchen / dinining / living room space

id cover up some if not all the brick with some cool venetian plaster raw concrete look

was surprised when some real estate gossips were saying him and miss biel were interested in a $2.8m place in chelsea, just didn't see them spending that little, this place is more fitting

Anonymous said...

Is this place connected to the Riverlofts?

Anonymous said...

No, it's most certainly not.

Anonymous said...

Apparently the actual purchase price of the unit was $4.689 million.

The difference is for the "personal property" that was transfered with the unit. I'm guessing they bought the staging furniture.