Sunday, July 20, 2008

Nick Carter's Crib in Parkland, Florida

SELLER: Nick Carter
LOCATION: Long Leaf Drive, Parkland, FL
PRICE: $1,500,000
SIZE: 4,699 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Were it not for the lovely and charming Candy Catsoutofthebag, Your Mama would never have known that Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has put his house in Parkland, Florida on the market with an asking price of $1,500,000. For better or worse, this uber suburban section of the Sunshine State–west of Boca Raton and northwest of Fort Lauderdale–is simply off our real estate radar just as Nick Carter is, for the most part, off our celebrity sonar. Above and beyond the Backstreet Boys thing, about the only information about 30 year old Mister Carter that Your Mama can pull out of the depths of our gin soaked and heat addled mind is that he once dated Paris Hilton (Who hasn't?) and back in 2006 he appeared with his siblings on a rather embarrassing and tawdry reality program called House of Carters that ran, thankfully, for only one 8 episode season.

The 4,699 square foot house on Long Leaf Drive was newly built when property records show that Mister Carter bought the house in June of 2006 for $1,323,435 from the developer. The 5 bedroom and 5 bathroom tile roofed tract house sits cheek to jowl with all the other nearly identical houses in a gated golf community called the Parkland Golf and Country Club where residents can stash the brats at the Kids's Center while they swing clubs on the Greg Norman designed 18 hole golf course and chow down at the The Caribbean Grill. The community also offers, tennis courts, a resort style swimming pool, a spa for massages and mani-pedis, a fitness center, botanical gardens, a banquet hall, golf club and an event lawn.

Listen children, Your Mama never imagined this former teen sensation would possess a World of Interiors worthy interior day-core. But we never imagined it would be a hot mess either. Unfortunately we simply don't have the inner-reserves and fortitude to discuss every decorating crime at Mister Carter's crib so we're going to stick to the top five.

1. The curiously located exterior stairs at the front of the house. Is this an apartment building or a single family home? Not only does Your Mama worry that boozy pals will have trouble finding the front door, it also looks like a big neon invitation to intruders, "Can't get in down there? Try up here!"

2. The video game in the corner of the living room. Oh lawhd have mercy on our snarky soul. That thing has Your Mama dee-pressed and reaching for a tall gin and tonic to wash down the deep psychic pain that hunk of plastic causes our delicate sensibilities. Your Mama begs the children and Mister Carter too to stop for just one moment and think about what sort of message is transmitted by a 30 year old man who has a giant video machine in the damn living room.

Not pretty, is it?

3. The fake greenery atop the kitchen cabinets. Baby, no. Never. Really. Your Mama's decorating rule # 827: No phony foliage allowed. Anywhere and ever.

4. Do not even get Your Mama started on that half-assed Medieval mess masquerading as a damn dining room. Pleeze. That is without a doubt one of the worst looking rooms Your Mama has ever seen. Not only is the chandelier hung way to high it looks like someone has defecated on the walls, which is, of course, never a good look for a dining room. Fortunately paint can easily be changed by the next owner.

5. The bamboo theme in the bedroom. Nick-doll, we don't know who is giving you advice on all the crazy paint treatments, but gurl you gotta get rid of that person because people of style and taste do not punish their walls like that anymore.

Because we always like to say something nice about every property we discuss, we'll pretend that we like the amoeba shaped swimming pool that looks as if it can be seen from several of the neighboring yards and houses which is an excellent bonus feature for exhibitionist buyers.

Property records reveal that Mister Carter own quite a bit of property in Florida. However, it's just too damn hot right now for Your Mama to bother cataloging his real estate portfolio and we need to head out for a nood dip in a cool pool.

46 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

This more like a radioactive mess. I would like to point out another decorating no no, the curvy metal CD tower. First of all CDs are obsolete technology, everyone should have all of their music on a computer or ipod at this point, and even when they were something to use they should never be displayed ever.

lil' gay boy said...

Fecesville.

StPaulSnowman said...

Well...............the clouds and sky are nice.

dolly said...

I totally agree - I never dreamed, in all my thirty years on this planet, that I would ever come across paint effects as vile as the shit smeared dining room and the bamboo bedroom. The bamboo itself is bad enough but to pair it with the cloudy pastel wall and the black and white comforter just boggles my mind.

It looks like the room with the arcade game may be a family room attached to the kitchen. The chairs in the foreground seem to be the same ones at the kitchen island. If that is the case it is possible, though not at all probable, that he has another much more tasteful living room elsewhere in the house.

Also, on the aerial view map, a lot of the homes have two driveways, one leading to a big garage and one on the other side of the front yard leading to a single garage. What's the deal with that?

Anonymous said...

As a long ago resident of Ft. Lauderdale, I can assure you that this land was reclaimed from the Everglades. This means that it's about an inch above the water table and the first decent hurricane to come through will leave water you would not want to see.

Alessandra said...

I think I like the tub in the master bath.

Or maybe that's the one thing in the house that isn't ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HIDEOUS.

Wasn't there a gay Backstreet Boy? And if so, couldn't he help a bandmate out?

sandpiper said...

Mama, I can't make sense of this one at all. It hurts my eyes and brain. I'm being honest. It's just too ... too disgusting for words.

Thanks, honey, for putting in the time on this hot mess. It's boarderline unworthy of you snarkisms, especially when you're feeling hot and clammy to begin with. Mix a budket of G&Ts, find some shade, and a good magazine. <3

Madam Pince said...

Dear God in heaven. It pains me to look at this hot mess, because some of the Voodoo Chile's allowance money funded this Chernobyl.

so_chic_darling said...

Dolly dear I too am an optimist at heart but although it's nice to imagine a tastefully appointed living room floating on a cloud of good design somewhere in this shit hole, alas I feel your search will be fruitless. It was probably too scary for the agent to photograph.

sandman said...

i know this tard from the show mama mentioned & the fact that this mess doesn't have wheels is a big surprise. so all things considered, nick is keeping it classy.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, no gay Backstreet Boys--that was nsync. And Nick bought in this house when he was a teenager-which explains the gameroom atmosphere of several of the rooms and over all lack of taste in general. And just for accuracy sake, Nick is 27.......

Anonymous said...

anon 5:56, That was my first thought but Mama's story says he bought it two years ago (2006). A teen makes more sense. I'm also wondering if this isn't a house that he owns but one of his siblings lived in? I only saw two episodes of that "reality show" but I could easily see any of the rest of his family in this house.

The only saving grace of that show was it was filmed at the John Lautner's Schwimmer Residence in Beverly Hills.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Mama should do a top ten list of tacky properties.

I'd bet many would be in Florida.

I think he's going to own this home for a long long long long...well...maybe forever if he doesn't get a damn renovation done post haste.

In fact, I wouldn't want to own that house at any price.

Anonymous said...

people sound surprised by the atrocity - keep in mind who we're talking about here!

Anonymous said...

M, my aol has not let me in for hours. Hate that. bs b.

Anonymous said...

wow, you have to be an idiot to think he bought this house when he was a teenager. if the house was built by the developer in 2006 how is that possible? do you read? are you retarded? grow a fucking brain, asshole.

kisses!
-svetlana

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Joey Fatone's wife decorated this one too, right after she finished Lance Bass's hottmess in Beverly HIlls.

Anonymous said...

Svetlana..or should I use your other name?

That was just uncalled for. Go away.

Anonymous said...

I bet the house was painted that way whenever he moved in and I HIGHLY doubt that the room shown is his. Some of you people need to stop being such fucking assholes.

Viva! said...

White trash with money. Absolutely hideous.

Kenny said...

The decor in the house is ok, but kind of tacky.

feel free to visit my blog at: http://www.homesoftherich.blogspot.com

i have a contest going on.

Anonymous said...

When does Ashton Kutcher jump out of the closet to reveal how he punked Carter posing as a gay decorator?

The whole interior is pretty pedestrian, I guess 1.3+ doesn't buy much in Florida. The best part of the house is its proximity to the golf course.

steve Jenkins said...

Well this house is certainly not on a 'back street'

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's in the Top Ten Worst Decorated Homes I've seen on this blog and that's saying a lot!!!!

lil' gay boy said...

For those who wanted to know, the smaller garage in these "golf communities" is usually used for golf carts; that's right, golf carts. Some of them even have doors at both ends so you can drive right through, because we all know how difficult it can be to back one of those suckers up…

Oh, and Kenny, you've been politely warned before - buy an ad from Mama or go peddle your papers elsewhere.

Sam the Man said...

I wouldn't visit Kenny's site if you paid me. How rude to try to steal readers from Mama.

Flattery is the sincerest form of something or other, but it's also just plain embarrassing.

I predict Kenny will be out of blog business in a few months for lack of readers.

Anonymous said...

The neauvo riche always want them a turret. Step up from the double wide to this double wide with a turret. Rupunzel wants to rent the guesthouse! The jetson’s game room opens to the turned legs of the kitchen island. Overmount black sink. Nick, quit smearing dirty diapers on the dining room walls, it looks like shit! Hopefully the everglades will reclaim this.

Parker said...

I've decided that some of those who comment here now (the rude ones and those trying to advertise for free) would fit in perfectly in this home.

And LBG, I'm still laughing about the golf carts and the drive-through garage.

Parker said...

And Mama, given your disdain for pot racks, I'd love to know which you consider the greater offense: pot racks or video games in the living room?!

Anonymous said...

Not that any of you haters care, but Nick is 28. He's had the house for about 10 years and I'm sure some of the decor is that old. He's young and he's single. Interior decorating is not at the top of his to-do list. Get over it.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:35,

http://southflorida.blockshopper.com/property/474133032130/6930_long_leaf_drive/

Says he bought it on June 23, 2006. Not being a hater, just don't like people calling my Mama a liar.

Anonymous said...

A 2003 press release referring to the community being in the "land development stage". So unless Nick was sitting in the swamp before the developers came along, he hasn't owned it for 10 years.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0OQD/is_11_06/ai_111620577

Anonymous said...

To everyone. Nick is a busy person and always on the go so he doesn't have time for the details and designs in his home. He just want to put everything that he needs within his reach. As you can see the designs in his house is a variety of imaginations and themes. Though he is 26 when he bought the house, a person can still be a child at heart. Besides that, he's a guy so it's natural for a him to do whatever he wants to do in his home without considering about the interior and decorations.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:39 -

Let it go.
We get it.
You're a fan.

Whatever.

Anonymous said...

accuracy sake..... NICK is 28


He has assistants n managers to do stuff for him, hmm.. maybe like...Decorate? He barely got to spend anytime at that home anyway...

Wat makes you people so freakin special that you can just insult someone you don't even know? Like if you hate...why are you taking time out of your "parfect life" to comment n say bad things, your no better than him. If I don't like someone I roll my eyes and don't even click on the story. You people click on the story, waste time out of your "perfect life" on commenting someone you don't like, yeah bet that makes you feel REAL good.

Anonymous said...

10:34, Does he spell his name in all CAPS or are you being "inaccurate"?

In case you haven't noticed, this is a blog about celebrity real estate. The good, bad, pretty and ugly.

It would be a very boring blog if all anyone ever did was write "I love *insert celebrity name*". The celebrities have fansites for that. Perhaps you should go find one for Nick Carter or start one if he doesn't have one.

It would be a very boring blog if everyone liked the same decor and agreed all the time. If this house was nicely decorated, you can be sure many of Mama's Children would be happily admiring and complementing his home....and a few would still think it was a pit.

That's life. That's Nick Carter's life. Or the life of any other person who chooses to place themselves in the public spotlight. I'm sure Nick Carter knows that.

Anonymous said...

where is Nick's new house in Franklin/Brentwood? Anyone know????????????

Anonymous said...

^^^"nashville" TN that is

Anonymous said...

I think we need a house like this one just to read/enjoy Mama's astute observations. Nick should be pleased he got a mention at all even if it is a skewering.

Anonymous said...

His new boyfriend is going to decorate the TN house.

Anonymous said...

12:09- His new neighbors call security if a car so much as slows down in front of his house. I heard they will do anything to stay off the celebrity bus tour. Hint: It's a very busy street. I think celebs do that on purpose so we can't stop and gawk!

hawaii said...

I live in this neighborhood, and... poor Nick... his home isn't worth anywhere close to $1.5 million anymore. Our property values have crashed here, unfortunately!

A lot of the homes are designed so that there's a separate, but attached, guest house/office/whatever you want to use it for... hence the odd-looking separate entrances and driveways.

Holy moly, what awful decor! That's not going to go over well with the people who want to live in PGCC. As I said, poor Nick... hope he's saved some of that boy band money!

Anonymous said...

His bandmate, Howie is somewhat of a real estate mogul from what I hear.

Anonymous said...

Some background: Parkland Golf and CC is home to several celebs, including Yankees Manager Joe Girardi. The City of Parkland itself is considered one of the most beautiful and wealthy residential areas of Florida and boasts public schools ranked in teh top 2% of the country. Rare for FL. Dam Marino and Dara Torres own homes in Parkland, and both Hillary and Barack made recent stops at Parkland homes for intimate fundraisers. Average income approaching $200k and most ar college educated. Nick's home is poorly decorated but ina great community and amazing city.

Anonymous said...

Nunca li tantas críticas desnecessárias e idiotas. Voces já ouviram falar que gosto não se discute, se respeita? Então, Nick deve fazer o que quizer com o dinheiro dele, foi ele que trabalhou e ainda trabalha pra comprar o que ele bem entender com o fruto do seu trabalho que é o dinheiro. E ele em 2006 tinha 26 anos e não 30, que é sua idade atual. Respeito é bom e todo mundo gosta!!!

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