Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Nic Cage Selling Another One

SELLER: Nic Cage
LOCATION: Spanish Heights Drive, Las Vegas, NV
PRICE: $9,490,000 (reduced from $9,500,000)
SIZE: 14,306 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 5 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Each guest suite and bath is done in such an individual unique manner one must take a second look to absorb the meticulous detail. Game rooms, guest quarters, professional theatre, state of the art security system are just a few of the gracious amenities. Three levels of living and entertaining with a commercial grade element to take you from your 16 car garage to a master suite that is a world apart–complete with steam, sauna and a jetted tub with a water fountain–private balcony views the mountains for a romantic sunset escape.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is running behind on a number of older items we've had lined up in our queue of celebrity properties, so we recognize and realize that many of you children already know that hair challenged and Academy Award winning actor Nic Cage is selling his giant house in Las Vegas from reading other websites and blogs that obsessively discuss celebrity real estate the way Your Mama does.

However, given that Mister Cage is one of the most prolific celebrity buyers and sellers of real estate, we figured we'd give this one a whirl anyway. Keep your mouth shut and move ahead if you've already read all you want to read about the humongous hacienda located on Spanish Heights Drive that Mister Cage has listed with an asking price of $9,500,000.

Located in the high priced gated community called The Spanish Hills, property records show that Mister Cage purchased his rather large desert hideout in September of 2006 for $8,500,000. Interestingly the public records Your Mama accessed indicate that creepy illusionist David Copperfield once owned the land on which Mister Cage's 14,306 square foot house sits.

Given that Mister Cage owns more properties around the world than Your Mama has fingers to count, it's unclear how much time Mister and Missus Cage actually spent roaming around the three floor mansion that includes 7 bedrooms (including a master with jetted tub, steam and sauna contraptions and private sitting room), 9 terlits, 3 fireplaces, garaging for a shocking 16 cars (who has 16 cars?), a professional theatre, a hotel lobby sized living room, gor-may kitchen, work out room, a swimming pool and spa and a commercial grade elevator that services all three floors of the 14,306 square foot house that is squeezed like a baby in the damn birth canal onto a .36 acre parcel.

Listing information indicates that the Cage casa is being offered fully furnished with each of the bedrooms done up in an "individual and unique manner," which quite frankly sounds a little frightening. Listen children, if anyone were to ask Your Mama–and of course no one did–there is little worse than themed bedrooms in private homes. No one, including Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, wants to drive 14 hours to visit Aunt Mary only be put up in a bedroom decorated like some fake-ass fantasy vision of Africa–because, you know, unlike Your Mama, Aunt Mary has never actually been to Africa–or an icky homage to her honeymoon in Hawaii. Seriously people, no one. Your Mama's decorating rule #28: No themed bedrooms in private homes. Ever. Themed bedrooms are only acceptable in kooky and kitchy motels like the magnificently camp Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, CA. (Your Mama's favorites has always been the Austrian Suite worked over all in blue and the pinkalicious Madonna Suite. Check 'em out for a good giggle).

Anyhoo, Your Mama hasn't a clue why Mister Cage would buy, exuberantly decorate and sell this huge house in just two years of ownership. But then again we also don't know what drives a man to (reportedly and according to property records) own a big house in Bel Air, two houses in New Orleans including the infamous LaLaurie House, a castle and a townhouse in Bath, England, a mansion (or two) in San Francisco, a big house in Middletown, Rhode Island, a couple of places in the Bahamas including a 40+ acre private island as well as additional residences in New York and Newport Beach, where he recently sold a humongous harbor front house for a blistering $35,000,000.

According to the Internet Movie Data Base the in demand actor has at least 7 or 8 projects in development and post production, so we don't imagine he has any trouble coughing up the necessary coin, but Your Mama's head still goes light and we have to power sniff the smelling salts just to consider the massive amount of moo-lah that Mister Cage and his much younger wifey Alice are required to spend every year on the taxes, maintenance and staffing for all of their too many houses.

Property records show that tennis titan Andre Agassi also owns two houses (and a third lot with a tennis court) in the posh Spanish Hills gated community, and as was reported by Mister Big Time previously, Mister Cage also owned a second home in the gated community, on Spanish Hills Drive that he purchased in September of 2005 for $2,250,000 and sold in April 2007 for $2,300,000, a sale price that surely amounted in a net loss for the property rich Mister Cage.

21 comments:

Grammar Polizia said...

That would be Casa Cage Mama

LArry from TEXas said...

Mama.......I hope you wouldn't consider a dungeon a theme room. If so I will have to begin renovating the basement space. I consider it "purpose built" rather than a theme room.

pch said...

The idea of a 16-car garage is tempting, but not enough to overlook everything else. And there's so much everything else.

aunt mary said...

Mama, you just give me a couple hours notice and the nascar bedspread and beer can chandelier are gone. Can't wait to see you!

StPaulSnowman said...

Aunt Mary; I was wondering if you are Mama's blood relative or just an "adopted" aunt? You seem, from your comments, to be very different from Mama. Did you have the sort of relationship Truman Capote had with his aunts? I don't mean to be rude but Mama seems so smooth and educated and you, well you have a beer can chandelier. I do think family is so important and I hope Mama visits you soon. Please don't be offended......we all envy your relationship with Mama.

aunt mary said...

When Mama was a little girl she would spend her summers with me. I taught her to crochet shoulder bags from old bread wrappers. We would make Velveeta and Spam sandwiches to eat at the free shows on the courthouse lawn on Saturday nights. If the weather was real hot, I would let her sleep in one of my old cotton slips on the screened in porch. We're real close. Once I even got a Christmas card from her.

Anonymous said...

Okay I just read the listing for the LaLaurie house on wikipedia and it was seriously disturbing. Nick Cage is just so bizarro.

eddie from pdx said...

And that kids, is why I love me some Aunt Mary.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Alessandra said...

It's, um, very sumptuous. I concur with PCH that the garage is certainly tempting, but the rest of the house is too much of a much. It belongs in Vegas, at least.

There, I said something nice.

StPaulSnowman said...

Aunt Mary; Somehow I knew there was a beautiful story there. You forgot the fireflies on the courthouse lawn. You do sound a lot like Sook to me. Did you have a hanging pot rack in your little shack? I can only hope that more of Mama's relatives surface here from time to time. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Keep spending money Nick.....you and Ellen D. are keeping the economy afloat.

aunt mary said...

Well I did hang the pot on a nail if that's what you mean.

Anonymous said...

Zestimate $4,869.500

I'm sure he'll get more than that, but I think he'll have a very hard time even getting to $7M. This ain't Beverly Hills or Manhattan we're talking about. It's just a another overblown "mansion" on an unremarkable street in the desert.

Anonymous said...

somebody ring Nikky Boy and tell him that the LV RE ponzi scheme is O-V-E-R.

luke220 said...

The MLS shows the price of this home at $9,950,000.

5100 SPANISH HEIGHTS Las Vegas NV 89148
Price: $9,950,000

Anonymous said...

He is selling this property because he does not want to take a bath on it. He will be LUCKY to get his money back! Property in Vegas is being foreclosed on all over the place. It is now a huge buyers market! You can name your price for most property now.

Why pay this insane price??? This house is just a large track home on a standard size lot. It is shoe horned on this tiny lot! House does not fit. Very, very, very small back and front yard. With that price I would want property with a mega pool, lawn, and tennis court!
Also, it is far from strip!

I would just buy one of the many vacant lots down the street and build my own. Maybe buy a double lot for some elbow room. I'm sure you could get a killer deal on the property and construction with the huge recession in Vegas now. Basically you are paying for the name on this one. And I don't like living in a cage! LOL.

Chris said...

It really is quite satisfying to note that these property splurging celebrities are probably being hit by declining house prices just when they least expected it. Selling for a concealed or "undisclosed" price would suggest to me that a loss was taken.

StPaulSnowman said...

Anon 7:39, thank you. Any recovering HGTV junkie has known for months how much the market in Las Vegas has deteriorated. The sagas of foreclosures is like something out of, (for the older chilun), Queen for a Day. I was flabbergasted when Mama dropped this little nugget this morning. As large homes relate to their surroundings, this one is a real "wedgie". I will be astonished if any buyer pays the rhinochallenged owner/flipper half of the asking price. As far as paying for the name goes, only Catherine Deneuve would be worth wasting this kind of money on.......and she would need to be included in the purchase price.

lil' gay boy said...

Tract house indeed.

Tacky B I G home on a tackylittlelot…

Looks like David Copperfield finally made something disappear; Nic Cage's $$$.

luke220 said...

This home is almost twice as much as the next highest priced property in the area.

Anonymous said...

Supposedly he sold the Newport Beach place after an intruder entered his house while Nick and the wife were home. Guess security will be on top of the list in future Cage acquistions.