Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Justin Long Buys Manhattan Bachelor Pad


BUYER: Justin Long
LOCATION: Norfolk Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $2,425,000
SIZE: 1,975 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Tower 15 boasts stunning views south, east, west and north thru floor to ceiling windows. This condominium residence was created by one of the world's most innovative architects, Bernard Tschumi. A limited edition home with designer finishes, beautiful kitchen and baths, amazing light, and wonderful city, river, and bridge views. The attended lobby and sun-filled roof terrace complete the package.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It was only a couple of months ago that Hollywood power player and notorious serial dater Drew Barrymore and her boy beau Justin Long were constantly cooing and publicly pawing at each other anytime someone turned eyes or a camera their direction. But no more children. One of little Miss Barrymore's people has recently confirmed the tabloid regulars have gone splitsville and according to recent reports it appears that the geeky looking actor and Apple Computer spokesman will be retreating to a newly purchased condominium on the Lower East Side of Manhattan to lick his romantic wounds.

Located in the newly built and much bally-hooed building on Norfolk Street called Blue, Mister Long's starchitect designed digs has 4-direction views and spreads across an entire floor with 1,975 square feet. Prop records do not yet show how much Mac money Mister Long spent on his new nest, but according to the listing, the "L" shaped two bedroom and two bathroom unit was last listed at $2,425,000.

Generally speaking, Your Mama appreciates the layout of Mister Long's new apartment. We love the private elevator landing but we don't love that the entrance hall drops guests right into the cramped dining area that is really little more than a glorified hallway. However, once we hang a right into the living room with its three walls of floor to ceiling glass that jut out into downtown sky, all the diminutive dining room drama is forgiven.

Although it would be nice to preserve the eastern sight lines from the living room, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would quickly call a contractor to continue the short wall of the guest bathroom another few feet to the south thereby partially enclosing the area that is identified on the floor plan as the "study." The long sweep of the hardwood floors and all that open space is lovely, but a little creative closing off would allow for a large built in desk on the north wall where we could work our fingers to the nubbins on our laptop and also provide a discreet and hidden area to stack the bills so we would not have to bear the indignity and stress of having to confront them every time we walked from the living room to the kitchen.

Closet space is adequate–partick in the master where in addition to a small closet near the bathroom is a giant dressing room/closet surrounded by windows which would give neighbors a good shot of Mister Long's nekkid booty if there were any other tall buildings around...which there are not. We feel the kitchen does not offer the best work flow, but it's certainly tolerable and we're very digging that a counter has been included on the dining room side from which Sunday morning buffet brunches can be served and where guests can sit and get slowly pie-eyed while chatting up the meal preparing host. We certainly would have preferred to see a powder room squeezed into the plan so that over night guests would be provided with a private pooper in which to do their durty bizness, but we can live with just the two especially since the door to the second bathroom, thankfully, does not open directly into a public space.

Your Mama's most may-jer concern about this unit is that besides the wide white walls in the bedrooms where does one hang the art? It could be a bit of a deal breaker for anyone with more than a few high priced paintings and photographs.

Designed by maverick modern architect Bernard Tschumi, there has been much hype and hoo-ha about the Blue building which was completed last year. Having been a long time resident of the Lower East Side back when it was still THE Lower East Side and not the haven for hipsters with high paying jobs that it's become, it's still a wee bit odd and discombobulating for Your Mama to see all these dee-luxe, hyper-designed and very expensive condo-buildings sprouting up amid the trashy tenements that line the narrow streets of Loisada. As such we're deeply concerned that the building has no visual references or real relationship to the neighborhood. This is not a building that rises from the character of the neighborhood but rather in spite of it which, of course, makes the big blue clean lined tower stick out like a sore thumb in a neighborhood of crumbling 4-6 story tenements.

That said, we do applaud the architectural efforts of Mister Tschumi who had the verve, vision and aesthetic fortitude to cantilever the southern elevation and clad the geometrically angled residential tower in multiple shades of blue glass which effectively (if a little obviously) mirrors the modern digital world in which we live. Besides, with all the aggressively ordinary Kostas Kondylis apartment towers thrown up left and right along the Manhattan avenues over the last 10 years, Mister Tschumi's Blue is a stunning and much needed breath of fresh air even if it is a bit brash and a lot out of place.

Now that Mister Long's lips are no longer occupied with Miss Barrymore, Your Mama hopes he gets them flapping on the phone to hire a nice gay decorator to help his sort out the day-core of his new bachelor pad. Your Mama just has one suggestion...okay two: No black leather sofas and we beg that he does not put a pool table where the dining room table belongs. Do you hear Your Mama, Mister Long? Do. Not. Do. It.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

looks like fine space for the money.

Anonymous said...

Momma you is famous once again. They quoted you on the big CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/homestyle/07/09/celebrity.real.estate.ap/index.html
Now don't go gettin' on uptown on us children be-cuz of all your no-toe-rye-a-tee
Love ya Momma!

Alessandra said...

I like the floor plan and think that th e second bedroom and bath could easily be turned into a suite by putting a door on the entrance to the small hallway that connects the two rooms.

I HATE the slanted walls in the bedrooms, however. I could not sleep in a room where it felt like the wall was about to fall down on me, but perhaps Mr. Long grew up sleeping in a pup tent and finds it comforting. Who knows?

If he hangs a Nagal print over the black leather sofa, all gay decorators will have the right to do an intervention.

so_chic_darling said...

I sort of like it but what's the point of living on the "new" lower east side? I just don't get it, no matter how many swanky new condos go up it will never be a great neighborhood. For the same price you could get a great new 2 bedroom in Chelsea. The lower east side is Siberia.

Todd said...

I like and dislike all the winders in the living room. I like them since they add great views and lots of light. But if Mr. Long is anything like me, I like to romp around in the evening with my own Mr. Long hanging out, if you know what I mean. And all those windows invite a NYC peep show.

Looks like a cozy apartment, one that I would glady live in if given the chance (OK...maybe I am a bit of a flasher at heart).

Anonymous said...

Ick. I can't stand oddly shaped rooms and can't look past the fact that 6, count 'em - 6 of the rooms in this apartment are just that. Regardless of whatever other features the place may have, the HUGE slanted wall is an insurmountable interest killer.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I can't believe you are agiving out his address! Now People can stalk him... I'm a Justin Long fan and this is just terrible! PUKE... NOT!!!!


Okay, so this place is a nice apartment, not nuts about the slantey walls but, it ads a dimension of interest much like living in a cape cod with the slanted ceilings and dormer windows.

I also, have no clue why anyone would want to live in this area.... especially at this price. EEEK

Hello Dolly said...

Uh Hello Dolly...Did you not see that the original source for this post was the "NY Sun," a newspaper, and they printed the address on July 3? The cat was out of the address bag long before this blog wrote a single word about Justin Long.

Anonymous said...

Hello Dolly, learn what sarcasim is

Anonymous said...

Hello Dolly, learn what sarcasim is

Anonymous said...

Hello Dolly, learn what sarcasim is

bentley said...

Dig it. Granted there are oddly shaped rooms and strange slants to some walls, but it has a good vibe.

Maybe, just maybe, Chelsea is a bit too pretentious for Mr. iMac. Or maybe he thinks he's a pioneer of the next best thing.

Whatever the reason, it is a lot of space and killer views for the money.

lil' gay boy said...

It's OK, anon 12:24 - this place gave me the hiccups too.

;-)

Not really feeling the all white, slanted wall thing, either (if they continue into the dressing area, do you have to get on your knees?) Nice architecture (for the most part), bad location (for now). But then I wouldn't want to live near Drew's sloppy seconds anyway…

Hello Dolly said...

Hello Dolly...I'll learn what sarcasm is Anon. 12:24 when you learn how to spell it correctly.

P.S. I can understand the concern, but I like the tent like slanted walls. The ceilings look way too tall for the slant to feel claustrophobic to me.

Polly said...

Hello Dolly.

Wilbur said...

Hate IT! Bad walls, no color, no art walls, bad location. 2-POINT- WHAT?

Anonymous said...

Bad location? You must be over 40. Or not from Manhattan. There are not many places in the city left that still has that unfinished feel to it. LES is still it..for now. Who knows how much longer.

so_chic_darling said...

Yes It's a bad location and I live in a much better part of Manhattan, Chelsea.

Anonymous said...

Well, that depends what you want. If a cool somewhat gritty neighborhood is your thing...LES is it. If you are thin, white, and gay then Chelsea is it. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Different things appeal to different people.

Anonymous said...

whats addresses? apt #?

AndrewC said...

I don't like the fact that if you invite people here, the only two bathrooms are INSIDE the two bedrooms... IMO, there HAS to be one bathroom where the 'public' is, as I don't want strangers in my private washroom(s).

Example: "Oh, the sushi gave you the runs? Please, use the bathroom in my bedroom to the right." The smell will last for hours while you sleep!

debby downer said...

Dolly, can you help me get a date?

so_chic_darling said...

Chelsea was gay now it's rich young handbag girls who go to galleries and the men who love them, also Chelsea is for the rich and yes rich gays. Most of the gays on 8th Ave are just day tripping from one of the over boroughs or another state or country.

Anonymous said...

Needs a pool table in the dining room.

Sorry Mama.

Anonymous said...

Agree that compounding the oddly shaped rooms with slanted walls is just too much. Not feelin' it.

Anonymous said...

It is changing a little but it is still VERY gay. I live there too so I'm not saying anything bad about it. Maybe not "real Chelsea" as I am on 24 and 7 across from Whole Foods. Do not know where you are. Some consider where I am flatiron so...

pch said...

I like the angled walls. But then, I'd move into Disney Hall if they'd let me...

Anonymous said...

The LES is a shithole. Who would choose to live here? Oh, people with $$$ who think it's "cool".

Anonymous said...

I love the LES, but the Blue is the ugliest building in Manhattan.

Anonymous said...

I hate this guy in that commercial. I hate that commercial. I never even heard of this guy until this commercial. I do like this apartment, though. Dammit.

bucolicboy said...

uptown, downtown, tribeca, the whole place is just a big dirty city where you have to watch your feet on the sidewalk to avoid stepping in shit, spit,filth. What a hoot that people are willing to pay so much to breathe that air............and they banned smoking.......what a laugh.

Anonymous said...

Inelegant, awkward, impractical and I would think, eventually, annoying. Even with a wide angle lens it has a cramped, claustrophobic feeling. Perhaps because the walls are, literally, closing in! Too bad his apt. does not have the elegant design of the product he promotes.

so_chic_darling said...

Well bucolic boy at least we don't fuck sheep.