Thursday, October 18, 2007

Brad Garrett's Malibu Mansion

BUYER: Brad Garrett
LOCATION: Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $8,814,588
SIZE: 6,526 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spanish villa on approx. 1 acre. Completed in June 2005. State of the art amenities include home theater with 11 ft screen & theater seats, hardwood & Travertine floors, high ceilings, Venetian plaster walls, whole house entertainment system, Malibu tiles, chef's kitchen. Living room with doors opening to large patio, pool & hot tub. Two 20car garages + motor court.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama and one of our favorite tipsters Lucy Spillerguts were chatting the other day, and she mentioned big and tall Brad Garrett's Malibu mansion like Your Mama knew all about it. We did not. So Miz Spillerguts gave me all the 411 she had and Your Mama quickly got on the horn to our Fairy Godmother in Malee-boo who was able to provide us with all the missing information.

Turns out that back in January of 2007, Mister Garret discreetly purchased a newly built Spanish style house on nearly and acre of prime property on the Encinal Bluffs at the northern end of Malee-boo. According to property records, Mister Garrett paid $8,814,588 for the 6,000+ square foot house that includes 5 bedrooms and an impressive, but annoying to the maid 6.5 bathrooms, which means 7 terlits for Carmelita to scrub and polish until the Comet eats away her fingerprints.

Perhaps this is where the Emmy winning Mister Garrett, who shot to fame and fortune on the outrageously successful sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, will move once his monstrous Hidden Hills house finally finds a buyer willing to plunk down more than $8,000,000 to purchase his recently built "French Country manor."

The furniture and interior decor we see in the photographs do NOT belong to Mister Garrett, so we don't blame him for the too small chandelier in the dining room or that strange thing hanging over the island in the kitchen that appears to be a cluster of grapes and garlic. This is probably meant to look charming, warm, and "Spanish," but it just makes Your Mama's eyes roll back in our head.

If we're being truthful, and Your Mama always its, there's really very little in the interior photos that we like very much. This sort of faux Andalusian style with heavy and intricately carved furniture and cabinets chock full of decorative plates just doesn't work for us. But after viewing and discussing Mister Garrett's Hidden Hills house, we certainly understand why he (and the wifey if they are still coupled) would be drawn to this house.

While we're quite sure it's lovely to have a theater-like media room in the basement for viewing all the movies the studio sends out to the starts, and the seats in Mister Garrett's look very comfortable, there's something stifling about this particular media space that we can't quite put our finger on. Could it be the all beige color scheme that leaves the space looking strangely empty? Could it be that it looks too much like a finished basement, which happens to be one of Your Mama's pet peeves?

What we do appreciate about this house is the lovely covered patio off the living room which is of course an excellent place to sip gin and tonics out of the burning California sunshine and we are also drawn to the ocean side pool, because what could be more decadent and luxurious than swimming in a heated pool while staring out at the usually chilly Pacific Ocean? And of course, the Dr. Cooter loves a built in spa, particularly one from which the sunset can be watched while sucking on a bottle of Turley wine.

It appears that the property, which sits on a very high bluff, has no direct access to the beach unless one scrambles and tumbles down the vertical face of the bluff. There is public access to the beach just a quick stroll up the Pacific Coast Highway, but for nearly $9,000,000 Your Mama would hope for private beach access. Perhaps the sellers and/or Mister Garrett have already applied to the California Coastal Commission for permission to build an long and heart attack inducing staircase to the beach.

Some of Mister Garrett's more well known neighbors include Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who are just down the highway, Cindy Crawford and her huzband Randy Gerber, who are just up the highway, and Mister Leonardo DiCaprio, who very quietly purchased the $6,350,000 house next door in January of 2007.

8 comments:

West Coastian said...

It would appear that Mr. Garrett can dribble from any terlit in the house Mama. He deevorced his wifey back in July of 06.

It may have been under the radar since his real last name is Gerstenfeld.

Anonymous said...

leo d? where are the pictures
hmm

Anonymous said...

Love the view, hate the house. As far as I'm concerned if you have a beach house it should either be tropical looking, modern or Cape Cod...the Spanish style is totally unappealing to me.

caveman said...

i agree, that house looks like a cartoon

Anonymous said...

Oh Mama...please don't do this to us. If you knew Leo bought the house next door, why didn't you do a spread on that property? We'd love to know about it. Pretty Puhleezzz!!!

so_chic_darling said...

Are we at a restaurant in the grove or a pottery barn shop in Tampa?I don't know and I don't care.This is a house for people who don't have any idea about style so the just buy off the shelf Spanish,Tuscan whatever crap they build.Where's nice gay decorator?

pch said...

A clunky melange of "Mediterranean" elements like hundreds of other new-ish houses in Malibu -- this architectural trend cannot end too soon.

Anonymous said...

We want info on Leo! Info on Leo! Give us info on Leo! You can't just let this pass by.