Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Robert Cray Selling Los Feliz Pad

SELLER: Robert Cray
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,250,000
SIZE: 2,205 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Enchanting one story European, private and custom home on huge lot w/almost 1 acre flat with pool. An island unto itself. 3 Bds. 21/2 Baths.L.R. has beamed ceilings. & Ariz. Flagstone F.P., Wood flrs.D.R. has adjct. patio bringing in the outdoors. Kitch. has Viking Range & Sub-Zero in pantry. Sep. office/gst.hse + office/studio. Master has secret garden w/spa. Rear patio has F.P. & B.B.Q. Huge driveway w/rm. for 8 cars. Wine cellar-Pool-Zinfandel Vines ready for harvest! Views of Griffith Observ.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Three time Grammy winning R&B singer and guitarist Robert Cray recently put his sa-weet Los Feliz house on the market with a not so sweet asking price of $3,250,000. Most of y'all prolly don't know who Robert Cray is, but if you care to, you can Google his ass and get all the information your little hearts desire. Your Mama is simply too tahrd, too bizzy, and too bitchy this morning to do that work for the children today. Sorry babies, but sometimes you gotta make your own lunch.

Anyhoo, Mister Cray and his wifey purchased this house in April of 1997 for just $800,000. Which means the couple can just about retire in high style in Honduras or some other tropical and nearly third world country on the multi-million dollar profit they're hoping to pocket from the sale of their property. That is if they get anywhere near the asking price, which seems a little steep to Your Mama.

Located up in "The Oaks" section of Los Feliz, where a-list actor Brad Pitt maintains a multi-residence compound, Mister Cray's house occupies a fantastic and private peninsula-like piece of property in one of the better, if not easily accessed East Side locations.

With a modest 2,205 square feet and just 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, most of you size queens will think Mister Cray's house simply too small to accommodate the big members of your brood. But Your Mama, who actually prefers something mid-sized over airport terminal sized, thinks it's just about right, large enough to comfortably house our small family of two long bodied bitches named Linda and Beverly and one bitchy pussycat named Sugar who would sooner claw the skin off right off your face than allow you to touch her, but not so large that Minerva the cleaning gurl would need to be up in our hair scrubbing terlits and vacuuming pooch and pussy hair more than once a week.

Keep in mind that listing information for the property indicates there is a very charming little guest cottage/office by the gigantic rectangular swimming pool and an additional office/studio that we think is attached to the detached garage. These fantastic features mean that there's really no need to house guests in the modestly sized main house or to spread out the spread sheets on the kitchen table. So is the house really so small afterall?

Your Mama is not impressed with the interior decor of the house, but we do love the nearly kitchy, but still beautiful Arizona Flagstone fireplace and the open plan of the living and dining rooms. We also like the humongous windows, and what appears in the photos to be an easy indoor/outdoor flow, perfect for that sunny California lifestyle people West of Nevada like to poo-poo, but secretly desire.

While some of the landscaping appears to be well considered and thoughtful, for example that gorgeous patio off the master bedroom that includes a sunken spa, Your Mama would get landscaper to the stars Jay Griffith on the line as soon as the papers were signed to xeriscape the hell out of this place so that is resembled a cluster of California adobe buildings surrounded by lots of easy maintenance and drought tolerant fire bush and agave. Because, let's be honest, it won't be long before water in Southern California will be more valuable than oil. Once the water wars begin, get used to seeing rich people all up and down Sunset Boulevard go ape shit with desperation to buy enough water to keep their acres of lawns unnaturally green and their multitudes of mammoth motor cars spotless. Sure, we love a lovely and verdant lawn too, but Your Mama prefers to steer clear of that water shortage mess with a landscape design that needs only a few drops of water per year to sustain itself.

But we digress. It's unfortunate we don't have more photographs of the interior of this house because we're aching to see the bathrooms and the kitchen, which listing information states has Viking and SubZero appliances...always good things in a multi million dollar home of any size.

Now babies, Your Mama needs to go pop a big fat nerve pill and have a lie down, so please do not disturb us with a bunch of snotty emails about how lazy we are. We do not want to hear it. Besides, you should probably be doing the job you're being paid to do rather than sitting around your office reading this damn blog anyways. Bye now.

16 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

LOVE this house Mama,but I'm joining you with that nerve pill today!
Just reading the words "pussy hair" was enough to make my day!

Virginia Girl said...

Oh mama, I do love it when you're sassy!

Kevin Federline said...

Mama, can you babysit the kids for me today? I have an audition as an extra in a video shoot.

Aunt Mary said...

Mama, you just go and have yourself a nice lie-down. Honestly, snooping in on the rich and famous requires shock proof nerves and an iron stomach. I mean, after reading that Eddie Murphy post, I felt I needed a lie-down and a shower. The excess!

Anonymous said...

you mean Robert Crazy ?

Anonymous said...

Too much $$ for too little space and too uninspiring finishes - even in that area. It'll be really interesting to see what final price the place fetches.

I said...

I love you when you're cranky, Mama.

Anonymous said...

Mama...how do you keep sugar from scratin the furnitures?

The Hollywood Mayor said...

They're DREAMING with that price! A huge Spanish home on Live Oak that was the former home of Cary Grant sold for around $3.5M and that was a castle compared to this. I say it goes for $2.5M... obviously to someone who likes the quaint style and the guest house.

Anonymous said...

$1.6M tops.

sugarhoneyicetea said...

I love the house. I like the coziness of it. The interior needs some spicing up, though. A little color, more texture.

Hope Mama is feeling better today. Lord knows I can take my bitchiness out on the kiddies too.

West Coastian said...

I think Mama is either suffering from the vapors or that nerve pill was too big and too fat yesterday.

Hope you're feeling not too bad today Mama but if you need a break, us kids can just watch cartoons all day.

caveman said...

how about a floor plan of that 30mil trump tower apt that just sold?

Ken McKenna said...

Mama,

Dropped by the open house for this property yesterday after reading about it here. Incredible land and pool! It's got an over 60,000 square foot lot! To get some idea of what that means in The Oaks, just take a gander at this Zillow hybrid map/photo: http://www.zillow.com/aerial/DualMapPage.htm?zpid=45649553

I mentioned to the agents that the house had made it to Real Estalker with the owner's name attached. Thought the agents might just fall over dead. Very, very upset. "But I told nobody!" "The client is the most private person in the world!" etc. etc. I assured them that Your Mama's spies were everywhere and resistance is futile. Somehow that didn't seem to comfort them.

BTW, somewhat odd floor plan. But the land! The land! Oliver Wendell Douglas would have plotzed over these Oaky Green Acres!

Cheeerio.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like many of the posters don't know "The Oaks". I used to live around the corner from Mr Cray, and every time I would walk my dog past his property, the feeling was "some day..." IT IS a unique property, and I guarantee he will get the price. I'm not going to mention who else lives in the Oaks, as to protect their privacy, but I tell you it is one very special, VERY, VERY safe neighborhood. If I had that kind of money, I would snap it up in a heart beat.

Ken McKenna said...

Hey, it sold. IT SOLD!! Multiple offers were made. Some were up over $3.4Mil. Developers! Trophy seekers! Lots of people. It's gone from the MLS. Gone. Gone! GONE!!! Mama, check your LA sources. Do it today!