Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Funnyman Jim Carrey Lists Malibu Colony Crib

SELLER: Jim Carrey
PRICE: $13,950,000
SIZE: 2,866 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: For almost a year Canadian-born comedian Jim Carrey has been a hot topic in all the property gossip columns and (celebrity) real estate oriented blogs from Brooklyn to Malibu. Not only has the L.A.-based Golden Globe winner been repeatedly spotted checking out a-lister digs in New York City, he's just put his ocean front beach house inside the 24-hour guarded gates of Malibu Colony in Malibu, CA on the market with an asking price of $13,950,000.

This isn't, as it turns out, Mister Carrey's first turn on the bucking bronco at this particular real estate rodeo. The folks at Redfin show Mister Carrey first (an unsuccessfully) attempted to unload he seaside bedsit between June and December 2011 when it was listed, de-listed and re-listed a couple of times at a couple of prices.

Always on (and sometimes annoying) Mister Carrey has mucked around Hollywood since the early 1980s but it wasn't until he was cast as the elastic-faced white guy on the sketch comedy program In Living Color in 1990 that he really started up his ladder of fame of fortune. A lot of really stupid but often high-grossing comedies followed including (but far from limited to) Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, Dumb & Dumber and The Cable Guy, an horrific cinematic turd that reportedly earned him a gasp-inducing $20,000,000 paycheck.

Mister Carrey wisely shifted gears in the late 1990s with less hokey-jokey roles in The Truman Show and Man on the Moon. Since the turn of the 21st century Mister Carrey has careened from low-brow comedies like Bruce Almighty, Yes Man and Mister Popper's Penguins to more artsy and (arguably) dignified ditties like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and I Love You Phillip Morris.

Property records and the long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Living both reveal Mister Carrey scooped up his ocean front crib in Malibu Colony in October 2002 for $9,750,000.

Current listing information puts the house at a fairly modest (and small-sounding) 2,866 square feet with a total of 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms that include a staff suite and second floor master suite with head-on ocean view, fireplace flanked by custom-fitted cabinetry, a built-in flat screen screen tee-vee, private pooper, walk-in closet and direct access to a glass-railed terrace perfect for star-gazing and post-coital smoking.

A narrow walkway runs alongside the attached two-car garage to the front door that opens into a tile-floored, open-plan main living area and floating staircase embellished some of the most upsetting artwork—or "artwork"—on which Your Mama has ever had the displeasure to lay our boozy eyes. We well understand that beauty (and art) is deeply personal and held in the eye of the beholder but the gnarled and twisted, multi-colored driftwood hoozymagoozy affixed to the staircase gives Your Mama and The Dr. Cooter both a bone-chilling case of the willies and the sponge-painted banister is, well, unspeakable as are the pair of "paintings" on the towering wall of frosted glass behind the staircase.

The open plan main living space includes a living room with fireplace, built-in wood cabinets and a flat screen tee-vee with a truly gawd awful sponge-painted frame; a dining room with built-in storage buffet and frosted windows along one wall; a well-equipped kitchen with flat-fronted maple (or maybe birch) cabinetry that extend clear to the ceiling, speckled (and dated-looking) granite counter tops, a Suburu-sized center island with snack counter, and a slew of high-grade stainless steel appliances.

A built-in wet bar separates the living/dining/kitchen space from the kind of wee, window-wrapped family room that spills out through floor-to-ceiling glass sliders to a good-sized deck—with planks laid at a 45-degree angle to the house—that accommodates an outdoor dining area, surfboard storage racks, built-in barbecue center and elevated sunbathing and ocean-watching platform. Listing information indicates the deck has removable privacy walls for when Mister Carry and his guests want to run around nekkid on the deck without being seen by any people or paps who might be strolling and trolling along the thin strip of sand between the house and the surf. A third floor roof terrace is outfitted with more sun bathing loungers, an above ground spa tub and—according to listing information—mood lighting.

Malibu Colony has a long and storied history of wealthy and/or high-profile property owners who include (but are far from limited to) Barbara Stanwyk, Gloria Swanson, Jackie Collins, Linda Ronstadt and Jane Leeves. Tom Hanks owns two houses, one on the water and one directly across the street. At some point in the past Sting and Trudie Styler leased their Malibu Colony residence to Leonardo DiCaprio who now owns his own 7 bedroom and 6 bathroom crib in the Colony recently put up for lease at $75,000 per month. Survivor producer and The Apprentice creator Mark Burnett and wife Roma Downey own a house in Malibu Colony as does spike-haired super-producer Brian Grazer who's had his three-story beach front digs on and off the market for years. British-born action flick stud Jason Statham recently bought in Malibu Colony and Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen recently sold. Peri Gilpin (Fraser, Hot in Cleveland) bought her land-side beach house two summers ago for $3,550,000 from Shabby Chic queen Rachel Ashwell and Tinseltown tart Pamela Anderson reportedly almost went broke remodeling her land-side house in Malibu Colony. Media mogul Jerry Perenchio owns—by our unscientific count—at least a dozen homes in Malibu Colony as well as the adjacent private golf course that sits behind tall walls between the exclusive enclave and the Pacific Coast Highway.

In addition to he Malibu residence, Mister Carrey has long owned an 8,028 square foot sprawler with guest house, swimming pool and tennis court in L.A.'s low-key but high-priced Brentwood area he bought, according to property records, in July 1994 for $3,800,000. In early 2000 he dropped another $1,700,000 on the 1.02 acre lot next door with separate (but connected) gated entrance, small parking area, meandering lawns and plaza-sized entertainment terrace.

Mister Carrey's nearby neighbors in Brentwood include night time chat show host Conan O'Brien, entertainment industry executive Marc Weinstock and tabloid-embattled movie star John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston.

As he thins his west coast property portfolio multiple reports reveal Mister Carrey would like to acquire a New York City pied-a-terre. Last year he leased a swank apartment at one of the star-studded, Richard Meier-designed green glass towers that lord over a lower section of the West Side Highway in the far West Village and he was said to be shopping for a downtown pad in the $5-8,000,000 range. More recently he's been spotted peeping at a titanic triplex penthouse in Brooklyn's Dumbo 'hood listed at $19,000,000 and a 7,000 (ish) square foot townhouse in the the the art gallery-filled Cheslea neighborhood with an asking price of $13,650,000.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty / Pacific Palisades


Shopgirl said...

Nothing funny about this place. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Bland boring and austere, like his "comedy" is these days. I assume the price tag is because it is on the ocean because the house itself is worth maybe $550,000.

Anonymous said...

The Brentwood place has to be worth quite a sum. I never found him funny, and even less when he broke up with Jenny McCarthy.

lil' gay boy said...

He's always been the equivalent of a dog whistle to me -- a kind of funny I just cannot hear.

But sponge-painted accents in an oceanfront Malibu manse?


Anonymous said...

He was reasonably funny in Dumb and Dumber but mainly because he could play off another actor. I never liked anything else of his that I saw. Way too bizarre.

CarlaInCalifornia said...

I like Jim Carrey. My sentimental favorite is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective because I love pets, and I thought Jim was funny.

Love this beach house. Don't care too much for some of the decorations but so what? The bones on this place are spectacular and as for the view.... WOW! I could see myself having a nice relaxing get-together with friends on the weekends for a barbecue all summer long.

Can you imagine waking up to the beautiful sunrise every morning to this place? How about enjoying a nice drink while watching the sunset in the evening after a stressful day at work? This place is medicine for the soul.... sigh.

Thanks for post, Mama!

Anonymous said...

I was moderately interested in the house until you mentioned a "long-legged blonde" at Trulia Luxe Living. Let's have some details on her (I assume it's a her, there are long-legged blonde guys, too). I'd still rather live on a bluff and have a nice view of the ocean rather than live right on the beach. But, over either, I'd take the Taylor place up Mandeville Canyon with a long-legged blonde for company. (*wonders what is wrong with that place that it doesn't sell*)

Candy, you could stop by but, don't expect an invite to dinner.

Anonymous said...


ExcitingLA said...

love the property; love the views even more! this is a great property. some of the decor isn't really my cup of tea...but as CarlaInCalifornia so eloquently put it "who cares". decor easy to change. crappy property - not so much. this property gets an A in my book!

Boulder Homes said...

The price of the place is not funny too, but because it is near on the beach it is undoubtedly cool. I love you Peter Morris!!! ^_^