Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gossip Queen Janice Min Lists Loft

SELLER: Janice Min
LOCATION: Lafayette Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $7,395,000
SIZE: 3,795 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama plans to spend most of today watching the cacti grow but before we find a shady spot in the yard to plant our fat ass we thought we'd piggy back on Gawker's recent discussion of gossip queen Janice Min listing her loft in New York City's SoHo neighborhood at a ear piercing asking price of $7,395,000.

Miz Min, for those who may not recognize her name, was the editor-in-chief of Us Weekly. She's the ladee responsible for promoting every move, mistake an fart of folks like Paris Hilton, the octo-mom, Kate Gosselin and that sad, washed up Lindsay Lohan gurl who is so desperate to protect her, ahem, good name that she's resorted to suing ETrade for $100,000,000 because they named one of the talking babies in one of their boob-toob commercials Lindsay the "milkaholic." Anyhoo, Miz Min resigned her post as the King of the Gossip Queens last year and it's rumored and reported that she may move on to producing a celebrity-mom based website for butchy butch media tycoon Barry Diller. We can't imagine anything more inane or pretentious than a website on which celebrity mommies give parenting advice to regular, sleep deprived and nanny-free mommies.

Property records show that Miz Min and her schoolteacher huzband paid $4,050,000 for their loft in late October of 2005. It doesn't take much manipulating of the well worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus to see that Miz Min and her schoolteacher huzband are hoping to just about double their money on the 3,795 square foot loft space.

Listing information shows the corner loft is located in a pre-war full-service condo buildings and that a keyed elevator opens directly into the L-shaped dining/living/kitchen/media/den space that has 14 windows, 5 columns, delicious caramel colored hardwood floors, rough hewn oak beams from the 1890s and stretches a staggering 68-feet long from end to end.

Your Mama is not fond of loft living–we prefer actual rooms that provide some intimacy but still flow nicely into each other–and we're a little non-plussed with the rather generic day-core but we are covetous of the multi-colored striped rugs in the dining and living rooms. The gore-may kitchen is fitted with Italian cabinetry in a taupe-y gray color, arctic white counter tops, and a slew of high grade stainless steel appliances that, according to listing information, include "two Miele dishwashers, a 4 burner Viking range with grill, a French door SubZero refrigerator with 4 freezer drawers, a Miele espresso maker, warming tray and combination microwave convection oven."

There are two bedrooms and 2.5 poopers including a gigantic master bedroom with a sitting/exercise area, two standard-sized closets, a third walk-in closet, and a five-piece marble lined pooper that includes a steam shower. Your Mama would have preferred to see slab marble in the pooper rather than the smaller cut pieces that make for an interesting visual grid but also compete with the natural vein of the marble. What we do like in there is the black tile in the back of the shower which makes a nice counter point to all the white marble tile work.

Other residents of Miz Min's high-profile building include David Bowie and his long-necked model wife Iman and boo-teek hotelier Ian Schrager whose 3,990 square foot doo-plex penthouse was listed last year with an asking price of $12,500,000 and is now, according to StreetEasy, in contract.


Anonymous said...

When I see a home this tasteful (if dull) belonging to a person whose riches come from catering to the very worst appetites in our culture, it's both illuminating and depressing. Thanks for reminding us about the game.

Unknown said...

I love it - and totally agree - "We can't imagine anything more inane or pretentious than a website on which celebrity mommies give parenting advice to regular, sleep deprived and nanny-free mommies."
Sorta like Gwyneth and her GOOP - telling us we need more sleep. IF I COULD I WOULD MY DEAR.

Grrrowler said...

I'm not usually fond of loft living myself, but I could see being comfortable in this place. The columns, to me, help delineate the space, plus are a nice counter to the more modern aspects of the apartment.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, I actually liked this one (not withstanding the big assed whiteboard in the dining room). I agree with you on the bathroom detail, but love the tile, chrome and glass concept. The shower gets a big, throbbing, thumbs up.

Oh, and "Lindsay the "milkaholic." ?


Anonymous said...

Love that you characterize Barry Diller as "butchy butch" - well done! He prefers slab as well.

Now I'm having a tough time decoding the list of other residents of this building you mentioned in an earlier article. Would you please be kind enough to name the photography dealer, sculptress, textile tycoon, Tony award-winning actress with a tennis player husband, Israeli producer, and Johnson & Johnson heir who also live at 285 Lafayette Street?

Thank you.

Barbacoa Striesand said...

NO POOPER WINDOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacaranda Johnson said...

aren't lofts over yet? and this one is so damn overpriced it's a crime.
run 7 million through the NYC listings and if you can't find better space for the money I'll buy you lunch!

Anonymous said...

Mama, hope you are in the Russell house, not sure Frey would love all the updates, but beautiful, and if you and Dr. Cooter can afford the $1,925/night things are going VERY well.

Sneech said...

New Yorkers really do love their white walls, don't they? Just an observation.

Anonymous said...

Where have you been this week, Mama? Miss you!!

Patty said...

I'm so loving the design of this house, it's so open and bright and beautiful! Thanks for posting!