Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another Housewife Biting the Real Estate Dust?

Oh dear.

According to the ever-intrepid folks at gossip juggernaut TMZ, another of the supposed to be rich housewives from Orange County is embroiled in another real estate fracas. This time it is the sweet but entirely too tan "jewelry" designer Lynne Curtin who was, just today, served with a three day notice to perform or face eviction by her Laguna Beach, CA landlord.

That's right chickens, her landlord. Apparently Miz Curtin and her building contractor huzband Frank rent their house in laid back but exorbitantly priced Laguna Beach and, according to the eviction notice, the couple owe their landlord $12,363 in unpaid security deposit, late fees and unreimbursed moving expenses. The homeowner also claims that the utilities to the house have been turned off because the Curtains have failed to pay them and, because real estate drama often arrives in threes, a real estate agent is huffing and puffing that she never received the $2,500 commission owed to her for arranging the lease for the Curtins.

Your Mama does not actually know where the Curtin's new crib is but we do know thanks to Lucy Spillerguts that until sometime in June of 2009 Mister and Missus Curtin occupied one half of a duplex condo property on Camino Capistrano in Dana Point, CA.

Now listen children, Your Mama is certain that Mister and Missus Curtin or their spokesperson will shortly put out some sort of statement that this is all some sort of mistake and the check got lost in the mail and that it's already all cleared up or some such thing. And we sincerely hope that's the case because we never like to see anyone turned out of their (rented) house.

However, we do have a beef with booze swilling tee-vee show host/Senior Vice President of Production and Programming Andy Cohen and his casting minions at The Bravo who can't seem to find actual rich people to star in their Real Housewives of... franchise which is supposed to be about actual (nouveau riche) rich people and their disturbingly profligate ways and not cash-strapped couples who spend in the most frivolous, indiscriminate and vulgar manner even though they're not paying their mortgage. That is, not paying their mortgage iffin they even have a damn mortgage.

First was former mortgage broker and wannabe housewife Slade Smiley from the Orange County version whose home slid into foreclosure back in early 2008.

A few months ago, hot and spicy housewife NeNe Leakes in Atlanta was rumored and reported to have been evicted from her rental house last year. She sorta denied it.

More recently Lisa Wu Hartwell and her former footballing huzband Ed were tossed from their pond fronting multi-million dollar mansion in the St. Marlo Country Club community in Duluth, GA after defaulting on their mortgage. Their reps claim the couple tried to restructure their mortgage but since the house had lost a ton of value the bank said, nay. They have, according to their peeps, settled in a new house on 10 acres that they own.

Let's not forget recent dee-vorcee She by Sheree Whitfield whose suburban Atlanta manse was foreclosed earlier this year because, she claims, she was clueless about the fact that her mean ol' ex-huzband Bob was not paying the mortgage. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Bevelry that there is more to this story than She by Sheree is saying.

Then there's former Playboy Playmate turned real estate pusher Jeana Keough who somehow managed to restructure several mortgages she has on several pricey properties in Orange County and currently has her eight terlit spread in the gated community of Coto de Caza listed with an optimistic asking price of $4,900,000.

Next up is thinks-she's-the-hottest-housewife Tamra Barney and her tequila selling huzband Simon who have their Ladera Ranch, CA tract house listed as a short sale at $1,149,000. They paid $1,320,500 for the 5 bedroom mock-Mediterranean in August of 2005. Of course, they're spinning the situation like they don't mind eating the loss so they can take advantage of a weak housing market and buy a foreclosed property or a buildable lot where they can erect a new and better faux-Tuscan tract house.

And then there is woman-with-a-past Danielle "Beverly Merrill" Staub in New Jersey who admitted during an early segment of that series that she's about two minutes and a Range Rover payment from financial ruin because she and her ex-huzband can not come to terms on the details of their acrimonious dee-vorce.

And let's not forget that hot-tempered, curly-haired baller Teresa Giudice in New Jersey who pays for everything with a wad of cash as big as a roll of terlit paper. Now, it can certainly be argued that if table tossing Teresa is humping around Franklin Lakes with a couple hundred grand in her designer handbag she's rich. However, iffin anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, we're suspicious because, pleeze, let's be honest, who does that–on national tee-vee for chrissakes–if they ain't trying to prove something to somebody?

Next up? One of those bonkers behawtchas in New York? Have mercy.


Anonymous said...

Dear Mama,

The casting folks at Bravo do sure know how to pick 'em. Bless their hearts!

TMZ also reported that Lisa Hartwell foreclosed/short saled her home in ATL. http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/11/real-housewife-loses-house-still-a-wife/

Anonymous said...

Oh Mama, I think all the Housewives are a microcosm of the nouveau riche everywhere. Relentlessly materialistic and deep in denial about their precarious financial situations, they don't realize the economy has soured, the bill is due and the party is over. They continue to flaunt their bling-bling lifestyles, shop, drink and cat fight while their precious "lifestyles" fall right off the cliff. What a testament to stupid living. Now pass the popcorn, this is going to be fun to watch. Schadenfreude? You betcha!

Anonymous said...

Actually couldn't Luanne from the New York season be added to this list of "nouveau riche" financial disasters?

When her and her (cheating) husband split, they vacated their rented Manhattan townhouse. Granted they weren't evicted but, renting....really? I thought he was supposed to be a count or something. :)

I have no problem with renting, I rent (I'm also 25 and just finished paying off my school loans...yay!), but she has this way of making other people feel like pee-ons because she is so posh, refined and privileged. NOT!

The posh, refined and privileged ones are those Brad and Angelina spawns. They travel the world and stay in the most massive spreads. Their mom and dad rent while on location....different story.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know, why is this the only "reality" show I hear about people losing their homes? Are there others out there or are they more responsible than these trashy women?

Anonymous said...

And mama, you left out the good part. Word is, the crew from Bravo where filming at the house for the upcoming season, when there was a knock at the door from the man with the eviction papers. Gossssh, I pray for that clip to be shown.

JLo said...

They're just doing what a lot of other rich folks in houses worth less than their mortgage are doing: deciding that it's a waste of money to keep paying for a $5 million mortgage on a $3 million house and walking away. They have the cash and the contacts to start over scot-free and they are doing it.

deniseweldon said...

Hey Mama!
The wads of cash Miss Theresa hauls around smells a lot like cash skimmed from her "juicy" husband's "construction" business or maybe a little money laundering? How do you explain that kind of income from a "construction" business? I smell the Mob!

angie said...

Great comment Preppy Pauper - "testament to stupid living". My thoughts exactly.

SGM said...

This is an excellent research piece, and as much as I love Andy Cohen, he most definitely deserves the reprimand.

Thank you ever so much, dearest Mama.

marlee said...

I've heard that NeNe doesn't live in the house you see her in on this season... Apparently Bravo is renting the house and NeNe and family show up for filming, but actually live elsewhere... If you look around the house it appears plausible.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Marlee... I wondered about that-- Nene doesn't even have any furniture (tacky or otherwise) in that house. So when is Kim's time up? Or is she too busy opening the packages that D and G send her all damn day to pay attention to whether or not her mortgage is being paid?
And ugh... I knew that slimeball Slade Smiley couldn't pay a mortgage. Bleh!
I completely agree with your assessment. Bravo needs to do some serious research and maybe revamp, calling the new show The Real For Real Housewives of... Because nothing's fun about watching a bunch of ladies fumbling around in a condo. Remember Quinn? See, neither do I!

Anonymous said...

Teresa and the the rest of the New Jersey girls are mob obviously.

The only one that I hope gets out of her problems is Jeana. She is nice and genuine and a hard worker. The rest are worthless.

Overwhelmed Mom said...

I read an interview with Ms. Teresa who said that scene where she pulled out $120,000 in cash at a store was staged & set up by Bravo - she said she'd never be that stupid to carry around that much cash . . . so who knows??

Anonymous said...

Nene said she does live in the house and she rents it. She said there is nothing wrong with renting the bills still have to be paid.

My token is why are you renting if your rich? She is broke.

Luanne is really renting? are you sure? Can u show me proof, I need to know.

Denise I agree with you, I think Teresa is doing money laundering. 44 people in NJ just got busted for it. Hmmmm.

Jeana actually works hard for her money, but her kids are stuck up bitches.

Anonymous said...

Outside of "The Donald" how many "rich" people want to draw attention to themselves? Most these people were rich based upon their credit lines. When the money fairy godmother disappeared they all turned back into pumpkins.

Personally I don't consider someone rich until they have at least 10 million in liquid assets. So I wouldn't consider any of these people rich to being with.

Anonymous said...

Mama's posts remain as sharp as ever but the comments section has become celebrity dullsville.......sad to see it happen.

StPaulSnowman said...

After watching tonight's season premiere, I think Jeff Lewis is really, very, very funny. The planet is however, very lucky that he is not a physician.

Anonymous said...

"People Who Can't Manage Their Finances" or "Them Dumb Bitches from (insert town here).:

You'd think the PAY CHECK from the show would be fine and they still crap out.

Score another one for the tailor parks....


Alessandra said...

Good one, StPaulSnowman.

I agree that Bravo should vet folks better, though I have a feeling that people with actual money would not want to be on a reality tv show under any circumstances. Part of the thrill of watching the Housewives is seeing how nouveau their riches really are.

Anonymous said...

Guys, that's the point - who would want to watch boring people with a large investment fund make responsible financial decisions on TV? "NeNe's Bling and Brink of Bankruptcy" trainwreck of a show is a lot more interesting. However, I think they should introduce one sane housewive into each setting just to highlight crazy poor judgement of the rest of the cast.

Anonymous said...

I believe I read that Luann's Hampton's home was for sale. Jill and Bobby sold their Hampton's home prior to last season and have also listed their awful redecorated nightmare in the city. I think I also read that Ramona is also renting her Hamptons home this summer.

I think Luann and the Count own the townhouse, but i could be wrong. But I believe that financially, the NYC ladies are probably doing the best financially.

Has anyone heard how Vickie of OC is doing financially? These are hard times and she sells insurance, some of which people tend to cancel or at least reduce coverage during times like these. She was opening all those branch offices at a time when most folks were losing their jobs. I wonder how she's doing? I bet their second house still hasn't sold.


Anonymous said...

The Countess' former townhouse has been rented. The listing:http://www.corcoran.com/property/listing.aspx?Region=NYC&ListingID=1715463

Babe Parish said...

playing "catch up" today and loving all of the posts that i've missed! let me just say it here on your venerable hotbed blog of info, Mama, that i'm wishin n prayin the housewives franchise will wise up and haul their cookies to SCOTTSDALE arizona. with all the boutique owners and trophy wives, those beehawtchas would surely deliver on the drama and such. and you can bet that they wouldn't be faux nouveau riche! every lady that i've met out there has had a house (and rock on her finger) bigger and more vulgar than the one before her!