SELLER: Steve and Mechelle McNair
LOCATION: Bear Road, Nashville, TN
SIZE: 14,263 square feet, 9 bedrooms, 9.5 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It's been a ka-ray-zee couple of weeks for famous folks dying off or getting themselves killed under suspicious circumstances. There was, among others, Charlie's Angels' Farrah Fawcett and avant garde choreographer Pina Bausch who were both taken out by cancer as well as Academy Award winning actor Karl Malden and the dee-voon Mollie Sugden who died of being old. Then there was Michael "The White Lady" Jackson who perished for as yet unknown (but fishy sounding) reasons in his rented Holmby Hills mansion and most recently professional pig skinner Steve McNair was found dead of multiple gunshots wounds in a downtown Nashville condominium along with a 20-year of gurl, also dead, who is believed to have been the very married Mister McNair's gal pal.
Of course, Your Mama don't know nuthin' from a dead mackerel about professional football so we took to the internets to suss out some information about Mister McNair. From what we dug up Your Mama thinks it's a real damn pity this man's legacy is going to go down with him being murdered while in the company of his much younger extramarital gurlfriend because by all accounts Mister NcNair, who was oft called Air McNair, was a crack quarterback who spent ten successful seasons with the Tennessee Titans before being shuffled off to the Baltimore Ravens in 2006. Mister McNair used some of his riches to fund a foundation focused on doing good things for young people.
Anyhoo, according to loads of previous reports (and about twelve welcome emails from folks down Tennesee way), Mister McNair and his ladee-wifey Mechelle had previously listed their big ol' Nashville mansion which currently carries an ass-wonky asking price of $2,999,990. Lard children, why do some of these real estate people slap these crazy numbers on properties? Why not just call it three million? Seriously, why? Pleeze.
The McNair's brick built behemoth is what builders and real estate people sometimes call "Transitional" style. "Transitional" homes are meant to be a mixtures of traditional and contemporary styles. However, what that term suggests to Your Mama and a gazillions other architectural dee-zine snobs is a house of no particular architectural style or value. In the McNair's case we get a brick built and hodge-podged unholy hot mess of clickety-clack residential design littered with odd proportions, low ceilings, big bay windows and nearly a dozen dog house dormers that altogether give it a look of a suburban office building where Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter might get our chompers worked on iffin we lived in Arlington, VA. And that's just the exterior.
Let's do the numbers on this one children. Listing information and property records reveal that Mister and Missus McNair paid $1,599,000 for their Bear Road residence which sits on a 1.33 acre corner lot and in an area called the Woodmont Estates measures in at 14,263 square feet. There are, according to listing information, 26 rooms spread across two floors (plus a small basement) with 9 bedrooms and 9.5 poopers which surely kept Missus McNair bizzy bossing the minimum wage gurls charged with keeping the floors Swiffered and the terlits sparkling.
In addition to all the "formal" rooms, the McNair mansion also includes an almost countless number of secondary living and entertaining areas throughout the rambling u-shaped house including a movie thee-ay-ter, family room, recreation room, hobby room, several sitting rooms on the second floor, and a 54-foot long room above the 3-car garage that includes nearly an acre of light beige wall to wall, a peaked and sky lit ceiling, a grand piano and some swoopy faux-Louis-like chairs and sofas.
Listen puppies, it's not that Your Mama does not have anything to say about the disastrous day-core of the McNair mansion. Oh no, we do. We could most certainly go a blue streak about the peacock feathers in the dining room and all the wrought iron this and thats not to mention the obscene white sofa things in the master bedroom that make Your Mama's eyes roll right back in our head. However, although Your Mama's momma and her sister-pal Jennie spent many of the weekends of our rebellious youth nursing a bottomless box of blush wine, we were none the less raised up right. So we know it is not proper to speak ill of the day-core of the recently dead, particularly that of those who left this world under sordid or tragic circumstances.
The property is fully fenced with two drive gates connected by an arched driveway and a couple of parking pads. Due to its location on a corner and no doubt due to required set backs, the property is almost all front yard with just a small-ish back yard tucked into the back of the house where there is a rectangular swimming pool, a raised stone spa and a lot of concrete patio space for grillin' and chillin' with friends and family.
According to previous reports and property records, Mister and Missus McNair also have a big farm on the eponymous Air McNair Road in rural Collins, Mississippi which appears to Your Mama to be about 40 or 50 miles from Jackson, the Magnolia State capital.
In all seriousness, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter both wish Missus McNair and her children the courage for fortitude to deal with what is clearly a very complicated and calamitous situation.