Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Harry Morton Lists Condo at Huge Loss

SELLER: Harry Morton
LOCATION: Doheny Road, West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $2,895,000
SIZE: 1,845 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sierra Towers, the most prestigious and desired full service high rise in Los Angeles. Great views of the Sunset Strip, downtown and the ocean. Rebuilt from the ground up, this unit has Crestron full home automation, Poliform kitchen and the highest quality finishes.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Some people will know twenty-something year old Harry Morton as the lucky scion of L.A. based biznessman Peter Morton who co-founded the Hard Rock Cafe. Some will recall that the young man about town famously dated tabloid train wreck Lindsay Lohan before she decided to go lesbian. But what Your Mama imagines Mister Morton would like people to know is that he's a successful entrepreneur who not only owns the legendary Viper Room in West Hollywood, he's also the founder, president and CEO of the lurid and suggestively named Pink Taco restaurant chain.

Now listen chickens, before any of you people start screaming about your virgin ears and how tacky and family unfriendly it is to name a restaurant with a slang word for femail naughty bits, let Your Mama tell you we do not want to hear it. If this is all it takes to shock you and get your bug eyed dander up, well, it's time to pull that stick out your backside and get out of the house more often because this ain't 1951 anymore, children.

Anyhoo, property records show that back in January of 2007, just before all hell broke loose in the real estate markets, Mister Morton paid a whopping $3,500,000 for an 8th floor spread at the celebrity packed Sierra Towers building in West Hollywood, a building Your Mama's acid tongued friend Kenny Kissintell calls The Greys and Gays due to, he says, it's long history as a building filled with homosexuals and old people. Since the super slick condo with is currently listed with an asking price of $2,895,000 and it doesn't even take any flicking of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus to see that Mister Morton is going to take a ferocious financial hit in the neighborhood of one million clams. We certain some of the children are going to have some harsh words about Mister Morton's willingness and financial ability to give up a million clams just like that.

The 1,845 square foot corner unit was once owned by dee-lishusly freaky actor Vincent Gallo and was, according to property records, originally built as a 2 bedroom and 3 bathroom unit. However, according to listing information the condo is currently configured as a dee-luxe 1 bedroom and 2 pooper bachelor pad that can be converted back to a two-bedroom until in a jiffy.

A little birdie we'll call Linda Letterrip whispered in Your Mama's big ol' ear that after buying the condo Mister Morton embarked on a down to the studs renovation that transformed the glassy unit into his own personal vision of a sexy city slicker residence complete with a Crestron home automation system, wood floors so black they look blue, a sleek Poliform kitchen that Your Mama can assure the children cost as much as a fully loaded S Class Mercedes, and tucked up into where we imagine the second bedroom once was, Mister Morton and his team of nice gay decorators have installed a raised lounge/VIP area complete with a colossal custom sectional sofa and flat screen tee-vee.

Mister Morton's bedroom features a second flat screen tee-vee, wall to wall steel grey carpeting that we'd bet our long bodied bitches is a buttery soft silk number, a chunky dark wood bed room with hotel-style linens embroidered with a giant "M" just in case Mister Morton forgets who he is, and a couple of exquisitely glammy 1940s Edward Wormley-esque chairs.

The master bath is a study in cliché contemporary bathroom design in Los Angeles with etched glass panels, glass tile work and a wall mounted flat screen boob-toob for so that no one need miss a single minute of that delectably embarrassing guilty pleasure NYC Prep which is, hands down, the can't-stop-watching pinnacle of trashy reality television programming. Those poor children have humiliated themselves on national tee-vee and will now have to face the harsh music when they get up in college and everyone is snickering about the asinine and pompous manner in which they acted. But we digress...

Mister Morton's bachelor pad includes a slim terrace just big enough for a table and chairs for six and a little sitting area where Mister Morton can sip a gin and tonic and watch the lights glisten up and down Sunset Boulevard.

Your Mama was told by Linda Letterrip that Mister Morton is giving up the Sierra Towers (and a million smacker) to live up in the Bird Streets among celebs like Leo DiCaprio, Keanu Reeves and jazzy singer Michael Bublé.

Mister Morton leaves behind an equally glitzy and, dare we say, pickled assemblage of famous folks who own condos at the Sierra Towers including Elton John, Cher, Joan Collins and Diahann Carol.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really like this unit, its still pretty pricey. But sounds like he is losing some serious bling considering not only he paid $3.5 but also gutted and renovatedthe unit...he's gonna endup $1.5m in the hole by the time it sells and commisions are taken into account

Anonymous said...

Speaking of in the hole... Jeff Lewis keeps chopping the price on Valley Oak, he paid $1.71 m, spent atleast $300k renovating.. and now the house is at $2,295... by the time you throw in the carrying costs for now almost 2.5 years, commision, the nasty legal situation which resulting in him paying his neighbor for an easement etc... I doubt he's even going tobreak even on this endeavor

Anonymous said...

Why would someone so wealthy sell at a loss? Why not hang onto the property for a few years and see what happens, perhaps renting it in the meantime?

Anonymous said...

He's got so much money that he probably doesn't give a shit. When daddy is a billionaire a million dollars is pocket change to lose.

StPaulSnowman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
StPaulSnowman said...

From what 7:48 has written, I am looking forward to a special Flipping Out episode in which Mr. Plasticine laments the extinction of the flipping business in teary detail. There is no TV tonic better than Lewisian Schadenfreude.

:{} avg joe said...

many of these con artists, thieves, murderers have made millions if not billions in the last 30 years, esp in the last 10 they ramped up their profits by trillions, yes trillions, they by passing the ball back and forth tens of thousands of times caused real estate to go up 10000% and finding suckers to catch thousands of falling knives

so I highly highly doubt any of them are going broke any time soon

and I will be patiently waiting until real estate comes down another 90%, ..........we still have a long long long way to go

:{}

Veda P Forrester said...

looks like a commercial space--it's certainly furnished that way-- add the sexual ghosts of Lohan and Gallo and the views of unlovely buildings-- well, it ain't much.

Anonymous said...

correct me if im wrong but didnt he live in the bird sts before this at the house on the corner of thrasher and oriole?

Jimmy said...

Selling at that great a loss is certain grounds for confinement in a rubber room.

I see a lot of "celebrity" sales where they walk away with $$$$ (maybe they need it in these times); but to sell at such a loss????

Anonymous said...

http://www.weahomes.com/1_1_propertyDetails.asp?RN=17&PID=648&PS=63

Anonymous said...

Check out the bigger pics in the above link. Nice 'art' piece. 'Fuck the Steak'? Classy.

Anonymous said...

does anyone else see the bear?? Nice trip hazard at a cocktail party...

Anonymous said...

1. Terrible view looking at the commercial buildings at the intersection of Doheny Road and Sunset.

2. Terrible railing around the balcony.

3. Terrible traffic noise from level 8 with those Ferrari engines whizzing along Sunset.

Take the Bird Streets any day!

Anonymous said...

Fuck the Steak, a trip-hazard bear and a jar of vaseline by the bed ... this could be MY apartment....

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but if I were ever to go to the Pink Taco to eat (which I don't) the last thing I want to think about as I bite into my fish taco is cunnilingus.

Anonymous said...

12:38 - To be fair, I think that's a candle, not a jar of vaseline on the bedside table.
12:41 - Klassy comment.

Anonymous said...

12:41 is WAY too klassy to eat at the Pink Taco...

Anonymous said...

12:44 - Oh, whaaat??? You don't think that's what Mr. Harry Morton had in his 20 something mind when he named the place?? Doesn't mean I have to go along with his stupid exploitation. Dumb ass.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the steak most likely relates to the fact that his family money originates from the Morton Steak House Chain. His grandfather is Arnie Morton the founder. Not very appreciative of his step up in life.

Anonymous said...

Thanks daddy and grandad for the money.....

Anonymous said...

Sierra Towers?
Maybe that little D bag Chad from that real estate show on Bravo can sell it for him if he flips his hair enough.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link, anon. The pictures show that the place isn't as room as some of the select pictures would have you believe.

Maybe he should be more careful with his money--Pink Taco just closed in Scottsdale.

Anonymous said...

1:00pm - D bag Chad LMAO One of the other 'agents' in that crummy show (I think it was Josh who was busted for art theft??) referred to Chad as 'Botox' which I thought was a perfect moniker. Described Chad's demeanor perfectly.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the 8th floor feels secure during an earthquake, but in normal times it's not high enough to eliminate noise or have a great view. I don't know how tall this building is, but I'd take a higher floor for the money.

Kind of sick that a dead bear is the most organic thing in the apartment.

Hey Mama - new Atlanta housewives next week!

Anonymous said...

Oh it would be fun to see what happens to this place in an 8.5 earthquake right below Wilshire and Doheny. If God is in His heaven He will give us that pleasure soon. Think of all the Hollywood deadwood that would be cleared away.

Anonymous said...

I must say that I used to eat at the original Morton's on the southside of Chicago when I was at the U. of Chicago (late 50s, early 60s). Back then it was very affordable and the food was very very good. Then it got famous and very very expensive and spread all over. Sad change.

Anonymous said...

To the morons who are asking why he's selling at a loss...

He bought at the peak of the biggest fucking bubble ever.

It ain't coming back.

Anonymous said...

anon 3:19

first of all... ur an idiot if you think the prices will never come back ,of course its not coming next year... but in 10 years prices will be way higher than they are now... However to the why sells...when your as rich as Mr Morton, you're better off getting out for the loss and reinvesting in something with a higher investment yield than renting / holding the place until the market rebounds.

Anonymous said...

What no horrible zebra rug to compliment the bear rug?!?

Viva! said...

The problem is that it's STILL OVERPRICED.

Joan Collins bought her unit (on the 25th floor with much nicer NW views of the mountains and ocean) for $2.7 million last year. Granted, her places was initially listed in the $3 million range so she drove them down...but when you figure that Harry's pad is on the 8th and is listed for more than what JC bought on the 25th (same size unit, same everything) you have to scratch your head.

He seems like a bit of a dummy.

That said, LOVE Sierra Towers.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:19 hit it exactly right.

CockSearch2009 said...

I love Sierra Towers, too. But I always fear that all those stacked up floor slabs are ready to pankcake down into neat pile in the event of an earthquake.

Seriously, that building look like it was built to fall.

Wish my luck - I'm staying there next week.

(P.S., let's not forget that not only is Jr. the son of Hard Rock, he's also the grandson of Morton's Steakhouse. Restaurants in they blood, these Mortons.)

Anonymous said...

Damn it, I meant the select pics make it look more roomy than it really is. Seriously, the shot of the living area with the view looks like they photoshopped a lot of open floor behind those orange chairs. Deceptive!

o_nevermind said...

wasnt vincent gallo's apartment designed in cooperation with rem koolhaas? or was that another unit he owned in the building?

Anonymous said...

As for the price comparison with Joan Collins...Her unit is the pits, not renovated(poliform kitchen, fabulous AV system, all new bathroms, glass windows, etc.)
so you are not comparing apples to apples. Harry's decor may not please you, but the interior structure is all quality and new and gorgeous.
Been there, seen that.

Viva! said...

Have to disagree about Joan Collins' unit. She had it photograph published in HELLO! last year and it looked great to me. Much nicer views. Any unit can be renovated, but a view of commercial buildings is a view of commercial buildings.

alvin said...

"Why not hang onto the property for a few years and see what happens, perhaps renting it in the meantime?"

because in a few years, it will probably be worth even less.

let's see - per the MLS, there is a 2 bedroom for rent at $6700 on the 27th floor. Even though Harry's is on a lower floor, let's say he could get $8k, cause, i don't know, cause it's Harry. The HOA is almost $1900/month. Factor in Taxes ($40k/year), insurance, a manager (cause you know Harry isn't going to be taking calls at 2am to come fix the toilet), and he would net, what, maybe $25k a year by renting it out? And that's assuming he keeps it occupied year round with no vacancy or deadbeat tenants.

Or, he could cut his losses and just sell it. It's been on the market for a while, so who knows what the place will ultimately sell for, but let's say he opts for a quick sale and is able to get $2mm. He puts that in a 4% muni and, voila, he would net $80k per year, tax free, with no headache, and much less risk. In other words, even at $2mm, the apartment is likely over priced.

THAT is why you don't rent it out, or wait 10 plus years (i'll take the over on that one, btw) for the market to bounce back.

Anonymous said...

Gawd. If I wanted to read a bunch of morons talking out their asses about a market they know nothing about, I'd ask Average Joe for the link to his blog.

Anonymous said...

10:07 - you are so right. You could duplicate this interior in any unit. The higher floor will always be better. Less noise, less chance of an obstruction being built in front of you. Nicer views.

Anonymous said...

WHO???

Anonymous said...

11:06 must be one of those big-boobed no brain realturds...but don't fret dear, someday they'll have brain implants too!

Anonymous said...

2:25 - But alas, you still won't be able to afford one.

Anonymous said...

I'd also like to chime in and say that there is no way this place is worth "way more" in 10 years. The LAST socal bubble took 10 years to re-inflate, and that thing was 1/3 of the size of this one. This condo will be worth much less next year and the year after that. In 15-20 years, he could probably break even, but as others have pointed out, that's a stupid move.

Anonymous said...

Only a stupid move if your *opinion* comes to pass. Unless you are Miss Cleo, that is subjective. If you are Miss Cleo, Dionne wants her bag of weed back.

Miss Cleo said...

Beotch wrote a bum check. I smoked the weed.

Anonymous said...

The problem is he has no more money and he needs to sell even if loses a million.