Monday, June 22, 2009

Tater Salad Selling in Montecito Too

SELLER: Ron White
LOCATION: E. Mountain Drive, Montecito, CA
PRICE: $3,595,000
SIZE: 2,290 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This property is an A+ location in Montecito's Golden Quadrangle and is surrouned by major estates. Situated on a private meandering drive by the San Ysidro Ranch is this beautifully remodeled single level home with stunning ocean and island views on 3.25 acres. This home is comprised of three bedrooms all with views to the gardens and the ocean beyon

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today Your Mama discussed the over-moulded mansion of scotch sweating comedy man Ron White and his wifey Barbara in Soo-wah-nee, GA which they listed in late 2008 and currently carries an asking price of $3,495,000. As it turns out, one of Ronnie and Barb's other posh properties is also on the market, this one in the hoity toity hills above Montecito, CA.

Property records show that Barbara and Ron White–who the children now know goes by the nose scrunching and eye watering nickname of Tater Salad–snatched up his Santa Barbara hideaway in May of 2006 for $3,750,000 which means, according to our bejeweled abacus, that the 3.25 acre spread is listed for $255,000 less than Mister and Missus Salad paid for the place.

Located near the newly rehabbed and quietly famous San Ysidro Ranch and near the top of a winding private drive lined with much more impressive and far more expensive properties, the west coast White house sits on 3.25 hillside acres and measures a relatively modest 2,290 square feet according to property records and includes 2 ocean view bedrooms and 2 poopers in addition to the master bedroom that opens through three dark wood-framed sliding doors to a private terrace with long views over the tree tops and to the Pacific Ocean.

The living room features a Saltillo tile floor, a wood burning fireplace, glass doors that open to a Sunset view terrace, soft pea green walls that probably make everyone look like they're about the vomit and a number of brown leather sofas and glass and wrought iron tables that give the place a distinct generic quality. The walls in the garden view dining room and the ocean view gore-may kitchen are painted various shades of pea green, aqua and tur-quawze which we can only assume are meant to mimic the various shades of azure of the ocean.

The kitchen, while not to our taste style wide, does feature a huge window over the sink which we're certain Svetlana would appreciate and the appliances are all sufficiently high grade to justify the three plus million clam asking price. While we do acknowledge that the work island is a handy dandy piece of kitchen equipment and we are beside ourselves with glee not to see a dirty pot rack having above it, the carved corbels are way to country and way to faux-elegant for what is otherwise a wall distributed kitchen.

In addition to the covered terrace where Your Mama could happily whittle away the evening flipping through gossip glossies, sipping gin and tonics and watching the sun set while our nasty pussy Sugar purrs in our lap, a chain link fence surrounded flat lawn area makes for an excellent dog run for out long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly.

Your Mama is going to leave the children to speculate and gossip about why Mister and Missus Tater Salad would list two fancy houses (one at less than they paid) in a lackluster market such a short time after purchasing them.

25 comments:

Madam Pince said...

Ron met Barbara because she was the interior designer for Jeff Foxworthy and his wife. Both his houses make me question her training.

I 'spect Tater and the missus are divorcing.

Anonymous said...

It is an attractive space. Hate the wall colors. I'm not a fan of all-white interiors, but i'd think if you want to highlight your views, you'd tame down the wall color. And yes, I'd agree that divorce is probably the reason. Or, he could just need the cash.

Anonymous said...

this decorator should be imprisoned. But I like this house much better--and not just because it's not in Georgia.

Anonymous said...

O.K. - shoot me, but I love the colors. Kind of reminds me of being inside a Maxfield Parrish painting.

Anonymous said...

Smells like divorce to me too. I doubt he needs the money, all of those Blue Collar comedy guys are rolling in it, especially Larry. It just goes to show that stupidity pays. All of those blue collar guys are fucking idiots and degenerate white trash losers yet stupid rednecks continue to pay to go see them. They are so fucking stupid, they can't even speak properly or put a sentence together. They all suck. Nice house in Montecito, not so much in Georgia. See, I can still find the positive in a sea of negative.

Anonymous said...

These pictures look like they were photoshopped to add dramatic shadowing which makes the house look my cozy and comfortable. It just doesn't look real.

Anonymous said...

the very phrase "Jeff Foxworthy's decorator" should have been warning enough

Anonymous said...

GACK...DIVORCE...ARF

need I say more?

Anonymous said...

Are these comedians sort of the equivalent of all those strange doffus-dads on tv sitcoms? Really it seems like another world-- never really heard of any of them.

angeleyes said...

I looked for a photo of him, and came across his mug shot. He was arrested in Florida last September for drug possession. Scary

The Preppy Pauper said...

Did Home Depot have a sale on that god awful color of green. They slapped it on everywhere in the damn house.

:{} avg joe said...

I have one word

MADOFF !!!!!!!!!!!!

He actually had billions funneled out of CA, the SEC just charged another fund guy in BH that was a secret account marketer for Madoff, unbelievable

So he hit LA, SF, NY, Miami,

what is next ???????

well look at the bright side

He is the only one who can bring down real estate in value a negative 90%

The only one

:{} avg joe said...

I have one word

I AM AN IDIOT !!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually can't count. That is why I say I have billions in funnel cakes. TMZ just laughed when I wanted the photographer to film me leaving a club in BH. They thought I was Paris Hilton's bitch, unbelievable...don't they know I'm Perez Hilton's bitch????????

So he hits me in LA, SF, NY, Miami, then tweets about it.

what is next ???????

well look at the bright side

He is the only one who can bring me back down to earth when he hits me hard.

The only one

Cookie Jill said...

Thought I saw him lunching at the Chase Restaurant the other week. Didn't know he was a neighbor...kinda.

:{} avg joe said...

That last comment was not me

BE OFF YOU MADDOFF POND SCUM YOU ARE NOT WANTED HERE

I SHALL TAKE MY WAND AND MAKE YOU INTO BORIC SOUP WITH POND MOSS

I HAVE A NEW NAME FOR YOU

BSPM

Anonymous said...

3.25 acres and that's the patch of grass you get?

angeleyes said...

Here is Ron's San Antonio home that Mama mentioned he also owns in the previous article. Selling off everything except his Texas property could be another indication of an intention to divorce, in an effort to insure that property division falls under Texas law. Recall the sneaky way David Saperstein lured his then wife Suzanne to Houston, and then served her with divorce papers as soon as the plane landed.

NewYorkQueer said...

Dear Mama We can all spell di-V-orce here, the smell of it fairly bounces of the pictures of this aquatic themed masterpiece. I feel feel the pain in my chins from running into that piece of wrought iron garden furniture smack in the middle of the living room, and some one needs to explain to Mrs. Salad (thank you so much for that chuckle this morning BTW) about flat screen T and V's and that "entertainment centers" are no longer needed.

:{} avg joe said...

That last comment was not me

BE OFF BERNIE MADDOFF. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS NOT WANTED HERE

I SHALL TAKE MY WAND MY MOMMA MADE ME WITH A STICK & TIN FOIL AND MAKE MYSELF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR MY BANK

I HAVE A NEW NAME FOR MYSELF

PC4A

Anonymous said...

Oh geeze.. whoever is impersonating ave joe, the 'joke' has gone far enough and you're the only one who's enjoying it. Please let it go.

:{} avg joe said...

WHO IS IMPERSONATING ME ??????

:{} avg joe said...

:{} avg joe

BSPM is a sore loser

just sayin

ha ha h a

Anonymous said...

That home in Texas is his Mothers home. Yes Ron did buy it for the old bag. But she had to give up her SS check each month. His Mother does not really like Ron, she just likes the money. When he's in town she will not even let him stay there. His father is dead and has been for many years. Ron's father always claimed he was a loser. That is one of the many reasons why Ron has mental and drug issue problems he has.

Anonymous said...

It will take another 3,595,000 to remove the cigar smoke and smell from the house. This guy is a chimney!

Anonymous said...

I think Ron White is broke. His jet is for sale too! Must be the dope habit.