Friday, June 19, 2009

Olivia Newton John's New Xanadu

BUYER: Olivia Newton John and John Easterling
LOCATION: Lighthouse Drive, Jupiter, FL
SIZE: 5,500 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: On blue water, no fixed bridges, just a few doors from the Jupiter Inlet, dockage, on over an acre of property, magnificent views of the Jupiter Lighthouse.

YYOUR MAMAS NOTES: Sometime in 2005 Olivia Newton John's man-friend Patrick McDermott went missing under suspicious circumstances. The poor dear was like a rowboat without an oar until she met and got Physical with herbal supplement pusher John Easterling who swept the Aussie icon off her feet and right out of Malee-boo to the swampy state of Florida.

In late 2007, long before decamping for the other coast, Miz Newton John listed her Malee-boo estate with an asking price of $14,000,000. There were no takers and eventually the priced was sliced and diced to $11,495,000. In December of 2008 the property was finally sold to for an undisclosed amount of money that we heard (but can not confirm) was in the ten million smackers range.

Shortly thereafter, in February of 2009, there was all sorts of scuttlebutt on the gossip glossies on on the tabloid talk programs about Miz Newton John and Mister Easterling backing out of a deal to purchase a $2,250,000 house in Tequesta, FL. There was talk of lawsuits and all sides claimed innocence, blah blah blah. That bit of legal brouhaha is, apparently, pending.

Then we started getting all sorts of email from fans of the newly married Miz Newton John wanting to know where she was and what she was buying and what kind of damn terlit paper she uses. Well children, as is often the case, we knew not a thing. That is, until today when we received a covert communique from a Flawreeduh Fannie who hooked us up with a recent article in something called the TC Palm (no link to the article that we could locate) which reported that Mizz Newton John and Mister Easterling finally found a house to buy after many months of searching high and low.

The house, according to the article and also according to the listing we managed to scare up on the interweb, sits on a 1-plus acre water front lot in the Jupiter Inlet Colony community. The light blue house measures approximately 5,500 square feet according to property records (and 7,000 square feet according to the TC Palm) and includes 4 bedroom and 4 bathrooms.

The house was last listed at $4,200,000 and the TC Palm people reported they couple are paying somewhere in the $4.1 million range. Information on the property is somewhat slim but we were able to glean from the listing and report that there is dockage for a boat or two, garaging for three automobiles, has a tin roof and is dog friendly. There are split bedrooms (whatever that means) including a master with a Roman tub (lahrd help us all) and at least one walk in closet. The living room is large with a vaulted wood beamed ceilings that rise a parapet like space with windows which we imagine help to suck out the hot sticky air in the summertime. The kitchen looks country with green cabinets, plate racks and granite counter tops.

Records show the seller is John Zuccarelli, the third term mayor of Tequesta or Jupiter or some other town around there, bought the property in June of 1995 for just $730,000, rebuilt it to be his Barbie dream house and sold it on at a large profit to Olivia Newton John for her new Xanadu.

Now that all you Olivia fans and super fans know that she's settling into Tequesta for the long haul, stop emailing Your Mama wanting to know about her whereabouts. And stay away from her new house too because I can promise you this ladee does not want some ignoramus standing outside her gates, ringing her bell, waving a frayed and glossy photo of her from Grease in the air and hoping for an damn autograph.

Now then. We're through. Through with talking about Miz Newton Johns real estate doings and through with the day because it's time to load up the big BMW and head out to Your Mama's daddy's ranch in the middle of Nowhere, CA for a weekend of gin and tonic drinking by the pool.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Split bedrooms means the master bedroom is separate from the secondary bedrooms... so you don't have to hear your guest or kids going at it while spending the night.

Anonymous said...

EWWWW.........FLORIDA HAS COCKROACHES YOU COULD PUT A SADDLE ON AND WAY TOO MANY REDNECKS........SHE'LL BE SORRY!

Madam Pince said...

Those kitchen cabinets look like they sailed straight off Home Depot's shelves. Otherwise, it's a nice house.

angeleyes said...

Great article Mama, thanks so much. It looks like this home and property are laid out compound style, but it's hard to tell for sure from the pictures. Jupiter Florida is a very lovely area with broad, pristine beaches, and a number of other celebrities to keep Olivia from feeling out of her element. I'm sure she'll be extensively redecorating so there's no use in commenting on the decor, although I do hope she'll completely gut the grey and pink kitchen, yuck.

Anonymous said...

I feel itchy after looking at those photos. And hot.

Anonymous said...

sadly, i think one of the reason olivia probably liked this house are the green and pink kitchen

Anonymous said...

She moved in just enough time for the lovely hurricane season. Man I love Florida!

She must have tax problems. That is about the ONLY reason to move to that alligator and kudzu infested swampville.

Say hello to Burt and his lovely Branson style theater down there.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone decipher what the moron who wrote this is talking about? If you are going to keep a blog at least learn some basic grammar.

Viva! said...

Anonymous 10:59,

Don't talk shit about our Mama...we are a loyal bunch. Our Mama can say whatever she wants however she wants to say it. Dammit.

Olivia's house, I actually enjoy it. Compound style, if you can afford it, is the way to go. I also enjoy Jupiter, Florida quite a bit.

Anonymous said...

Clearly your the moron 10:59, because everyone else understands but you.

Go suck AVG JOE's cock and die face down in the gutter where you belong.

Anonymous said...

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2009/jun/18/olivia-newton-john-and-hubby-buy-home-jupiter-inle/

Dr Cooter might need to administer a colonic to get Mama back to her usual self...wrong Deepak, no links

Anonymous said...

10:59 needs to start a blog, and provide us with the link to demonstrate how it 'should' be done.

Until then, you'll have to forgive us for dismissing your comments outright, and judging your motives with a very dubious eye.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Mama, we missed you!

I agree with Viva! that this is a very nice property, and would prefer a compound to a ginormous mansion any day.

Love your unique blend of informative property descriptions and entertaining commentary. Dee-lish!

Anonymous said...

Leave our Mama alone. Creative license with the language is one of her signatures and we like it.
Also, wouldn't live in Florida if you paid me.

Anonymous said...

Hideous property. That she paid 4.1 for it, in this market, leads me to think ONJ is just fucking stupid.

Anonymous said...

I live in Florida, but have also lived on the eastern seaboard of NY, both sides of the Gulf of Mexico, and the San Francisco Peninsula of Californa too. The stereotyping of Florida by some here is lopsided. There are numerous very nice areas and some that aren't so nice, just like Californa. We have alligators and you have rattlesnakes. Without a doubt, Californians enounter and are attacked by their predators substantially more often than Floridians are by theirs. We have hurricanes, and you have earthquakes which pose every bit as serious a natural disaster risk. It gets humid here in the summer yes, but Florida beaches are spectacular, in a class by themselves. You take the good with the not so good no matter where you live and deal with it.

Anonymous said...

7:38, you can't tell very much about this property from the limited glimpse provided by the photos. Nothing In Jupiter is 'hideous'. You can take that to the bank.

Anonymous said...

7:43 - It isn't anyone seriously disparaging Florida. That's just the resident idiot troll trying to start sh*t.

Anonymous said...

Very nice of you to chime in on a reasonable note, and unexpected. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

10:59 Mama's grammar is just fine. It is good enough so she can take light hearted liberties with it, something leaden headed you could certainly not do with yours.

Anonymous said...

You can have Florida and it's bugs. We see no bugs in our L.A. home and I have never seen a snake in L.A. Why do people have screens over their pools and patios in Florida?

Anonymous said...

You get the last word. LA is just sooo much better than everyone and everywhere else, and it's residents never tire of trumpeting it. How you ever got the reputation of being so obnoxious and superficial is one of the great 20th century mysteries.

Angeleeno said...

Clearly wherever it is you're from grows them bitchy and judgmental so I guess that makes you about even with all us obnoxious and superficial freakos in LA.

As for ONJ's new house...meh. Nice living room but my cup of tea. As for Jupiter, never been there, but if a house like this costs $4.1M then it's likely to be a pretty swank area regardless of what its detractors might say.

Anonymous said...

Slick maneuver there. Gotta hand it to you, so you WIN.

Anonymous said...

You're all wrong. Manhattan is THE only place worth living.

Anonymous said...

She must have bought it for lot value - the dump looks like a tear-down...

Anonymous said...

It is gorgeous! Manhattan sucks, just like that God-awful place Joan Rivers is selling, the epitome of gawdiness.

Nancy said...

7:43 You've never lived in Southern CA. The weather is unparalleled, and I've lived in Philly, Jersey Shore and Gulf Coast of FL. No bugs (or snakes!), low humidity, never went below the 40's and I didn't even need AC (a mile from the Pacific). From a weather standpoint, it was the best. I'm dying to move back....Laguna Hills area.

Anonymous said...

Who cares?!?

Anonymous said...

According to Zillow, the house was built in 1997, so the previous owner bought the lot and built the house. It's not too difficult to find that out.

Jupiter is an extremely nice place, btw.

Anonymous said...

Stupid buffoons. At least we get checks in the mail in Florida, not I.O.U's.

As for the house, it is typical north 'South Florida' style. Ugly, but I suppose if you like a pseudo-Bahamian style compound, then that's the ticket.

Anonymous said...

Florida .. she'll be sorry... and NICE ONE MAMMA about the Only Olivia freeks walking around her 'hood looking for her. Poor Olivia - so deserving of mainstream success, instead she has 200 intense fans who follow her every move - leave the poor lady alone or she'll bop you w/ her fly swatter, (that she'll always have in hand down in that area!)

Melitha

Anonymous said...

Considering she lives part time in Australia, is married to someone who takes extensive trips to the Amazon every year, has a daughter in L.A., and is still fairly active in the "industry", I don't think they'll be spending a whole lot of time at this house each year anyway.

Karen said...

Mama, Nowhere, Ca is where I live. Whose your Daddy?

Anonymous said...

to all Only Olivia "staff" leave her alone your own percieved self importance is all through guilt - oversized donaion checks etc ... a real donation would be done w/ grace and quietly.

Why do they think they "own' her?
leave the lady be.

melitha

Anonymous said...

I have lived here all my life. They make bug spray for cockroaches... and there are rednecks everywhere