Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Cape Cod Crib Of Bobby Farrelly For Sale

SELLER: Bobby Farrelly
LOCATION: Starboard Lane, Mashpee MA
PRICE: $3,400,000
SIZE: 2,701 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Newer construction (2000) in Popponesset! Beautiful panoramic views of Nantucket Sound. Three decks provide Cape Cod Sun throughout the day. Wide plank walnut floors throughout the home. You will love the upstairs family room with custom stone fireplace, window seat and plenty of room for entertaining! Large fireplaced master suite with waterfront deck. Finished ceramic tiled basement with great storage and separate game room and full bath...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day Your Mama received a covert communique from Vlad the Revealer indicating that filmmaker Bobby Farrelly–one half of the famous film making Farrelly Brothers–recently listed his Cape Cod crib with an asking price of $3,400,000.

The Misters Farrelly have carved out a lucrative if not particularly dignified niche for themselves on the silver screen using slapstick terlit humor and depicting decidedly inappropriate uses for bodily fluids. The children will recall the brothers Farrelly wrote, directed and produced comedic treasures such as There's Something About Mary, Kingpin and Dumb and Dumber. They are, according to recent reports, currently hard at work on a revival of The Three Stooges starring Jim Carrey, Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro, a sure to be cinematic tour de force Your Mama can assure the children we will not see despite our own somewhat embarrassing appreciation of terlit humor.

Property records show that Mister Farrelly and his wife Nancy purchased the .29-acre waterfront lot in Mashpee, Mass in January of 1999 for $792,500. Listing information reveals the house was built in 2000, so Your Mama thinks it is safe to assume the Farrellys are the folks responsible for the architecturally wonky wood shingled Cape Cod style house that sits atop a rock revetment and offers panoramic views of the perfectly picturesque Nantucket Sound.

Listing information indicates the two story house measures 2,701 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a ceramic tiled basement where there is a game room and a full bathroom. No offense to the Farrellys, but a ceramic tiled basement sounds horrid, more like the sort of place one might do an autopsy rather than push balls around on a felted table with skinny sticks.

Immediately upon entering the front door, which opens directly into the window wrapped living/dining room, one is confronted with the unpleasantly cliche nautical day-core that has been perpetrated on every inch of this house. If it is not white, a shade of blue or made of wood, it simply does not belong in the self-consciously casual decorative scheme of the Farrelly's seaside getaway. Listen puppies, we love a seaside house as much as the next person, and we're certainly no opposed to referencing geographic location with color, but surely it's possible to do up a house at the beach without conforming to this narrow notion of what constitutes beach house day-core.

None the less, any buyer is not buying the cohesive but bo-rring day-core and despite the nerve-wracking front facade with that upsetting pair of out of scale oval windows flanking the French doors on the second level, there are plenty of features about the house that can be appreciated such as the beauteous walnut wood floors that have been laid down throughout the house, the three fireplaces which take the misty chill off early summer mornings, the manner in which the main living spaces open up to the water side of the house and the second floor family room which features a stone fireplace, a small water view balcony just large enough for a couple of people to stand and smoke a late night doobie, and a lavishly long window seat built in below a long wall of paned windows looking out over what we're positive is a mesmerizing vista.

The grounds include off street parking for 6 cars, three decks, a professionally landscaped yard with decorative lighting and a good sized patch of lawn and access to a path that leads to a sandy beach.

Property records indicate the Farrellys also own a 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom home at nearby Duxbury, Mass as well as property in Chilmark on Martha's Vineyard which they purchased in November of 2003 $2,014,706. Clearly the Farrelly family does not like to stray too far from home.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

nantucket nest? this house is on the main land. hmmm. it has views of nantucket but not on the island.

Island Girl said...

Mama, Mashpee is on the mainland, on Cape Cod. Not on Nantucket.

Anonymous said...

i love their chilmark house!!!

Anonymous said...

I found "Dumb and Dumber" quite amusing and thoroughly enjoyable; especially the moment when the rare snow owl was offed by a stray champagne cork. This in spite of the fact that I have a Ph.D and two degrees from Cantab (UK). So much for their "low" humor.

Your Mama said...

You're right children...we amended to reflect its Cape Cod location.

The Preppy Pauper said...

I could think of a lot worse place to hang for the summer. C'mon Ducky, pack the retro bicycles, the madras patch shorts and topsiders. We're summering on the Cape!

Anonymous said...

Lovely lot, right on the water with a nice yard, to boot. Out here in California, you usually get one or the other (beachfront vs. yard).

Anonymous said...

I like it. The house is ugly on the outside sure. And yes that ugly blue frabic needs to go but its still a good house.

Anonymous said...

Good design rule of thimb - when in doubt, choose symetric. The roofline is funny, but can be fixed (and the gaudy extra windows closed down), but it is impossible to move the door to the center, so the house will always look a little lopsided. Otherwise, it's a good location.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful setting. Interiors are cliche but okay. Front facade is awful and looks like it was designed by a homebuilder's "designer", not a quality architect. The oval windows are horrible.

Billy said...

Look they hired the decorator from Sears.

angeleyes said...

Interesting combination of using quality materials on the one hand, and what can only be architectural planning done on the cheap on the other hand. I never really thought about it before, but here's a perfect example of where to and where not to cut costs if need be. Appliances and fixtures, etc. are a relatively easy thing to change; architectural design, not so much. Besides the design flaws already mentioned, there's not a single interior area of this house that dosen't look somewhat cramped - inexcusable for a new millenium built multi-million dollar property.

pch said...

They managed to foul up what is normally a very straightforward formula. The Massachusetts coastline is littered with decent variations on the shingled beach house theme. Unless a buyer is particularly keen on this specific location, and it's nowhere near my first choice, there's no reason to consider the place.

Linda Merrill said...

I live in Duxury, MA. I need to scope out their home here. Their childhood home is a lovely old house overlooking a river.

thevinylvillager said...

I agree with the other poster...without the remarks I might have thought that the strange facade was the result of an old house being made over...but its really just sort of amateurish. I smell a builder with a bootlegged copy of SoftPlan or something thinking he's created something here.

The interiors are overdone...but not terribly so IMHO. The piped pieces could stay, just swap out the blue and white patterns and it might be doable.

Anonymous said...

Wonky architecture indeed!

Nice view, but in my opinion, Mashpee and most of the Inner Cape sucks. I won't bother driving across the Sagamore unless the final destination is beyond Orleans.

Anonymous said...

I think you should stick to the cape cod canal 12:24

Anonymous said...

ya know, truly i though that price was low for nantucket. seriously if it was on the island of nantucket, this would be a 5-7 mil property... scary....

Anonymous said...

that first pic--very cheap-looking facade--bad proportions, cluttered with cheap details; interior meant for renting; very very uninteresting house

lil' gay boy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lil' gay boy said...

"...like the sort of place one might do an autopsy rather than push balls around on a felted table with skinny sticks."

...unless you're talking the back room at the Mineshaft on anorexia night...

;-)

Truly fugly, but at least consistently so ––– inside & out. And the 'hood leaves me cold; too close to many other fugly houses for my taste (talk about deceptive photography).

It reminds me of when PCH characterized a house's façade as looking like it had a stroke; this one resembles The Elephant Man, with the left side a misshapen, tumorous mass...

"I am not an animal... I am... a beach house!"

Anonymous said...

The upstairs balcony could be enlarged and the oval window on the right removed - it would help.

LOVE the kitchen & dining areas. The rest of the house looks like they crammed a few too many cushions in it.

Having never been to that area of the country I can't comment on the neighborhood, but the house looks tre quaint and the view is lovely.

Croquet anyone?

commentator said...

Since I am not a local, just out of curiosity, if this house which sits right on the water is listed at $3.4M, what would a similar house just down the street and 4-8 houses from the ocean list for?

Thanks for the local info!

Anonymous said...

440-- this house is "quaint"?

Anonymous said...

I've spent every summer of my life in New Seabury (my parents have a house in Bright Coves on the water) and Popponesset is part of New Seabury. It's beautiful. The Krafts (own the Pats) have a few houses right nearby, as did Larry Bird and a few other famous people. It's a lovely area and although the house looks a bit wonky, the overall vibe is perfect Cape Cod.

Anonymous said...

All that money and the fucking microwave is on a cart. That's a deal breaker ladies.

Anonymous said...

There should be a garage. All that ocean spray....

Anonymous said...

looks like the kind of shore area where the Stugots would be anchored, blasting Sinatra and Dean Martin over the water.

NewYorkQueer said...

Another disaster of thoughtless design and on the cheap new construction and a local boy should have known better. The roofline, the windows, even the siding seems wrong. Having said that I can smell the sea just looking at the pictures fortunately there are a lot of other beautiful waterfront properties littering the cape these days.

Anonymous said...

Call me crazy, or are those trash cans in the last photo? I cannot understand when photos are taken of any property for sale, why ugly plastic trash receptacles would be in any shot. Sadly, I see it too often, ranging from ghetto to multi million dollar properties.

The oval windows are very unpleasant.

Lori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.