Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mish Mash Thursday

The bits and pieces stories win the morning:

1.
It seems that wildly rich rapper 50 Cent has his panties in a bunch and is suing mad over his Farmington, CT real estate white elephant that he bought in September of 2003 for $4,100,000 from the ex-wife of squeaky voiced boxer Mike Tyson.

According to recent reports, sometime prior to Mister Cent purchasing the 52-room monster manse he hired engineering firm BVH Integrated Services to give the sprawling 48,000+ square foot house the once over and provide an estimate of costs for repairs to the roof, decks and other things. BVH estimated the property needed about $500,000 in repairs, which is really just pin money to a man like Mister Cent who reportedly pocketed around $400,000,000 from a well timed investment in Glaceau, the beverage company in which he owned (or owns, we don't know) a 10% share.

However, in addition to about $3,000,000 in voluntary upgrades and renovations, Mister Cent claims the house required another $3,000,000 (or so) in repairs, repairs that he thinks should have been included in BVH's estimate. So, in 2006, three years after buying the property, Mister Cent was so pissed about having to spend so much moo-lah bringing the 19 bedroom beast up to par that he filed a lawsuit against BVH. The parties have been testifying this week and will continue to do so into next.

If the children will put on their thinking caps they will recall that Mister Cent hoisted his 17.6-acre estate onto the market in 2007 with a ridiculous asking price of $18,500,000 which was later whittled down to $12,000,000. Not surprisingly, there were no takers for this architecturally troubled hotel sized house with its 3,500 square foot disco, six kitchens, 37 terlits, Gucci themed billiard room, swimming pool with a Playboy style grotto and indoor shooting range.

Here's the real problem for Mister Cent as Your Mama sees it. No matter how the law suit turns out, he paid 4.1 million clams for the place and spent a reported six million more on repairs and renovations which means he's into the property for more than 10 million smackers. But puppies, who is going to pay ten million bucks for an over-sized mansion about which the BVH inspector testified is "not a high-quality, mansion-quality house. It was not built that way. It was relatively inexpensive construction." Oh. Ouch.

Mister Cent revealed on Tuesday that the property is no longer for sale and if Your Mama looked into our crystal ball we'd guess that Mister Cent will be staying put in his big house or selling the place off at loss once the suit is settled. But then again, what do we know and do we even care?

2.
Uh oh. Another Housewife is biting the real estate dust and this time it's Real Housewives of Orange County's resident real estate agent Jeana Keough who has reportedly had a Notice of Default filed on her casa in Coto de Caza, CA.

Apparently Miz Keough carries a hefty $1,300,000 mortgage on her primary residence and recently had two claims filed against the property, one for $37,538 in unpaid mortgage payments and another for $3,732 by the Coto de Caza homeowners association, presumably for unpaid community fees.

Miz Keough, who owns three additional properties in addition to her large home, is reportedly trying to do a loan modification and to qualify for a loan modification the mortgage and taxes must be in arrears. She went on to say, "The realty business is so bad." Yes, well, she's right. It is, partick down in that part of Orange County. However, while Your Mama never likes to see anyone tossed out on their reality tee-vee keister, it might have been a good idea for Miz Keough to save some damn money rather than buy her spoiled teenage children Audis and BMWs. Hindsight is 20/20 ain't it?

In other Housewife real estate news, the NY Post reported today that dee-vorcing Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has made her annual pilgrimage from the family's rented townhouse on Manhattan's East 62nd Street to her Bridgehampton beach house where she will reside for the summer. Where Miz Manners will go after Labor Day is unknown but at least she'll be on the boob-toob making her own money so she can afford her own apartment and not be living up under the same roof as her cheating spouse. Or, maybe, she and the unnaturally thin Bethenny Frankel can get a place together, share expenses, swap clothes and do a whole Sex In The City single gal roommate sort of thing.

3.
Back in July of 2008 Your Mama discussed the London house of former cat walker Elle Macpherson which she had listed for sale with an asking price of £9,500,000, a figure that at the time converted to a blistering $18,993,540 US.

After first shaving the asking price to £8,950,000, the Aussie born model turned bizzy bizness ladee again reduced the asking to £7,500,000, a figure that our bejeweled abacus indicates converts to $12,260,250 US at today's rates. That children, is a sere-ee-uhs mark down in real estate troubled London.

As an aside, the children might get a kick out of knowing that Miz Macpherson was once married to photographer Gilles Bensimon who is the same famous fashion photographer to whom New York City Housewife and (alleged) boyfriend beater Kelly Killoran Bensimon was married.

4.
London based former models aren't the only famous folks having to slash asking prices on their lavish and luxe properties. Oh no. Not by a long shot. The soon to be dee-vorced Oscar winning ack-tor Mel Gibson–who recently knocked up his new ladee friend out of wedlock which we're pretty sure is frowned upon by the Pope–has slashed the asking price of his Greenwich, CT estate from $39,500,000 to a still staggering $29,750,000.

The property includes 15 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms, formal gardens, a swimming pool, stable, staff houses, a log cabin, tennis court and private pond. Unfortunately for Mister Gibson, he listed his meticulously maintained Tudor style pile just at the very time all the hedge fund money that propped up Greenwich's real estate market dried up.

5.
Back in Los Angeles, Your Mama hears a may-jer, multiple parcel property in Pacific Palisades is about to be put up for sale with an asking price in excess of $30,000,000. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly it will be shopped around off-market for a while before it arrives on the open market. We'd also bet those same long bodied bitches that the property details will be leaked to the Wall Street Journal before it's put on the open market for the rest of us plebes and real estate gossips to fawn over. This is how these things get done chickens.

21 comments:

brian in seattle said...

Oh, I wanna guess #5 Mama. Is it Steven Spielberg?

angeleyes said...

50 Cent made his real estate bed, so I'd say his decision to get used to sleeping in it was a wise one. As for his lawsuit, renovations almost always cost at least 50% more and take twice as long as initial estimates, emphasis on 'estimates', which are not to be confused with guarantees. He's not going to win this one. Welcome to the real world Mister Cent.

How interesting that Jeana Keough of all people is defaulting on her mortgage and even neglecting to pay her association fees. She always gave the impression that money was no object for her, and I always kind of wondered about that because as a business woman, she must know that no matter how much you have, it's always an object if you care about hanging onto it. Apparently she believed her own bologna.

LMAO @ your Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and Bethenny Frankel 'Sex In The City' single gal roommate TV idea Mama. It actually sounds like it would make good TV fodder, or at least as good as it gets in the increasingly depressing wasteland of television programming. Sincere thanks to channels like History, and National Geographic, etc. which prevent it from becoming completely mind numbing.

I'm stunned that Mel Gibson is fathering an out-of-wedlock baby. There goes a lifetime of supposedly setting a good Catholic example for his legitimate children out the window. When that certain percentage of men go through their mid-life crisis, everyone better duck.

Mama, I'd be so lost without your snarkily truthful commentary, seriously. Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Elle was never going to get £9.5M for her house ... It was on the market in 2006 for £6.5M so to get £3M more in 24 months is unlikely ... I guess her timing was just bad, had it not been for the global recession it probably would have been snapped up within a month or two ...

It's only just hit the market again, it was 'In Contract' for quite sometime but this seems to have fallen through ... She moved to a new property last year though.

JLo said...

I just don't really understand why it is that all of these supremely rich celebs are even trying to sell these homes at any loss. I understand that they can afford to take the losses, but then surely that means they can afford to keep their properties up and running until the market picks back up!
And I'm not surprised in the least to hear that Mike Tyson built his house as cheaply as possible...what does surprise me is that Fitty is allowing himself to be talked into unnecessary lawsuits that he has no chance of winning. Control your own pockets mister or you'll be turning to Michael Jackson for advice!

The Preppy Pauper said...

Mama, my mama was right:
"It's not what you make, it's what you keep". I think the common thread in these mish mash updates is how foolishly come celebrities are with their money. Apparently some are so foolish they may end up homeless. I'm trying not to indulge in Schadenfreude here, but it's awfully tempting...

Anonymous said...

The housewife story is especialy funny. In addition to cars and stuff, the bigger question is - why in world would she want to buy a $1.5M house if she does not have the means to pay for it. Oh wait, she is on Real Housewifes, she must pretend money is no object and throw it left and right.

Anonymous said...

JLO, Mike Tyson didn't build that house, he bought it from a disgraced real estate developer. That explains the work done on the cheap.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Keough...I wasn't aware they were doing loan mods on income properties; I also thought a borrower had to show qualifying income to afford the revised payment. Is that incorrect? If her income has taken a hit, could she even qualify for a modification?

Also, is she still collecting rent from her tenants while not making the payments on these properties? That is, in my opinion, damned unethical.

:{} avg joe said...

question

with all of the so called psychics, numerologists that get hired all the time by the rich and famous, why.....

could they have not predicted this crash ? and yet I did for the last 2 years ?

and I am not psychic

btw I am back in NYC, as the papers are saying that CA is going to declare bankruptcy in a matter of weeks, months, that means, no police, fire dept, govt, which could mean a rioting free for all ?

just sayin

:{} avg joe

Anonymous said...

I want to guess #5 too
Is it Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Jimmy said...

Best check the abacus: £9.5M is only $15.75M

Viva! said...

I love Jeana Keough...she's my absolute favorite "Real Housewife"...I hope this is all a big business scheme of hers and that it works out for her :)

Anonymous said...

Arnolds place would be much more than $30mm if he's in the realm of his neighbors... whos smaller house on less land is on the market for $34m

Plus the Arnolds house isn't multi-parcel. It's just a large parcel.

Anonymous said...

Listen to your mama, she always said the rich are fickle when it comes to real estate, and not necessarily smart.
This blog is hilarious, better than anything on tee-vee, until there's a real house husband show.
Mel's a dick.

Anonymous said...

You can see Mels house on the Sotheby's site here:

http://www.sothebysrealty.com/en/PropertyDetails.aspx?R=100063959&N=12+149+4294967274+4294967227&curr=USD&lang=en&No=-1&PSeq=0

I would love to see the floor plan for this house!

Anonymous said...

the multi-parcel palisades compound has already been listed. i'm assuming this is the one you're speaking of:

http://guests.themls.com/profile_page.cfm?mls=09-376759&tab=search

Syd said...

I actually had to google terlits. Still laughing my ass off.

Nancy/PA said...

I suppose this is the house that Mr. Cent proudly showed off on MTV Cribs? The one that is so large it apparently houses his entire posse?

IIRC, Ms. Keough just last season was claiming that she wasn't affected by the r.e. downturn....she was fortunately still able to make money from her clients' distress sales.

vincent said...

I own a condo and have an outstanding balance of $140k, consisting of $104k primary and $36k secondary. I took the home equity to consolidate debts. At the time the property was valued at $163k but now it is valued at $134k. I'm looking to sell because i am engaged and will be moving into my fiancee's home. Check http://obamamortgage2009.blogspot.com/2009/03/obamas-mortgage-modification-do-you.html If I have a buyer who offers me within say $5-7k of the outstanding, can i agree to assume a loan on the residual and pay the bank the difference over time with interest? The same bank holds both mortgages.

Anonymous said...

We can fervently hope that the real estate "downturn" will worsen and last much longer so that many of these overpaid bozos lose millions more of their undeserved super-riches. How delightful that so many of them invested so much in RE. Yes, that's schadenfreud, if you want a name for it.

Anonymous said...

I own a condo and have an outstanding balance of $140k, consisting of $104k primary and $36k secondary. I took the home equity to consolidate debts. At the time the property was valued at $163k but now it is valued at $134k. I'm looking to sell because i am engaged and will be moving into my fiancee's home. Check http://obamamortgage2009.blogspot.com/2009/03/obamas-mortgage-modification-do-you.html If I have a buyer who offers me within say $5-7k of the outstanding, can i agree to assume a loan on the residual and pay the bank the difference over time with interest? The same bank holds both mortgages.