Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Flea Selling Another House in the Malee-boo

SELLER: Michael Balzary, aka Flea
LOCATION: Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $13,676,000
SIZE: 2,731 square feet (as per assessor), 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Out of this world celebrity retreat on an unbelievable 2 flat acres sited on the Encinal Bluffs. Staircase & private road beach access. Expansive rolling lawns, exceptionally unique architectural w/ soaring ceilings, open floor plan & walls of glass, gallery walls, tree trunk floors positioned as an indoor/outdoor natural setting. 2 large separate guest homes, long drive, 2 garages, private spa terrace. Unimaginable ocean & beach views from every angle.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in in the spring of 2006, Red Hot Chili Peppers bass player Michael Balzary, aka Flea, put his Malee-boo manse on the market with an asking price of $5,000,000. In March of 2007, when Your Mama discussed the Sycamore Meadows Drive domicile, the asking price had been sliced to $4,800,000 and several subsequent slashes brought the asking price down to $2,800,000. Then, we regret to inform, disaster struck. Although records indicate the property remains in Mister Flea's real estate portfolio, multiple reports state the house burned to the ground in the fires that raged through the mountains above Malee-boo in the fall of 2007 and, indeed, the property did (and does) appear on the official list of homes consumed by the colossal conflagration.

In January of 2007, just a few months before he listed his Sycamore Meadows Drive residence, property records and previous reports reveal that Mister Flea (and his supermodel baby momma Frankie Rayder) forked over $9,980,000 for a 2.01 acre ocean front estate on the Encinal Bluffs, which is up in the northern reaches of Malibu near where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's contemporary crib clings to the cliff. Now, just over two years later and after a giving the Pacific Coast Highway property a full and finely tuned face lift, Mister Flea has listed his low-key cliff top compound with an asking price of $13,676,000.

According to listing information, the property includes a main house and two separate guest houses, one of which appears to be currently used by Mister Flea for making music. Listing information shows there are 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms but to be honest children, we're not sure if those four bedrooms and bathrooms are all located in the main house or if they're spread throughout the property.

The front door of the main house opens to a narrow, wood beamed and sky lit hallway with gallery white walls and a dee-lishus wood floor made of end-up tree trunks that create a loose grid of light and dark that sort of resembles a varnished giraffe skin. The main living space, down a handful of steps down from the entrance hall, is comprised of an open plan living room, dining room and kitchen. There is a high sloped ceiling, a fireplace in the living room area, several large sections of windows that open to a narrow waterside terrace and more of that tree trunk wood floor. Now children that wood floor could easily be a decorating dee-zas-ter in the wrong hands and we fully realize some of y'all will think it's heinous, but Your Mama thinks the pattern makes a nice counter point to all white walls and white furniture.

The somewhat small but fully functional kitchen includes a long row of windows over the sink that look out towards the ocean, a nice feature when scrubbing pots and pans. There is a noticeable absence of over-head cabinetry which we imagine some of the children will gripe about also. However, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's new kitchen has no overhead cabinetry, just a simple shelf for daily dishes and glassware, and we love it. Fortunately there is a large pantry and heaps of under counter storage for all the food stuffs and kitchen ware that normally goes in overhead cabinets.

Anyhoo, in addition to the master suite with more of that dee-voon tree trunk flooring, high wood beamed ceiling, sky lit bathroom and view of the ocean, the main house includes three other family bedrooms, one of which appears to be a loft space that overlooks the living room area. This is all well and good for taking a nap, but not so good for over night guests. Then again, over night guests are likely put up in one of the two separate guest houses that dot the property. At the front of the compound, closest to the Pacific Coast Highway is the larger guest unit which as far as we can tell includes 2 bedrooms, a fireplace and (we assume) at least one terlit. The other guest unit is of undetermined size but we're certain includes sleeping quarters at the least and (presumably) a private pooper.

The property slopes gently from the gated entrance on the Pacific Coast Highway down towards the bluff. A large lawn area perfect for rousing games of Bocce, Croquet or horseshoes sits between the guest house and the main house and a wide lawn stretches from the rear of the main house to steep and perilous bluff. Off to one side is a circular deck with a built in spa and seating area which looks like the perfect spot to re-create a cocaine and blush wine fueled orgy from the 1970s. We're not saying Flea does that, we're just saying that if he wanted to, this would be a magnificent spot to do so. The grounds include several other outdoor patios and seating areas including a sunken and tree shaded outdoor living room and another with a built in bbq center.

Listing information indicates that in addition the the long private stair case that leads to the beach, there is also access by private road, which is a good damn thing because Your Mama would much prefer to have our totalitarian house gurl Svetlana pop down in a golf cart to pick up our sunburned butt than to huff and puff our way back up and risk a heart attack or fit of the asthma.

No word on why Mister Flea would want to sell this pretty piece of ocean front property. Quite frankly, if you like solitude and living along the rugged and dramatic California coastline, this seems like a keeper to Your Mama. Lord knows we'd live here in a heartbeat iffin we had 13 and some million smacker for a beach house, which of course we do not.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

And what exact architectural style would you call that house? At first I thought it was an adobe-type structure, but I find the weird blend of brutalist concrete-modern exterior and very woody, almost log cabin-esque interior finishes a little off putting...to great styles that don't necessarily go great together...I think someone who likes the exterior would be disappointed by the interior, and vice-versa...but the property/location/land itself is indeed to die for...

Anonymous said...

Wow. I love it!

Did anyone else notice all the books in the bookcase are white?

Anonymous said...

I was wondering who owned this place ... I quite like it but prefer Brad Pitts a few doors away ... Actually, a parcel of land is for sale right next door to Brad that I'd much rather have & build my own place.

Anonymous said...

Definitely needs a pool, the sea is way to cold around those parts!

Anonymous said...

Whoever buys this will buy it as a tear down / vacant land value and tear it down and build. Quite frankly there are several, several properties along this 32000 of PCH for sale. Bad time out there I guess.

However, luckily DiCaprio was able to unload his. Are Brad and Angelina still trying to sell? THey need a reality check with the asking price.

Anonymous said...

Flea plays the bass, mama

TickleMeFabio said...

that vw bus is too precious.....

dougiefresh said...

"Books are awfully decorative, don't you think?"
Gloria Upson to Auntie Mame

Anonymous said...

I'll take the classic 60s mint VW surfer van and the view(lot). But nuke the house! I would vomit daily on that floor tile with the nasty brown pattern. The ugly beams look like the the cheap support raw beams in a 24hour fitness. And the furniture is dirt collecting white and looks to 80s futon like. $13,676,000 for a tear down. Is the land worth it?

angeleyes said...

Love the bluff top location, but is Malibu magically exempt from the present tide of dwindling property values? I believe the asking price is wishful thinking at best, off-putting to potential buyers at worst. The beach style home is nice enough, but the views are the only aspect with universal appeal here. Nice article Mama, thank you :)

Anonymous said...

Can you get fire insurance in Malibu? At what price? Is this place "fire-proof" or could another Santa Ana take it down?

The Preppy Pauper said...

As I perused the pics, I thought "eh..." nothing very exciting here and the floor is a little vertigo inducing for my taste. Then I looked at the last two pictures of the view from the property. Now I know where the expression jaw dropping comes from. Say whatever you like about the left coast, but California has some of the most gorgeous coastline in the world.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the bathroom, but that's about it. Except for the property/views of course. The ceilings are icky.

bentley said...

I want the little purple bus!

Love the house, the views make me horny, and you know you've arrived when you have a circular blow and blush deck.

Sign me up.

Babe Parish said...

all in favor of "brutalist modern" as a description say "aye!"

love that word. :)

Anonymous said...

What's the style?

It's a dump.

A total teardown.
http://www.redhotchiliocean.com/download/index_001.htm
(you have to add an "s" to a lot of the photos before the ".jpg" for them to appear.

The house is ramshackle, and malibu real estate has gone done 40% since he bought it. the price is delusional.

Awesome lot and view though.

Anonymous said...

There is another house built right on the beach in front of this one. NO WAY WOULD I PAY THIS PRICE, with hardly any beach frontage(10-20 feet)! Looks like the person that owns the house in front of his has enough cars. Is he running a auto salvage yard on the beach? Keep shopping!

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/birds-eye-view-map/20558203_zpid/#birds-eye-view

manila homes said...

I cannot imagine myself living in a stunning house like this and I am wondering why the owner of this classy house would ever want to sell this property. Honestly, what attracts me more of Mr. Flea’s house is the beauty of this place especially the view of the beach and I am sure anyone could live peacefully here.