Monday, January 12, 2009

More on Britney Spears Blah Blah Blah

Hold on to yer britches children because, like it or not, the Britney Spears real estate crazy train is pulling out of the station and the giant price reduction on Miz Spear's current crib in the guard gated community of The Summit up in the hills above Beverly is hardly the only real estate noise the comeback queen is making this week.

According to a recent report on a Britney Spears fansite called Breathe Heavy, the Circus singer is packing up her circus and moving to The Oaks, a high-priced, family oriented and guard gated community of sizable mcmansions in the western Los Angeles suburbs of Calabasas.

The rumors and whispers of Miz Spears desire to decamp to Calabasas have been swirling around the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine for a looong time children, but to be honest, Your Mama knows next to nuthin' about the actual movements and whereabouts of the peripatetic pop star who can't seem to settle down in one house for very long before getting ants in her real estate pants.

What we do know, however, is the following:

1. Back in June of 2008 it was widely rumored and reported that the Spears family cash cow had her appropriately medicated eyes on a newly built mansion called Chateau Suenos located in the The Estates, the most expensive and exclusive section of The Oaks. For some reason unfathomable to Your Mama, The Estates has become a rock star friendly enclave which is also home to Brad Wilk of the anti-establishment band Rage Against the Machine and former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker as well as the the 9,214 square foot mansion Eddie Murphy's ex-wife Nicole has been trying to sell since the dawn of damn time.

2. When it was first whispered in Your Mama's big ear that Miz Spears had been sniffing around the 10,300+ square foot manse on Prado do los Suenos, it was listed for sale with an asking price of $10,800,000. Since that time the asking price has been sliced and diced several times to its last asking price of $8,990,000.

3. According to information we received from Helen Heels, the 7 bedroom and 9 bathroom house was also available for lease at $19,000 per month, a number out of reach for mere mortals but just pennies for a glammy gal who reportedly has a pre-alimony and pre-child support monthly income in high six figures.

4. It's our understanding that the property in question was very recently "withdrawn" from the MLS which can indicate any number of things including (but not limited to) it having been leased, being taken off the market for a price adjustment or change of listing agent etc., and sometimes (but by no means always) it means that a high profile person has attached them self to the property either by lease or mortgage.

5. Listing information states the "French Chateau" style residence is centered around an interior courtyard with French terracotta pavers, a limestone fountain and an outdoor fireplace–a perfect spot for Miz Spears to play with her coupla pop-tots and and smoke her cancer sticks without being seen by nosy neighbors or the prying eyes of the paparazzi. Other amenities of the mansion are a two story octagon shaped library where Brit Brit can stash all seven of her books, a gore-may kitchen where daddy/conservator/chef Jamie can whip up meals for the household of hangers on and sycophants, a sound proofed home theatre, a wine cellar in the basement, a craft room, a master suite with sitting room and dual bathrooms and a custom fitted dressing room, a first floor guest suite with living room and private bath (perfect for the daddy/conservator), an elevator (when you're this rich and pampered who wants to walk up a flight of damn stairs?), at least 5 fireplaces, a six car garage with under-ground auto lift, a kick-ass security system, and the above mentioned guest house pavilion over-looking the swimming pool and spa decorated with mosaic tiles.

6. We hear from one of our better connected sources that Miz Spears did have a long look-see at the property over the weekend, but is unable to confirm whether she's actually moving to the house. You can draw your own conclusions children.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

If the rumors are true, I would assume that Sam Lutfi didn't walk away with the $30 to $40 million that some have guessed.

I have also observed through photos that Ms. Spears and entourage are still flying to Europe on Gulfstream V's.

Although it is far too early to tell if she's doing OK in the mental department, she appears to be doing fine in the financial department.

Here's hoping she doesn't wake up tomorrow going "oops, I just realized I had all of my wealth with Madoff." That seems to be a common theme these days.

Anonymous said...

The idea of a courtyard is nice, but surrounded by two stories leaves it extremely dark and with a closed-in feeling. Don't like it at all.

Anonymous said...

The Oaks is a good place to go if you don't mind being over an hour drive away from the Hollywood Clubs, Beverly Hills, Dodgers, Lakers etc....Before you know it, she will be shopping for an L.A. pad.

Anonymous said...

maybe the penthouse at the w residences in hollywood

Anonymous said...

i have the floor plans

Sandpiper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

1:04 - I think you just summed up the reasons Daddy Spears WOULD sign a check for this house. Guessing he wouldn't be so inclined to whip out the checkbook for a place at the W.

Anonymous said...

New construction Southern California & Florida mediterranean houses always look so nice. In the Northeast why do all new construction "colonials" have 40 of the same window size and what appears to be vinyl siding, even at a mid 7 figure price?

This house is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Very nice house.

~~ARCHITECTUREFAN001~~ said...

This house is huge the floor plans are layed out so great, the master suite has a sitting area, and his & her clostes and baths. there are 4 bedrooms up and 2 bedrooms down, each bedroom has its own bathroom except for one. the pool house has its own kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom. there is a theater and a game room off the main living room, and the interior courtyard is lovely

~~ARCHITECTUREFAN001~~ said...

i also have the floor plans incase anyone wants them

Dinuba said...

how about emailing the floorplans to mama

Anonymous said...

anon 12:15 - I totally agree about the courtyard. The 2nd story makes it look way too narrow.

The entire place just looks sterile.

Anonymous said...

That courtyard is unique and a nice way to cross ventilate the house when it's just the right time of year, but I guess if you're that rich you keep it running whenever you want.

Anonymous said...

http://www.chateausuenos.com/

Hot fucking house

Anonymous said...

What's the deal with McMansions that have 9 bathrooms but no freakin' landscaping? Just miles of environmentally sucky lawns with hardly any trees, shrubs, etc. The courtyard is claustrophobic and totally out of scale with the size of the house. Another tacky spec house, all size no soul.

Anonymous said...

there are NO GATES around the property. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY JOSE

Anonymous said...

this house has absolutely no privace. does anyone else get that feeling? is this a gated community at least?

Anonymous said...

This looks like the set of Weeds, I had no idea that actually existed.

Anonymous said...

I like the back a lot better than the front. To me, the front looks like a theme restaurant. It seems rather stark right now but the landscaping will mature, making the house more beautiful and private. I like the courtyard - they'll be able to open all the doors and hear the fountain. All the tilework is gorgeous, too. I agree with one of the previous posters - being an hour away from all the "fun" is probably what she needs. It won't be long before she's outa there, though.

Anonymous said...

My neighbor has a couple of those lifts in his garage - they're cool. He can get 4 cars into a 2 car garage. I find it odd that a lift would be included with a brand-new house, however.

Anonymous said...

I HATE those turrets in the front of the house. They look like a misguided attempt to simulate a chateau. While the inside looks nice, the drive-up impression is horrible. Unless the picture of the front of the house was taken at a bad angle, it's hideous.

Anonymous said...

The pool house is a lot more tasteful than the main house. Love the giant fold-back doors, the beams on the ceiling and the fireplace.

Anonymous said...

Nice house, but Calabasas? Ew. It screams old washup, which Ms. Spears is not.

Mr T said...

where are the trees and landscaping?

This place looks big and very desolate.

Anonymous said...

Its being reported elsewhere that she is only renting this place while she builds a new house close by.

Anonymous said...

THANK GOD!

Anonymous said...

The courtyard is tiny. And all the turrets and ugly placed stone makes it look the prison yard in Shawshank Redemption.

And the pool is also very strange looking. Looks like the flight deck on the Nimitz. Flat as a board. Just add runway landing lights.

outsmoker said...

The tiny courtyard seems to be a perfect place to enjoy a Marlboro without listening to the whining inhabitants of the house.

Hippie Canyon said...

I think Outsmoker hit the false fingernail on the head! The rear courtyard of that house is a ridiculous echo chamber. But just imagine, Britney moving to the cuntry, to a big ol' Spanish mansion. Or as her father says: "ol' timey Mex'can house." Although someone should warn her - it won't be that much closer to The FedX. So, if she is planning a secret rendezvous with him, there won't be any travel time saved. Anywho, I'm sure she'll purely love CalabasASS. And to think she'll be able to hang out with the those big butted K-slags, too! I'm a jealous wreck!

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:56 said it. Where's the privacy? Everywhere you look it seems there's another house with a bird's eye view of this place. I can't imagine How many long lensed paparazzis will be bribing the other homeowners to set up shop at their place.

For Spear's sake it better be true that she's only renting this for the time being. She's going to see pictures of her while at home plastered everywhere, not to mention people camped out and/or knocking on her door all day and night.

Anonymous said...

good god. calabasas will now be ruined by the slimeball paparazzi. love britney, but not all that comes along with her. travis barker in the commins is bad enough!

Anonymous said...

She's definitely moving. It was posted on her website today that she took her boys to see their new house. Apparently. she also dropped off some of the kids toys while she was there.

Anonymous said...

It's a gated community. The neighbors don't want the photographers around anymore than Spears. They aren't going to be renting out their bedrooms. Geez.

Anonymous said...

The back does look better, a lot.

¤ ¤ ¤ Tony B ¤ ¤ ¤ said...

¤ ¤ ¤ Thanx Mama, you're the Best! Love to hear updates on Miss Britney Spears. Keep up the good work! :-D ¤ ¤ ¤

Anonymous said...

What obnoxious and inane commentary. Good job real estatestalker or whatever your pen name is.

Anonymous said...

12:43 - How about a link to your own witty blog so we can critique it?

Anonymous said...

SSHH. don’t tell anyone KYW TV in Philly is a MESS…KYW is a fu***** mess.

As anyone who knows knows–Susan Schiller, Peter Dunn, Michael Colelran, Mike Archer, Cesar Aldama, Leslie Moonves needs to CLEAN HOUSE AND FIRE their fu***** asses. For god-s sakes, they’re all idiots, Alycia LAne, LArry, and the mumbo jumbo management that misses stories elft and right and tape recordds Channel 6 shows every single day at the behest of News Director Susan Schiller since she don’t know how to run a damn news room. The woman was late sending camera crews to the McGReevey scandal when it broke because–get this–she didn’t know it even happened until channel 2 in NYC called her and tipped her off and til Schiller saw the report on Channel 6. FU–ng Fools. God Bless CBS Idiots.

31 people either got fired or resigned from KYW TV in a one year span. Beverly Williams fired with only ONE year left on her court ordered 3 year Public Service Show. CBS bought her out. CBS under peter dunn bought out EJ HENDLEY the black female reporter. CBS ousted Esther Piere Black female reporter. CBS kyw TV ousted black reporter Karenm Adams after one year. KYW TV ousts Black anchor Denise Saunders. KYW demotes Susan Barnett female anchor to reporter after one year. KYW harasses and gets rid of Female (at the time pregnant reporter) Karen Scullin. KYW TV ousts Hispanic assignment desk chic Theresa Archenault. KYW TV ousts half HIspanic Anchor Alycia Lane. KYW tv reportedly ousts only Asian reporter Ji young Min. KYW Susan Schiller keeps Old Reporter Dick Standish off air for 3 years for which he contacts an attorney at Alycia Lane’s firm. Susan Schiller at KYW ousts GAY writer Darryl Dupont. KYW TV ousts Black photographer Chris MOnroe after one year. KYW TV ousts GAY creative Services Director Larry Solitrin forced to retire on permanent disability as Peter DUnn gave him a hard time leaving Solitrin Harrassing messages on his home phone. KYW TV ousts Anchor Marc Howard because he has trouble reading teleprompter BUT KYW TV doesn’t want the viewers to know their real reasons

Anonymous said...

SSHH. don’t tell anyone KYW TV in Philly is a MESS…KYW is a fu***** mess.

As anyone who knows knows–Susan Schiller, Peter Dunn, Michael Colelran, Mike Archer, Cesar Aldama, Leslie Moonves needs to CLEAN HOUSE AND FIRE their fu***** asses. For god-s sakes, they’re all idiots, Alycia LAne, LArry, and the mumbo jumbo management that misses stories elft and right and tape recordds Channel 6 shows every single day at the behest of News Director Susan Schiller since she don’t know how to run a damn news room. The woman was late sending camera crews to the McGReevey scandal when it broke because–get this–she didn’t know it even happened until channel 2 in NYC called her and tipped her off and til Schiller saw the report on Channel 6. FU–ng Fools. God Bless CBS Idiots.

31 people either got fired or resigned from KYW TV in a one year span. Beverly Williams fired with only ONE year left on her court ordered 3 year Public Service Show. CBS bought her out. CBS under peter dunn bought out EJ HENDLEY the black female reporter. CBS ousted Esther Piere Black female reporter. CBS kyw TV ousted black reporter Karenm Adams after one year. KYW TV ousts Black anchor Denise Saunders. KYW demotes Susan Barnett female anchor to reporter after one year. KYW harasses and gets rid of Female (at the time pregnant reporter) Karen Scullin. KYW TV ousts Hispanic assignment desk chic Theresa Archenault. KYW TV ousts half HIspanic Anchor Alycia Lane. KYW tv reportedly ousts only Asian reporter Ji young Min. KYW Susan Schiller keeps Old Reporter Dick Standish off air for 3 years for which he contacts an attorney at Alycia Lane’s firm. Susan Schiller at KYW ousts GAY writer Darryl Dupont. KYW TV ousts Black photographer Chris MOnroe after one year. KYW TV ousts GAY creative Services Director Larry Solitrin forced to retire on permanent disability as Peter DUnn gave him a hard time leaving Solitrin Harrassing messages on his home phone. KYW TV ousts Anchor Marc Howard because he has trouble reading teleprompter BUT KYW TV doesn’t want the viewers to know their real reasons

Anonymous said...

More pictures and information on the property!

http://www.toolbox7.com/jb7/

Anonymous said...

More pictures and information on the property!

http://www.toolbox7.com/jb7/

Anonymous said...

7:43 pm - Just a hunch.... You're one of the 31 people who got fired?

Go find a blog where they care.