Friday, January 23, 2009

Chelsea and Ted Living In Sin in Marina del Rey



BUYERS: Chelsea Handler and Ted Harbert
LOCATION: Marina Pointe Drive, Marina del Rey, CA
PRICE: $3,700,000
SIZE: 3,319 square feet, 3-4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning we awoke to a covert communication from the always helpful Aerial Dave who tipped us off to a cushy condominium purchase by celebrity skewering and deliciously mean comedy queen Chelsea Handler (who hosts the wild and wooly Chelsea Lately program on the E! channel) and her much older tee-vee executive man-beau Ted Harbert who happens to be the current president and CEO of telecommunications juggernaut Comcast Group (and Miss Handler's de facto boss). So, you know children, he's bringing home a big man's salary.

Anyhoo, according to property records Your Mama accessed, back in November of 2008 Miss Handler and Mister Harbert scooped up a penthouse condominium at the not so long ago completed Azzurre building in Marina del Rey, CA. Records show the couple forked over an impressive $3,700,000 for the 3,319 square foot condo where the unmarried couple plans to, apparently, live in sin.

Information and floor plans we located on the internets show the unit includes 3-4 bedrooms (including one with a private balcony), 3.5 bathrooms, a bowling alley like entrance hall, an open plan living, dining and kitchen area wrapped in floor to ceiling glass walls that open to a wrap around balcony and views over the boat basin and toward the Pacific Ocean which glistens like gold at sunset.

Each of the two principle secondary bedrooms, located in a wing of their own for maximum privacy, have commodious walk in closets, lovely views of the harbor and ocean and private, windowless poopers. We know them poopers probably have industrial strength air filters, but Your Mama still worries about and looks crossways at bathrooms without natural ventilation.

Besides sharing a wall with the only wall a nice gay decorator could put an entertainment unit in the living room, the master bedroom offers some wonderful amenities such a gorgeous views, an oddly shaped 16 foot long walk in closet, and a good sized bathroom with a nook for the terlit and bidet which–for those who think it's a water fountain–is actually used for keeping the naughty bits clean. The shower looks large enough to comfortably fit Mister Harbert, Miss Handler and, should they be into something a little more creative in the bowmchickabowbow department, her little nugget sidekick Chewy.

Although we do not find any previous property ownership by Miss Handler, this is far from the only property owned by Mister Harbert. In fact it's not even the only condo that Mister Harbert owns at the Azzurre. In addition to a 9,392 square foot house on bizzy Sunset Boolayvard in the Pacific Palisades, CA, another house in Ketchum, ID near the Sun Valley ski resort he also owns an 8th floor unit at the Azzurre that records show he purchased in August of 2006 for $2,100,000 and currently has on the market with an asking price of $2,099,000. It does not require our bejeweled abacus to figure out that Mister Harbert is going to lose a couple hundred grand on that transaction once the bank and real estate fees are paid.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can you say future deferred maintainance?

From what I can tell, the original developer STILL has units listed on the MLS that NEVER sold even though the building is a few years old.

LOTS of NOD's and foreclosures to come in that box of glass cubicles.

Anonymous said...

i love Chelsea!!

GAIL FISCHER said...

I am very disappointed in you MAMA......... no picture of CHEWYS room?

outsmoker said...

Call a spade a spade. The bedroom with the balcony was designed for a smoker!

Viva! said...

Chelsea's a riot and Ted Harbert is seriously rich.

Anonymous said...

I'd venture to guess "bedroom 1" is really a den/office.

Anonymous said...

how much is ted worth??

Anonymous said...

chelsea's the joan rivers of the 2000s.

Anonymous said...

they're cute together- best wishes!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/107/365501987_3299589e82.jpg

Starck Mad said...

Awesome floor plan. Great size too.

Boy.....if I had the cash, I'd go for this, and a Starck Icon flat in South Beach.

Contrast this with Candy Spelling's 'Versailles In the Sky' future dwelling? Much like choosing a Warhol versus a tacky LeRoy Neiman painting.
(Candy chose the Leroy)

Anonymous said...

why would you call chelsea joan rivers?

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU MAMA - I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT WINDOWS IN A POOPER!

Viva! said...

Well I happen to think that Kathy Griffin is the Joan Rivers of the 2000s...Chelsea is a little different, she isn't as mainstream as Kathy or Joan.

Ted Harbert was the prez of ABC during the go-go 80s...he made millions every year and has made even more millions since then working for Comcast.

Starck Mad, ITA, this place is head and shoulders nicer than Candy Spelling's ridiculous condo for a sliver of the price.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea is the funniest person ever (well, besides Kathy). I loved her Girls behavign Badly days. She always says on her show how she hates houses and has always preferred high rises.

Why is she with this old man, she has $ now.

Viva! said...

Anonymous 10:12,

I think they might just be in love...Ted Harbert, from what I've seen of him, is a handsome, charming guy who likes women who have balls (he's the one who OK'd Joan Collins joining 'Dynasty' way back in the day)

Anonymous said...

I know it's L.A. and all, but how cynical you are to question why she's with him now that she's got money. did you ever consider that she just might love the man?

Rich is a perq, not a reason. Trust me. I know. I married a rich. In the end it means nothing if you can't stand each other.

Anonymous said...

I wish I was able to see into the future like some of the other commenters. Candy Spelling's condo doesn't exist yet.

Anonymous said...

I know really what are these people talking about?
They are judging what Candys condo looks like on its price thats really stupid!

designslinger.com said...

Go Chelsea Go!

Anonymous said...

TO ANON 8:08 PM
joan and chelsea are both hilarious jewish blonde celeb slammers. joan had a talk show (and was super funny in the 80s), chelsea has a show, too. kathy griffin doesn't have a talk show, she just does the red carpet shtick.

Anonymous said...

its ANON 8:08 PM
ok i thought you were comparing there looks

Madam Pince said...

I love me some Chelsea! I think one reason she's with Ted is that he's emotionally secure enough to cope with an intelligent, ballsy woman.

I agree with all my fellow chirren that this is a MUCH nicer place than Candy Spelling's yet-to-be-constructed mess. But what can you expect from Candy Darling?

Anonymous said...

this building is in a horrible area...right next to lincoln blvd...its also a totally lifeless dead area of mdr(well what life is there in mdr?).This building is surrounded by 1 or 2 equally huge and ugly buildings-probably within 100 ft of each other .I used to work in one of the buildings.The wind is crazy as it bounces off each building.Surprisingly the views arent that great because you are more than a mile from the beach.You do see sun reflecting off the marina -blinding you much of the day.The views to the south is the westchester bluff and thats it.The north view is venice and boring and east is nothing much except downtown on a clear day and maybe the distant hollywood hills.Probably the worst views you could find in LA and in a city where good vistas are nearly everywhere.The occupants of these buildings are the same as century city:boring,senior/old,retired wealthy professionals.Sterile and boring.

Anonymous said...

4:25 AM - 100 correct. This building is a white elephant.

also the floor plan is shit - about 75% is bedroom/ensuite. Wrong propositions !!!!

Anonymous said...

It seems very nice, however I would have rearranged the floorplan somewhat. I like a large great room concept and maximum living area openness, so I'd combine the living room and master bedroom to achieve that, and use the master bath and WIC to create a much larger and better positioned kitchen, then reconfigure and extend the kitchen as seen in the floor plan and remaining bedrooms, etc. into a master and 2 spares, reducing the total number of bedrooms from 4 to 3. I can see why the master as depicted in the floorplan is located where it is - to provide it with a view of the ocean, but since the most of the time I'm in my bedroom is spent sleeping, I'd gladly trade that off for a larger kitchen and living area with a long glass wall affording an extensive sweeping ocean view from every position and angle in that wing.

Starck Mad said...

Wow, the venom unleashed! This floorplan is hardly 'shit', as another Ms. Anon. has posted.

I'd love the Lautner seaside house, but this will do just fine!

AMcA said...

What a god-awful layout. The master bedroom gives directly off the living room? Just like an 700 sq ft. one-bedroom.

And the spare rooms have their own hallway, but the MBR doesn't?

Where do they find these architects?

Anonymous said...

comparing this place to princess candy's possible new digs (and i don't think anyone is holding their breath waiting for that move to ever take place. related probably paid her to announce that she was taking that space. . . ) is like comparing some mid-century ranch up at the top of amalfi, to, well, candy's present crib on charing cross. i might actually prefer to live in the ranch house (actually i'd really prefer the eames house in santa monica, or, if one existed, an untouched neutra on mulholland), but i don't think it would be useful to compare any of them to, say, neff's singleton house. completely different scale, price point, style of living, 'taste', etc. i'm not familiar with the location of this place, but i completely agree that the present floorplan is really, really bad.

Anonymous said...

Time for a new update mama.

Anonymous said...

Curious layout, but I think I could manage to live in this apartment.

Anonymous said...

He doesn't even look that much older than her. Eeek!

The master bedroom is wrongly positioned. I wouldn't want it next to the living room. They need an architect, stat.

Anonymous said...

Now we know why E! is having CASH FLOW ISSUES! Not a good time to be nouveau riche

Anonymous said...

I live in this building. The top 3 floors (Chelsea is on the top) have double units, meaning that her unit is half the size on floors 3-16. If you look at bedrooms 1, 2 & 3 on her floor plan that is the unit next door on floors 3-16 so that is why there is a balcony off the bedroom, it is the living room for units 3-16. Hope this is making sense. Also, Chelsea's renovations are so large because this used to be the sales office.