Thursday, October 2, 2008

We Gotta Run, But...

Listen children, Your Mama is all sorts of crazy bizzy today so we don't know if we're going to have time to discuss an actual celebrity property at length. We know some of you are gonna get upset and we'll probably get all manner of emails telling us that we are a lazy bitch.

But you know what? We don't care. When you start putting money into our PayPal account so that we can pay the mortgage and the raw food chef we hire for our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly, we'll stop taking days off during the week. But until then, like most of you, Your Mama has to make a living too.

In the meantime, you really should head on over to Braden Keil's most recent Gimme Shelter column in the NY Post. This week he's got great updates about a few folks we've previously discussed such as Natalie Portman and her Richard Meier dee-zined digs in Manhattan and the giant price chop on The Queen of Mean Leona Helmsley's Greenwich, CT estate known as Dunnellen Hall.

He also discusses some of the juicy buyer backlash at the Plaza Hotel. The new paint is barely dry on the old girl, and according to Mister Keil and Streeteasy, there are already 26 apartments for sale in the building ranging from a blistering $1,800,000 for a studio apartment all the way to $55,000,000 for Esprit founder Jurgen Friedrich's fifth floor flip. Tommy Hilfiger, another filthy rich fashion retailer, is also attempting to flip his unfinished penthouse doo-plex for $50,000,000 after purchasing the Central Park view unit in July of 2008 for $25,048,673. (Yes, that's right puppies, he's hoping to double his money.)

We also counted 20 units looking for really rich rental tenants. Anyone interested in a 630 square foot studio with over sized windows and a Juliette balcony for $5,800 a month? How about a furnished 1 bedroom with 1.5 bathrooms for a mere $25,000 per month? Or perhaps you need more space and you'd prefer a 3 bedroom 3.5 bathroom unit with a windowless kitchen and dining room at $38,000 a month?

You know what children? We're not surprised there are problems at The Plaza. Seriously kids, what's with all these magnates, tycoons and big bizness barons who figured it was financially prudent to spend a million or more on a studio apartment and well over three and four million clams for a large one bedroom unit? Pleeze.

It is our humble and entirely meaningless opinion that some of the mega moneyed buyers are simply suffering from a colossal case of buyer's remorse and as a result many owners are now attempting to resell their real estate mistakes and others are suing the El Ad Group (the building's owner and developer) for their own financial foolishness. It looks like some of these high end buyers who swooped in like chauffeur driven vultures to snap up all these extravagantly priced apartments at The Plaza may have got caught with their real estate pants down, and in light of the volatile financial markets and the behemoth bail out brouhaha we seriously doubt many folks feel much (if any) sympathy for these buyers' potentially futile plight to flip their obscenely expensive real estate white elephants...at a profit, natch.

Certainly, most of these people can afford to hold their hideously expensive apartments with no financial difficulties. And many may choose to do so, of course. But as evidenced by the number of units currently for sale, many buyers clearly don't want to hang on to their never lived in apartments. It remains to be seen how desirable all those 8, 10, and 12 million dollar two bedroom apartments will be on the resale market.

Mister Max Abelson over at the NY Observer has been following some the law suit shenanigans going on at The Plaza too. Good stuff.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the salacious info, Mama.
And anyone who has a problem with you taking a day off from your blog really needs to get themselves a life.

Anonymous said...

A relatively new reader here:
It gets pretty tired listening to how busy your life is in the first couple sentances of a post. Just provide the good/interesting/humerous info you are known for - quit with the pathetic set up.
This is your job - we all have them - and I certainly don't whine everytime I come to work.
Thanks for the site!

Long Time Reader said...

Hey Anon up there...when was the last time Mama wrote one of those "pathetic set ups" talking about how busy she is?

I looked back a few pages and I didn't find one.

I for one don't really appreciate your rather rude comment. Not that it matters, but I just wanted to say that.

Anonymous said...

For Anon 8:45 -- piss off. If you don't like Mama's "set ups", then don't read her blog. And maybe if you had a real job, you wouldn't have time at work to be reading the internet--wonder what your boss would think of you NOT working while at work??

Anonymous said...

we sure do miss you - have a great week end

bentley said...

You best smarten up and mind your manners. Folks around here don't take kindly to Mama bashing.

I checked one of the places out and they are beautiful.

I think it was Stpaul who mentioned that, as a hotel, she was riding on reputation. The grand old dame needed a breath of fresh air. I think it was a great move and one that will ultimately prove fruitful .

average joe :[-) said...

I love it these rich A****** getting it

up the A*****

got the popcorn ?

it is going to be a long ride down and the fireworks show is just beginning

1st the plaza, next manhattan, next beverly hills, bel air, malibu, la jolla and the highend list goes on

I love it I love it

my predictions have finally come true

next will come the multitude of lawsuits

investors suing agents, agents suing appraisers, appraisers suing the banks and the banks are out of business

when will this financial firestorm end ?

5 years ?

10 years ?

20 years ?

god knows if we will survive this one

at least 250k is now covered by the FDIC as 100k is buptkus these days

lol

:[-)

Anonymous said...

With all due respect, I have to agree with Anon 8:45. Since when do you have to pay to have a blog on this site? Isn't it free? So what is this "mortgage" for this site that you speak of? Also, guess what, you started this blog and for it's very unattractive when you constantly complain about having to write on it. If you don't want to write and keep up with this blog, then let someone else take over, or better yet, hire other writers. I'm so sick of you complaining about other people complaining. Get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

Wow. No one makes you read this blog. If you don't like it so much, don't read it.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure the mortgage mentioned was for a house, not the cost of maintaining this blog.

And you come on here and whine about Mama's "complaining?" Now THAT is rich.

Anonymous said...

THis is great, haha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alessandra said...

I agree with Bentley on all fronts.

so_chic_darling said...

Anon 8.45 and 9.34 you just need a bigger dildo.
Oh and Mama Jurgen Friedrich is just an executive at Esprit, the founder was the legendary Susie Tompkins Buell.

so_chic_darling said...

You're right Mama nobody feels sorry for all the rich fools who overpaid for a park view at the Plaza, anything from 15 Central Park West all the way up would be way better than the Plaza, let's face it the Plaza is for out of towners only.

Anonymous said...

I feel this is an off topic thing to post, but since others felt the need to interject unrequested opinions I may as well throw mine in too: If you don't understand that blogs are often written as hobbies by people who have other jobs that are their main sources of income and, more importantly, if you cannot appreciate the time and effort put into creating a blog like The Real Estalker, then please feel free to fcuk directly off.

Thanks again to Mama from another fan. Your work, and personal time, is appreciated by most.

Hippie Canyon said...

As it happens, I just got off the Quija board and now have it on relatively good authority that Mama is about to go big time! I suspect she is chatting it up with some Ari Gold type, as we speak. So for everyone from the BitchCrew, give the ol' gal a break. She be bizzy, okay? Okay!

Anonymous said...

You know "Your Mama" is a man... for all you people complaining about "her". While he may be so gay he is lacking any testosterone... he was born a man. Thought I'd clear that up.

Sebastian said...

Wow... must be that time of the month for Mama, and I know she's a DUDE! I love the column, but the bitching in the second paragraph isn't cool. I, for one, just don't want to hear it.

Sandpiper said...

Yo, Bentley, So_Chic and others, Ditto.

I appreciate it when Mama lets us know she'll be offline for a spell so we don't worry that she's fallen head first into a barrel of Vanity Fair back-issues -- or frazzled her last nerve on any one of many decor misteps she must internalize / process daily for us grateful hungry children.

Mama, we'll be here as we have always been. Take your time, sweetie.

Oh, and more on the Plaza.

Anonymous said...

Mama, do a write-up on the Ahmanson house in Hancock Park. Most expensive listing ever for Hancock Park at $17.5 mil. There was an article in the L.A. Times business section featuring the house and there are muliple pictures on the Westside Estate Agency site.

Anonymous said...

Anon 8.45 and 9.34 and Sebastian, Mama occasionally writes in a tounge-in-cheek manner, not always to be taken seriously. Add that Mama also gets alot of complaintive emails and column comments on occasion from non-grateful types which accounts for today's 2nd paragraph, intended only for those to whom it pertains. If you took offense, you must have seen yourself reflected there.. Oops. And lmao @ so_chic's "bigger dildo" comment :)

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:05am speaks for me, especially "Thanks again to Mama from another fan. Your work, and personal time, is appreciated by most."

so Anon 8.45 and 9.34, get clicking & get yerselves some bigger dildos (thanks so_chic). try this http://www.goodvibes.com/

Anonymous said...

Why would you bitch that you dont want to hear mama supposibly bitching? First off, we don't wanna hear you bitch, and you are a typical hypocrital cunt complaining about someone else complaining.

Leave mama alone, you're just some pathetic loser living in a studio apartment and driving a 1982 rusted out Chevy Cavalier, mmmmk?

Yeah, so just fuck the hell off douchebags.

Anonymous said...

Mama...it's too bad that you can't just take these ungrateful children and drop them off at the shelter like you can in...what's that state again?

Never stop bitching mama.

Never.

Anonymous said...

"The Plankton Theory, like life itself, begins and ends in the ocean. Plankton, of course, are almost microscopic organisms that serve as food for higher life forms. Without plankton almost every fish and mammal in the sea could not survive, since most species depend upon other fish for their existence and plankton are the initial building blocks of the entire process. Logic would suggest, therefore, that in attempting to forecast the well being of the Great White Whale, Jaws, or even Jaws II, that one of the factors to consider would be the status and future outlook of the plankton. That, in one hundred words or less, is the Plankton Theory." - Bill Gross

Anonymous said...

Mama, you do what you have to do I will smack some of the children around till you return!
As for Leona's pile... Feed us anything you have on that place, I visited it a few times when she was in residence and it is overwhelming in size and opulence.
As for the Plaza I snicker like the dog on Wacky Races.

average joe :[-) said...

5:17, don't talk about my home like that! I was able to get a subprime 15k loan on that chevy and my teaser rate is about to expire and I don't know how I'm going to make the payments.

Anonymous said...

Whining, complaining posts like those few posted above are exactly the reason Mama feels compelled to let us know he's taking the day off and doesn't want to hear any whining.
Mama doesn't get paid to do this blog, morons, it's his love and hobby.
Moreover, Mama's sassy personality is one of the main draws to this blog. If you don't like the flavor of the postings, do us all a favor and find another site that suits you better.
Don't listen to the minority morons, Mama. Concentrate on those of us that adore you and have some common sense about how things operate.

Emma Royd said...

Just swinging by Mama to add my voice to all those speaking out in defence of you. You are the best - it is your blog so go girl and write whatever you want on it. I for one will always want to read it and think you are the greatest. Incidentally tho, what does a raw chef actually provide if no cooking is involved apart from tonnes of coleslaw?

TheVinylVillager said...

ugh...Mama has far more patience and tact than I if she bothers to read some of the comments...

methinks some of the children ought to be shipped off to a Swiss boarding school.

I cant put my finger on it, since its not what usually tickles my fancy, but there is something I like very much about Dunnelyn Hall...

Shame to hear about the disaster at the Plaza...it was the first stop this country boy made during his first adult-aged trip to the Big Apple.