Monday, October 20, 2008

A-Rod Officially Lists Park Avenue Condo (and other news about Madonna)


SELLER: Alexander "A-Rod" Rodriguez
LOCATION: Park Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $14,000,000 (list); $9,900,000 (sale)
SIZE: 4,600 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The Ultimate Trophy! Turn-Key – Triple Mint Renovation.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: When married celebrities go splitsville the dee-vorce often results in their high priced homes being sold off so the assets can be divided. The scandalous and public parting of lavishly compensated New York Yankees third baseman Alexander "A-Rod" Rodriquez and his ex-wifey Cynthia is just one example. Amid continuing rumors and reports of A-Rod hooking up with Madonna the Material Mommy, not only have the one time happy couple and parents of three put their Coral Gables waterfront estate on the market with a $14,876,000 asking price, thanks to a very well connected New York tipster we'll call Mister Greenjeans, we've learned that the Park Avenue digs of the recently dee-vorced duo has also popped up on the market with an asking price of $14,000,000.

A-Rod and the ex-Missus scooped up their approximately 4,600 square foot condo at the Trump Park Avenue building in July of 2005 for a reported $7,400,000. The records Your Mama accessed support that purchase price. The Trump Park Avenue is the same utterly banal Costas Kondylis designed apartment tower where records show billionaire drug distributor Stewart Rahr owns a 30th floor unit, the dee-voon Ivanka Trump shacks up in a surprisingly modest apartment on the sixth floor and where Big Daddy Donald Trump has the 4 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom penthouse listed at a silly-stoopid asking price of $51,000,000, up from the forty-five million he was originally asking for the three terrace doo-plex white elephant.

Anyhoo, listing information and a look-see at the Rodriguez floor plan reveals the fourth floor unit includes three principal bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms plus a staff room and bathroom tucked up behind the kitchen and accessed, natch, through the large laundry room.

The long entrance gallery includes a walk in closet and a windowless powder room that looks like a damn murder scene. While the master bedroom has two and the other bedrooms and the library all have their own private poopers, it concerns and worries Your Mama that not a one of them has a window. No. One. Window. Don't tell me that a few matches and one of those fancy fans in the ceiling can take care of last night's take out Chinese, because you all know from experience, they can not.

Listing information also indicates the Rodriguez residence underwent a "triple mint renovation" which has resulted in the formal living room did over and done up as a casual family room with beige sofas, a beige run over the parquet floors, blue curtains and a big boob-toob. The original kitchen and formal dining room spaces have been opened up to each other and now include an all white kitchen with a gorgeous refrigerator (which the children will note does have a window), a giant industrial stove and marble counter tops. Pushed up against the work island is a dining area and beyond that a small sitting area. A large butlers pantry includes ship like wood work and a wine refrigerator that will make and the oenophiles smile and Mister Rodriguez's library has paneled walls and built in shelving for all 12 of his books.

It's been widely rumored and reported that A-Rod leased an apartment at the Time Warner Center several months ago and without his now ex-wife knowing. Your Mama does not have any idea if there's a shred of truth to that, but rarely wrong celebrity real estate gossip Braden Keil recently reported that the filthy rich ball player has his eye on a 4 bedroom spread at the much ballyhooed 15 Central Park West building. Although both A-Rod and Madonna's people deny the rampant rumors of a steamy romance between the two cultural pop icons, 15 CPW happens to be just a few short blocks from the Kabbalah Kween's New York City crib. Make of that what you will children.
Now that Madge and Mister Guy Ritchie have finally copped to their long whispered about dee-vorce plans, one has to wonder now what they'll do with their two-townhouse compound (see above) in the swanky Marylebone district of London where Madge famously installed a very expensive gym where fellow ex-pat gal pal Gwyneth Paltrow is often spotted arriving or departing from what we imagine to be a death defying workout with the freakishly fit 50 year old super star. A local London source we'll call Great Cumberland Kate informs Your Mama that both of Madonna's townhouses appear to be undergoing significant renovations...and interesting, expensive and unusual undertaking in the days and months immediately before the couple announced their impending dee-vorce.

Townhouse Photo: Nataliyaphotographics.com

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oooh, nice oak toilet seat, LOL.

Sandpiper said...

Mama, I immediately zoomed in on that fridge too. Don't see enough of those lately. Fantastic!

Overall, it's a disappointing presentation for such a high potential unit. Yes, the decor will soon be history, but what were they thinking? Can't even call it eclectic; clearly slapped together in a nasty way. And who's responsible for that hot mess reconfiguration of the kitchen / dining room. Mama, please hand me your pencil.

Anonymous said...

No windows in the baths because it was a hotel once, and if you look closely, it's still pretty much laid out like a hotel.

Anonymous said...

It's a bit...um... feminine.... I'm sure Vadge disapproved. I mean an oak can seat? Her Highness always does the deed on a golden throne.

Mugsy Fairweather said...

The reason why Madonna's townhouse is under renovation is because she picked up the neighboring place not too long ago and it was in need of a complete overhaul, I think I might have a link... I'll take a look Mama

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know where I can find the listing for the Florida house?

so_chic_darling said...

Ha funny you should show a piece of Kondylis crap. I just had a screaming fight over the phone with their office because they fucked me over. I told them they had some nerve trying to pretend that they were "returning" goods to me from a "client" when in fact they had USED them in a model apartment to make their plain cheese seem more classy.

so_chic_darling said...

Nobody has EVER tried to return stuff they bought for a model apartment from me EVER!

Jesse B. said...

Mama, while my shit does stick, I have a feeling you are worried that yours stink the worse than others. It probably doesn't. :) Windowless bathrooms can be your friend.

As for the renovations on the double townhouse -- Madonna and Guy have been splitsville for awhile -- just getting around to announcing it. Perhaps she is planning to make NYC her main home again?

Anonymous said...

I must like being poor. The only thing I really like about the A-Rod apartment is the wet bar.

dolly said...

Yes, maybe Guy is going to live in these two houses and he is just going through and removing all her gym equipment and pilates studios?

Also, Mama, you are obsessed with poop, people pooping, the smell of poop, the proper design of poopers, etc. But it's OK.

Anonymous said...

What a dump.

stpaulsnowman said...

I be anon. 3:59 is really Bette Davis.......has to be!

Sandpiper said...

so_chic,

Shame on THEM. That's simply bad form. No excuses. Trust you stood your ground.

Flip said...

Can you imagine being raised with all the GAWDYNESS around you? I would go ballistic and kill my parents...Can someone explain the couch shoved against the kitchen island with a kitchen table shoved against the couch??
UGH!
I want to shoot myself!!

Anonymous said...

So weird to have a tony apartment with no real dining room. I find that too strange. Maybe it is just a crash pad?

Also, Mama, you'd be surprised at how well modern bathroom fans work. One of our bathrooms is windowless and our fan sucks the stink right out of that poop closet in no time at all. No, really.

That bathroom, with or without windows or a high-powered fan, is an atrocity. And the oak toilet seat? You gotta be kidding me!!

luke220 said...

Another Costas Kondylis disaster. No flow to the rooms, no symmetry, no balance.

They should have brought in a feng shui expert. It is not a surprise that they ended up divorced, the unease of living in such a horrible space.

Anonymous said...

A-Rod would appear to have enough money, far too much to be honest, so what is the attraction for him of "granny" Madonna? She looks fifty going on 90 and spends many of her nights, so we are told, sleeping in a zippered suit lathered inside with super expensive body cream. Doesn't sound sexually attractive to me at all. More like a mummy killing time while waiting to be embalmed.

Ms Frivolity said...

Gwynnie, Gwynnie........GWYNNIE! I need you in here to help me zip up my overnight moisturizing body bag, please help me sweetie Guy refuses to do it anymore and went to his pub to eat steak and kidney pie and he thinks I'm gross!

Anonymous said...

Ex WAMU Ceo flipping out in Seattle.

http://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/0-Federal-Ave-E-98102/unit-xxxx/home/17371423

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Anonymous said...

enormous wealth + spam-sucking trailer trash= this dump

Anonymous said...

Hi swimming pools you cheap cunt. Why don't you pay for an ad with Mama?

Anonymous said...

The apartment is tacky -- it goes really well with the Trump brand.

Anonymous said...

A-Rod.....stay single if you want to hang on to the rest of your money..............

Anonymous said...

Because anon 7:28 PM, believing in tabloid shit is for brainless zombies with hemmorhoids. Now, go flush yourself and this ms. frivolity cunt, mama abhors stinking poops.

And btw, that red pooper is fantastic-- if tacky is your thing.

Anonymous said...

This doesn't bother me. I actually think the red wallpaper is hilarious. Well, spend a bit to refurbish the whole thing and it would be bad.

Anonymous said...

As guys Mum said the other day in th papers, Guy knew what he was getting into when he married at that end of the market!

Tallulah said...

Madge dahling........TEMPUS FUGIT........before long your money and fame won't be enough to attract a decent bedfellow....let alone a husband.

Anonymous said...

The divorce has provided us with a plethora of marvelous put downs. I especially liked the one attributed to Guy, saying that making love to Madonna was like cuddling a piece of gristle.

Anonymous said...

So for $14 mil, I get to entertain my guests in the kitchen like a suburban housewife?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MADGE_FAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ said...

i would love to have the floor plans to the Madonna townhouses

lil' gay boy said...

Christ ––– is that a stomach on the wall???