Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Peter Guber's Hawaiian Tara Plantation


SELLER: Peter and Tara Guber
LOCATION: Papa'a Road, Anahola, Kauai, HI
PRICE: $46,500,000
SIZE: 171 acres, 15,000 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms (main house)
DESCRIPTION: ...Enter your gated compound and lazily drive down a country road to your spacious 15,000 square foot classic Hawaiian style main home with two 4,000 square foot guest bungalows all of which have been tastefully furnished by the famous California designer Waldo Fernandez. The main home has 6 bedrooms and 8.5 bathroom with his and her private living rooms. Exceptional wood finishes, a professional kitchen, and generous ocean view lanais allow for easy island living. A swimming pool, beach cabana, yoga studio, a 3 bedroom caretakers home, horse stables, numerous fenced corrals, super large workshop and barns add to this perfect estate...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: When Christmas comes, heaps and scores of rich and famous folks head for the islands, and according to one Hawaii bound source we'll all The Wicked Wahine, many pack their teeny bikinis and bee line for the island of Kauai where they shack up in fabulous estates and resorts around Kilauea on the rugged northeastern coast. Before she jetted off to her own ocean front rental, The Wicked Wahine whispered to Your Mama that this year the island locals can expect to wait hand and foot on such Hollywood luminaries as Ben and Christine Stiller, prolific novelist and television writer Michael Crichton, former Bond stud Pierce and wifey Kelly Brosnan, the Beastie Boys, and Sex and The City's "milk it for all she can" Sarah Jessica Parker, her Broadway baby huzband Matthew Broderick and their boy child.

And of course, the entire island of Kauai knows to expect fabulously rich producer Peter Guber and his yoga nut wifey Tara, who have spent the last several years trying to unload their massive Papa'a Bay Road estate called Tara Plantation for a blistering $46,500,000.

Mister and Missus Guber bought the 171 acre spread in 1998 for a reported $7,200,000 and proceeded to build their own version of a Hawaiian heaven that overlooks Papa'a Bay. The vast estate includes everything a media mogul might want or need for a few weeks winter getaway, including a monstrous 15,000 square foot plantation style main house with wide verandas and boatloads of bamboo furniture and flower printed fabrics. Although the main house provides 6 bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms (including dual master baths and, strangely, his and her private living rooms in the master suite), two 4,000 square foot guest houses ensure the Gubers are not peeved by pesky holiday house guests who might fornicate and/or snore loudly in the guest bedrooms of the main house.

Anyone who is familiar with or has bothered to read anything about the Gubers know they were doing the downward facing dog and the warrior pose long before Yoga became ridiculously trendy with the Hollywood set. Missus Guber is such a devotee that she has developed her own somewhat sensual practice called Contact Yoga, where couples contort and pretzel each other into upsetting and uncomfortable looking shapes and poses. So naturally, Tara Plantation features a Yoga House where the Gubers and their guests can get centered and get in touch with their chakras before dressing up in their grass skirts and downing a few pitchers of mai-tais.

The Guber's getaway also features riding stables for the horsey house guests, a tennis court for the sporteef minded moochers, a long stretch of gorgeous sandy beach for those few in LaLa land who tan the old fashioned way, and naturally, a swimming pool is provided for all those fraidy-cat weekend whiners who won't swim in the bathtub warm waters of Papa'a Bay.

The Gubers have been trying to unload their impressive piece of Polynesian paradise for years, and Your Mama is hardly the first to discuss their lush and dee-luxe property. Not only was the high priced hideaway once (but no longer) near the top the list of the world's most expensive homes, much ink has been laid down over the long and bitter battle waged between the meditating magnates and local surfers and activists who were all kinds of pissed when the Gubers blocked an access road to the beach that ran across their property.

Oh lawhd have mercy children, the Hawaiian locals do NOT take kindly to some rich Hollywood haole cutting off their access to the waves. Oh no. As The Wicked Wahine explains it, "The local surfing rights never get fucked with," and in true American style, lawsuits were filed, much bitching and moaning ensued, and it all ended in Federal Court. Recent reports indicate that the Gubers won the war when the judge ruled the Gubers do indeed have clear title to the land, including the disputed roadway. Which of course means they're free and legal to prevent surfboard toting beach goers from trekking across their back lawn to get to the beach. Luckily for the locals, there is another access point to that particular beach, however it reportedly involves a potentially dangerous climb over slippery rocks.

Anyhoo, now that the lawsuits have been put to bed, perhaps a fabulously rich tycoon with a thing for swaying palm trees and extreme privacy will now feel free to scoop the place up for it's $46,500,000 asking price. As an added bonus to security conscious millionaires, Your Mama hears through the gossip grapevine that that the whole place is wired up like Fort Knox and that a super security system allows Mister Guber to know when a terlit flushes in Kauai while ensconced in the couples sprawling home base in Los Angeles, which sits privately and perfectly up behind the exclusive Hotel Bel Air.

So that the children get a full spectrum idea of the Guber's vast real estate wealth, in 2004 the Gubers divested themselves of another mammoth weekend ranch located just 10 minutes outside Aspen, the searingly expensive winter celebrity haven where gals like Mariah and Goldie strut the streets in full length fur coats and the airport is forever clogged with the shiny Gulfstream 550s of tycoons and honchos of all stripes. The karmic couple took in a reported $46,000,000 when they sold their 650 acre Mandalay Ranch, which included a 15,000 square foot main house with 7 bedrooms and 7.5 bathrooms, a screening room and an indoor gym and basketball court.

Your Mama is breathless thinking of the vast amount of money required to maintain a home of this scale and magnitude in Hawaii. Certainly it costs more each year to keep this place afloat than most of the well earning children make in a year. So y'all just think about that while Your Mama hooks ourself up to the oxygen tank, takes some nerve medication, and breathes.

37 comments:

average joe said...

greed greed greed !!! well at least the uber rich can afford to wait years until the market turns around to get their sky high prices.

lil" gay boy said...

Tara from "Gone With The Wind?"

Mandalay from "Rebecca?"

Don't these uber-riches know any original house names?

The Kauai manse does have good bones BUT . . .

The color scheme is soooo haole as the lovely tanned, hard-bodied natives would say - and to block access for the surfers? Doris Duke must be spinning in her grave over the injustice of it all.

Big Gay Decorator and I were down that way not too long ago and absolutely love the natives - you just got to respect them for their fortitude in tolerating us mainlanders.

I don't care how honestly or dishonestly the Gubers came by their mega-millions, someone needs to bitch-slap this couple upside the head for their excesses.

Anonymous said...

Nice place but I hate Hawaii so not exactly for me. Big deal if they blocked surfers, if they owned the land then they had the right to block access roads! Geez, beach blocking has happened in Malibu a million times - it's nothing new here, there & everywhere ...

aunt mary said...

What sad and hollow creatures, screaming and raging against their mortality, a bigger house, maybe a mountain, an endless beach, a hotel lobby filled with empty chairs, how about a mantra and some rock hard gluts? Dancing as fast as they can and yet..........so soon gone and forgotten. A lesson here on how to spend your lives, never mind your money.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. That's really all I have to say about that.

West Coastian said...

Here's some photos of the Mandalay Ranch:

Mandalay

For the Hawaii property, there's a video tour here:

Video Tour

Anonymous said...

Hopefully it sits on the market for years.....so they can pay the upkeep costs............

pch said...

It's kinda like wandering into great big Tommy Bahama.

That living room has a ceiling way too low for its other dimensions.

Anonymous said...

Such beautiful luxury. Tasteful and relaxed. I love it.

Viva! said...

It is just too big...but aside from the size it's gorgeous and I love it.

Joey from the block.... said...

Oh Mami... while you breathe.... i shall puke. When was the last time this place was worked over by the vast army of gay decorators these people have?

keep it. Let it server as a crash pad for all the grown menz that feel the urge to live in a huge ugly frat house.

Anonymous said...

It is large but very gracious, not overdone. It is relaxed and elegant. I could see Pepito serving mai tais pool side.

A true party house in the warm Hawaiian sun. I love it.

aunt mary said...

Just curious, is there a rule in the realtor handbook that one must wear a Burberry plaid scarf when showing a house?

sandpiper said...

Aunt Mary,

Maybe it's thought to infer prosperity. I dunno, but I can spot a knock-off from 20 feet. Meow.

sandpiper said...

In his business world, I doubt Mr. Guber would ever approve a marketing plan to support $46.5 outlay without careful review. So why wouldn't that same principle apply to marketing his property. This listing is a mess. The house is a mess (sans bedroom and entry), the photography is a joke. No doubt there are beautiful elements to be showcased, but where are they? For every singular knock-your-socks-off listing Our Mama brings us, there are 10 of these! Sure, luxury price points have a limited buyer pool and take longer to move, but that shouldn't mean you don't do everything you can to optimize the initial visual impact, which is the big hook. If I were selling this property, I'd look beyond the Burberry scarf before I sign any listing agreement. I'd want to see a portfolio, backed by measurable results. Sorry. I must be in a mood today. But really, I think it makes sense.

Anonymous said...

testing

caveman said...

i could be very comfy in the guest house.

joe shmoe said...

i was at this property 3 weeks ago... the house is simple and elegant but perhaps too big.the location and the amount of acres available is why 46 million is almost justified. papaa bay is arguably the most beautiful place in hawaii.

so_chic_darling said...

Greetings Mama from the W Hotel Diamond head Hololulu,Latin lover and I are having some fun in the sun,and quite frankly a lovely hotel room with a lanai overlooking Waikiki is enough space for both of us.Who needs all that space it just makes the locals hate you more and more.Did you know that nobody owns any of the land in Hawaii they just lease it from the Bishop estate,that is the estate of the former royal family.It will take another 100 years to sort out all the land claims here and is one of the most complicated cases in US history.
Aloha,over and out from paradise.

Aunt mary said...

Sandpiper, thank you for your comment. Wearing knockoffs makes a sad statement about the wearer's self respect. If you can't afford the Burberry, buy the best scarf you can afford. A well made object has integrity in and of itself. It shouldn't be made to seem to be something it's not. What is the point about scarves? It seems to be a symptom of the duplicity underlying much of the effort to move real estate. I'd make a lousy salesman. Also I agree that the marketing of this house is declasse`. If I owned it you wouldn't find pictures of it on the internet. For all the good it's done them so far I'd say splashing pictures of it around the world cheapens it. It should be offered discreetly to the likely buyers as you would offer a fine painting or jewel. These realtors would be wise to take a leaf from the book of the fine art traffiker. Veil it in mystery. Well you get my point. Ms. Frivolity could coach the seller.

Caveman, ultimately one could be happy in a grass hut on this beach. Isn't the whole point of being in this paradise a communion with the perfection of nature. Who needs shelter?

So_Chic_ sweetheart, I've missed your always informative bon mots. Interesting about the land rights. It reminds me of the Gardiner family's grant from the English throne of their island. The last Gardiner is without heir. Also I'd like to know about the land grants in California from the Spanish throne to families who still own them. Anyone know who these families are?

sandpiper said...

Aunt Mary,
I love a cozy soft wool scarf for warmth against cold biting wind. Had a Burberry scarf for eons, but gave it away once it became cliché. You’re singing to the choir on the global display of high-end real estate, but it’s become the primary first impression by which to proceed. We couldn’t stop it if we tried. It’s where the game has settled, but it still creeps me out on a personal level. I imagine this property has been on the whisper circuit for some time. But with prevailing trends as they are, the go-no-go to next step starts and stops here by a high percentage. This is precisely why these properties need to be marketed for that nano-second of yes or no. That led to my diatribe on the importance of maxing out a property’s deliverables. To me, it is the biggest ROI factor. The owner needs to take "ownership" of every element that effects the initial impression. For luxury properties, and intangible profits to be realized, there should be respect for awareness of capital lay down on a talented architectural photographer, stager, et al. The monetary down stroke (ROI) is pittance compared to first impression leads otherwise forever lost. (I'm exhausted. Whew! Group Hugs)

lil' gay boy said...

Let's face it - the internet is not only for those with a prurient interest in how the other half lives, but a light speed marketing ploy for those too lazy to properly stage a potential property.

Why spend the mega bucks to do it up right with some semblance of class when any first year real estate agent can point to some pretty pictures on the internet?

so_chic_darling said...

Aunt Mary if you missed me it is because,and here comes a little reveal,I own a shop that sells original one of a kind objects.I can say no more as I'm not sure that I want my true identity known.Anyway the Christmas season almost killed me and I was working seven days a week all of December dealing with the general public.I mention my shop because I have been ripped off by every mass retailer from Pottery Barn to Target and even the British chain store Marks and Spencers.Do I care?No because the rich will always want the originals.
So here I am in Hawaii happy to be able to be here in the State where my American story started when I arrived from London as a cold and starving refugee at the tender age of 21.Mahalo Hawaii and thank you America It has been a wonderful life!
Happy New Year everybody.

aunt mary said...

Oh, So_Chic_Darling, do have a nice rest. Dealing with the public can make you lose your soul if you're not careful. (My father was in retail). What a story you must have to tell! Please work on those memoirs, if not for publication, for the younger Darlings to read someday. Now it makes sense that your granny would be hobnobbing with Howard Carter. Oh, what a country this is! We steal all the best people from other countries. No wonder everyone in the world hates us. Pour yourself a lime infused beverage and wear your sunscreen at all times. Happy New Year, dear.

Sandpiper, how right you are about the way the world works today. Decision making is all done by flow chart matrix. But I still believe in the heart and the gut for solid advice.

Anonymous said...

Just came back from two weeks on the North shore of Kauai, outside Hanalei, where we stayed with family. This place is known locally with great antipathy for the owners, who are generally viewed as embodying the exact opposite of the generous "Aloha spirit." The locals are happy these selfish people are selling and moving on - they clearly don't understand the basics of a happy life. "So rich they don't know what's what anymore." If you piss off the locals on this island, you can forget about settling down to some nice island time.
Way over-priced, so we're not surprised it's sitting on the market.

sandpiper said...

One closing thought from little me on alienating the surfers. Shame, shame, shame on you. Only because our dear so_chic_darling (and a very happy new year to you too!!) has spilled a little something personal, I will too. I lived some great ocean-front years in Malibu, and if I know anything, it is that surfers, on the whole, are a gentle and caring band of brothers and sisters. They are not interested in anything beyond the path that leads to the next big wave. I realize camping on the beach was the owner's issue here. But, I'm sure that had this been handled without the court system, your neighboring surfers would have peacefully obliged that request. And, they would have afforded the largely absentee owners with safe-keeping eyes and ears to guard against potential intruders and hooligans. Not that the owners need it, but a surfer will give you the shirt off their back if only you ask. (Whew, again.)

Anonymous said...

Peter Guber is a jerk. He just fired a bunch of low-level people from his company, Mandalay Entertainment, a week before Christmas with no bonuses. Maybe he should change his name to Ebenezer Scrooge.

The spirit of King Kamehameha said...

All of you who come to visit and live in my Islands are welcome with Aloha and the love of the Hawaiian people,but should you be to lustful of the land Lady Pele will consume you with her wrath and fire.

Yoga is for rich white jerks said...

So the Guber cow likes yoga no surprise there,but did the children know that,according to an article in the New Yorker Indians find our fascination with yoga very funny,in India yoga has,as the writer of the article says,aboutas much participation as shaking is practiced by the shakers in America.Do you know any shakers?
Ha ha ha all you stupid white yoga people,ha ha ha the joke's on you.

Bitter Spinster said...

Too much bamboo furniture.

Queen Lili'uokalani said...

I place the curse of Lady Pele upon you and your wretched family,may your pale skin burn in the Hawaiian sun.Be gone and do not return.

aunt mary said...

Ditto to all the curses on these people's heads. There's nothing more dangerous than stupid rich people.

So_Chic and Sandpiper: Your little reveals are quite unspecific and that's wise. Even though we have fun sharing here and I for one would not stalk you and hide in the bushes outside your windows, the ax murderers out there looking for some good decorating hints might stumble in here and go "Aha! I know just where that is!" And as the saying goes "What is said on the internet, stays on the internet."

sandpiper said...

Auntie -- point taken! TY!

Anonymous said...

The ceilings are far too low, it makes the rooms look oppressive and the akward dimensions aren't helped by the decor

Anonymous said...

I live next door and would love to have this property. I do not judge the Gubers. I appreciate their abundance. If I buy it I would redecorate it of course. I would open it up to all the creative people of kauai and turn it into an artist colony. Fantastic. All the surfers and local people would be welcome.

alec said...

My grandparents owned it until Gruber got it. I went there as a kid until about 10 years ago. I thought we sold it for close to 3 million but maybe it was 7. It kills me to see how nice it is now. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

I heard he made all his money selling Ecsphoria on the Internet and the Producing business is just a front. Anyway, this property is far from the most beautiful place in the world, which is undoubtedly the North Shore of Kaua'i.