Saturday, December 29, 2007

Ryan Seacrest's Redo in Nichols Canyon


BUYER: Ryan Seacrest
SELLER: Kevin Costner
LOCATION: Nichols Canyon Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $11,500,00 (sale)
SIZE: 8,172 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Say what you will regarding the much speculated about sexual ambiguity of the frosted, fake tanned and well frocked Mister Ryan Seacrest, but he's richer than the damn Pope and he recently completed a pricey and full scale re-decorative redo of the natty Nichols Canyon casa he purchased in April of 2006 from smug (and formerly sexy) Oscar winning actor Kevin Costner.

Chill out children, Your Mama is well aware that this purchase is O.L.D. in the world of celebrity real estate, but given that Mister Seacrest recently debuted his overhauled Spanish style crib in the shiny pages of Architectural Digest, Your Mama thought that all the children who do not take the time read or spend the money on fussy interior decoration glossies might like a peek into the metrosexual hunny's private lair high in the hills above the Hollywood world in which he has inexplicably become a major player.

For the privilege of living in Kevin Costner's sloppy real estate seconds, the manicured Mister Seacrest reportedly outbid pop diva Gwen Stafani, and property records reveal the toothy radio host dumped $11,500,000 for the gated flag lot parcel that includes a 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom, 8,172 square foot main house with a glammy motor court sitting at the end of a long celebrity style driveway. There is plenty of garage space for Mister Seacrest's pimped out whips, a tennis court with a long view over Los Angeles, staff quarters, a gym (natch), and a gorgeous swimming pool (not pictured) perfectly sunk into a swath of deep green grass as well tended as Your Mama reluctantly imagines Mister Seacrest's nether regions and naughty bits to be.

According to the January 2008 article in Architectural Digest (you must subscribe to read it online puppies), the house, dubbed Casa di Pace, was worked over by well known interior designer Jeff Andrews, whose website quotes Mister Seacrest as saying, "He understood the feeling of peace I wanted to capture in my home. The house now feels timeless due to his ability to clearly capture and execute MY vision." (Emphasis added by Your Mama.) So it would seem to Your Mama that what you are really looking at up there in the photos children, is Mister Seacrest's own interior design "vision" made manifest by a well paid shopper and fluffer.

Now children, quite frankly Your Mama does not care which way Mister Manicure swings and it is certainly none of our beeswax, but the man shops like Katie Holmes, primps like Miss America, works and colors his hair like nobody's bizness, guides his very accomplished decorator and still he wonders why the world thinks he might be friend of Dorothy? Puh-leeze!

And just what does Your Mama think of Mister Seacrest's House of Peace? Well, children, it's certainly decorated, isn't it? While it's all a little fussy for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, the interior spaces have a cozy and intimate feeling and a nicely considered and muted palette–except for that not very nice burgundy color in the entrance rotunda which we're not feeling very positive about. Truckloads of mammoth carved wood furniture have been paired with velvet this and leather thats in an effort to create that unique brand of interior decorating "masculinity" that can only be achieved with the deft hands of a professional (and most likely nice gay) decorator and the fat bank account of a sexually ambiguous single man. Yes children, it's lovely, comfortable and "masculine," but it's also about as butch as Mister Seacrest.

Now that Mister Seacrest has allowed the world into his home via Architectural Digest, Your Mama wonders if he's considering selling the place. It has been our experience that celebs and quasi celebs who allow the glossies and tabs into their home for extensive photo shoots often put their houses on the market shortly thereafter. We'll see. But until such time arrives that Mister Seacrest decides to move and and execute his decorating vision somewhere else, Your Mama wishes him heaps of pace in his casa.

57 comments:

lil' gay boy said...

I dare not show this to BGD (not after this morning's goings-on, children!) - Miss Seacrest gets up his nose like nobody's business . . .

No matter how deep his Kate Spade bag is, no amount of money can buy class; quality, yes, but class is that indefinable essence that can make a junk shop find look like it belongs next to an 18th century bombe chest.

And what is up with that pair of tufted chairs in that beam-ceilinged bedroom? They look like something "President" Musharraf would have had in his "throne" room (read - terlit).

God (or Allah) bless her, Benezihr Bhutto did not always exhibit the requisite taste in abodes where she chose to be a guest, but she would have restored some class to a troubled nuclear power on the Asian continent.

Instead we're stuck with Pakistan's egocentric lover of the "Members Only" look.

He and Miss Seacrest should hit it off like a house afire.

Anonymous said...

For god's sake. He's young. He's filthy rich. He's gay. It's just heartbreaking that this house is how it manifests itself.

Boring!

Viva! said...

So he IS gay...what a hideosity (thank you Joan Collins for that amazing word)...it's a Moroccan/Thai/Italian/Hollywoodian wet dream.

And the fact that he bought it from Kevin Costner makes it even worse. Two douche bags for the price of one!

Anonymous said...

Well...I don't know...it's an okay interior I suppose. Your're correct Mama in stating that the whole "ambience" is supposed to be masculine and it reminds me so much of the home that Rock Hudson owned where the entire place looked like a Middle Eastern throne room.

More than anything, it doesn't look or feel like a home. The whole interior looks like the inside of an exclusive, and very expensive, bed-and-breakfast...supposedly inviting and comforting but, ultimately, sterile and lifeless.

If Ryan likes it...who am I to bitch? It's his house. But I've yet to understand this never ending fascination with bathtubs...give me a walk-in shower and a hot tub somewhere outdoors, close to the wetbar of course, and you can keep the bathtub. Thanks again Mama.
Peace
JD

pch said...

This looks like a woman's house, or one in which a woman controlled design decisions with the occasional, grudging concession for a man who shared the space.

I could deal if this is how my girlfriend wanted to decorate -- I'm more into architecture than interior design -- but I honestly wouldn't approve 99 percent of this if I were a single guy with the proverbial nice gay decorator. I like the blue paint in the bedroom and the rug in the green room. That's it. Everything else strikes me as decidedly feminine.

And it's great if Seacrest likes it that way, or if this is his idea of masculine. It's his house, not mine.

Sandpiper said...

Cozy. I‘m so ready to wassail down in that medieval dining room this New Years Eve. It’s not Beidermeier, but do we care? I appreciate all the high-brow patina that’s going on.

Seriously (but I AM serious in P#1), there are some beautiful furnishing in this home; owned or borrowed; still there or gone; doesn’t matter. I luv it. Granted, not a new build, so some architecturally dated schematics are what they are. The neatest part is ID Jeff Andrews’ willingness to work with his clients -- on their terms, as Our Mama so astutely informed. That’s what makes a house a home. Mr. Andrews’ portfolio showcases amazing versatility, along with his own trademark touches. What transpired with the already gorgeous windows is seriously perfect. I’m sure both Mr.S and Mr.A slid that furniture back into place, and tossed those pillows against a wall once the shoot crew evacuated. Then, settled back for a nice cold something in lead-cut-crystal barware ... and yarned about a day well accomplished. Bravo!

John said...

You're killing me Larry. Ryan Seacrest might not love women but he sure loves lots of chairs. I'm all for seating but try being more creative than 1,000 chairs.

aunt mary said...

Ok, I give. Who's Larry? I think they crowded everything together to get it in the photo. So he could show off his vision. It just looks too busy. So about curtains. Am I wrong to think that only billowy curtains should puddle? It seems that these curtains should maintain their straight lines to the floor and then stop. I know it's obsessive but I go nuts if curtains don't fall in an artful manner. But I think there are some lovely, and yes, feminine vignettes here.

sandpiper said...

Hey Aunt Mary,
Yah ... Who is Larry? Hummm?
I think these windows rock. Even if treatments are pinch pleat, reminds me of a nice drape on mens trowsers. Perfect break. I'd never seen this technique used in this way, but do like it. Especially like rod hardware placed well above the window framing. Works for me {IMHO}, but again, have unconditional respect that at any given point, we may beg to differ on our toe-to-toe impeccable taste. <3

lil' gay boy said...

Yes, he's young, rich and, uh em, single - but my gut instinct tells me he was too busy staring at Kevin's crotch when he signed the papers for in excess of $11M for a house on a flag lot, despite its good bones.

It's obvious from the decor that he got one of his galpals to help with the big decisions - there's barely a trace of metrosexual masculinity in the entire house.

Ryan, honey, it's time to come out of the closet (lord knows there's enough of them in this house!) Just pick a door and kick it down already; Hollywood will still welcome you with open arms.

Just one tip - please get rid of that poster for French cognac; if I see that in one more Hollywood home I will be forced to scratch my eyeballs out.

aunt mary said...

Sandpiper, I'm in the thinking stage of doing new window covers. So I'm always looking for ideas. I do know I want to be able to pull the curtains back to completely reveal the windows in the day and pull them closed at night. But, to puddle, or not to puddle, that is the question. I'm at the tipping point to not puddle. Now that everyone is asleep I'll just shut up.

so_chic_darling said...

I like the 1950s gold leaf Italian palm leaf on the wall and nothing else.

Anonymous said...

I hate it all

pch said...

"You're killing me, Larry" probably references a catch phrase used by a discount mattress company in its TV spots here in Los Angeles. (The general premise is something like an accountant who can't believe the CEO offers such insane deals.) I'm guessing John means the Seacrest place looks like a bargain warehouse with all those chairs.

Gay Boy, I'm with you on that seemingly ubiquitous poster. But I wonder if a flag lot is preferred by some for privacy and security purposes.

lil' gay boy said...

PCH, in our neck of the woods a flag lot means a narrow right-of-way through a former estate of substantial size that leads to a land-locked parcel.

Unless said parcel is of adequate size (a dozen or more acres is rule of thumb here), it means that you're surrounded on all four sides by lookie loos poking their reconstructed noses into your private business - no thanks!

Their only redeeming quality is that it allows the 5th and 6th generations of North Shore blue bloods to retain ownership of the family manse without having to sell out to a "developer" hell bent on cramming McMansions on 1/4 acre lots (under the guise of "open green space" - God bless our 2 acre zoning), thus preserving some truly outstanding fin-de-siecle architecture.

Without this less than ideal compromise, what would have happened to our Coe Halls, Terrapin Hills, and Old Westbury Gardens?

caveman said...

a quick comparison of the seacrest & martin properties makes me think that we could have a match.
what a cute couple they would be.
somebody connected, make that happen.

I'm Just Saying said...

All due respect, but I think some of you are just being sour simply to be funny and because of your dislike of Seacrest you feel it's fun to rip his house apart.

This house, from a decorating point of view, is not as bad as you're saying. It may not be to your taste and it's obviously been heavily staged for the photos, but some of you make it sound like it's a tacky mess and it's simply not.

Also, while I would agree that this house is not as masculine looking as Seacrest might have hoped (and prayed?), what female do you know who has a pair of leather club chairs in her bedroom? Or a pair of leather wingbacks in her library?

In my estimation the apricot sofa paired with the dusty blue chairs in the living room is a lovely combination. The chairs in the entrance hall are totally extraneous, and other that that group of orchids, the dining room is hardly the dining room of a woman unless she has a husband. Ditto on the master bed.

The pale creme room, well, agreed, it's lady like for sure. But that gold palm thing above the desk is fantastic.

What this does not look like to me is the home of a young rich Hollywood man who wears tshirts and sneakers with his suits. But it is not the bastion of feminine bad taste some of you are making it out to be. Just my two cents.

P.S. I agree with the person who wanted to claw his eyes out over the Cognac poster...cliche and boring. And to the person having the curtain puddling issues...i too think this looks nice, the slight break.

caveman said...

if you can show me a room with a couch in front of a big tv, a grill on the back deck & the fridge is full of beer & steak, then i could tolerate the rest of it.

Anonymous said...

I nbever, EVER thought I would say this. But I agree with Caveman.

Anonymous said...

I love this property and the fact that it's an ultra secure and private flag lot, the gorgeous character filled roomy older house, and the Nichols Canyon location. The decor is not what I'd have chosen and think Gwen Stefani's vision for it would have been alot more interesting, but Seacrest is the one who lives there, so it's what it should be for him. One of the very few celebrity residences I've ever seen I'd enjoy owning myself. Thankyou very much for providing the interior photos Mama. I've always wanted to know what it looks like inside. Made my day.

Sandpiper said...

Aunt Mary: To puddle? WWMD (What would Mama do?).

I'm just saying: Said it well.

Lil' buddy: I'm impressed!

pch said...

Hey Gay Boy. I get your logic. In the canyons, they often have open space behind, or are at a different elevation than adjoining properties. So they don't necessarily feel hemmed in.

Just Saying, I can't really say I know any guy who would ask for a delicate club chair half-covered in that striped fabric, or a wingback chair that flares in that way. Both would fall under the "concession" category I mentioned. Masculine forms, generally speaking, but a feminine execution. Ditto the dining room. I'm about the same age as Seacrest, work in the media, creative atmosphere, blah, blah, blah, and even my gay friends would give me hell if I put that palm thing on my wall.

For an ostensibly straight guy in his 30s, and one who makes such a big deal about his professed orientation, the dude made a lot of really, really strange choices. I rarely comment on interior design, but the disconnect between his PR and the vibe of this project is, I think, noteworthy.

luke220 said...

I don't see one spot that looks comfortable to sit in. The lighting is also terrible- there are no lamps by the bedroom club chairs. Even the bedside lamps wouldn't provide very good light for reading. Maybe Ryan does all his reading during the day.

lil' gay boy said...

caveman, luke220 & pch - you all hit the nail on the head in your own unique way (Ryan ACTUALLY read?!?!?):

Without a comfortable sofa and a big screen TV, just what kind of a home can this be?

And although by now there appears to be no doubt that a cursory glance shows a home heavily staged from baseboards to rafters (insidious throws included), there is nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING that says "I'm a MAN" about this place.

Other than the newspaper on the ottoman and the oh-so-casually draped towel in the bathroom, even every goddamn speck of dust is in its place. I can hear Miss Seacrest screeching, "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" if you so much as picked up one of the books "casually" placed next to a convenient chair (one of thousands, as John blogged earlier). Those dining room chairs look to be about as comfortable as the ones the nuns forced me to sit in during my all-too-frequent detentions.

It's like no one actually LIVES here; even Falaise (where the misguided, Nazi-sympathizing Lindbergh stayed the night before his historic flight), frozen in time after the Guggenheims left it to posterity, has more life in it and still looks like they just stepped out momentarily to check the proofs of the latest Newsday (which they founded in that very living, and I stress, LIVING, room).

Two more things: first the "puddling" question; I've consulted Big Gay Decorator on this one and he and I both agree that the fabric is all wrong and there is not enough of it to "puddle" properly. Just as the break in a man's pants should fall mid-calf, there needs to be enough fabric of the correct weight and hand for the proper effect. The fabric of these drapes is just too stiff for this effect; BGD feels they were just poorly measured and hastily put up for the shoot.

As for pairing Miss Ryan and Miss Ricky - PULEEZE! Ricky's a free-wheeling, life loving young stud who never makes an issue about his sexuality, which is how it should be, but Miss Seacrest is a paranoid closet case who thinks his "secret" is safe - and has even resorted to such shenanigans as ripping open Kathy Griffin's blouse at an awards ceremony to prove he's a "man".

BTW, gotta love our Miss Kathy - she handled it well (made some remark about his first time touching a woman!).

Finally, Mama, please help our Miss Kathy spruce up her house a little (if ever a celebrity's house looked lived in, it's hers). With all her gay friends, surely one of them, with your kind guidance, can put her on the right track to make her home truly beautiful.

O.K. children, I've ranted enough and my fingers are worn to the bone - sorry to be so long-winded but I had nightmares about this decor all night and just had to purge some personal demons.

luke220 said...

Thank you, LGB.

Speaking of Kathy, I just think that the house is dreadful- so cold more like a hotel lobby (in Phoenix) on the inside. Has her mom's place on Keith been put on the market since her father's death?

lil' gay boy said...

Granted, Miss Kathy's place is way over the top, but then so is she; given her close ties with Lance Bass (and his house of horrors), it would be like comparing the Plaza with Trump's Taj Mahal. Neither a cozy environ, but one much more welcoming than the other.

Her Mom had two condos, the one she was living in before Kathy's dad died, and the one in West Hollywood they discussed ransoming Kathy with should she have been captured on her USO tour to Afghanistan.

I would think Miss Kathy, astute business woman she is, may be holding on to both properties for now.

Apricot Dusty Blue said...

Under all this fabric I am a man a real live butch man who likes girls.

sandpiper said...

Lil' Buddy
Looks like we need to go toe to toe on this steaming break issue!

You say: "Just as the break in a man's pants should fall mid-calf..."

I say that would look silly.And furthermore, Mister, I have way too much time on my hands today! So there! :)

http://men.style.com/gq/fashion/styleguy/suitsandblazers/529

lil' gay boy said...

Sorry,Sandpiper, I'm just going by what an kindly, old tailor on Saville Row told me a while back (who's been in the business for 50+ years and knew enough to ask which side I "dressed" on).

Current style guides like the one you quoted aside, what's been good enough for the Windors all these years (Turnbull & Asser, etc.) is good enough for me and mine.

Anonymous said...

Well, the house certainly belongs in Architectural Digest. And, by the way, that is not a compliment. The house is GROSS!

Chuck said...

the posh gay chap is a mildly entertaining imposter. his/her facts are sloppily researched and deliciously delusional. fantastic foddar.

lil' gay boy said...

Dearest Chuck (love that name!)

Posh? As in port out, starboard home?

Sadly those glory days are long behind us . . .

Just a tip: one lives life, not researches it; jump in with both feet, honey, and get soaking wet! And trust me, I AM the real deal.

You may also find a delicious delusion here and there makes the 21st century almost bearable.

Thanks for sharing, though - I like to keep my friends entertained.

chuck said...

dear sir you are sadly tragic. seek help for your requisite to appear posh as you are clearly a bore.

so_chic_darling said...

Velvet,velvet everywhere and not a drop of taste.

chas said...

friends?

Old Hag in a house said...

I'm calling the local news,my congressman,senator and CNN if you come near my house one more time!
And you can tell my bitch daughter that I'll burn the house down before she gets her hands on it!

so_chic_darling said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lil' gay boy said...

"dear sir you are sadly tragic. seek help for your requisite to appear posh as you are clearly a bore."

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck . . not sure of your use of the word requisite in this context, but, oh well . . . to each his own.

I seem to have touched a nerve somewhere but please, put your mind at ease and simply skip over my posts - problem solved.

We're all about Mama's love here, not haters.

luke220 said...

Some of us love you, LGB.

pch said...

It's my requisite to say Gay Boy is clearly a class act.

lil' gay boy said...

Thanks, dear friends - you know who you are . . .

Now let's all get our beauty sleep and dream of the goodies Mama will undoubtedly uncover for us on the morrow . . .

Babe Parish said...

1. lamp-mania.
2. accessory-mania.
3. chair-mania
4. persnickity.
5. he's the new merv griffin.
6. he's channelling eva gabor.

Anonymous said...

Well, it is certainly eclectic. I do like the calm of the bathroom. Still, how much time will this guy spend here, since he's the host of most everything on the planet.

It's nice.

Anonymous said...

babe parish-luv the name btw. Very concise and apt. Way too much crap everywhere on this stage set.

Anonymous said...

babe parish: Seacrest wishes he was Merv Griffin...he'll never be Merv! NEVER!

However, he certainly is channeling Eva Gabor...high on Moroccan crack!

lil' gay boy said...

Just finished the article in the print-version of Architectural Digest (didn't get around to it because of the holidays); Mama left out a few pictures and some pertinent info, in the interest of space and time, I assume.

First, there's the picture of Miss Ryan in the entryway, leaning against the doorjamb looking all "butch" in his untucked shirt, jeans & trainers.

Seems Miss Seacrest found his designer (who we have nothing bad to say about, per se) from his wardrobe stylist; - how telling.

His wish was " . . . the place to almost feel like it could be a resort anywhere in the world."

He certainly got that wish, children.

The pool is stunning, with a lovely view of the canyon, complete with Miss Ryan's towel, iced tea, a dish of, um, nuts, perhaps, and some reading material.

He ends by saying, "I love to have people over. I love to share food and wine and just literally sit there until I fall asleep." Seems he does empathize with his viewing public after all . . .

Happy New Year's to all you lovely children and a special one for you, Mama - can't wait to see what 2008 brings us!

Love, LGB & BGD

Anonymous said...

Honestly, this is horrible decoration. Everything is so.... new. It looks like a Bloomingdales catalog - not even Ralph Lauren Home. Very nouveau riche. The weirdest thing to me is the bedroom carpet that is way too small for the room.

Anonymous said...

Mama, where's Strapping Hunk?

Anonymous said...

I really don't understand why everyone thinks Ryan is gay, I have spent a fair amount of time around him (going back to the beginning of American Idol) and I never get the feeling he's gay from any of his behavior or mannerisms. I think metro sexual is the perfect description for him.

Not that anyone wants to know the boring truth, but he's a nice, polite and smart guy. Gay or straight, he'd be no great 'catch' at the moment because he works constantly and doesn't appear to have any free time for a serious relationship.

caveman said...

duly noted, thanks ryan

lil' gay boy said...

Touche, caveman, touche!

Anonymous said...

The house looks horrible!!!!!!
Cold, looks like one of those cheap, gaudy furniture stores at the Glendale Galleria that sells pressed wood "fancy" furniture. This house looks like a Ross store and for the money it shouldn't. Lesson # 2 for everyone on this page---you can't decorate homes in a year. Nice things are collected and thoughtfully purchased over time. However, maybe if you had your days free you could do it. But, Seacrest the workaholic didn't--so his decorators jammed all that ugly shit in there in 3 months. UGLY, I'd rather move into the old Costner version no matter what it looked like. Never blogged before--so this must be ugly!!
Love, my mamma, but everybody stop jacking momma's writing style and get your own personality--your mamma's special--but since your all your mamma's children--maybe you talk just like her--I forgive you--I'm just her cousin.

bentley said...

I like the dining room. The rest of the place is so sphincter tighteningly anal retentive it makes...me...want...ZZzzzzzzzzzz.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a lot of jealous gay boys with crushes on Seacrest to me. Don't hate Ryan's lovely home because you hate your sad little stucco on chicken wire apartment in Hollywood!

Anonymous said...

It is a sad day for design and real estate enthusiasts everywhere when our blogs and online communities join the ranks of the mindless web family of Perez Hilton. Why is Ryan Seacrest's sexuality an issue in this forum? Truly sad and pathetic.

Babe Parish said...

From Babe Parish to Anonymous 12/31/07 @ 8:31

(Anonymous said...
babe parish-luv the name btw.)

Thanks Anonymous! It makes me happy someone "got it".

I just want to say that I don't think it's just jealous gay boys with crushes on Ryan that are kinda annoyed with his staged presentation, I think it's just that the place doesn't seem to have any personality. Even if there was one iota of SOMETHING to give it a hint of Ryan's taste, it would make a huge difference...oh and everyone knows that gay boys in stucco/chicken wire apts in Hollywood can't afford internets!
:P
j/k

Anonymous said...

LIKE RYAN SEACREST HAS TIME TO READ!