Friday, March 4, 2011

More Charlie Sheen Real Estate Crazy

SELLER: Mike Medavoy
BUYER: Charlie Sheen
LOCATION: Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $7,495,000 (list); $6,999,999 (sale)
SIZE: 9,020 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: As our boozy b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau is want to say, "This can only end in tears, hunny, this can only end in tears."

For weeks now, crack pipe and prostie luvin' actor Charlie Sheen, who is currently "rehabbing" in his Sherman Oaks mansion, has been on a media blitz with interview after interview after interview of him rambling on and on and on about how he's healed his druggy ways and the sleeping arrangements with his pair of live-in "goddess" girlfriends. All of Mister Sheen's erratic and bizarre behavior is beyond fascinating, terrifically tragic and drips with schadenfreude. It is tabloid manna from heaven.

For weeks Mister Sheen has been yakking and gabbing to anyone with a camera who will listen about how he wants to buy a couple more mansions in the Mulholland Estates community where he lives, one for his ex-wife Denise Richards and another for his estranged soon to be ex-wife Brooke Mueller. Your Mama and anyone even remotely sane thinks that sounds like a stoopid real estate maneuver with disaster written all over it. Of course, what we think is of zero consequence and Mister Sheen is indeed (reportedly) pushing forward with his outlandish plan to turn the Mulholland Estates neighborhood into his own personal Hollywood style-polygamist compound where his ex-wives live in sister-wife harmony with each other and the harem of young porn stars and "models" shacked up with Mister Sheen .

Mister Sheen has two ex-wives (Donna Peele and Denise Richards), one estranged and soon-to-be ex-wife (Brooke Mueller) and one baby momma (Paula Profit). Altogether he has five children, a set of toddler twins with Miz Mueller, a couple of youngins with Miz Richards and a recently married 25-year old daughter with Miz Profit. Add in his coterie of live-in ladee friends and that's nearly a dozen people he has to keep living high on the hog. No wonder he's eager to get back to his million dollar-plus per episode job on the vapid and oppressively ordinary but enormously successful sitcom Two and a Half Men. The long-running show was put on hiatus last week after Mister Sheen made some rather unwise statements about the show and called its creator a "clown" and a "pussy." Nice, Chuckie-boy, really nice.

According to property records Mister Sheen paid $7,200,000 for his 7,924 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med mansion in April of 2006. With some assistance from Babbling Babette, we managed to coax some ancient listing information out of the internets that shows Mister Sheen's house was built in 1992 and includes 5 bedrooms and 6.5 poopers.

The increasingly unhinged-seeming actor has (allegedly) opened escrow on a large mansion that's just around the corner from his house and egg-borrowing distance from celebutante Paris Hilton's crime magnet of a mansion. We don't know which of his ex-wives Mister Sheen wants to move into this house but we do know that the sellers of the mansion in question are Hollywood heavyweight Mike Medavoy and his wife Irena.

Listing information for the two-story recently renovated property shows it was last listed at $7,495,000, measures 9,020 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms, 9 poopers and an elevator any anyone too infirm or lazy to climb or descend a single flight of stairs. There's also a double-height impress-the-guests-style foyer with curving staircase with leopard print runner, formal living and dining rooms, study, library and large gourmet kitchen with all-new Bosch brand appliances. The upstairs master suite has a fireplace, flat-screen tee-vee, French doors that open to a private covered terrace with city lights and mountain views and a custom-fitted walk-in closet the size of a Manhattan studio apartment. The attached bathroom has a jetted tub, separate steam shower and plenty of counter space on the vanity for several thousands of dollars worth of La Prairie lotions and potions.

The decent-sized but far from large backyard is equipped with all the de rigueur accouterments expected in a seven million dollar home in a gated Los Angeles community: swimming pool, spa, large terraces, heated veranda, a patch of grass and a sunken bar/kitchen/barbecue center with counter top seating.

Mister and Missus Medavoy seem to have been stricken with a serious case of The Real Estate Fickle that they just can't shake. In September of 2009, after several attempts and several years, Mister and Missus Medavoy finally unloaded their 10,769 square foot East Coast-style mansion in Beverly Park, perhaps Los Angeles's most illustrious guard-gated community of steroidal mansions. They originally wanted $23,000,000 but in the end, according to prop records, they accepted a significantly lower sales price $12,500,000.

The Medavoy's moved to a low-slung, 6,200 square foot house in the trendy Trousdale Estates neighborhood in Beverly Hills that they'd bought for $5,850,000 and that Your Mama's feisty friend Trina Trousdale described disparagingly as "corporate Côte d'Azur." Ouch. The kitty has claws. Nine months later the peripatetic pair flipped the 4 bedroom and 7 pooper pad back on the market with an asking price of $7,495,00 and sold in late June 2010 to a Canadian concern for $7,500,000, five thousand smackers over the asking price.

In late September of 2010 Mister and Missus Medavoy closed on the house in the Mulholland Estates 'hood that they are now, reportedly, selling to Charlie Sheen. Property records show they paid $6,000,000 for the property that they flipped back on the market just 4.5 short months later for $7,495,000. No word–yet–on what amount Mister Sheen is (allegedly) paying for the property and no word–yet–on which ex-wife he wants to move into the house.

It seems doubtful that either Miz Richards or Miz Mueller would actually move into the Medavoy mansion; Miz Mueller has filed a temporary restraining order against Mister Sheen in an effort to shield their children from the ongoing chaos and Miz Richards is in the latter stages of an extensive renovation of her house in the horsey and gated Hidden Hills community out near Calabasas, CA. None-the-less, there are currently two other mansions on the open market in the Mulholland Estates, one a 9,000 square foot "Italian Mediterranean Villa" listed at $5,499,000 and the other a newly constructed mansion with a 14,000 square foot main house and a 3,000 square foot guest house listed just days ago with an asking price of $13,995,000 and one is tempted to wonder if Mister Sheen will make on offer on one or the other of those mansions too.

Besides Charlie Sheen, the Mulholland Estates is currently home to a number of Tinseltown types like Paris Hilton, Judith Light, Robbie Williams and Wheel of Fortune letter turner Vanna White. Previous residents of the upscale enclave include Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, Paula Abdul, Tom Jones, Paul Anka, Loni Anderson, John Fogerty and Shaquille O'Neal.

Given the large number of current and post high-profile residents who pay high homeowner association dues–listing information shows the Medavoy manse has monthly fees of $1,000– and the 24-7 guarded entrance gates one would think that the Mulholland Estates is locked down like Fort damn Knox. But apparently that is not the case; The community has been a hotbed of celebrity-related crimes the last few years.

In late 2008 and into 2009 Paris Hilton's house was burgled numerous times by the so-called Bling Ring and in one early morning in August 2010 Miss Hilton's gun-toting man-friend Cy Waits confronted some wing nut armed with two large knives who was banging on the front door to her mansion. Not once but twice in 2010 Charlie Sheen rather bizarrely had an S-Class Mercedes stolen from his driveway, driven out of the guarded gates of the community and run off a nearby cliff.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Beverly Hills South


Jeannified said...

Boyfriends a damn mess these days. I can't imaging that Brooke Mueller, much less Denise Richards, are gonna move anywhere NEAR him! Those poor kids!

As for the porn stars he lives with, they look like they are barely 14! Jeez! This guy's gonna go down in flames!

Anonymous said...

Being in a gated community with private streets is safer and more prviate than living on open public streets. That said, when your protection depends on $12 per hour security guards...don't expect Fort Knox. Want good security, hire off-duty or retired cops for $25-$30 per hour.

StPaulSnowman said...

Make that ..............has gone down in flames! I can't imagine what the inside of this place must smell like. Ain't enough sage in the entire southwest to fix this mess.

lil' gay boy said...

"Sorry, Charlie..."

Hey, somebody had to. His recent shenanigans are beginning to make Keith Richards look like a candidate for canonization. All kinds of crazy, and not in a good way ––– at least Courtney Love can be somewhat endearing at times.

But who knew Mulholland Estates was the west coast equivalent of the South Bronx? With celebutantes such as Paris "Pops-Outta-Her-Dress" Hilton, Avril "The Spitter" Lavigne and Paula "Whoops-She-Did-It-Again" Abdul, one might as well, as Whoopi said in Jumpin' Jack Flash, live down by the docks, " blow jobs to goldfish [...] running around with a hundred dollar bill pinned to my ass yelling, 'Victim here! Victim here!' ..."


Anyway, it's all about the real estate, right? Who doesn't love a curtain rod with no drapes, a flat screen teevee over every damn mantle, and obviously splooge-proof white slipcovers over every damn piece of furniture? Klass with a capital "K". I suspect that the new build Mama mentioned just might be on Charlie's radar as all the listing photos were taken at night (after all, he cannot be the realtor's only client, can he?)

I always thought he and Denise Richards made a perfect crazy couple; just think of the Saw-like franchise you could start just by locking the two of them in the Big Brothers house with that suitcase full of coke and an endless supply of sharp instruments...

Housey said...

Mulholland Estates is not in Sherman Oaks, Mama! You know it's techinically part of Beverly Hills. Well not actually, but they paid for it to be.

Anonymous said...

Can we lock the gates from the outside?

Lady J

angie said...

Oh Mama. If I ever doubted that truth is stranger than fiction, I know better now. You deserve a Pulitzer prize for articulating and summing up The Winner's craziness in a coherent form since it makes no sense what-so-ever.

Can you imagine a new reality show featuring Charlie and his Goddesses, ex wives, baby Mamas, and children? The Real Sheen's Of Mulholland Estates. It would be a train wreck cash cow.

lil' gay boy said...

Lady J, pure genius –– I bow to you.

JW said...

I thought Sheen lived in Beverly Park, near Real Housewives Maloof and VanderPump????

Anonymous said...

I cannot figure out whether to laugh with or at Charlie.

He has been living like this since the 80's. People are worried that he's not going to make it past tomorrow, but that guy has been on a bender for close to 30 years now.

His tweets are hilarious. I watched half of his 45 minute interview with TMZ and at times he seemed high as a kite and other times he made complete sense and was actually lovable.

Now, as someone who used to partake in stimulants myself many years ago, I remember that I was brilliant that first day I was awake. It is the subsequent days that you make no sense and really should just go to sleep. That is why I cannot figure out if he was sober or whacked.

Charlie Sheen is a huge question mark for me but for some reason, I am fascinated with the whole thing.

I cannot get enough #WINNING and tiger blood.

Carla Ridge said...

"Buy-polar? BUY-WINNING!"

Comedy writers everywhere must be thanking God (who I imagine as Johnny Carson in Karnak getup) for Charlie Sheen.

There's certainly no "Adonis DNA" in this turnkey turkey.

Carla In California said...

I think Charlie's anger towards Denise has mostly to do with the following:

1)Tax-free child support for fifteen years = $9.9 million
2)Divorce settlement = $7 million
3)Syndication royalties from "Two and a Half Men" = $25 million

According to the website, Denise Richards received $60,000 a month for two years in tax-free alimony.

Overall, Denise will walk away with approximately $42 million dollars from a marriage that lasted from June 15, 2002 to March 2005 (DR petitions for divorce while pregant with Lola).

Now as for Brooke Mueller, who was born into a rich family, Charlie has to pay the following:

1)$1 million in cash for her half of the family home
2)A lump sum of $757,698.70
3)$55,000 a month in tax-free child support.
4)Half of the proceeds from the payment of the babies for People Magazine cover

Considering all of the money Charlie has had to pay these women, can you understand why he is so frustrated and angry with all of the disrespect he receives from these b*tches?

Cut Charlie some slack on this guys... he has a right to be angry.


Carla In California said...

One more thing...

In the end, the children will be the casualties in this 'war of the roses' between Charlie and his ex-wives. Bob & Max are too young to understand what is going on since they'll be 2 yrs old in a less than two weeks. But Sam & Lola are older and will be ridiculed mercilessly by their classmates. Who wins? Not the kids.

The mothers need to shut up, especially Denise. Remember the kids are the top priority.

*Steps down from soapbox*

Thank you and Good night.

P.S. Lady J-- too funny! LOL

Anonymous said...

I also applaud Lady J's hilarious one liner.
I note the library is full of artfully arranged books. I presume Medavoy actually read some of them. What might Charlie do with them? Can they be integrated into his substance abuse in some weird fashion? Perhaps he can hurl them at objects of his dislike.

Rachel Vanderveen said...

LOL. I can't believe there is a commenter here suggesting that we give Charlies Sheen any slack at all. He is a selfish loser.

Anonymous said...

Love love love the stair case.

I envision Mame Van Doren descending those heavenly leopard steps for a wild whoppee session with Charlie and his godesses followed by a snack of diet cokes and cheese-nips.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that the craziest people often have the best decorating style? Lovely home inside and out.

lil' gay boy said...

For those of you still interested (and sick of Charlie), Sandy Gallin's Bridgehampton listing is here; current asking price is $19.995M ––– yikes!

But it is undeniably lovely; sited on 14 acres, the photos were shot in early autumn when the East End is at its best (I'd kill for that vine-covered outdoor deck with fireplace).

Treat yourself to the full screen slide show ––– the night photo of the pool is my new wallpaper.

Carla Ridge said...

LGB -- This will show how old I am and how built-up 'Them Hamptons' have become, but I remember when Bridgehampton was snidley referred to by those-in-the-know as "WrongHampton".

Yes, we were still taking turns walking Truman home from 'Rounds', back in those days...LOL.

Andrew said...

How funny! There is a story about Charlie in the NYTimes and his troubles. Guess who was quoted in the last two paragraphs of the story?

“I saw him a week ago,” said Mike Medavoy, a film producer who made several films with Mr. Sheen. “He was calm and funny, as usual — it’s always like he wants to be the class clown.”

Mr. Medavoy said Mr. Sheen had been a “consummate professional” when making films. “Once the media gets hold of a story, it becomes a decision for the people to figure out whether he’s really crazy,” Mr. Medavoy said. “The truth of the matter is, he could be crazy like a fox.”

Anonymous said...

everything that's happened recently in the Middle East needs to happen here....and we could start by sending Mr. Sheen, and the entire fetid and corrupt culture of so-called "celebrity" thay goes with it, out into the Pacific on a trash barge.

jim walsh said...

someone please let charley sheen know i have cash buyers for his homwe please contact me asap jim walsh

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