Tuesday, January 21, 2014

More Kardashian Family Real Estate News...

Sorry, kids, but Your Mama feels way under the weather today with a mysterious sickness that seems like a cold but might be the flu or unsupervised ennui and we regret to inform all of y'all who'd rather shove hot coals up in your naughty bits than read anything about the Kardashian family that all we got for you this morning is a short look at the kaleidoscopically saturated, high-glam suburban Los Angeles residence of reality television royal Kourtney Kardashian and her flashy and faux-tanned two-time baby daddy (and faux-royal) Scott Disick.

A quick spin through property records (and other online resources) shows entrepreneurial Miss Kardashian—she has a fragrance line and a string of clothing boutiques in L.A., Miami and NYC, and Mister Disick—he, in addition to behaving like an all-around douche bag most of the time, has or had some sort of involvement in a slew of companies that sell vitamins and other supplements that include a pill for male menopause, picked up the 5,200 square foot house in December 2010 for $1.7 million and had the four bedroom and five bathroom place worked over (and hard) by Kardashian family's favorite decorator Jeff Andrews.

The unmarried couple's painstakingly zhooshed (and arguably meretricious) home was recently featured in the slick and celeb-y online magazine Domaine. In the accompanying article—as if on queue—Kourtney announced that that they planned to sell the house—we  paraphrase here—so they can start the decorating process all over in a larger house, a process that we call all rest easy will most certainly be documented by one or more of the many Kardashian reality television shows. Whoopie.

In our current delicate condition we can't be bothered to discuss all the striped wallpaper, the hot pink child-sized grand piano, or the cobalt blue horse head figurine in the foyer but we will say we (mostly) really like the office/library with its black walls, furniture melange, and rainbow collection of color-coded books We also think the children ought to note the pink neon sign above the bed in the master bedroom by New York artist Curtis Kulig that reads, "love me." It's a fool's game, of course, but it's sorta tough not to read into that sign being placed above that bed, isn't it? Anyways...

In other Kardashian family real estate news, the also Jeff Andrews-decorated Tarzana macmansion that Khloe K. shared with her estranged professional basketball player hubby Lamar Odom has gone into escrow just nine days after being listed on the open market with an asking price of $5,499,000.

photos: Grey Crawford for Jeff Andrews via Domaine
aerial photo (bottom, right): Pacific Coast News

22 comments:

Sandpiper said...


Purgatory.

Anonymous said...

omg, ALL those stripes.. Someone needs to tell her designer it's not more is less, it's less is more. rme

newshen said...

Instant migraine!

lil' gay boy said...

I suspect our dear Mama is not fighting off a flu or other bug, but rather a nasty combination of spins, vertigo and general disorientation brought on by an inadvertent glance or two at the listing photos (and perhaps one too many celebratory MLK Day cocktails).

I know I feel sick...

Anonymous said...

It's sooo... Kardashian.

I mean really, what did you expect? lol

Anonymous said...

Feel better Mama, but this??? They are vulgar on SO many levels. However what goes round...and it is coming around for all of that bunch.

Jim in Tampa said...

Oh my . . . that's ugly inside.

Gregory Stryker said...

I need a nerve pill and a cocktail after seeing the mess....

Anonymous said...

Kelly Wearstler wannabe.
Jeff Andrews churned out the same design on all their houses.
Although bitch does know a good wallpaper when she's presented with one.

Anonymous said...

The Rabbi is certain that Ms. Kardashian and Mr. Disick have read every volume among their impressive collection of color-coded books. Nevertheless, the Rabbi will refrain from speculation concerning the topics associated with each of the colors, while extending to Mama best wishes for a most speedy recovery.

Rabbi Hedda LaCasa

Anonymous said...

Hope you are on the mend. Get well soon.

What was done to warrant such an enormous re-sale price hike? Garish wallpaper? Vulgar décor? Just horrible.

Anonymous said...

Mama,

Please take a stand and ban any "K" people from your blog. You must set some standards. Now have a gin martini with a single plump olive and get to it!

Anonymous said...

That's just crap and they've got to know it, surely.

The Aussie

Anonymous said...

Fuck you Mama, how could you subject us to this trash???

doug-g said...

I hear the family has some ratings problems; don't be surprised if you tune in and find Scott bent over the hood of a Rolls Royce serving as Kanye's bitch while the girls sit around the kitchen table wondering whatever is keeping the boys. During Sweeps Week, of course.

Anonymous said...

Please no kardashian news, really can't handle it.
I would rather read about fergie and josh new digs, weird that, we haven't see any pictures of the renovation process.
Is it that bad or too good?

Anonymous said...

there are no words to describe how hideous this is...

Anonymous said...

It gives me headache. It's bigger mess than Xtina's old house.

Anonymous said...

If I pretend to be rich, can I move to a shithole like Tarzana, too?

These people are garbage and talking about their trashy taste is getting pretty old. The whole thing is as fake as can be. They were nearly banko when one of them made a sex tape. Now they're living on credit in the Valley. There are about 200,000 people in LA with more money and far more interesting lives.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I agree that the Kardashians aren't that interesting and that their current fame stems from Kim's grody sex tape but if you think they're living on credit you're crazy. That family earns more than $50 million a year. Do you know what those ladies get paid to tweet out a promotion for a product. Look it up. You might not like it or think they deserve it but they can afford their lifestyle. Trust.

Rosco Mare said...

Growing up, my sister had a Barbie doll house that looked like this place.

Anonymous said...

What about Khloe's rumored purchase near moms house ?