Friday, January 10, 2014

A Wee Mea Culpa (and Correction)

What can we say, children? Sometimes Your Mama just gets it wrong. So, in an effort to make it right...

Several weeks ago we received a covert communique from everybody's favorite real estate yenta, Yolanda Yakketyyak, who whispered to Your Mama that her well-connected sources snitched to her that fairly low profile Nigerian billionaire Kola Aluko had quietly shelled out $23.5 million for a newly and expensively rehabbed faux-Italianate compound on a winding, coveted street in the super-prime lower Bel Air section of Los Angeles. Remember that?

Well, children, it seems her most recent round of youth-chasing facial injections may have caused our dear and almost always dead-on accurate Miz Yakketyyak to get her upper crust real estate wires crossed because we've since heard from an impeccably unimpeachable tattle tale deep inside the Platinum Triangle real estate miasma—let's call her Juana Clarifysumting—who kindly contacted Your Mama to let us know that the buyer of the compound in question was, in fact, not the aforementioned Nigerian billionaire but rather one of his sick rich business associates, German-born private aviation pioneer Thomas Flohr, the high-flying owner of jet charter concern Vista Jet.*

Señorita Clarifysumting went on to tattle to Your Mama that as well as being a West Coast base for Mister Flohr, the extravagant spread will also used by Nina Flohr, the cosmopolitan, New York City-based 26-year old progeny of Mister Flohr and his murderously chic ex-wife, Katharina Flohr. Ex-Missus Flohr, for those of y'all who don't follow the comings and goings of the global glitterati, was once an influential editor at Vogue Russia and currently works as the Managing and Creative Director at the legendary Russian jewelry concern Fabergé. She's the sort of woman who gets those impossible to come by front row tickets to the Paris runway shows but anyhoo....

Stylish and well-educated, young Miss Flohr toils as the brand director at her daddy's Swiss-based airplane charter concern. She also totes a $7,000+ linen Hermes duffel as a carry-on and pals around with young and similarly pedigreed jet-setters like Italian noble Briana Brandolini d'Adda and fashion world scions Allegra Versace and Margherita Missoni.

Now then, let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming, shall we?

P.S., Your Mama will not tolerate any reading of Miz Yakketyyak. Y'all here that? We're serious. Just don't go there or we'll be forced to get out the good ol' wooden spoon and paddle your fannies.

*According to this late 2012 article in Forbes, Mister Aluko is "a member of the advisory board of Vista Jet, a Swiss-based private jet charger company founded by Thomas Flohr."


5 comments:

Sandpiper said...

Not a big deal. Yolanda still rocks!

lil' gay boy said...

No matter to whom the house belongs; it is still an epic fail, IMHO.

Security words: "vestmty mason": an overdressed bricklayer

Anonymous said...

Fuck you Mama, I'll say whatever I want about that cunt Yakketyyak. I'm not going to but if I wanted to I would.

Anonymous said...

Mama,

You are everybody's favorite real estate yenta! Yolanda Yakketyyak holds the very close second position, while presenting quite ambitiously. She even bears a slight resemblance to Eve Harrington, causing the Rabbi to fret endlessly for your security, as Birdie worried for Margo.

Most faithfully yours,
Rabbi Hedda LaCasa

The Swan said...

Whomever is the LUCKY person who owns this home, they are surely to find its near twin in ASOLO...The Villa Cipriani, the last home of Robert Browning, purchased by a member of the Guinness family and now run as a beautiful hotel...the garden and main house rear axis are nearly identical...as well as Loggia! I commend this home as befitting Bel Air rather than those behemoth boxes of tasteless cash...1200 demolition permits were filed in Los Angeles last year...most in the Westside.

I highly recommend a stay for all those with frazzled nerves...breakfast overlooking Asolo, no cars...a Spritz Aperola at Sunset..and minutes from REAL Palladian villas and Venice. I enjoyed my stay there immensely!!!