Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Your Mama Hears...

...That New York City-bound sitcom star and rom-com movie queen Jennifer Aniston may have managed to pull a real estate rabbit out of a hat.

Grab yourselves a nerve pill and a stiff drink, children, because according to an impeccably well-connected Beverly Hills real estate insider we'll call Nina Knowsthedirt Miss Aniston has already received two offers above $35,000,000 for her newly-rehabbed but not-wanted Beverly Hills, CA mansion that she heaved on the market in March (2011) with a faint-worthy asking price of $42,000,000.

According to Miss Knowsthedirt, Miz Aniston's high-profile Real Estate recently encouraged all the top-end agents in the Platinum Triangle to get their deep-pocketed buyers into Miz Aniston's crib tout de suite because the 10,000-ish square foot sprawler may soon be put into escrow.

After all the Chicken Littles pick themselves up off the floor and gather their wits, Your Mama suggests that perhaps this rumored turn of events isn't so surprising given the number of shockingly high prices recently paid for trophy properties in Los Angeles, including the $40,000,000 deal for financial services widow and philanthropist Iris Cantor's 21-pooper palace in Bel Air.

As all the real estate gossip reading children already know, Miz Aniston recently snatched up a trio of tiny high-floor apartments in a delectable white glove building in New York City's West Village neighborhood. One of the three contiguous units Miz Aniston snagged for her new nest in the N.Y.C. is a puny but airy 1 bedroom and 1 pooper penthouse with wrap around terrace and drop-dead views. The approximately 900 square foot penthouse was listed in June 2010 by hair honcho Sally Hershberger–She-rah of the Shag–with a vexing and vicious asking price of $5,900,000. Few, including Your Mama, imagined Miss Hershberger and her team of top-producing Real Estates could sell the penthouse for anywhere near its sky-high asking price. Alas, along comes Miz "I Gotta Have It" Aniston who paid, according to property records, a much lower but still scorching $4,950,000 for Miss Hershberger's über-petite penthouse.

Once Miz Aniston unloads her real estate albatross in Beverly Hills–and it appears she will do just that in short order–she will not remain homeless on the west coast. Way back in January of 1993, a then 24-year old Miss Aniston paid $751,000 for a gated 2 bedroom and 3 bathroom house with jet-liner views from the tippy-top of the Bird Streets neighborhood high above the Sunset Strip. While she has moved around a bit in the intervening years–including to a Tudor-style mansion on ritzy Ridgedale Drive in Beverly Hills that she shared briefly with ex-hubby Brad Pitt and later to a rented ocean front cottage in Malibu–Miss Aniston has hung on to her first real estate purchase, a house now worth upwards of four million clams.

listing photo: Coldwell Banker Previews International

12 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

"There is a sucker born every minute" is not an idea limited to the poor.

Anonymous said...

think you are wrong.....

Anonymous said...

Gasp!

Good for her. Just further evidence that P.T. Barnum underestimated the frequency.

Lady J

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear Jen's 15 year old dog just died; Perhaps the impending sale will lift her spirits.

Anonymous said...

Heavens to Betsy!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Amazing that anyone at all would pay that much for a ice cold, unattractive house that is scrunched into far too small a lot. Idiocy.

Suzy said...

@ SPSnow - I agree with your observation.

This is the "I'll show Brad what he's missing" house, eh? I can totally see some streamlined shiny bachelor in crispy shirts and knife-edge pants liking the place but cripes that's too much money.

acadykademic said...

Omg it's the Mike Brady-designed "that 70's..." house with the surgical steel galley kitchen. That's poker, buddy.

Mars said...

Haha, Suzy. Exactly what I suspected. And once she got into AD, what else did she need from the house? Right: Not a damn thing.

And ditto acadykademic: My same thought. Haha! Sort of a Tiki-fied version of a Mike Brady, uh, milieu. (gag)

Honestly though, I'm altogether bummed about JA buying my house. I fell in love with SH's place when you first ran the story. I saved the images and would stare at them imagining the day I'd own it. ME. So you know, the dream is dead now. Aniston's going to live there til she dies or permanently moves to Mexico.

Screw the law of attraction, anyway.

midTN said...

It could be 110 degrees out and you wouldn't need a/c in this overrated, over priced pile.

FRIGID

Anonymous said...

Good for her. Beautiful house. And from the sounds of things, Mr. Pitt isn't the only one jealous.

Countess De Lave said...

4.9 for a one bedroom is simply insane. Sally H was one lucky lady when Jen came along with her blinders on.