Friday, April 29, 2011

UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston


It's such a lovely day Your Mama thought the children might enjoy a little afternoon picture pretty in the form of newly released listing photos of the Beverly Hills, CA mansion that sitcom and romcom actress Jennifer Aniston has on the market for a mouth-drying $42,000,000.

The new photos show previously unseen areas of the house such as both of the master bathrooms plus a dressing/sitting room and the all stainless steel galley-style kitchen that looks more like a machine for cooking that a cozy gathering place.

As many of the children surely already know, according to all the tabs and gossip glossies Miss Aniston plans to her bags and move from L.A. to N.Y.C where the always tanned and well-turned out Miss Aniston (allegedly) has in contract , as we type our fingers to the nubbins, two small apartments in New York City, one directly atop the other.

The one bedroom and one bathroom lower apartment, in a plum pre-war full-service dowager in the West Village, was last on the market for $1,800,000. Very high but not unheard of for a well-configured high-floor apartment with a dining nook, fireplace and stunning city views.

The second unit Miss Aniston is said to be acquiring is the itty-bitty jewel box-like penthouse pad directly upstairs. The apartment, also just one bedroom and one bathroom, is owned by hair honcho Sally Hershberger, a crafty gal who will pillage your pocketbook for close to a thousand clams to cut your hair. The eensy-weensy but painstakingly renovated apartment became quite well-known last summer among New York City real estate watchers after the well-heeled scissor sister heaved her downtown aerie on the market with an audacious, but apparently not unrealistic, price tag of $5,900,000. Miss Sally knows more than hair. Beehawtcha knows that the higher you price something, the more desirable it becomes to those who can afford it.

Your Mama expects that Miss Aniston will hire smart architects and nice gay decorators to combine the two units into a pristine duplex penthouse. We've already sketched out a possible plan for Miss Aniston's merger in the West Village but we'd love to know what her people come up with.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Previews International

34 comments:

The Sound Center said...

The all stainless steel galley-style kitchen looks like a scene from Alien.

Anonymous said...

is it not strange that the listing for the LA place states the owner's name? That's a new on on me. Previous celeb owners, sure, I've seen that. But this, no.

angie said...

"..the higher you price something, the more desirable it becomes to those who can afford it."

Interesting bit of financial psychology there Mama, although it has the opposite effect for me. The first thing I do when an expensive potential investment catches my eye is determine it's fair market value and compare that to the list price. If Nic Cage had bothered to do that, he'd still be sitting pretty instead of where he's at.

StPaulSnowman said...

Stainless steel kitchen in a "Zen inspired house" is like having Soviet posters in an Impressionist Art exhibit. All that kitchen needs is an MRI machine and the concept would be complete. I can almost smell the cat urine in all those lovely grey cushions. My entry into the final sale price pool is 8.2 million................rupees.

luke220 said...

This home has no soul. It has been stripped of all warmth and character.

Anonymous said...

she left her poor dog behind with the housekeeper. I live a few doors up from her and see it being walked every day.

Standard Luxe said...

I thought Architectural Digest had that clause that no house it featured could be listed within 3 years of being featured...? I could be totally wrong though.

StPaulSnowman said...

Standard Luxe, how could that ridiculous restriction possibly obtain? We all know that a main function of being featured in AD is to enhance the subsequent real estate listing. That is about like having a prenuptial that there be no farting after the wedding.

J said...

""This home has no soul. It has been stripped of all warmth and character."" -Luke220

I thought the exact same thing...It has lonely feeling as well.

Anonymous said...

a generic home for a generic actress, both completely devoid of nuance. meh.

Carla In California said...

After all that time, effort and money into this house, she chose THAT as her master bathroom design? Plain white with Hollywood lights around the mirrors? Boooooorring!

The all stainless steel kitchen has only one good thing about it: the flatscreen tv hanging from the ceiling.

I can't believe the architect who supposedly helped design this place is still employed. Un-stinkin-believable.....

Steve Mawson said...

No no no say it isn't so. THAT cost 42 million ? Has the world gone completely stark raving bonkers ?

Steve Mawson said...

Standard Luxe, said ... "AD clause -no house could be listed within 3 years". Really ? That's insane. How would they enforce that ? With a law suit. What idiots. They sell their rag, what more do they want?

Next thing HELLO will be telling Posh (frozen face) Spice and David (I have NOT manscaped my eyebrows) Beckham that they can't get divorced within 3 years of another million dollar photo spread !

The world IS officially NUTS.

Anonymous said...

Mama, your consistent use of the word "dowager" is questionably sexist. Dowager, by definition, is property owned by a woman after their husband passed the title of the property to her upon his death. Are you insinuating that every female property owner within this building was given their property, as opposed to earning it? You should really check the definition of a word before using it. You use a lot of colorful vocabulary on here and I'm starting to think you don't know what half the word you're using mean.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does everything about this house & its decor seem disturbingly masculine for a house owned by a single woman? It really makes you wonder if she bought & renovated this house to appeal to herself, or as some kind've multi-million-dollar man bait...as in "pleasepleaseplease marry me, and you'll get to live in this cool house!"...is it just me?

B said...

I know the price of houses in CA is sky high, but seriously, $42,000,000? In Nov, 2006 Jennifer Aniston paid $13,500,000 for this property. Surely inflation and what it took to remodel it hasn't increased the value by $28,500,000 in less than five years?

angie said...

Anon 6:44 AM,

In loose popular usage, dowager as a stand-alone noun may refer to any elderly woman, especially one who is wealthy or behaves with dignity.

Mama simply referred to the building in the feminine sense, just as vehicles and ships sometimes are, and as a highly desirable older residence.

Anonymous said...

Momma, you go ahead and use any words that you like. That are always funny and entertaining -- I believe that is what this is all about. If you are hanging on every typed word then maybe you should also complain about the word terlits. Pleeeeease. Let's all toss poilitcal correctness in the wind and have some fun here!!

As for the house -- the location is spectacular, the view is amazing, a few of the interior rooms are pleasant....but over all this house is a complete mess. Whoever buys this house is going to rip it apart again. As for the price, unless she takes a huge reduction, she is going to be sitting on it for a long time. Carrying costs cannot be cheap here.

There is no way that she has anywhere near $42M in this house and should chop off $10M just for starters.

I also live in the neighborhood and work in the entertainment business. We have an over and under pool going, My bet is under $30M.

BTW, I think my new name for this board will be Don Dowager.

StPaulSnowman said...

Anon 6:44; I am sure that Mama uses the sobriquet "Dowager" to describe a woman who bets money and not the widow of a titled gentleman. She loves Maggie Smith and Debo Mitford Devonshire and would never use the word to describe wealthy society types. Incidently, for someone so critical of Mama's syntax, you should have written, "every female property owner within this building was given HER property and not "their property" Please put your little bag of stones away....we play nice in Mama's parlor.

Anonymous said...

What I noticed first were the two immense mirrors in the vestibule and then the two immense mirrors in the "vanity" room. Do I dare conclude anything from that?

Anonymous said...

the house could have been "man bait" just depending on which way the wind blows...

Anonymous said...

If you spen a thousand dollars to get your hair done, you are a moron.

That being said, I would be happy to share a space with the sexy Jennifer Aniston for however long our relationship would last because as well all know, she can't keep a man to save her life. Lol

nursedeb said...

no farting after the wedding...
StPaulSnowman, I blew my nice drink all over the laptop!!!!
what a nothing house...I agree, no soul whatsoever

PebbleBeach said...

Living here would feel like being stuck in the Brady Bunch house if Mike and Carol were to have remodeled it in 2008. I just don't understand the value for $42MM.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I am a bit surprised how much my fellow readers dislike this house. Overpriced, yes,but I wouldn't mind inheriting it...if I were a dowager.

Anonymous said...

fwiw, AD's contract only stipulates that your house can't be published anywhere else until 90 days after the issue hits newsstands. It's pretty much understood that high-profile celebs only agree to this kind of coverage because they're going to sell, plus publishing keeps their decorators happy.

bobby trendy said...

As we ALL know i decorate mantions to palaces - this place is NOT worth 42 million anything. The beautifull home of Iris Cantor's took 9 years to sell and recived $40M !!! Id say this place well...I have to say is worth 4 mil at the most:)
love bobby trendy

Anonymous said...

I read that the stainless steel kitchen is the catering kitchen, so that she can throw FAB parties with all the work done in the back of the house. There is a smaller show kitchen in the living area.

Anonymous said...

Yuck, looks like a damn HOTEL.

42M? Does this woman smoke weed?

15 MILLION TOPS.

Anonymous said...

Bobby, or dare I say Booby ? We actually didn't ALL know you're a little gay decorator. But if you DO actually turn your hand at a bit of karate chopping pillows, how about learning to correctly spell a few of the key words in your profession sweety ? For example: mansion and beautiful. And, "I would", when abbreviated is I'd. Trust me, it will help you attract better clients, if they think you have at least studied a little before leaving junior high.

Anonymous said...

Hope it sells....the City needs the property taxes. Higher the better.

hely said...

Hmmm... To each his or her own, but the house is just the improvement on the lot. How large is the property and how are the views? How big is the house, is it concrete or wood, what kind of extras does the it have? In the pics I see a lot of expensive materials, custom lighting, at least two types of custom wall treatments in the bedroom, seamless stone bathroom floors, a front door and matching side window that are easily 200k (and I may be underbidding big time), huge grade A exterior cedar soffits, real stone walls (and tons of them,) custom interior doors, 6" or 8" (can't figure out from the pic) walnut floors, modern walnut boiserie and cabinetry, jute walls in the office, massive stone sink in the master, quite a bit of custom glass throughout, bisquit-joined custom cedar walls, and I can go on and on. She certainly didn't go cheap on this house - this type of minimalist look is very expensive to achieve and very labor-intensive - and I've a feeling anyone who might be interested in buying this house won't rip it apart at all - maybe tweak it a little bit. As for taste, warmth, and soul - that's many different stories and they are all in the proverbial 'eye of the beholder.'

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