Friday, January 22, 2010

Mischa Barton Gets in Some Real Estate Hot Water

Oh dear. Buckle up your safety belts children because, like it or not, we're going to discuss that poor Mischa Barton gurl. Ever since 2006, when the British born and American bred ack-tress ditched her wildly popular role on the now defunct teen drama The O.C. in order to become the bigger and shinier star she thought she should be, it ain't been nuthin' but bad choices and tabloid hysteria for the former child model.

First came her all too public and ill-fated love affairs with a string high profile man-boys like Brandon Davis, Cisco Adler–remember him!–and a couple other scruffy musician types. The downward spiral started in the spring of 2007 when the wee lassie was hospitalized for a few hours after an antibiotic she was taking reacted poorly with some liquor she was drinking, which is just idiotic because every damn body knows you can't be sucking up the booze when you're taking the medi-sine. In December of the same year Miss Barton was pulled over and arrested at 2 something in the a.m. on L.A.'s La Cienega Boo-lay-vard for driving while intoxicated and possessing some of the wacky weed. After being sprung from the pokey and before here trial–or arraignment or whatever you have for drunk driving–Miss Barton secretly went to a rehab facility. Atta girl!

Much to the chagrin and horror of body fascists and tabloid magazines everywhere, she gained some weight in 2008. By early 2009, she'd whittled her body down to the size of a tube of damn toothpaste. Come summer of 2009 Miss Barton was admitted to the psych ward at Cedars Sinai on a 5150–otherwise known as an involuntary psyciatric hold. After flying that coop she and her PR people claimed the event was triggered by a tooth extraction gone bad or some such nonsense. Pleeze gurl, who do you think you're foolin'? Not Your Mama. Shortly after her "tooth extraction" situation went to work as a pill popping supermodel on a program The Beautiful Life. Unfortunately for her, that show was ripped off the air faster than it takes to snort a fat line of the good Columbian stuff. Dear jeezis children, When Your Mama thinks of all the crappola that clutters up our cable, it's almost shocking to think that a show could be so bad it would be unceremoniously nixed after just two episodes. Two!

Regrettably, 2010 hasn't really started off to a much better start for Miss Barton. Just this week scads of reports surfaced about her recent guest appearance as a lollipop sucking, leopard coat clad hooker on one of the 47,000 Law & Order programs. Oh hunny, has it really come to that? According to scuttlebutting sources, Miss Barton flubbed her seven lines so terribly it took 10 hours to film her one scene. Oh my. Of course, her representatives say everything went wonderfully but honestly butter beans, we don't know how much of these reports about iMiss Barton's Law & Order appearance are true, but even if only half of it is true, it just makes Your Mama feel powerful sad. We're not sure why because we don't know Miss Barton nor are we emotionally invested in her success, but it still hurts our heart to see someone so young stumble and bumble in the public eye. Yes, it's fun to be snarky and poke fun, but it's also heartbreaking if you stop and think about it just a little bit.

Anyhoo, now word slips down the gossip grapevine that Miss Barton is being sued by a New York City landlord who claims she skipped out on the rent for a TriBeca loft she leased last year to the tune of $7,000 per month. The landlord says Miss Barton owes three months back rent (plus any associated late fees), on the Walker Street loft, a total that comes to $21,300.
Interestingly, thanks to the peeps at CityFile (via the fine folks at Curbed), it's come to light that the somewhat wonkily laid out loft (above) has been listed for lease with an asking price of $8,5000, a somewhat inexplicable $1,500 increase over what Miss Barton was supposed to pay. Even more interesting is that the rent rigamarole with Miss Barton hasn't stopped the landlord and his/her real estate people from marketing the 2 bedroom and 1 pooper apartment as a "luxury loft formerly occupied by an a-list celebrity." A-list? Oh. Uhm. Yeah. No.

When not in New York (allegedly) mucking up filming and (allegedly) skipping out on the rent for luxury lofts, Miss Barton beds down in a 7,607 square foot Mediterranean on a gated street just off Mulholland Drive above Beverly Hills. Records show Miss Barton bought the house in 2005, before she made the damn fool decision to leave The OC, the last (and only) really good tee-vee gig she's ever had. Records show Miss Barton forked over a whopping $6,400,000 for the 6 bedroom and 10 pooper mansion where, it's been reported, she lives with her rehab veteran sister Hania and their parents.

Your Mama just hopes that Miss Barton saved some of her earnings from The OC because it looks like she's not quite back in the tee-vee saddle yet.

floorplan: StreetEasy

8 comments:

Viva! said...

I really have to wonder how she managed to afford a nearly $7,000,000 house on her OC salary. That show paid her, maybe, $75,000 an episode and it ran for under 100 episodes. With all the drugs she's done we all know she's snorted away half her net worth.

She really bothers me, such an unprofessional little cow. Her fake accent bothers me too. Ugh!

Ms. Tina said...

All I have to say is that crystal meth is helluva drug. ;)

Syd said...

Now I have to try and escape the image of Cisco Adler's saggy balls. Damn!

Anybody who hasn't had the pleasure, should google Cisco Adler's balls.

Anonymous said...

I so wish I hadn't just googled him. Yuk.

Anonymous said...

If leased at $8500, it would take just over 14 months to cover the 'late fees' that she already owes.

The Preppy Pauper said...

There are so many cautionary tales in Hollywood, but apparently precious few heed them.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why she was renting in Tribeca when her parents own a loft on Reade Street which was her childhood home. As for her affording the LA house, her Father is [was] a high flying British trader/banker on Wall St.

Anonymous said...

your actually a pretty shit writer and a mega bitch. And really? pooper? not cute.