Monday, January 25, 2010

In Answer To...

...Mister Big Time's, "Which Celebrity's House Is This #68?"

As surmised by Big Dave over at Celebrity Address Aerial and confirmed by our wunderkind informant Lucy Spillerguts, the answer to Mister Big Time's most recent celebrity real estate query is...drum roll please...fresh-faced actress Emily VanCamp who currently stars on the sappy and saccharine but enormously popular family drama Brothers & Sisters.

Prior to her current boob-toob gig, the 23-year old Canuck spent her later teen years on a now canceled tee-vee program called Everwood, a program neither Your Mama nor the Dr. Cooter ever bothered to view. Young Miss VanCamp has a number of other credits on her resume, but her glory days on the small (and perhaps big) screen are clearly ahead of her rather than behind her.

The bilingual Miss VanCamp had previously, reportedly, lived in a suburb of Montreal but now has a nice new hoose in her newly adopted home base of Los Angeles. Records reveal squeaky, soap commercial clean Miss VanCamp bought the property in early October of 2009 for $1,225,000. As well covered by Mister Big Time, Miss VanCamp's new hoose near the top of Beachwood Canyon was built in 1953, measures a modest 1,485 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 1.75 poopers. The interior spaces, according to listing information are open plan with a living room/dining room with wood floors and a vaulted and beamed ceiling. The kitchen is completely renovated and most rooms open through French doors to private terraces, little garden hideaways and/or the backyard, which includes a small swimming pool surrounded by thick, privacy making foliage.

Listen butter beans, there's little that pleases Your Mama more when it comes to all those "young Hollywood" types than seeing one of them purchase a home appropriate to their age and level of success. Unlike some of these other gurls in their early 20s who hump around Hollywood in vajayjay revealing skirts and park their $100,000 cars cars in $6,700,000 mansions, it appears Miss VanCamp has a proper real estate head on her pretty shoulders.

Are your listening MissusMontag, Lohan and Barton? That's right, Your Mama is talking about you and your ilk. Here's a little free advice for you hunnies: Those newly mammoth mammaries and lips that look more bee swarmed than bee stung simply aren't going to extend your time at the top of the Tinseltown heap. Your days–as you yourselves surely know–are numbered. That is unless, of course, you resort to ever more extreme behaviors that ensure your names and faces appear with alarming frequency in all the gossip glossies. But that's really another rant for another blog, isn't it?

Your Mama wishes Miss VanCamp a happy new hoose and continued success in Hollywood without falling victim to the ridiculously cliché practice of plumping up lips to the size of bread baskets and installing behemoth bags of saline in already huge–and probably already fake–boobies.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Photos Ma?

Emily Van Camp is an absolute natural beauty. Hope she is sweet person to go along with the looks.