Thursday, December 10, 2009

Madge Gets Horsey in the Hamptons

Look out Hamptonites. Not only is Santa Claus coming to town, so is Madonna.

According the the New York Post and about 17 other online sources, perfectly preserved pop super star Madonna has signed contracts to purchase Wild Ocean Farm, Kelly Klein's 30-acre horse facility in Bridgehampton, NY. Miz Klein is, of course, the ex-ladee mate of fashion dee-ziner Calvin Klein and a noted horsewoman who used the property to train show horses. Other than a grooms apartment, the contiguous but oddly configured property does not currently have a residence which means the Kabbalah Kween will either need to build one–if that's even possible–or buy one elsewhere in the Hamptons. Listen puppies, Your Mama has a sneaking suspicion she'll be buying–south of the highway, natch–before next summer. But that's just a hunch chickens and not based on any inside information we've (not) received.

The Mitchell's Lane spread was not listed on the open market but it's speculated that Madge and Miz Klein reached an agreement–sans a real estate broker–for something under ten million horseshoes. It's also rumored and reported that the material mommy has her property hungry eyeballs an adjacent and vacant 23.8 acre parcel on Millstone Road, currently listed at an undisclosed price but pegged at $2,400,000 by Miz Gould at the New York Post.

It's quite possible that the recent dee-vorsay, who is still getting her cougar on with much younger Brazilian model Jesus Luz, would not be allowed to build a residence on the Millstone Road property because, according to all reports, Suffolk County has purchased or is the process of purchasing the development rights.

For those not edgumuhkated on the ins and out of Hamptons real estate, let Your Mama offer y'all a 40-second primer on these Suffolk County development rights. In an effort to maintain and support the agricultural history of the east end of Long Island and to quell rampant development of huge housing developments, a property transfer tax was levied against home and property buyers. The tax, which essentially amounts to 2% of the purchase price, is payable at the closing. On the North Fork, the first $150,000 on improved land was exempt and on the South Fork–otherwise known as the Hamptons, the first $250,000 of the purchase price for improved land is exempt. The tax was and still is used to purchase a particular parcel's "development rights," which essentially means that the land can only be used in perpetuity for agricultural purposes. The land owners are usually allowed to build "farm" buildings such as barns or greenhouses on the property, but not a private residence. Therefore if both of these Bridgehampton parcels that Madge is allegedly purchasing have had the development rights sold, she will under no circumstances be allowed to build a mansion on either of the properties.

Anyhoo, we're quite certain that Madge's financial and legal peeps are well acquainted with the development rights issues on the East End and how they relate to and affect–or don't affect–both of these parcels. Anyone want to take bets on how long it is before an East Hampton storefront is turned into a Kabbalah Center?

14 comments:

Stewie said...

If you're going to live in the Hamptons and you're rich like Madonna you're going to want to have either an oceanfront or a lakefront estate. My guess is she'll use this solely for the horses, and will buy another, more expensive estate in Southampton, Water Mill, East Hampton or Amagansett

Anonymous said...

Another reason to avoid the Hamptons!

Eric said...

Am I the only one who's dizzzzzy from that photo, or could it be the four gin fizzes I've had this morning?

Anonymous said...

I think this place in Amagansett would be just perfect as a Hamptons get-a-way for Ma-donna and Jeezus. http://www.corcoran.com/property/listing.aspx?Region=LI3&ListingID=41728
What do the chickens think about that?

Anonymous said...

I think Madge and her boy-toy might prefer something along these lines:
http://www.corcoran.com/property/listing.aspx?Region=LI3&ListingID=15739
Nothing like a little conspicuous consumption...

Anonymous said...

wt?

Chris said...

Madge is a total bore. The last word on her was from her ex who called her a "piece of gristle." Perhaps should be amended to "super-rich piece of gristle."

Little Edie said...

i thought every time she gets near a horse disaster ensues.....you know animals are exceedingly sensitive to a person's vibe.

Ingrid said...

Hey, Mama, can you provide us with the latest news about Madonna's moving from her Central Park West Apartament to her new Upper East Side 30 million Townhouse ???
Do you know if she has already moved to the new house ? And also do you know if she's selling the Central Park West Apartment ? And how much she's asking for that apartment ?
Please, Mama, feed us with much information as you can !! We're so anxious here...

Anonymous said...

omg! she is so eco green, her and dicaprio and the rest of hollywood , such eco role models for the rest of us, dont you agree,wt?

Anonymous said...

Madonna's real estate on CPW is not on the market, and probably will not be until she moves into her East Side house. No idea how extensive the renovation will be on that , but word is it just got started, and I would imagine it's going to be a big project, given that the house had belonged to one family for many years and at the end by an elderly lady. But even if it had been fully renovated last year, you can be sure that Madonna's big ego would demand that it be gutted once again.

Anonymous said...

hey m....faux green much? poser.

Anonymous said...

funny how these celebs help the poor in other countries except the usa, oh thats right thats not a good photo op...anyway..if anyone knows the area of southampton ny, there is a ghetto area, and many are poor, If you speak with any , these rich celebs wont let them near their properties, when they are having catered parties.Word is one celeb actually threw the food out in front of a hungry locals face, so eco and compassionate.the next day they were on air talking about their charity.

Anonymous said...

funny how these celebs help the poor in other countries except the usa, oh thats right thats not a good photo op...anyway..if anyone knows the area of southampton ny, there is a ghetto area, and many are poor, If you speak with any , these rich celebs wont let them near their properties, when they are having catered parties.Word is one celeb actually threw the food out in front of a hungry locals face, so eco and compassionate.the next day they were on air talking about their charity.