Thursday, August 13, 2009

Whoopi Hawks Her Loft on Wooster


SELLER: Whoopi Goldberg
LOCATION: Wooster Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $3,990,000
SIZE: 3,600 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Exposed brick, extremely high ceilings, polished wood floors, massive mahogany windows and historical elements abound throughout the loft. Dramatic entertaining space with both opulence and integrity - offering a home entertainment system with 58" flat screen plasma TV, Direct TV, Individual DVR and TiVo. Divine custom details throughout the loft - vintage ceiling fans, custom doors, light fixtures and wall mountings. ValCucine kitchen, separate guest quarters, three baths, bar area, and private master suite...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Well children, after working our way through the thick and florid listing information, Your Mama is ready to discuss the New York City loft that superstar Whoopi Goldberg recently hoisted on the market with an asking price of $3,990,000.

The calls it like she sees it comedienne and actress and all around media personality has appeared in more than 100 films and boob-toob programs. For her efforts she's won an Oscar–for that ridiculous Ghost movie because the Academy screwed up and should have given it to her five years earlier when she was nominated but did not win for The Color Purple, a Tony, a couple of Golden Globes, a number of Daytime Emmys (plus a handful of non-daytime Emmy nominations), Image Awards, Kid's Choice Awards, People's Choice Awards, and a damn Grammy. Now she's on The View with all them other opinionated ladees who every day weigh in on everything and everyone from Lindsay Lohan to whether men should wear engagement rings, from healthcare reform to the shenanigans of Sarah Palin.

According the the peeps at PropertyShark, Miz Goldberg, whose real name is the much less odd and memorable Caryn Johnson, purchased the (approximately) 3,600 square foot, full floor loft on SoHo's Wooster Street in October of 2006 for $1,648,000. Other residents of the building, which houses the Patagonia store on the ground floor, include actor Billy Crudup who records show bought his top floor crib in 2004 just after he infamously dumped his long time ladee-friend Mary-Louise Parker when she was 7-months preggers with their son. But that's another sordid celebrity story for another day.

According to listing information, the 2 bedroom and 2.5 pooper loft includes private elevator access, high ceilings (lofts usually do), polished wood floors (some of which are indeed quite lovely), gigantic mahogany framed windows that suck light deep into the loft, a fancy ValCucine kitchen with what appears to be magnificent mahogany cabinetry, and a home entertainment system that would make most couch potatoes weep with envy.

What listing information does not say is that someone unwisely installed a bunch of crown molding, the plumbing is exposed at the ceiling (as it is in many New York City lofts), there are at least four types of wood flooring, the layout is more than a bit awkward with too much space designated to the entrance hall, the laundry facilities are part of the wet bar in the family room and the floor plan indicates that there is not a single built-in closet in either of the two bedrooms. In fact, from the looks of things, there are only four cramped closets in the entire loft and three of them are in the damn poopers. No offense Miz Whoopi, but for four million smackers we want a large, custom-fitted walk-in closet and not a wall full of armoires.

The expansive apartment has been filled with an eclectic, flea market-y hodge-podge of furniture, countless tchotske collections and a truck load of decorative items that look to Your Mama like Miz Whoopi picked them out herself. We do love when a home bears the unmistakable stamp of the owner, which this one does, but we also think Miz Whoopi could have used the skills of a smart architect and a nice gay decorator to help her pull it all together a bit more succinctly. Her extensive collection of African and black American artworks, on the other hand, is flaw-less.

According to property records Miz Whoopi also owns a 7,039 square foot mansion in posh Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles that she bought way back in 1993 and she may or may not still own an 8,000 acre spread in Vermont, a waterfront house in swank and scenic Tuxedo Park, NY, a small house (or duplex) in Berkeley, CA, and some kind of property in Cornwall, CT.

24 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

Whoopie is a delight but some nice gay decorator on crack beat this place with an ugly stick. The variation in floor types shows they just couldn't get it right. It would be easy, though, for a do-it-yourselfer to locate any pesky leaky pipes.

Anonymous said...

Mama, can you imagine anyone commenting that one's collection of "African and black American artworks" is "flawed?" Horror of horrors.

Anonymous said...

True, it's nice art. I don't know if the ceiling situation can be amended, but there is definitely space for closets in both bedrooms. However, I don't understand $2.3M (more than 100%!)increase in price over just 3 years, espeically, given that the appartment needs renovations.

angeleyes said...

What I like alot: tall ceiling height, spacious room sizes, open flow layout, lots of big windows, gorgeous wood floors.

What I'd change: I know it's a loft thing, but the ceilings are just too busy looking for my taste, and I pity the poor housekeeper who has to regularly ascend a ladder to keep dust from collecting on all that clutter. The problem is compounded by the sheer quantity of items on the walls. Honestly, all the STUFF I'm seeing makes me dizzy. The floor plan also needs some tweaking to maximize useful living space potential.

I'm tempted to think it's listed at too high a price taking into consideration the essentials it lacks, especially a total absense of closets where you need them most. She also bought this unit for $1.65M just 3 short years ago, close to the height of the housing price boom, and things have changed alot since then. I guess this is the "I'm a celebrity, Whoppie pooped here" price ;)

If I bought this place, it would look alot different than it does now when I got through with it, but it has all the important basic structural elements I look for in a home. Very nice, thanks Mama!

Gilsner said...

Doing laundry drives me to drinking too but, although convenient, having the washer/dryer so out in the open like that is just ri-donk-ulous.

I concur about the hardwood. Flooring is not like baked goods... when you can't decide between 4 of them you don't just say 'I'll take them all'.

Gilsner said...

I'm sorry but I couldn't resist... I like the Whoopi cushion on the green armchair ;)

Years... I've waited years to use that one...

The Preppy Pauper said...

Hey this is Whoopi, do you think she honestly cares what anybody thinks of her design sense? It's her space and her taste, and I'm sure she would tell anyone who told her how she could improve her loft what they could do with their suggestions. That being said, I don't think the celebrity provenance is worth 2.4 million appreciation in three years. Despite this loft being authentic, I'm guessing most potential buyers actually want a state of the art luxury condo-type interior space inside of an actual loft building. That in itself is a million dollar + project. It's nice to see what lofts look like pre-gentrification.

Madam Pince said...

I agree with StPaul Snowman. But I like this place a lot more than the snotty co-ops Mama generously brings the chirren whenever the monied skanks are in hot water.

angeleyes said...

I'd be interested in the opinion of any NYC dwellers on something. Does the fact that this co-op is on Wooster St. in SoHo justify the asking price? I suppose it's possible that a particularly popular hip/trendy area could be immune from the current drop in prices just about eveywhere else. Still, a 100% plus price increase with no subsequent property improvements within a 3 year period that encompasses both the height of the market and it's current low, is hard to imagine. Thanks.

JLo said...

Since when is a fricking TiVo a selling point?!

Nancy/PA said...

Wow, when I saw the lines on the ceiling (which turned out to be pipes), I thought the ceiling was covered in giant Armstrong acoustic tiles.

Flawless African art or not, it still looks like clutter to me. My brain can't process the layout or features when a place has this much crap on the walls.

Anonymous said...

I thought Whoopi sold her house in Cornwall. I think it was in architectural digest a few years ago right when she listed it.

I don't think Wooster is any more special than another block in soho.

Anonymous said...

Too much clutter for a loft space. I like lofts to be a little more stark, with the high ceilings & windows and brick floors doing the heavy lifting style-wise. I don't even mind ht exposed pipes, as that is part of the industrial aesthetic for me. Her artwork gets lost in the mix here. Think how beautifully highlighted the collection would be without all that crap everywhere. Also, I agree that a more elegant laundry and closet solution is called for. At the very least, she could have enclosed the washer and dryer in nice cabinetry with doors. chrissakes. Fortunately, there aren't a lot of walls, so maybe this space could be better sliced and diced?

Anonymous said...

What book did she read to decorate this.

Dorm living 101?

A total mess! She needs to cut back on the paintings and memorabilia on the wall by 80%. Would make it look cleaner and bigger! Less is more.

And PLEASE paint the sprinkler pipes white!

gregory said...

I find it intersting how people enjoy ripping on the homeowners choice of Decorating.

Personally I find her home a little to busy. But I'm sure she likes it, since it's her home. But she might find it sells quicker and for closer to the asking price if she stages that puppy.

Still, I wonder if I would want to buy a particular home simply because of the famous person that inhabited the space between the walls before.

I have a feeling if Mario Lopez was selling a home that I was considering buying I would simply for that fact alone. My friends would never let me hear the end of it :-).

Anonymous said...

What is with these people?
I love Whoopi but how in the hell can you expect that a property that you bought for $1.6 million in 2006 is now worth almost $4 million?

Seriously..

Sandpiper said...

As long as it feels like home to her, what else really matters? These old units are what they are. Apprently it wasn't her priority to rennovate.

When prospects come for their second look with an architect, all that will initially matter is the square footage and thru unit configuration which provides west-east windows for air circulation.

The flooring threw me off until I realized they are visually seperated for the most part by the load bearing wall, possibly a result of joining the two units in a previous life. Not nearly as startling as we see them side by side in Mama's pics.

The staging and photography did this listing no favors IMHO.

I kind'a dig it.

NewYorkQueer said...

Ms. Goldberg has chosen, I assume for the money, to spend her time on the View. She shares the stage with a blond republican bullet point reader who drinks the kool-aid daily in great ravenous draughts, a black woman who believes Jesus is the worlds oldest religion and proclaims proudly that she doesnt know or care if the world is round or flat, and Joy, and original whose presence there I can only put down to inertia.
What happened to your brain Whoopie?
The loft is ordinary, the price is wishfull cele-bratty thinking and there are 50 more just like it for half the price. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Striking how much of the furniture is white. I wonder if some unconscious factor is at work there.

angeleyes said...

8:48, it wouldn't suprise me if there's a practical reason for the white furniture - so she spot it easily :)

Lola said...

I like it a lot. The floors are beautiful and what's wrong with a little variety? The floorplan is airy and cozy. It looks like a home. The closet situation is BAD.

Love the art too. Especially the painting over the couch in the living room and the large one in the second bedroom of the woman. It is stunning. I wonder who the artists are. Anyone know?

Anonymous said...

I thought these were pictures of a consignment shop.

Anonymous said...

I like the decor. It's not something I would choose, but I like it. I agree with the comments on the lack of closet space. For that price, it's just wrong.
Maybe all NY lofts look like this, but I don't care for the U shaped floor plan. Why is there only one way to get from one side of the unit to the other? I wouldn't like to go down and around all the time.

lilkunta said...

How much is WH worth? Did she get prenups so she didnt have to pay her ex husbands?

B/c she has
- a 7,039 sq ft mansion on Amalfi Drive, Pacific Palisades,Cali (since 92)
- an 8,000 acre farm in Vermont
- a duplex house in Bereley Cali (since 1985)
- 278 acres in Corwall, CT
- a 1890 lakefront/ waterfront house in swank/scenic Turtle Point,Tuxedo Park, NY designed by heralded architect Bruce Price(Emily Post's dad)
-a 3,600 square foot, full floor loft on SoHo's Wooster Street (bought in October 06 4 $1,648,000). She is trying 2 sell it now--just 3 yrs later-- 4 4million dollars !