Tuesday, August 11, 2009

George Hamilton Is Flipping Out in West Palm Beach

SELLER: George Hamilton
LOCATION: N. Flagler Drive, West Palm Beach, FL
PRICE: $1,200,000
SIZE: 1,797 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stellar 2 BR, 2 BA celebrity waterfront completely re-done from the floor up! Dazzling 36" x 36" white glass tiles throughout. Sensational, spacious LR. European style Kit. w/ built-in Miele coffee maker, wine cooler. New Lg screen TVs, sound system, game set up. Fully furnished with professional decorator flair. Ultramodern baths. East and west balconies.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Since tomorrow will be the 70th birthday of dashing, debonair and perma-tanned actor George Hamilton, it seems only appropriate to discuss the West Palm Beach condominium he recently put on the market with an asking price of $1,200,000.

The devoutly tawny and usually be-tuxed Mister Hamilton–a pal of legendary ladees like Joan Collins and footwear fanatic Imelda Marcos–was one of the last of the contract players at MGM and in the 1960s starred in films like Home From the Hill, Angel Baby and Light in the Piazza. After a professional dry spell that started in the late sixties and stretched clear through the 1970s, he solidified his persona and reputation as a conspicuously bronzed and somewhat campy, highly likable and wonderfully louche jet setter who swanned around with the rich, the famous and the rich and famous. In the early eighties he made a brief but lauded come back in Zorro, the Gay Blade, in the mid-1980s he appeared on one season of Dynasty, and in the mid-1990s he hosted a fantastically bad daytime talk show with his ex-wife Alana Stewart. In 2005 he busted up his knee during the second season of that insanely popular but deeply upsetting program Dancing With The Stars and his most recent credits are as "Ned's Father" on the canceled tee-vee program Pushing Daisies and as an "Audience" member of the 2008 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Oh Jeezis, Mary and Jehosephat. We're sure he enjoyed watching all them six foot phillies working the runway in their scanty panties, but it makes Your Mama sad that Mister Hamilton's career has come down to being "Audience" at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

Anyhoo, we first learned of Mister Hamilton's listing from an elegant gentleman we'll call P.B. Squealer who claimed that Mister Hamilton picked up the 2 bedroom and 2 pooper condo at the Waterview Towers on N. Flagler Drive in May of 2008 for $525,000. Property records support P.B.'s assertion.

Both P.B. and listing information indicate that after buying the 1,797 square foot unit Mister Hamilton–or his people–oversaw a major overhaul of the 15th floor apartment that included installing several flat scree boob-toobs, a sound system, a game setup (could Mister Hamilton like to work the Wii?), and white glass tile floors that P.B. heard through the nabobish Worth Avenue gossip grapevine cost Mister Hamilton somewhere in the neighborhood of $100,000.

Listing information says that the apartment, which is being sold furnished, was all did up "with professional decorator flair." We don't know about that, but we do know that Mister Hamilton's condo has both east and west exposures, two balconies and a spacious living room with a white sectional sofa littered with a rainbow flag of pillows that, quite frankly, looks more like the lobby of a clothing optional guest house in West Hollywood than a million dollar condo in West Palm Beach.

We're perfectly puzzled by the unholy combination of the Art Deco-ish wall mirror and the faux-Frank Gehry-esque bentwood room chairs that have been pull up to a glass table with stainless steel (or maybe they're nickel) legs in the dining room but we're comfortable with the sleek kitchen that includes chocolate (or maybe ebony) cabinets, a tremendous tri-doored refrigerator that makes us go weak in the knees, a wine cooler and one of those built in Miele coffee makers that are all the rage in high end kitchen designs. Since Your Mama makes coffee the old-fashioned way in a Cemex, we don't see the appeal of all these complicated coffee contraptions. But then again, we've never used one either so what do we know?

Now then, let's quickly discuss the "ultramodern" poopers. All that glass tile is nice but those soup bowl sinks are way too trendy and definitely not our cup of tea. We've also got a beef with the photo of the terlit and naughty bits washer. Was this necessary? Does anyone really want to look at that half roll of terlit paper and think about Mister Hamilton sitting there doing his dirty bizness? No, of course not. Listing to Your Mama on this one real estate people: Iffin the terlit happens to be in a photo of the bathroom, that's fine, but a photo of the terlit itself is a no-no.

We know that many of the children will decry West Palm Beach as déclassé and decidedly not–now say this with a locked jaw chickens–the reeeuhl Palm Beach, but Mister Hamilton really has little or nothing to prove real estate-wise given that over his many years he has owned or occupied a number of notable properties including an 18-room Antebellum mansion on a 250-acre plantation in Natchez, Mississippi, Charlie Chaplin's old house on Summit Drive in Beverly Hills, a two-unit combo-condo on the 23rd floor of the celebrity stuffed Sierra Towers building in West Hollywood and sometime prior to that he inhabited Grayhall Manor, a legendary residential extravaganza on Carolyn Way that is often referenced as the second oldest estate in Beverly Hills and where Douglas Fairbanks lived while building nearby Pickfair. It was later the home of Herbalife founder Mark Hughes and is widely rumored to have an underground tunnel that leads to Pickfair. Although we don't know at what property Mister Hamilton currently parks his Corniche, we do know that in November of 2008 he paid $1,100,000 for a two bedroom, 1,863 square foot condo in a full service but non-descript building in Los Angeles along the Wilshire Corridor near Westwood and the campus of UCLA.

25 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

I don't care how much the Flair Decorating company of west Palm Beach spent on glass tiles, a condo that was purchased in 2008 for $525,000 is worth less than that in todays Florida market.

Henry Flagler said...

WEST Palm Beach? C'est degoutant. But so is the entire place--and more of those ridiculous bowl bathroom sinks. Especially love the track lighting in the living room. Btw I remember Natchez locals' tales of his swishing into that town sometime in the 90s--whatever happened to that property?

angeleyes said...

While nice enough, it's nothing to write home about, and looks to be beyond somewhat lacking in enough windows to let in sufficient natural light. I like the condo we just bought for my oldest son to live in while he's away starting college this year alot better. We didn't pay anywhere close $1M+ for it either.

Anonymous said...

I don't care about this decor at all, even about the kitchen. The price is outlandish. I am thinking it is half to a full million overpriced.

StPaulSnowman said...

Yes siree bob.........a bidet and some edgy sinks will turn a run of the mill condo into a property celebrity every time! I can just imagine the pink and pearl the conch shell sconces that must illuminate the entrance hall.

The Preppy Pauper said...

Okay, we can debate the decor and monetary value of this condo, but I am transfixed and horrified by the mirror wall beside the toilet in the bathroom. How can you sit there and do your business while seeing YOURSELF in full view on the throne? Yikes!

Viva! said...

I love George Hamilton...one of the few celebrities with a fabulous sense of humor about himself. Anybody who writes a memoir and titles it 'Don't Mind If I Do' is great in my books.

Though this renovation is quite overpiced, if you ask me, it is pretty okay. The furnishings are where they screwed up. I like the bathroom, I like the kitchen, I like the look of the building but I HATE the furniture.

I would think George lives in the nondescript, but full service, building along the Wilshire corridor...though I bet George wishes he'd kept his place in Sierra Towers: Joan Collins, Diahann Carroll, Elton John, Cher AND Nikki Haskell all live there, he'd be right at home.

Robert said...

just moved from W Palm Beach just down Flagler Druve from George and i can tell you that Waterview Towers is one depressing, ugly building.
The lobby is vomitacious(sp). The parking garage is not underneath the buiding. But the worst thing is that the nearby bridge to Palm Beach is due to be taken down next year and the new bridge will take 2 or 3 years to construct. Having lived near the "middle bridge" when it was recently replaced, you do not want to know about the destruction/construction noise for the next 4 years.
The building itself is old and shabby. Your criticism of the interior of the building is nothing compared to the exterior problems, some of which you can see from the picture.
If that were not enough, the price is absurd.....easily double the value. As the writer above stated, the apt is worth what he paid or less.
He must be in deep denial, made a mistake, or is just plain wrong if a retired couple from Brooklyn cares that George Hamilton lived there.

Nancy/PA said...

Where is the money shot? Does this place not have a view? Nary a mention of it in the description, but we get to see the toilet and bidet twice. Is that supposed to be a selling point? George Hamilton pooped here?

250k max said...

what kind of moron trys to flip a florida condo in 2008?

Oh...that kind of moron.

Chris said...

Have his fortunes deteriorated this much? The "daycore" is beyond comment. But you forgot his best performance by far. In "Love at First Bite" he was beyond hilarious. One of the funniest movies ever.

Anonymous said...

Ha.
All that tanning must have gone to his head.
That place is worth $325,000 and not a penny more.
What a damn daydreamer.

NewYorkQueer said...

In 2007 an friend of mine turned down 800,000.00 for her 2 bed, 2.5 bath, penthouse, with 2 terraces, in a white glove West PB building, this year the bank refused a mortgage of 250,000 with 100,000 down in cash. I say good luck selling this turkey. Decorating? Where, the apartment next door perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Isn't Mr. Hamilton getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today?

Mrs Post said...

White gloves in West Palm? Isn't that an oxymoron?

Robert said...

TO New York Queer.

If I am correct, your friend owned an end apt at Trump Plaza...26H, I believe. She refused to negotiate and pulled the listing in a W Palm Beach huff.
Then they bought my penthouse.
I am so happy they did, so I could move to LA.

Anonymous said...

This comment section is like a "Housewives" episode. Now if only Mr. Cage would post!

Sandpiper said...

We'll take that as a compliment, anon 10:06.

To get back on caddy track, I couldn't resist...

Took a look at other listings in this building. Won't dare attempt making sense of these prices, but I agree that $1.2 is high for a 2 BR, 2 BA -- even with a bidet and spot lit bed. Who knew?

A penthouse with 3 BR, 2.5 BA and 4 balconies (E, N & W) is asking $1.1.

A 3/2 and a 3/3 in the building are asking $695 and $1.09.

His direct competition, a couple of other 2/2s, are hoping for $650 and $899.

Crazy times, eh?

Anonymous said...

Thank you Chris - I was just reading thru so I could post a comment re my favorite: Love at First Bite.

Wild Safari said...

@Mr. Post and Henry Flagler, West Palm Beach is the NEW Palm Beach, or didn't you know? What with the Madoff scandal and the real estate nosedive, all the locals are flocking to the wetern shore of the intracoastal.

As for M. Hamilton's abode, I am not all that impressed by the building. He would have done better to purchase a waterfront home with a private dock than to invest in that particular building. He does have stunning view, however.

gregory said...

It's bland and boring, and the mirrors in the bathroom. I think not.....

Anonymous said...

wanker

Anonymous said...

beautiful home

ruth said...

it is a beautiful home that i love

Lola said...

Wow-awful. The dining room is so gaudy esp that horrific mirror. Ugh.

Can glass tiles crack? And how slippery are they? Glass floors just seems dangerous but I don't really know.

I had to laugh out loud when I realized that there WEREN'T his and hers toilets and bidets in the bathroom. Can you imagine? hah! But just a little less horrible is the mirror there. Never a pretty sight. Ever.

Tacky.