Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sliced, Diced Chopped, Slashed, Hacked and Shaved

We apologize once again for our tardiness and lack of attention. Not only was today a travel day, but it's taken Your Mama a couple of days to recover from the dee-voon debauchery that ensued at the wild and wonderful wedding of our finely feathered friend Falsetta Knockers and her louche literary lover. Besides, whether y'all like it or not, we're entitled to a few days of child-freedom without having to endure a bunch of bitching from morons upset that we did not put something up on a damn Sunday. Pleeze. Get a damn grip. When y'all start paying our mortgage you can start running your mouth about our comings and goings. Until then, we do not want to hear it. Anyhoo...

Today, Your Mama is going to go slightly off topic and discuss a number of high priced properties that have recently undergone heavy duty price cuts. Your Mama knows this topic will unleash a fuming and vengeful army of Chicken Littles who will holler and howl about how the real estate sky is falling and blather on endlessly about how the global economy appears to be going to hell in Joe Cassano and Timothy Geithner's hand baskets of complex financial instruments. But a case can be made that these properties were priced too high even for the white hot markets of 2004 and 2005 and their lower asking prices are simply owners having a necessary real estate reality check about the value of their residential assets. Whatever your stand on the matter may be, it's increasingly clear that many owners of exuberantly priced properties who actually want to sell them have had to start shaving, slashing, chopping and hacking at the asking prices of their prodigiously priced real estate white elephants.

We cherry picked properties from the deep recesses of our gin soaked mind and are well aware our little list of properties with recent price cuts is far from complete, so do not go workin' Your Mama's last nerve with some self righteous donkey crap about how we missed this property or failed to include that price cut. We know. So it's not going to be very interesting news to have y'all screaming about it.

Let's start down in the quicksand of Florida's sinking real estate markets where former professional golfer and Chris Evert wooer Greg Norman has reduced the asking price of Tranquility, his jinormous Jupiter Island estate, from a teeth chattering $65,000,000 to a still staggering $47,000,000. The 7.4-acre estate was first hoisted on to the open market sometime in late 2007 and, according to listing information, the ocean front property also includes 370-feet of Intracoastal Waterway frontage, a 140-foot long dock, 17,825 square feet of air conditioned space spread across 6 structures that contain a grand total of 9 bedrooms, 11 full and 3 half bathrooms. Not bad for a dude who swats a little white ball around the lawn.

Up the right coast, the late Brooke Astor's legendary doo-plex apartment was first put on the market in a blaze of publicity in May of 2008 with a not entirely unexpected asking price of $46,000,000. However, a lack of qualified or interested buyers has forced the asking price of the palatial and perfectly provenanced Park Avenue co-op apartment all the way down to $29,000,000. Listing information and floor plan renderings reveal the 14-room residence features 5 principal bedrooms that share 4.5 bathrooms plus 3 itty bitty staff rooms that all share a single terlit. There are also 6 terraces, 5 fireplaces, 24 closets (and 1 dressing room), a vault for the valuables, a private elevator landing and, of course, that red lacquered library where the inestimable Miz Astor hosted untold numbers of luminaries, high society types, bizness barons and political movers and shakers.

A few blocks away from Miz Astor's doo-plex is the never lived Astor Suite at The Plaza which is owned by German biznessman Jürgen Friedrich who purchased the 5th floor sprawler in November of 2007 for $25,036,463 and boldly flipped it back on the market in September of 2008 with a stunning asking price of $55,000,000. Your Mama does not even need to consult our bejeweled abacus to see that's more than twice what the clothing tycoon paid for the 4,284 square foot apartment. The listing for the 3 bedroom and 5 bathroom apartment disappeared just days after being listed on the open market and then popped up again in December of 2008 with a new listing agent and a new and lower–but still optimistic–asking price of $38,000,000. In the summer of 2008 the lavish living Mister Friedrich also listed his 18,000 square foot weekend getaway in Southampton, NY with a goose pimple producing asking price of $67,500,000.

The west coast has also seen its fair share of asking price slices and dices. Super producer Jon Peters (Superman and Batman franchises, Bonfire of the Vanities, Rain Man and Flashdance to name a few) has long owned and been planning to build an opulent 30,000 square foot Richard Landry designed mega-mansion on Tower Lane in Beverly Hills but change his mind in late 2007 when the multi-parcel, partially developed 6+ acre property first hit the open market with a hefty price tag of $39,500,000. The property currently includes a very long, winding driveway, swimming pool complex and an underground garage that holds 14 or 25 cars, depending on whether you consult new or old listings. What that forty million clams did not include, rather surprisingly, was an actual house where the insanely rich buyer could actually live. After languishing for an eternity, the listing disappeared from the MLS only to reappear recently with an drastically slashed asking price of $19,995,000, which Your Mama's admittedly rudimentary calculations on our bejeweled abacus show represents a near 50% price reduction.

Another high profile property owner who has hacked nearly 50% off the asking price of his Bel Air residence is hair challenged and Oscar wining actor Nic Cage who possesses a bulging portfolio of trophy properties around the world, several of which are currently listed for sale with fat asking prices. Mister Cage's long time Los Angeles crib is a legendary 11,817 square foot brick built behemoth on Bel Air's Copa de Oro Road that he's been trying to unload for a number of years. Mister Cage, a man with a bit of a fetish for houses with storied pasts, is hardly the only celeb to occupy the prime 1-acre parcel East Gate property which was formerly owned by both . cheesetastic crooner Tom Jones and womanizing Rat Packer Dean Martin. First listed on the open market in September of 2007, the current asking price for the ivy covered 7 bedroom–some say 9 bedroom–and 9 bathroom mansion has dropped drastically to $19,750,000, a figure which our bejeweled abacus reveals is a stunning 44% drop from the original asking price of $35,000,000.

On the other side of Los Angeles, in the gated Laughlin Park community, the historic Cecil B. DeMille estate hit the market in late May of 2008 with an unheard of for that neck of the woods $26,250,000 and has been subjected to several price cuts that leave it currently with a still very high but substantially less$18,900,000.

Prolific Platinum Triangle property developer/flipper John Bersci has been trying to sell The Harvey Mudd Estate, which happens to be his personal residence in Beverly Hills. First listed in October of 2008 at $11,495,000, the 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom Elmer Grey designed digs has undergone several price chops and recently had a hefty $1,000,000 was hacked off the asking price which now stands at $7,995,000.

A smaller chop, but no less an indication of the depth and breadth of price plunging, is the Bel Air manse of big-booty entertainment juggernaut Jennifer Lopez and her pin thin huzband Mark Anthony who listed their 4 bedroom and 5.5 house in November of 2008 with an asking price of $8,500,000. The French Farmhouse style pile on swank St. Pierre Road now has an asking price of $7,900,000. The three-quarter acre property is heavily secured and includes well tended specimen gardens, a guest house, a pool and pool house and The Jonas Brothers for next door neighbors.


avg joe :{} said...

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

Anonymous said...

Mama........all those price chops and still none have sold. What will the current market bear?

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:02,

Only time will tell. A big majority of these cuts were taken in the last week or so. So it's not surprising they haven't sold yet. A month or two out and they maybe having to considering another chop.

Anonymous said...

Most of these price reductions are no surprise at all. These teeth chattering asking prices weren't selling when the market was red hott and the ice-age cooling we are recieving is pushing some of these sellers closer to reality. Los Angeles, still has TONS of property that are priced as if they are in the hottest market. It should be interesting to see where they all eventually sell (if they do.)

pch said...

$20 million for the Tower Lane acreage seems like a very, very good deal. I noticed that, too. Still pissed off that the owner tore down the house Wallace Neff built for King Vidor, but it's a small mercy that the Landry designed to replace it has not been realized.

Anonymous said...

There are LOADS more...

40 Beverly Park -
Original List: $49,000,000
Present List: $31,500,000

969 Bel Air Road
Original List: $49,995,000
Present List: $31,500,000

10701 Bellagio Rd (Land)
Original List: $39,995,000
Present List: $29,950,000

66 Beverly Park (Robert Bisno)
Original List: $29,500,000
Present List: $22,500,000

219 S Mapleton Dr (John Bersci flip that Ben Afflect / Jen Garner supposibly almost bought for $23m)
Original List: $27,500,000
Present List: $19,900,000

595 S mapleton Dr
Original List: $25,000,000
Present List: $16,900,000

12300 Mulholland Dr
Original List: $20,000,000
Present List: $15,900,000

15000 Mulholland Dr
Original List: $25,000,000
Present List: $14,995,000

1446 Donhill
Original List: $16,500,000
Present List: $11,500,000

3103 Clerendon
Original List: $12,995,000
Present List: $8,750,000

2680 Bowmont Dr
Original List: $13,995,000
Present List: $7,999,000

1615 Rising Glen
Original List: $9,980,000 Shopped at higher before listing
Present List: $6,500,000

Anonymous said...

how about a write up on the most ridiculously overprice properties in los angeles? doesnt necessarily mean the highest priced, just the ones that are overpriced

Anonymous said...

You asked about some overpriced LA Properties. I am going to leave some of the "Mega Estate of Bel Air & Beverly Hills" out because their value is so subjective to the purchaser even in a hot market.

Here is a list of properties that really strike me at first glance as to considerably overpriced when considering size and price and comparables.

12700 Chalon Rd - $34,900,000
Thrasher - $29,500,000 (Most expensive Bird Street listing ever - 11,166 sq ft)
901 Airole Way - $29,000,000
2005 N Cresent - $28,500,000
79 Beverly Park - $28,000,000
Oriole Dr - $28,000,000
500 S Mapleton $27,995,000
1423 Oriole Dr - $20,000,000
14 Beverly Park - $19,995,000
2600 Summitridge Dr - $19,995,000
12759 Chalon Rd - $19,900,000
9362 Nightingale Dr - $17,995,000
3121 Antelo Rd - $17,500,000
9550 Oak Pass Rd - $15,000,000
15000 Mulholland Dr - $14,995,000
1029 N Hillcrest Rd - $10,500,000
1032 Cove Way - $10,000,000
8570 Cole Crest Dr - $9,995,000 (bc its hideous & disgusting)
4875 Louise Ave - $9,395,000... in Encino are you kidding?
7322 hayvenhurst Ave - $8,495,000 gorgeous renovation but considering what they paid and Encino location the price is unrealistic.
9405 nSierra Mar - $7,799,000
7571 Mulholland Dr - $7,495,000
1271 St Ives Pl - $6,995,000
2189 Sunset Plaza Dr - $6,995,000
9444 Sierra Mar Pl - $6,250,000
1641 Woods Dr - $4,950,000
11540 Kelsey St - $4,195,000 (was on the market in Nov '08 for $3,349,000 - seller must be stupid)

There are tons more

coco said...

Your mama, I saw you on one of those VH1 show talking about celebrity real estate. You look cute with your stubble. Keep up the good work on this blog.

avg joe said...

i wanna her about the safe house...

why do you think the safe house is overpriced? its huge, like 16,000 sq ft

you're dumb

avg joe :{} said...

nice try anon. i'm the real avg joe and i am better at flaming that you will ever be.

the safe house is 23,000 sf. dumb ass.

Anonymous said...

avg joe you need to eat shit and die

Anonymous said...

Does Miz Leighton Candler still have the Astor listing? As for the aspects of scandal that come to mind, what's happening with the Astor son and his trial? And whatever happened to La Candler and her ladee-love's big breakup? I guess I should comment on the apartment itself, this being a real-estate blog and all-- I hear it's a mess, un-modren-ized.

Anonymous said...

if i hear about the SAFE HOUE ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Anonymous said...

Mama was on VH1?? Im sorry I missed that.

And please, Mama, dont feel like you need to offer an apology or reason for a damned one day absence. There are plenty of sites that might serve as wet nurse for the children not yet weened.

Im shocked that the Astor apartment hasnt sold in nigh on a year. Certainly this karate chop will have buyers lined up?

angeleyes said...

Excellent article Mama. You could probably make it an ongoing feature. Suze Orman, who is usually correct about things, was quoted in a recent Time magazine article as saying she dosen't expect the economy to turn around until - hope your nerve pills are handy - 2015, 6 years from now. Needless to say, I hope she's wrong this time.

BTW, Suze has long kept 95% of her assets in triple-A-rated and insured zero-coupon municipal bonds, for anyone who values the practical advice of a financial expert who prefers a relatively secure investment with modest returns over gambling on either real estate or the stock market.

Anonymous said...


CandianWench said...

You're fowl mouth crap needs to stop on here. May the lord have mercy on your pitiful, ignorant soul.

avg joe :{} said...

i like this new guy

avg joe :{} said...

bite me

Anonymous said...

yet another faithful reader logging off for good.

Anonymous said...

Anon, stop it already and go away! You are ruining a perfectly good blog with your insane, lude and disgusting comments.

pawleeanna said...

"and we wish to welcome you to munchkin land!"

:{} avg joe said...

I bet even if they knocked prices off by 90% there will still be no buyers in sight, even the carvan from china, europe was an outright fraud, they wanted to borrow the money from our banks, what a joke

just sayin

:{} avg joe

btw the first comment was not me, it was probably psychotic broke anon that wrote it

why the fuck he or she follows me around is..........

well at this point keep on following me and wasting your days and evenings you fucking nut job

avg joe signing out

ha ha

:{} avg joe said...

I had no idea this anon was putting up so many avg joe comments

he or she may be truly losing their mental health in real life, mama should send the loony bin to their place of residence which is the coffee shop on highland and labrea

just sayin

avg joe signing out again

Anonymous said...

Lotta angry gays up in here! LOVE YOU MAMA!

Anonymous said...

Hey "Avg Joe" at 6:23pm,

Who is following whom if you say you aren't the five Avg Joe posts from earlier than 6:23pm?

Wouldn't that make you the one doing the following??

Just sayin...

Lucy said...

If you turn off your comments, Mama, then you lose the interesting and insightful comments that some of your readers write. As a Chicagoan (with family in CA and FL), I love reading the CA 'natives' write about the local real estate, especially when the properties are near my sibling's home. Many are smartly funny and I often learn something new. Always a plus.

However, if you turned them off (or moderated could do that, I suppose, although it would require more effort on your part), your urbane and witty readers wouldn't have to wade through the bullshit comments that some idjits like to leave here.

Doesn't it get old?

Anonymous said...

bersci has 8 mega properties in development...who is he building these for?

Anonymous said...

Mama, you should do a post solely on the properties that John Bersci has for sale. There are quite a few on the market right now.

:{} avg joe said...

anon 7:39

waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga waga

:{} avg joe said...

I was trying to communicate with this idiot anon 7 39

just sayin

:{} avg joe

Georgica Pond said...

Leighton Candler lost the Astor listing to Kirk Hinckels (sic) of Stribling. As if it mattered who the broker was at that price in this market! Is Miz Candler a lezzybean? interesting....

Anonymous said...

Really Joe? I couldn't tell any difference between your post at 9:48 and anything else you write.

:{} avg joe said...

waga waga waga waga waga waga waga ?

Eric said...

And the Jon Peters flat lot is right next to the monster contemporay pile that Ovitz is building...that's a crazy neighborhood!!

Anonymous said...

Some people are just nuts and really not getting it.

3001 Arrowhead Drive, Hollywood Hills

Brand new construction that was on the market late 2007 for $9,750,000.. sold for $8,480,000 12/06/07

Just listed for $12,500,000

What are people thinking? The worst market ever and trying to turn a $4mm profit in a year and a half. And no, they didn't remodel a thing or expand.

Anonymous said...


First listed on the open market in September of 2007, the current asking price for the ivy covered 7 bedroom–some say 9 bedroom–and 9 bathroom mansion has dropped drastically to $19,750,000, a figure which our bejeweled abacus reveals is a stunning 44% drop from the original asking price of $35,000,000.

Anonymous said...

"bejeweled abacus" where have I heard that before?

Anonymous said...

Anon 538, get a grip

Look at the asking prices in London. But Americans are greedy. You are so fuckin stupid that you just like to say everything bad is Americans. There are price chops around the world. And the insanely expensive real estate isn't even in the US. So go fuck yourself

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:38 - yeah, it's just the Americans.

As for the comments, I've gotten good at scanning down quickly and ignoring the moronic ones. It's more work, but it's worth it be able to read the more entertaining and insightful ones.

And as for the prices, it's amazing how many people are still just throwing numbers up in the air to see if they'll stick. The original asking prices were just pure fantasy, and with inventory building, the new prices are probably way too high too.

Anonymous said...

Well, Mlle Pond, considering all the terlit-talk here lately, what's a little idle society gossip (except when it goes off track--see below)? Yes, I have heard it whispered in my rarefied circles that Miz Candler of the Coca-Cola Candlers is a rug muncher--though I don't think she lurks in any closets. But I must confess to having made a grave error. Mea culpa--I now realize that I know nothing of her domestic arrangements. I was confusing her with another society power-muffdiver, one who had a messy dee-vorce from her ladee-love/daughter a while back. The big recent lezbean dee-vorce story that I was thinking of is that of Miz Olive Watson, of the IBM Watsons, and her rather complicated love life.

bentley said...

The Astor apartment, as provenanced as it may be, has a somewhat awkward layout that may turn some people off. The price, matched swith strict renovation rules imposed by coop boards, could be more of a headache than many are willing to take on.

Anonymous said...

not to mention getting passed by the board in the first place....

Anonymous said...

Actually what Idiot Joe is writing now (waja or whatever) is more interesting than his usual trolling.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I hear from multiple RE agent friends here in Buckhead that Atlanta's market is very busy these days. So maybe once prices get where they should be elsewhere, things will move again.

Anonymous said...

atlanta is as bad as detroit

of course if they are selling homes or taking offers for 70-90% off the listing then it is doing good

Anonymous said...


Fort Worth girl teen stabbed after MySpace spat

09:38 AM CDT on Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Associated Press

FORT WORTH, Texas -- A 14-year-old middle school girl in Fort Worth was stabbed in the chest with scissors after fighting with another girl over postings on a MySpace page.

Police say the girl suffered two small, shallow puncture wounds in the Monday stabbing. Her injuries are not serious or life-threatening. The other girl was taken to a juvenile detention facility.

Police said the argument involved negative comments about one of the girls made on a MySpace page.

Anonymous said...

Well, that little story fits right in with the title of this entry-- sliced diced chopped slashed etc...

avg joe :{} said...

all the more reason not to let me know who you really are 11:46. Phil Spector is my idol.

Anonymous said...

is that a death threat? do I need to take this to another level?

Anonymous said...

stop being a nag.

Anonymous said...

The DeMille home is way over-priced and needs a 50% chop. They will be lucky to get $10 million.

Anonymous said...

1:12 - I can hear the owners laughing at you from here and I'm a mile & a half north of them.