Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mel B Is Moving On

SELLER: Melanie Brown
LOCATION: Mount Olympus Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,999,999
SIZE: 3,476 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Magnificent contemp masterpiece surrounded by a tropical oasis. Purchased in 2007, this ultra chic showplace has undergone close to a $1m make over. Lush landscaping & 8 camera security system w/ night vision create complete security & privacy. W/ a saline pool, spa, 3 waterfalls, state of the art entertainment system, outdoor living room w/ flat screen & Viking outdoor kitchen, this is resort living at its finest. Sweeping city & ocean views, art walls, gourmet kitchen & open flr plan.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today, Your Mama discussed the moronic rumors about Dave and Vicki Beckham selling their Beverly Hills house to that wild eyed Tom Crooz character and his mousy wifey Katie and we're going to continue with the Spice Girls theme this afternoon and discuss the Los Angeles house that Melanie Brown, otherwise known as Scary Spice, otherwise known as Mel B, just listed with an asking price of $2,999,999.

Miz B first climbed high on the elusive ladder of fame as a member of the Spice Girls girl group but in 2006/07 she elevated her celebrity quotient into the stratosphere by mixing it up tranny luvin' Eddie Murphy and becoming one of his many baby mamas. Miz B and her crack team of publicists and managers managed to successfully parlay her Eddie Murphy baby mama drama into a much coveted spot the sparkling stage of that hugely popular but upsetting to Your Mama's sensibilities Dancing With The Stars program. Miz B's next professional engagement is, apparently, in Sin City where the singing and dancing diva is scheduled to perform–in her underwear–in a risque and "woman empowering" review called Peep Show.

Property records and previous reports reveal that Miz B bought her contemporary crib on Mount Olympus Drive in August of 2007 for an even-steven $3,000,000. Given that the property is now priced exactly one dollar less than she paid, she's obviously going to take a substantial financial hit, particularly when you factor in the near one million clams listing information claims Miz B put into the place in renovations and re-dos.

Although rich and famous folks are notoriously fickle in their real estate comings and goings, Your Mama can't help but wonder why Miz B would choose to move now, in this rather unstable real estate market in which she's going to lose a big bundle of buckage. Babbling Babette, one of our more adorable tattle tales, whispered in our big ear that Miz B and her man-mate Stephen Belafonte are eager to sell so they can move to a house with more room for their combined quartet of children produced from three previous relationships. Your Mama thinks it's really very sweet of them to think of their children's best interests this way, but didn't they have four children when they bought this damn place in 2007? Seems like somebody was not using their noggin when they should have been.

Anyhoo, listing information shows the two story residence measures 3,476 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Additional rooms include an open plan living, dining and kitchen area with white walls, chocolate stained wood floors and cabinetry, walls of windows that slide open and a full suite of high-grade if somewhat chintzy-sized stainless steel appliances.

Among other bits and pieces, the near million dollar make-over included swapping the existing staircase out for a curving and nearly transparent glass and steel contraption that would befuddle and scare the bejeezis out of our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly who are, bless their tiny hearts, having issues with their eyesight. Miz B and Mister Belafonte also expanded the second floor deck the full length of the front facing three car garage where they've placed an outdoor pool table. Christ almighty children, who knew you could buy a pool table able to withstand the elements? Not Your Mama nor the Dr. Cooter, that's for sure.

It also appears to Your Mama that Miz B replaced the old master bathroom with an all glass and grey veined marble affair that has more in common stylistically with a high-toned mausoleum than it does with a master bathroom. Don't misunderstand Your Mama, we love us some tombstone grade marble as much as the next person, but too much of a good thing is, well, too much of a good thing. We might have recommended the nice gay marble loving decorator have left the wall behind the floating sink cabinet marble free. But that's just us. Some of you children may think bathing and doing the dirty bizness in a damn crypt is cool.

The backyard is really a large courtyard at the side of the house and includes an amoeba shaped saline swimming pool and spa surrounded by some nifty flag stone terracing, an outdoor kitchen full of Viking brand appliances, three waterfalls (when 1 would probably be enough), and and outdoor living room complete with, natch, a flat screen boob toob and a whole bunch of white furniture.

The last feature of the house that will appeal to all the paranoid children is the state of the art security system which features eight video cameras equipped with night vision.

Your Mama wishes Miz B all the best in her new show and her next home because although we find her career path to be a little icky, we find we always like her immensely when we see her interviewed on the tee vee, something we can't say about very many famous people.

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just looked at the pictures from when you wrote this place upwhen she purchased it, next to nothing other than the master bathroom and master bedroom fireplace has changed. No way she up-graded it for $1mm. Must be the reno from right before she bought it????

Anonymous said...

If she spent $1mm on the renovations she totally got F'd.

Anonymous said...

The whole master bathroom is open to the bedroom by a glass wall. Hope the new owners are exibitionist and odn't mind being watched in the shower.

StPaulSnowman said...

Frosted contact paper on the above mentioned glass wall will solve the problem and fit right in with the quality of these interiors. So many listings I have seen mention the "one million in upgrades by the seller." There maybe one born every minute but not in this real estate market. Thanks for the afternoon post Mama.

StPaulSnowman said...

make that.........may be...........sorry!

Anonymous said...

i call bullsit here, flippers like jeff lewis spend a few hundred thousand dollars on reno's and take a shit box to beautiful. this house was almost in the exact state is in now, she did a few renos including the master bath, which a bath reno can get pricey, but come on, if anyone is dumb enough to believe she spend a million and is selling it for less thanw hat she paid they are stupid.

that said, poor mel b, this place will sell in the mid $2mm range. i acually do like it and im not quite sure what the above commenter is talking about the finishes are pretty high end

Anonymous said...

Your Momma, in response to your question about why Mel B would choose to sell now in the midst of this tough market. The fact of the matter is that her house will be worth even less next year and then less the following year. Price appreciation isn't going to happen in L.A. for at least 5 years.

Anonymous said...

i remember when this house went on the market and if they spent 1 million clams post-purchase, they got ripped off. there is very little in changes and i'm calling BS as well on the price of changes.

StPaulSnowman said...

I was referring to the lucite spiral staircase and the "oh look, I can afford marble veneer everywhere" bathroom.

Anonymous said...

I think all these blanket claims of we aren't going to see apprciate for "blank" years is crap. The market will turn around and when it does it will quick, that maybe five years from now and it may not be.

Anonymous said...

I think this house is actually pretty appealing. Most of the homes in this price point are either smaller or need some work, that I've seen. This is a decent size house and decently redone, taste may not be yours but its a complete project in a relatively nice local.

I'd buy it.

Anonymous said...

Am I wrong, or is the only fireplace in the entire house is the master bedroom? While I LOVE a romantic master suite with fireplace, I think the living room should take precedence if there is only going to be one.

HotSauce said...

You see that poor hound dog on the floor? I'm sure he's scared to go up those crazy ass stairs! I'm sure Linda and Beverly would'nt and I know my Fabio and Meatball would'nt neither!

Anonymous said...

They didn't even really gut remodeled the bathroom, look at the before and afters of the tub, same tub and setup! Just slapped marble on everything and a new vanity. Definately did not spend $1mm

Viva! said...

I think the million dollar renovation happened before Mel B bought the house, it's hardly changed since she bought it. Otherwise, I'm guessing that the term "one million dollars" is used the same way Elizabeth Taylor's handlers tell her she looks like "one million dollars" when she heads out for a night on the town...

I like this house. I liked it before Mel B bought it and I still like it. Nice layout, nice finishings, nice landscaping. She makes $2 million a year in Spice Girls royalties (they 'wrote' their own music)...so she's just dumping it because she doesn't like it.

Anonymous said...

I hate the cheap recessed lighting throughout the house. Those big ugly ones are so 1980's spend some doe on halogens Ms. Million Dollar up-grades.

Anonymous said...

The house does have the halogens, the only old ghetto ones are in the kitchen, nto sure why they did that.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:57

Look at that bathroom picture closely again. There is a sheer white curtain on a hopstial style track that you can slide across for privacy. HAHA. Maybe if she spent $2mm you'd get a wall.

Anonymous said...

Who billed out the reno's? The US Gov't?

Anonymous said...

http://www.viewmtolympus.com/

Anonymous said...

I like the PVC pipes clearly visible on the fountains. Classey

Anonymous said...

Darlin' I love you, but wake me when you're done with the Spice Sluts.

Anonymous said...

The staircase isn't lucite.

Anonymous said...

"I think all these blanket claims of we aren't going to see apprciate for 'blank' years is crap. The market will turn around and when it does it will quick, that maybe five years from now and it may not be."

Anon 4:17-- would you care to translate that?

Babe Parish said...

this is shane mckutcheon's and my love nest...
:P

wah-wah..

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:21 - I am not 4:17 but let me take a stab at it. It translates to none of the posters here will be able to afford this house now or at anytime in the future unless they will the SuperLotto.

Starck Mad said...

This is really nice actually!

Anonymous said...

Cool house, but it's a shame it's in Mt. Olympus. Why does that whole area seem so damn tacky?

Anonymous said...

I was saying, that none of the expert and non experts that think they know what's going on really know squat. We are in unchartered waters and they are throwing out guesses hoping they are the one who ends up being correct.

Anonymous said...

Con't

There are a variety of factors that got us here and a variety of things that could solve it depending how they all come together no one really knows when this crash will stop.

Anonymous said...

"California home prices drop nearly 41% from year ago"

so fucking what ....

Kieran said...

If i imagine myself as a spice girl I see myself having a nicer home than this.

Kieran said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I'm sure its not her only home. A lot of these celebs have multiple homes, how big and nuts of a house do you really need when you spend half your time traveling and at other properties? If I had a ton of money, I would have several nice but modern homes as oppose to one or two mega homes.

Anonymous said...

that was suppose to be nice but modest not modern, although modern would apply too

Anonymous said...

Just ignoring those nearest to me comments....

Now, I'm not all familiar with Mt Olympus, why is this a bad area?

Anonymous said...

Think a mix of really bad 70s/80s cocaine-chic tract housing and Persian gaudyness and you have 80% of the homes in Mount Olympus.

Anonymous said...

8:37 - It's really not a bad area. Just the usual comments around here bashing anything different from what is outside their front door.

It is located on the east side of Laurel Canyon above Hollywood Blvd. The views are similar to the Bird Streets neighborhood to the west of it. Most of the houses were built between the mid-60s to mid-70s so those that have not been remodeled/updated/expanded are a little dated looking. The neighborhood has its share of tacky remodels and some very nice ones. The houses average around 4,000 s.f. so not tract houses (by LA standards anyway).

The other reason I think some people love to hate on it is the name of the community & streets sound like something someone would have come up with in the early 70s. "Mount Olympus" with street names like "Hercules", "Achilles", and "Venus"...

Georgica Pond said...

oh mt. olympus does have that strange holdover 80's coke party porn shoot kind of vibe. I know that an openly gay rock star used to live there (and the parties were supposedly off the chain!)as well as Esther Phillips before she passed, god bless her. There was also something tacky about the Mt Olympus entrance that was rather incongruous with the rest of Laurel Canyon Blvd.

Anonymous said...

Mt Olympus - the number of Porn movies made in these houses is staggering. Alot of the homes here are available for daily lease through a company.

The owners just leave for the day and in comes the porn crew.

Anonymous said...

Considering the number of Mt. Olympus houses that are still in the hands of the now elderly original owners, I doubt very seriously that the comment at 8:02 is even close to true. Just another stupid stereotype to put down a neighborhood that someone will never be able to afford.

Anonymous said...

I don't know anything about porn flicks being made in Mount Olympus houses, but I do know that if you drive around those streets, many of the houses are butt ugly architectural abortions.

Of course, being at the top of a mountain means many also have amazing views and it is a very central location which is part of what justifies the relatively high cost of the area.

But to pretend that there are very many houses up there that look even half as good as Mel B's is a little strange to anyone who's roamed around up there and knows this is not a neighborhood known for its architectural integrity.

Anonymous said...

Mt Olympus is a decent "middle priced" area of LA. While you may not consider these prices middle, for LA they are.

As previous poster stated, the views are similar to the Bird Streets without the insane price tag that this exact same house would carry just a short distance to the west on Thrasher, Rising Glen, etc etc (imput your favorite Bird Street here).

Mel's house is high up in Mount Olympus with puts it in the prime area for redevelopment. While you all put down this area, throughout LA including the Bird Streets there are tons of renovations that are pure abortions.

I would buy this house based on its central location, pretty nice views, decent layout and decor. But, you would be "king of the hill" living here. As long as you're not concerned about keeping up with the Jone's, who cares.

Anonymous said...

March 26, 2009 8:35 AM

yes, they are in the hands of the old. And the old don't mind renting out the house for the porn crew for $5,000. Easy money for a pensioner.

Anonymous said...

Oh please, the last thing the old people are going to do is rent their house out to a porn shoot that their children and grand children will be watching and saying, "oh, thats grandma's house"

Anonymous said...

I have to agree. I'm sure there are any number of people who would gladly rent their house for a porn shoot, but I would imagine very few would be septuagenarian pensioners sitting on real estate worth a couple million bucks.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention those old folks are the ones living in the untouched homes...which wouldn't be desirable porn shoot locations unless you're shooting "That 70s Wh*re".

Anonymous said...

9:36 - No way the homes in Mt. Olympus are "middle priced" for LA. The median (hint: "middle") home price in LA is down to around 300k. The median for Mt. Olympus is 1.5 and 2 million.

Anonymous said...

Make that "between" 1.5 and 2 million.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:48.

Go troll somewhere else.

Unless you're moving to the GHETOOOO you aint gettin nothing not even a vacant lot in LA for $300k

Anonymous said...

12:23 - Get your Sean Jean sunglasses out of your a**.

The "GHETOOOO" as you call it is still Los Angeles.

Perhaps what you should have written in your original post was "I am a snobby queen who considers my studio condo that I paid 700k for to be entry level and the 5 million dollar house in the Bird Sts. where my 90 year old sugar daddy lives is the top so Mt. Olympus is *middle class*".

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you haven't read this blog, but Bel Air houses like the Fleur de Lys are tops. $125mm..

Stooopid ghetto child

Anonymous said...

And my sugar daddy lives in Malibu,

THANKS!!!

Anonymous said...

12:51 - Bringing a 125m property into the discussion does nothing to support your claim of Mt. Olympus being middle price. In fact, it does the opposite. Calculating the median price of a home in Los Angeles (again..YOU posted a broad comment of all Los Angeles, not me) is a little more complex than your GED education is able to handle. Leave it to the experts. Do a google search on median home prices in Los Angeles. Then do a search for median home prices for 90046, the zip code that includes Mt. Olympus. Then f*ck off troll.

Anonymous said...

They used to have a lot of security issues and fires up there.
Wonder if things have improved?

Anonymous said...

this house is already sold

Anonymous said...

7:30 - Say it ain't so! You mean some of the children don't know what they are talking about???

Anonymous said...

Under contract in less than 1 day

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.