Saturday, March 21, 2009

Marc Jacobs (Allgedly) Signs Contract for West Village Townhouse

BUYER: Marc Jacobs (allegedly)
LOCATION: Bethune Street, New York, NY
PRICE: around $13,000,000
SIZE: around 4,500 square feet
DESCRIPTION: ...Each one of a kind 4-6 bedroom townhouse-ranging from 3,800 to 4,800 square feet and 24' to 29' in width-has its own all-level elevator, wood burning fireplaces, designer garden and roof top terrace...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We apologize for our unexpected absence children. Your Mama recently winged to the glittery City by the Bay for the wild and wicked wedding of our ferociously lurid confrere Falsetta Knockers who finally managed to convince her louche literary lover to marry her naughty ass in a performance packed ceremony that Your Mama imagines will be a theatrical tour de force of singing, dancing and, since Miss Knockers can't help herself, unnecessary nudity

Our pal Patty Cake, who resides primarily on the other coast with her teeny-tiny canine, was kind enough to let Your Mama hole up in her recently rehabbed flat with it's dangerously slick wood floors and panoramic views over the great San Francisco Bay. Unfortunately, getting our trusty laptop to synch up with Miss Cake's internet service has proved a futile farce. Therefore, we've been forced to pilfer the wireless services of a nearby neighbor who made the mistake of not password encoding their signal. However, the signal is unreliable at best so we'll do what we can to work our poor fingers to the nubbins and pound out a few words before the signal goes dead.

Anyhoo...on to the real estate...

Late last week, while Your Mama was wrestling with Miss Cake's impotent internet service, all sorts of reports came out that the ballyhooed and tattooed fashion phenom Marc Jacobs and his Brazilian boy-beau Lorenzo Martone plunked down a wad of cash to secure a contract for a $13,000,000 townhouse in New York City's West Village. The first report seems to have come from the NY Post which stated that after looking at downtown properties for some time, they settled on an approximately 4,500 square foot townhouse on Bethune Street designed by Robert A.M. Stern.

Well children, let's be honest, there really aren't that many thirteen million dollar, Robert A.M. Stern designed townhouses on Bethune Street, so a little unscientific deduction and a few minutes tinkering around on the always helpful StreetEasy website, we've determined that if the reporting is accurate (and we don't know if it is or not), it's most logical that the sometimes cerulean haired Mister Jacobs and his man-friend Lorenzo are planning on purchasing one of the 7 newly built townhouses that are part of the yet to be completed Superior Ink condominium complex that anchors the corner of Bethune Street and the West Side Highway.

Some of the children who are wearing their thinking caps may recall that the Superior Ink building is the same residential development project where two time Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank reportedly signed a contract for a $3,500,000 two-bedroom apartment.

Mister Stern, the same swank architect responsible for the frighteningly expensive 15 Central Park West building, has done up the front facades of the row of seven townhouses to fit seamlessly with the historic architectural vernacular of the formerly bohemian now atrociously gentrified West Village while the interiors–which can be done up by either Mister Stern or the more arty-farty Yabu Pushelbergare meant to be four or five floors of pure new-fangled fabulosity. Each of the townhouses has private elevator serving all floors, a rear terrace, a roof terrace, all the most modern electronic conveniences and we've heard (but can not confirm) through the gossip grapevine that each of the townhouses is accessible via underground tunnel from the parking garage and apartment tower.

To top it all off, according the the development's website, the entire complex is registered with the U.S. Green Building Council and the developers are aiming at achieving LEED Silver Certification which will make it one of the more energy friendly and politically correct condo complexes in New York City.

The Superior Ink Condominiums and Townhouses are newly constructed structures located on the site of the former Superior Ink factory that was built in 1919. The high-priced complex's dee-luxe amenities include a private screening room, an entertainment lounge, a fitness center with a Pilates/yoga room, a children's playroom, 24-hour valet parking, and 24-hour concierge and doorman services in the tower.

According to the always on top of things people at The Real Deal, Mister Jacobs is currently leasing a 3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom apartment at the Jean Nouvel designed 40 Mercer Street in Soho, for which he's paying a reported thirty grand a month. Retail sales may be in the damn terlit, but apparently Mister Jacobs still has a mountain of money to throw around on real estate. Good for him. We should all be so lucky.

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

He mainly lives in Paris due to his job at Vuitton so I'm surprised he's buying such a large property in Manhattan. The main building looks like it's going to be stunning, not seen the townhouses yet but they all sold fairly quickly.

angeleyes said...

Very lovely townhouse. From your description of it's amenities Mama, what more could one ask for. Fabulosity indeed. The price is steep, but this IS primo NYC real estate. I wouldn't buy anything expensive in this market until it's free fall has stablized, but I don't have the luxury of being able to absorb a potential substantial money loss like Mr. Jacobs does. More power to him, and thanks Mama! We missed you. Welcome Back :)

StPaulSnowman said...

what it is + what it costs = cognitive dissonance

Anonymous said...

$13 million for 4500 square feet???
Need I say anymore.

Lucy said...

looks very nice

Anonymous said...

Seems like a pretty hefty price tag... but its NYC. Townhouses are insane.

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, Superior Ink-- I remember driving past the day they were raising its panels of faux-brick into place... anyway, the far West Village... how I remember moving to NY eons ago and deciding on an a-p-t in a lovely but distinctly-middle-class-Veda building in the two digits of 11th St...and wishing I'd found one like it in the West Village... I was missing the bohemian Village, I thought... not that there has actually been a shred of bohemia there since ladies wore wooden beads.... Well, I still keep that apartment for visits, and sometime in the past decade I realized that there is nothing to envy about the FWV... Jacobs and those endearing tramps of SITC took care of that... btw, these sorts of nouveax townhouses blend in with actual Village ones hardly at all...

Anonymous said...

Real estate prices have not bottomed. It'll be worth quite a bit less quite soon. BTW, doesn't anybody sit down to eat at a table any more? More counters with bar stools. So downmarket and tacky.

Anonymous said...

So much of the appeal of living in that windy and frigid and disconnected corner of Manhattan was the bohemian prices (read: it was cheap). No longer. If I'm spending $13 million on a home it sure as hell won't be in the FWV.

BTW those faux--err, row houses are straight out of Boston or DC or anywhere other than Manhattan. The tower is nice though.

Anonymous said...

you should consider eliminating the comment page.
People cant handle it and they are bringing down the quality of the website -- which is fantastic on its own.

Anonymous said...

It's funny that this area has become high priced. I remember a day when FWV was not any place anyone with $$$ would be caught dead.

Anonymous said...

These townhomes are very tacky. And for that price you can get a real townhome not these chimneys tacked onto a high-rise condo building settled in its shadow.

Puh-lease sister.

so_chic_darling said...

Nice but a little too close to the freeway though and one other little problem that Mr Jacobs and his haute neighbors should consider, flooding. This part of the West Village, not the best part but the new money doesn't know or care, is right at sea level. One storm surge on a high tide up the Hudson and all the Holly Hunt goes floating out the neo federal front door!

Anonymous said...

Please do NOT eliminate the comments page, Mama. While certain of my siblings can be mighty foul-mouthed and nasty pieces of work sometimes, I love the mix of dish and wit and even the occasional serious dirges such as those apparently by economics professors that go on and on about what caused the current depression etc. Note to Anon 3:49: If you find the Comments page distasteful, don't click on the link and you can enjoy Mama's marvelous musings without distraction....

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:13--- You've been reading too much of New York magazine-- yes, a hurricane might come right through the narrows, sending in a storm surge as high as the Empire State-- and there are fault lines under Manhattan, too, so NY and every last one of its unreinforced brownstones could be flattened by the next 5.0... one plus-size earthquake while you're sitting under an overpass waiting for a light to change in our own fair city, and splat, you be dead, girl. Life is unpredictable.

Anonymous said...

The USA needs a rebirth of radical populism. The creation perhaps of a new party, the "Peoples' Party". One of its objectives could well be a tax on excess real estate wealth. For instance: all residential properties valued at over one million would have to pay, every year, a wealth tax of 10% of the value over the one million. So a property valued at 13 million would pay a wealth tax of 1.2 million. Use it to fund programs for the poor. Think how lucrative that would be for California!

Anonymous said...

^ where's the barfing emoticon when i need it?


It amazes me that there are real live communists still running around these days. So sad.

Anonymous said...

For that amount of money, I think a kitchen in its own room, not a part of the living room is inorder.

An open kitchen like that reminds me of my 1 bedroom apartment. Not a 13mm lux living situation.

I am also curious about the garden area which looks shared with the neighbor. Is there an additional roof top garden?

Anonymous said...

If you're one bedroom kitchen looks anything like that you must be living in a pretty lavish one bedroom.

As for the kitchen, it is open to the FAMIY room not the formal entertaining room at the front of the house. There is a combination formal living / dining room and then a combination fam / kitchen.

Anonymous said...

I used to see Marc Jacobs every day at the David Barton gym on 23rd, and I was confused, as I thought he spent most of his time in paris and just stayed in the soho grand.

Parantar said...

the pics are cool!!! they're beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Dear 5:44: That is certainly a well-thought-out plan. So simple, too (I stress the word "simple"). Let's do it!

Belle said...

I like the green/moderne aspects of the buildings, but living practically on the West Side Highway is kind of ick, esp. for $13 million.

Anonymous said...

Freeway traffic noise, blustery winds, a long trek to the subway, and views of New Jersey. For $13,000,000.

What a deal!!!

david john said...

i love this site!

Every Building Has A Story said...

Looks great in the photos.

so_chic_darling said...

"A long walk to the subway" People who buy can spend 13 million on a townhouse NEVER take the subway. He has a driver.

StPaulSnowman said...

I am still reeling from the commenter who saw them installing sheets of faux brick to the facade of this building. Tackissimo!

Anonymous said...

@1:40: okay, so he has a driver, and his wife has a driver, and their kids have drivers, and their kids' friends have drivers, and their good friends from across town have drivers...I guess if everyone who will regularly visit the house has a driver, then being sited in the FWV is no big deal. Good point.

Anonymous said...

Hiswife has a driver... well, I guess Lorenzo wouldn't mind being known as Mrs. Jacobs
as long as his monthly allowance keeps rolling in....

so_chic_darling said...

4.52 you mean HUSBAND don't you?

Anonymous said...

someones still drunk..... J-A-C-O-B-S

Mars said...

Woooooooow.

Just wow. I mean that bathroom alone? Wow.

Wait, am I crying?

Anonymous said...

Is that Jenufleck in the second photo?

Anonymous said...

It's too boring looking.

The finishes kitchen & bathroom are sooo 15 CPW. Which, if you haven't seen in person, aren't really all that impressive.

I am sad that Mama has been so light on stories as of lately :'(

Anonymous said...

Oh... and those ugly light fixtures need to go.

This type of money (just like 15 CPW) and you have ugly Home Depot looking domed light fixtures? Puh-lease!

Anonymous said...

http://realestate.nytimes.com/sales/detail/56-943646/15-CENTRAL-PARK-WEST-New-York-NY-10023

Look at the kitchen and the 8 million light fixtures attached to the ceiling.

It just looks cheap.... in the most expensive building in Manhattan?

Anonymous said...

I have to say I am very surprised on both these townhomes and 15 CPW. The finishes and presentation doesn't wow me, as it should for the price.

Robert A.M. Stern maybe a "famed" Manhatten Architect but he could learn alot of Booth Hansen in Chicago.

Check out the Palmolive building in Chicago (very same buiding Vince Vaughn bought the duplex pent house - most expensive condo transaction in Chicago history).

The building is gorgeous, kitchens & baths make 15 CPW look like shit and the sculpted ceilings, stepped woodwork, halogen recessed lighting, etc etc all make the NYC counterparts look like CRAP.

http://www.boothhansen.com/_projects/residential/02.html

Anonymous said...

Virtual Tour of a listed Palmolive Unit

http://tours5.vht.com/Viewer/PhotoGallery.aspx?ListingID=1187688&Style=CBI

Anonymous said...

IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER POST MAMA! I NEED MY FIX!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Looks nice.

I think the top and bottom pictures might be computer renderings? Maybe all of them? They look just to perfect and clean for NYC.

13 million will get you some nice renderings from the Mister Stern.

Anonymous said...

They are all computer renderings. The homes are not finished yet.

Anonymous said...

those celebs love them some robert stern! didn't Ms. Candy Spelling buy in the Century from the same developer at a sky high price?

Anonymous said...

This site is really going downhill fast.

The commenters have become ridiculously rude and insulting. And clearly, Mama's main-stream commercial success has put this blog at the bottom of her priorities.

Anonymous said...

One's greatest cross to bear is ungrateful children...no matter what you do for them they whine and complain. The complaints about rude and insulting comments are becoming a bit tedious in themselves.... So, dear Anon 1:23--stop complaining and write something intelligent and witty yourself... and do NOT dis my Mama.

Anonymous said...

1:23 - What mainstream success?

Anonymous said...

Mama, has been a commentator and a source on various real estate & news related things.

Anonymous said...

where can we see Mama talking?

Anonymous said...

hopefully no where, every again

Anonymous said...

Learn English Anon 2:48

Trudy Styler said...

This will be the one time I address the angry, bitter and nasty person at 2:48pm (which I assume is the same foul mouthed monster who's been hanging around lately).

If you really loathe Mama so intensely, why spend so much time here? It must be absolute torture for you to feel uncontrollably compelled to tap out nasty comments on a blog about celebrity real estate.

Anonymous said...

I believe you meant Trudy.

God, you are a smart one.

Go troll around in traffic or off a cliff already.

red.door.read said...

why the fark don't i live there? 'tis beautiful.

Anonymous said...

faux brick? hottt!

whata fuckin dump

finishes and design in his buildings suck

15 cpw is a pile... and like many high price lux buildings is gonna be a nightmare when they all try to resale their cookie-cutter luxury condos

Starck Mad said...

Again, may I say, the most acerbic, myopic, and off-the-mark comments are by the 'Anonymous' camp.

I think this casa looks modern and fresh.

If Halston were alive today, he would approve.
Enough said.

Anonymous said...

Starck - while I agree the place looks modern and fresh, I disagree with your assessment of the "Anonymous" posters. The worst posts have always come from a small group of *named* posters (as opposed to Blogger account posters or anons).

The name changes (joe, ed, bob..) but the person is the same. Continually seeking attention so he posts a name. Or a variation of the name with stupid "faces".

Now he's attacking himself. Sad. Really. It is no wonder that he admits to hiding his obsession with Mama's blog & children from the people who encounter him in the real world.

Starck Mad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Starck Mad said...

Sorry "Anonymous".....but I don't see why one would 'hide' behind the Anonymous moniker? I'm sure Mama would agree.
Back on topic.....I bet the bulk of Mama's readers would agree, that this MJ casa is on the beam, and hyper tasteful!

Anonymous said...

Apparently you've never been targeted by joe/ed/bob. Once you have been like I and many others, you'll understand.

StPaulSnowman said...

After looking at some of these warehouses, it is comforting to know that the well made and beautifully situated Astor's Beechwood is on the market for a mere twelve million. It needs some work to restore original finishes and colors but would be a great home if any of the chilunz got the dough.

Anonymous said...

The place is nothing special, It's clean cut, fresh, crsip, modern *to an extent* whatever you want to call it, but is nothing over the top which for the price it should be much better.

Starck Mad said...

Point taken, thanx!

Anonymous said...

it has a lot of space but I don't like the floors.

Anonymous said...

Very suburban! You can take MJ out of New Jersey, but you can't take New Jersey out of MJ.