Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Denny Hamlin Green Flags the Listing of His House

SELLER: Denny Hamlin
LOCATION: Peninsula Point Drive, Cornelius, NC
PRICE: $4,900,000
SIZE: 9,969 square feet (as per assessor), 5 bedrooms, 6 full and 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Late last week Your Mama received a lovely little communique from someone we'll call Loquacious Louis who informed us that Nascar driver Denny Hamlin was selling his big house on the shores of Lake Norman in tiny Cornelius, North Carolina.

As the children might imagine, we shrieked, "Denny whooo? Cor-neelee where?"

At the risk of sounding like a cultural snob (which we probably are), Your Mama freely and without a soupçon of shame admits that we know as much about Nascar and the Daytona 500 as we suspect most Nascar fans know about German social realist painter Neo Rauch. However, thanks to the pleasantly patient and Nascar knowledgeable Loquacious Louis and a few independent Blackle searches on the interweb, Your Mama now understands that 27 year old Denny Hamlin is a Nascar fee-nom who careens around the race track in a supped up Toyota emblazoned with the FedEx logo and the number eleven. Further research also revealed that young Mister Hamlin earns boo-coo bucks driving his super-charged Ty-ota around in circles during high octane racing events with interesting names like the Budweiser Shootout, the Food City 500 and the Ford 400.

It's all Greek to Your Mama, natch, but what we do understand is that Nascar wunderkin and one-time Paris Hilton prey Denny Hamlin recently put his 9,669 square foot (as per assessor) lake side mansion in The Peninsula on the market with an asking price of $4,900,000. For the children too lazy to map the location of Cornelius, the itty bitty hamlet sits on the shores of scenic Lake Norman about 20 miles due north of really religious Charlotte, North Carolina, a city often referred to as "The City of Churches" and well known as the birth place of presidential pastor Billy Graham. Of course, that ain't all Charlotte is known for, but that's what jumps out for Your Mama.

Anyhoo, property records show that fiercely fast (and reportedly single) Mister Hamlin purchased his family sized mansion just two years ago, in September of 2006, for $3,400,000. According to Loquacious Louis, Mister Hamlin claims to have dumped another million into renovatin' and decoratin' his love shack, a process that appears to have included putting up a plasma teevee on just about every flat wall in the damn house including the too sparsely furnished "great room" (a term loathed by Your Mama but used by the young and blond female listing agent) as well as turning the more informal entertainment areas into spaces that mights easily be mistaken for one of the campy high roller suites at the Palms in Las Vegas.

Listing information indicates that Mister Hamlin's bachelor pad includes 5 bedrooms and 6 full and 2 half bathrooms which means, of course, that Mister Hamlin can use a different terlit each day of the week and still have one to spare. It also means he spends considerable coin on a gurl whose only responsibility is scrubbing the terlits after Mister Hamlin's race car driver buddies come over for barbecue and baked beans.

Your Mama isn't the least bit soo-prised to see that Mister Hamlin had the media room done over and did up with black leather recliners or that he installed a disco-like home gym. And really, appalled as we may be with the glossy black tile floor, we not even remotely startled by the blood red billiard room...the man is a 27 years old race car driver and not a nice gay decorator after all. However, we do confess that we would never have imagined this Nascar whippersnapper to have a foul and faux Versace four poster bed, a bathroom built almost entirely of 1980s style glass blocks or a dining room with a crazy crystal chandelier and ghastly gold upholstered chairs that look like they belong in the meticulously maintained home of a blue blooded blue hair who hasn't called her nice gay decorator in 20 years or more. Sorry Charlies, but there just isn't anything about this room that says 27 year old racing stud. Additional rooms and interior amenities include the sparsely furnished and above mentioned "great room," a strangely feminine kitchen (if there's such a thing), a large family room, a wine cellar, at least 5 fireplaces and 4,300+ square feet of finished basement space that includes several exuberantly designed entertainment spaces and built in bars.

Outdoor amenities at the gated estate include a large veranda with grandiose curving stairways leading down to the free form swimming pool that over looks Lake Norman beyond, a hot tub, outdoor fireplace, lawns that slope down to a private and sandy beach on the lake shore, a half court basketball court and a boat house and long dock with a boat lift.

It will come as no surprise to the children, that there is really very little about this house that Your Mama will cop to liking. This just isn't our real estate cup of tea. But since we always try to say something nice we'll allow that the glass tear drop chandelier over the pool table is quite striking and the view from the back of the house towards the lake is stunning. Although we'd probably commit suicide from the high heating and cooling bills of this house and we'd likely wind up with a cramp from walking from one end of the house to the other, we can understand why rich people in Charlotte are drawn to the shores of Lake Norman...it's really very beautiful, ain't it?

We understand from Loquacious Louis (and confirmed with property records) that The Peninsula community in Cornelius, where Mister Hamlin's house is located, is filled to the gills with Nascar types such as Rusty Wallace, Ricky Rudd, Robby Gordon, and Menards home supply heir and driver Paul Menard. Of course, Your Mama has never heard of these men, but we understand they are all big names on the racing circuit.

The well to do folks who dwell in the 725+ acre upscale community of The Peninsula can choose to join one of the two private clubs where memberships gives them access to the 18-hole Rees Jones designed golf course, swim and tennis centers, boat slips for parking their big boats, and the smug satisfaction of hobnobbing with some of Nascar's elite drivers at the clubhouse and yacht club. According to Loquacious Louis (but not independently confirmed) residents must also cough up an estimated (and relatively reasonable) $1,100 per year for maintenance of common areas in The Peninsula community.

Your Mama can't fathom why Mister Hamlin would choose to sell his house just two years after buying and decorating the shit out of the place, but perhaps–and we speculate here children, speck-u-late–he's realized 14,000 square feet of interior space is simply too big for one 27 year old man or maybe that a young and single racing super star might be better off living in a community where he can meet and greet with a few 20-something year old big breasted babes rather than sit around Saturday nights with Muffy and Stuffy at the Yacht Club. But then again, maybe he just wants to make a million smackers turning over the property.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

Former NFL coach and NASCAR team owner Joe Gibbs lives right next door.

Anonymous said...

Why must there always be the requiste plasma tv mounted over each and every damn fireplace? Sends me running to the chiropractor every time I watch a movie at a friend's house!

Anonymous said...

Former NFL coach, NASCAR team owner, and right wing christian Joe Gibbs you mean.

I'm sure this neighborhood is full of them. Do right wing Christians have nice gay decorators?

so_chic_darling said...

Well I like the beach.

Anonymous said...

Yes, leave the house and take the beach.

I would not know Denny Hamlin if I bumped into him with my cart at the Cornelius Food Lion, but thanks, Mama, for keep me updated on the local real estate gossip.

--K.S. from N.C.

Alessandra said...

I also like the beach front of Lake Norman.

The rest of it makes me want to vomit, faux real.

Anonymous said...

Come on now, KS, you know he wouldn't be caught dead at the Food Lion & would only shop at the Harris Teeter right there on Jetton Road...!! (and for all you non-Charlotteans, that would be Jeh-TAHN road, not jetuhn. Schmancy cuz it's The Peninsula, you know.)

Great view, ugly house. Ditto the plasma tv's (4 of them) and that couch in the formal living room does not really look like one I'd be cozying up on to watch a movie anyway, what is the point of a TV in there?

Anonymous said...

Charlotte has long been labeled as one of the Best Cities in the US to live and the Lake Norman area would definately be a big draw for anyone looking to go there.

This lot is amazing, at the end of a point & very private. I think the house is beautiful on the outside. The interior has good bones and general layout just the over the top decor is real bad. Could easily be turned into a beautiful house. I also am surprised with the somewhat FEM looking kitchen.

Anonymous said...

thre is a hell of a lot more than 4 plasma tv's in this house anon 3:47

http://search.hmproperties.com/tour.html?f=res_189706

Loquacious Louis said...

HAHA, thanks for the write up Mama, I know I would be wildly entertained with your take on Denny's "Bachelor Palace".

plot said...

Charlotte is a hellhole. Ugly development, ugly people, nasty air (that smells like sewage wafting in from Ballantine all summer long), ONE park in the whole city, no culture (iffen you don't luv jesus), terrible traffic problems only compounded by cutting down more trees to build more roads that don't logically fit into any traffic pattern.

Oh and there is the Greenway Project, deemed one of the worst in the country - an ugly gash that runs through the city, supposedly to make it greener, but the nepotistic hiring of an ex-city planner to do the construction (for millions) left Charlotte with eroding gashes of red clay instead of natural creeks.

If you want to live in a city with barely breathable air, Persian palaces, fundies who demand you listen to them testify for jesus (even at dinner parties), and the ugliest suburban sprawl this side of Mexico, Charlotte is your city.

Anonymous said...

Funny if it such a Dreadful City, that you know so much about it. And, that Relocate America lists it as the #1 in considering the BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN THE US. MSNBC also ranked it in the Top 10. It also makes the top list for Forbes & Furtnure.

Anonymous said...

Fortune*

Anonymous said...

Those slippery floors would send any high-heeled bimbo flying on her ass.

'I'd love to see the view out the winda - AHHHHH!!!'

He'd have to keep pairs of Crocs in the entryway just to keep the insurance bills down. They'd have sponsor logos.

Anonymous said...

Denny is a bit of whiney punk. The money and the fame came too quick and too easily. Now he is a show off, this is probably one of the biggest & most expensive NASCAR homes... and he is no where near the biggest, best paid driver.

lil' gay boy said...

Oh. My. Lord.

Jeezus H. Kee-rist on a cracker, what a hellaciously ugly "manse". Even a portrait of Bushie would be better than a plasma over every goddamn fireplace.

And it looks like the dried husks of Jethro & Ellie Mae must be stuffed in the attic, too.

There; now that I've taken the Lord's name in vain thrice, I'm puttin' y'all on notice that I do not belong to the NRA (for when that unfortunate "hunting accident" permanently disfigures me).

I guess it's a good thing you can't smell the view……

Chris said...

Charlotte sounds like the kind of place where Ms. Palin would fit in nicely. As for the house two words suffice: vulgar and hideous.

Anonymous said...

Well...the range is nice. That's about it.

Anonymous said...

Well, choosing to move from California to Lake Norman because we love it, I hate to hear such nasty commnents about my home. I guess they are a result of ignorance and ugly stereotypes. Get a life folks!

Charlottean said...

It's Denny Hamlin's home... not yours Anon 6:41... perhaps it tis you who needs to get a life.

Pilot, who went off on a hate speech about Charlotte is an idiot. As many others have said, which everyone seems to ignore, Charlotte has long been ranked as one of the best major cities in the US. And Lake Norman, is considered one of the MOST desirable lake communities in the entire country as well. North Carolina is actually quite beautiful, pure ignorance spewn from an idiot who everyone seems to believe, ra-dic-uuuu-lus!

As for the house, ya'll are being a bit overly biotchy. On the outside, it's a nice, suburban home... pretty landscaping and it really is striking from the lakeside with the covered patio and two sweeping curved staircases.

Inside, the home seems to have decent proportions, large rooms, high ceilings, lots of light... all around a pretty good house. The furnishings are a bit odd, especially for a 27 yr old man such as Hamlin, I think with a few coats of paint, new light fixtures throughout and different furnishings this house would be beautiful.

Anonymous said...

http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/37116/

Chris said...

Maybe someone can explain to me the American fixation on entrances to "mansion-like" houses that feature two or three story narrow archways. Quintessence of vulgarity to me; seem like a parody of the side entrance to a mediaeval cathedral. Is that the effect desired? What happened to the classic Georgian facade of most stately British homes? Althorp, for example?

Anonymous said...

Chris, Enjoy your studio apartment.

Sandpiper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bentley said...

Wow. Where's my fucking percocet...

plot said...

I don't care what Forbes or Fortune has to say - they don't visit. They don't breath the fetid air. They don't see lovely forests cut down for moldy, plastic, barbie dreams homes for those who imagine themselves rich (and the favorites of jesus accordingly.)

yeah, North Carolina USED to be beautiful. Now it's just a development hell, full of god-awful McMansions just like Mr. Devlin's or much, much worse.

And Lake Norman? You mean when there isn't a drought year (only 2 in the last 12) and the water isn't clay red, full of mercury, and chemically slimey? THAT Lake Norman?

yes, Chris, Ms. Palin is a perfect fit for Charlotte. No doubt she will be swinging through to collect some $$$ for her End Times/Creationist agenda and preaching the EEE-vils of EEEvolution! The whole of Charlotte will wet themselves in ecstasy. She might replace Benny Hinn as the most popular guest to ever visit Charlotte.

Anonymous said...

Plot -

You're an idiot and should drop dead. You live in a vinyl sided shack and call these homes ugly.

You're an idiot and ignorant

plot said...

Ha!

Is that the best you can offer?

If I'm so ignorant, prove me wrong.

Or should we go into the power plants that waft debris into Charlotte's fine air because those plants are operating at 1960s emission levels (thank-you Christy Repubs!) Or how Duke Power is allowed to use their cheapest power cables and lowest standards in Charlotte - which is why the slightest ice storm knocks out power for thousands every year (while Winston-Salem and Greensboro, who demanded better cabling, seem to withstand the bad weather.)

Shall we go into the Arena debacle as well?

Cindy from Mooresville said...

You are such a rotten and painfully nasty, it really must be tough to live your life, plot.

I've been watching your banter with the various anon's and its ridiculous. Clearly every area has issues and problems... and while you may know Charlotte's there is alot of good things about the city as well.

You are clearly and very bitter, unhappy person who needs to grow up and act like an adult. There is nothing productive about your rants about how terrible Charlotte is, this isn't a Charlotte blog... it's a celebrity real estate blog, so unlush your complaint is specific to Denny Hamlin's house, how about you go spew your rotten banter else where.

plot said...

Cindy, thanks for the concern but my life is wonderful.

I know Charlotte all too well, which is pretty obvious. No, I wasn't a bitter bystander; I worked hard there on the urban environment. At some point you have to throw your hands up and say "screw it", life is too short. And frankly, Charlottans just don't care.

So you want some specific to this blog? Fine, how about all those beautiful old Myers Park homes, surrounded by 100 year old oaks, getting torn down to make robo-condos or Barbie's Persian Palace (put up with chip board in 3 weeks?)

If Mama considers me off topic or obnoxious, she will delete my posts - which is perfectly fine, since I adore this blog no matter what and Mama rules!

Anonymous said...

you are a rotten condesending ass

Anonymous said...

First, I've never posted here, but LOVE this blog. Thanks Your Mama!

I read and giggle at the ridiculous prices the West coast seems to have-not to mention the tiny properties. Guess I'm just a Southern girl used to lower prices and more land.

Anyway, gorgeous home with horrid interior design unless you are a great grandma with a 19 year grandson living with you.

The Peninsula is actually pretty if taken in small bits. Too bad I remember what it looked like before they built those homes. BUT look at most of these residences on this blog and you'll notice tiny lots and tons of homes with lots of urban sprawl where there used to be open land with gorgeous views. That happens when you build out rather than up! It's not just Charlotte!

Charlotte/Cornelius/Lake Norman are nice towns, but the traffic is awful. I lived there and never ran into Bible spouting fanatics. Not every Southerner is a stupid redneck who is uneducated and drives a truck (or a racecar for that matter) quoting the Bible! Come on! This blog is about real estate!

Thanks Your Mama for letting us see these homes.

miaunow said...

Yea it is pretty fugly! Sorry Denny. Come on....glass block? How early 90s of you!! FUGLY!!

Oh yea Mama just stumbled across this page. How cool!! :)

Anonymous said...

I did know that Denny could afford such a beautiful home, considering he isn't one of the highest paid.

Anonymous said...

He makes $10mm a year, of course he can afford it.

Anonymous said...

Why do you all even have to comment on how ugly or nice Denny's home is anyway? He came from a simple middle class family, looking for a dream and acieved it. It would be nice if everyone could be so lucky! I bet everyone of you if you where in his shoes would buy a big house and decorate it to your liking. Don't hate on something that is personal choice for someone, I doubt that anyone of you could afford a house half the price of Denny's.

Anonymous said...

Seems like everyone is jealous. He makes money racing.....why not have a nice home. Just because it is not your style doesnt mean you have to put it down. He can live in NASCARolina if he want to!!

Anonymous said...

It is now July -- is the house still available or did it sell?

Anonymous said...

Over payed in '06 now wants 4.9??? He's gay! Everyone knows it...