Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Brandon Davis' Daddy's Crib in the Birds

SELLER: Nebil Zarif
LOCATION: Nightingale Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: Upon Request
SIZE: 6,000 square feet (main house), 2,000 square feet (guest house) 7 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms (total)
DESCRIPTION: This is the most beautiful "bird street" estate on the market. While this house sits on a bluff a top the Doheny Estates, it is full of character, style and grace. The estate boasts the greatest sweeping city and ocean views in the country. It is the dream home of any entertainer, as it flaunts everything sexy about this city. It was completely redone and finished with incredibly elaborate finishes, with sound and technology complete throughout. There are 5 bedrooms and 6 and one-half bathrooms in the 6,000 plus square foot main house, and 2,000 square feet in the permitted guest apartment which is elegantly appointed with 2 bedrooms, one full bathroom, and full kitchen.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday Your Mama discussed "Lionsgate," the palatial and long time home of Brandon Davis' mommy Nancy. Today we have this lovely bird street house which is the home of Brandon Davis' daddy, wine importer and grape grower Nebil Zarif, who goes by the name "Bilo." Honestly, Your Mama doesn't know squat about Mister Bilo, but we too often read about his unfortunate and unbelievably ill-mannered offspring.

According to many reports, including on the very funny Socialite Life blog, not so long ago Brandon Davis attended Paris Hilton's birthday party in Los Angeles. At some point during the party, sweaty scion Brandon Davis picked the newly thin and taut Courtney Love up off the ground and told her, in front of her daughter Frances Bean mind you, that he wanted to "squirt" on her. That's right. Gasps and mortification all around.

But that's not even the worst of it. Before he subjected Miz Love to his embarrassing and adolescent mating calls, he spent a few minutes taunting "singer/dancer" and American Idol judge Miz Paula Abdul. According to multiple reports, the jobless moron tossed flowers at her, tried to cajole her into a sex act that isn't even legal in some states, and mocked her heritage by speaking in gibberish with a Middle Eastern accent.

Now babies, we too think Miz Paula Abdul is a bit of a case, and we're not entirely sure why Paris would make the unusual choice to have Miz Paula Abdul sing at her birthday party. AND we know you can't believe everything you read in the tabs and blogs, but Your Mama is so believing this story. And this is why...it gets EVEN WORSE.

That's right children, as you may have gathered from the young and restless heirs father's name, bloated Brandon Davis is himself Turkish-American. More gasps all around. This hypocritical, self-loathing fool is making fun of Miz Paula Abdul's ancestry when he himself is Middle Eastern by descent? Are you fucking kidding me?

How did this oaf get the surname Davis you might ask? Apparently Big Daddy Marvin Davis was not happy about his beloved daughter Nancy hooking up, marrying, and procreating with Mister Zarif. So, reports say, the tall and wide billionaire gave Mister Zarif money to back off, and baby Brandon was given the maternal family name so as to disguise and smoke screen the truth about his lineage. Rich people can be so clever and delusional.

And why is it that we pay any attention to this boob? Why is it we care enough to spend all morning writing about this dumdum? Trust us when we tell you our therapist will be getting an earful of that shit today.

As usual, we digress. What we're really here to discuss of course is the real estate. It's unclear to Your Mama if this house is currently for sale or if it has been taken off the market, and property records that we accessed do not indicate a recent sale. What we do know is that the house was recently on the market for an undisclosed asking price and was being marketed through a relative of the Davis/Zarif clan.

Located just up the street from the sleek and sexy house Byron Allen has been trying to flip, the property occupies two parcels with spectacular views of Los Angeles. The long, low house has been done up in a pleasing sort of Casbah meets Mediterranean meets Los Angeles style. We've got a tile roof and velvet covered furniture. We've got dark wood floors, stainless steel kitchen appliances and a Turkish looking credenza in the dining room. We've got flowing white curtains around the bed, an outdoor fireplace with an Arabic arch, and a swimming pool set up that is quintessentially L.A. with staggering views and a modified kidney shape.

Whatever we might think of Brandon Davis and his messy, entitled ways, we L.O.V.E. his daddy's house in the birds. We'd make a few changes in the furniture, pull down that pot rack, replace the dining room chandelier, and toss a few more succulents around the pool deck, but otherwise, we think this house would be loved and adored by just about anyone who finds L.A. living attractive.

Your Mama recommends to whomever buys this house that they change all the locks and upgrade the security so that they're safe and secure when and if young Brandon Zarif comes a-knocking after a long night boozing it up at whichever club was desperate enough to let him past the velvet rope.

Sources: NY Daily News, Socialite Life, US Weekly, The Blemish, Hollywood Backwash, HGTV

9 comments:

bigdaddyj said...

LOL, I vote that you only refer to him as Brandon Zarif going forward...I always wondered how he wound up with his Mama's last name, I just figured he was a bastard in birth as well as in life...

Anonymous said...

Brandon Davis: crass trumps class. Love isn't the only thing money can't buy.

Anonymous said...

I could maybe live here...MAYBE...if I could get past wondering where Brandon might have "squirted" when daddy wasn't home.

Anonymous said...

I recently saw a clip with this ceratin Brandon Davis, in company with Paris Hilton and Tara Reid etc...walking somewhere running his mounth to the camera what he thought about Lindsay Lohan...and I was stoked!!! =S I mean, O-M-G, what a LOOOOOOSER! They´re ALL a bunch of loosers. All they have is their money-and confidence...confidence in the shape of a plastic bag containg a little white powder!!! HUH! "Fire crotch", "Freckles comming out of her...", "Smells like diarreah"..."She´s worth about...which is disgustingly poor"?! Blah bla blah...I find no words. He´s not even goodlooking!!! He looks like a fat worn-out cokemonster!!! Like Hilton-she looks like a coked up seagull! =D I don´t care if they have money and beautiful real estates...in the end, it´s not gonna be such fun anymore anyways...

Anonymous said...

His dad is really into younger girls and has a girlfriend in every city. i hear he owns a winery in santa barbara and treats people like crap. http://www.summerlandwine.com/index1.html

Anonymous said...

I went to dinner with Brandons father once at Dolce thru a friend, he was quite gracious, polite and over all a sweet man...a little bit of a Ladies Man and aware of his self importance but not to the point of annoying. He insists on paying for everything and lie to buy people gifts so cheap he isn't. I like him..his son on the other hand, that's just scary.

Anonymous said...

"likes"

Anonymous said...

Bilo zarif is definitely into younger girls. like he would date high school girls if he could get away with it. Even though he dates younger girls he has still been caught with escorts and "massage therapists". He is a very unkind man and uses women up and throws them away like trash when he is done. he has cheated on all of his girlfriends.

Anonymous said...

I live in Summerland and I am surprised to read this because I've met His Father Bilo Zarif and he is a very gracious modest and generous person. And don't we all have our past issues/secrets? WHO CARES? Get a LIFE! And really if you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all.