Monday, May 21, 2007

40 Acres (And A Mule?) for Jamie Foxx

BUYER: Jamie Foxx
PRICE: $10,500,000
LOCATION: Potrero Road, Hidden Valley, CA
SIZE: 40.22 acres, 17,000 square feet (approx), 10 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Fabulous estate of 40 private acres in prestigious Hidden Valley. Claddaugh Farms features a Mediterranean estate home with quarry-matched limestone throughout. Retreat style living in this 17,000 square foot villa with 10 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, library, formal living room and dining room, family and game rooms, full gym and an unbelievable gourmet kitchen with a gorgeous breakfast room. Grand master suite with sitting room, two fireplaces, atrium, dual private baths, sauna and balcony. Olympic-size pool, spa, cabana studio, north/south tennis courts, playing fields and two unbelievable guest houses.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're gonna piggy back on Miz Ruth Ryon's most recent Hot Properties column in the LA Times, and discuss the little country place out in bucolic sounding Hidden Valley that Jamie Foxx recently purchased for a reported $10,500,000. A nice little place out of the city and away from the pressures of Hollywood can be a good thing for high paid in demand actors like Oscar winning Foxx, who has been catapulted to super stardom in the last several years with hit films like Ray and Dreamgirls, and Miami Vice, which reportedly earned Foxx $10,000,000, and undoubtedly heaps of puntang, for his role as Ricardo Tubbs.

Now babies, Your Mama does not profess to know what makes a hit movie and what does not, but we would have bet the precious lives of our little bitches Linda and Beverly that a remake of the television show Miami Vice would be a resounding failure. Even though it starred Foxx and Irish dirty boy Colin Farrell, two very bankable stars, the movie failed to recoup the production costs. Pity.

No matter to piano playing lady killer Foxx though. According to Miz Ryon, he still made enough scratch to buy a 17,000 square foot pimp crib with 10 bedrooms and 12 damn terlits. The monster mansion sprawls over 40 acres in rural Thousand Oaks and includes an Olympic length swimming pool, tennis courts, playing fields, not to mention a lot of dirt trails, probably for driving around on one of those death trap three-wheel a.t.v. things.

Children this house is so big it would take Your Mama half the day to walk from one end to the other. By the time we got the industrial kitchen for our morning coffee, it would be time to run around and head back to the master bedroom with it's atrium (what?), sitting room, 2 fireplaces and dual bathrooms.

Let's talk about the 12 terlits for a moment. Seriously, that is a lot of terlits for one man to have. Sure, he's got a kid and prolly a large posse of peeps and hos for whom he needs to provide space to evacuate, but still...Foxx is going to need more than one girl living up in that house whose only jobs are to scrub terlits and sinks full time. So we sincerely hope Mister Foxx continues to earn the big bucks to pay the cleaning staff, otherwise he's going to be too busy working a terlit brush to make any more hit movies.

It is only our opinion, but we happen to think the front of this house is ugly. We rarely feel positive when driving up to a house that looks like a small hotel or country club in suburban Detroit. We do, however, recognize that many folks find 20-something foot tall porte cocheres are indeed an excellent choice for displaying one's success and wealth and impressing guests even before they get to the front door where they are greeted by a butler in an entrance hall the size of a hotel lobby.

We sorta like that room with the chocolate brown walls. Sorta. Love the color, love the drawings above the gloriously decadent fireplace. But the white chairs and the rug...not so much.

Your Mama likes to imagine this place will end up being like the Playboy Mansion with an endless stream of big titted and scantily clad hunnies strutting around in high heels with their skin all slicked up with baby oil. Somewhere over near the guest houses would be ground zero where Mister Foxx would recline in the shade wrapped in a silk smoking jacket sipping a nice cool cocktail while choosing his pick of the litter. Because, you know, this man likes to have sex 30 minutes a day, every day, for exercise. So his posse might consider busing the big booty bitches out from Los Angeles on a weekly basis. Certainly there is enough room to house them while on the grounds trying to woo and impress Mister Foxx with their silicone implants and tricky hip gyrations.

As was noted Mr. Big Time over at Big Time Listings, Mister Foxx continues to own the 5,426 square foot house in Tarzana he has called home since 1997 when he paid $930,000 for the 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom single story mini-estate with swimming pool and half court basketball set up. We're totally guessing here, but Your Mama imagines Foxx will keep this house in Tarzana. Or perhaps sell it and buy another house "in town." Hidden Valley is a long way from the Hollywood hot spots where Mister Foxx likes to hang out and entertain the ladies.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mama...we would love to see your lovely home featured on this very blog!!! Do you have any pics of Linda and Beverly?

Anonymous said...

Another ostentatious mausoleum masquerading as a house.

Anonymous said...

That place lingered on the market for a loong time, finally.. someone bought it. Maybe he doesn't realize this but it was used as a filming location for the NY Lottery... ewww

Anonymous said...

The house is very "I just hit the lottery!!"

Anonymous said...

This house is nap. I have hated it for years. It has been the filming location of several things, including the dreadful TV show "The Bachelor" and was also on HBO's "Entourage." This house is just about as classy as the trailer park in Malibu.

Laidback Chick said...

The house is ostentatious to say the least. But tell me why he "prolly has a lot of peeps and hos" up in the piece. While I find your banter witty and somewhat timely on some of these personalities and their interiors, why you gotta get all Imus on us?

Anonymous said...

The kitchen is nice in this house, but everything else is way too traditional-ostentatious. I guess Foxx really wants to get away from it all, though.

Anonymous said...

You tell him, girl, gettin' all Imus on our ass, hell, all we want to do is live in a big-ass crib that's close to a sebun elebum ... and we fine, you know?

Sincerely
- Redd Foxx, LaWanda Page & Jamie Foxx

Anonymous said...

You tell him, girl, gettin' all Imus on our ass, hell, all we want to do is live in a big-ass crib that's close to a sebun elebum ... and we fine, you know?

Sincerely
- Redd Foxx, LaWanda Page & Jamie Foxx

Anonymous said...

This home was originally owned/built
by an Herbalife spin-off couple, Laryy and Lauren Nicole 'something'.
The reason it is so tacky is because they hired
Ginger Atherton to 'design' the interiors...

Anonymous said...

you know if you all had the money to buy this house you would. I just burns up my back side when broke ass fools put down the ones that got their own. It's not like it was just givin to him. he chose entertainment as his line of work just like a dr chooses his or a teacher chooses theirs. it's just his job pays alot more than most jobs. So all that means is that he can buy bigger,nicer and more grand then someone who choose a job that doesn't pay that much. You put down a a person who made mngr of mcd's and bought a hud house. no, you'd say go head on work it. i bet you'd be proud. They were able to buy the house they could afford. so don't hate on a person cause they can afford more. Jamie Foxx didn't grow up with a silver spoon in his mouth. He had to work hard for every thing he has. you people who are douning him are just hateing cause you wish you had it.

carew said...

yeh, mofo, word. Dem Muthas ain't got shit so dey gots to be dissin da richies like Jamie Foxx up in here. Dem pimps ain't fly homey!

Anonymous said...

We should be happy that Jaime Foxx was able to get his 40 acres! It shows it can be done. Congrats to Jaime for making the jump from one of us to one of them. Them being the most successful among us. Lesson for us to learn. Foxx was in In Living Color when he was 19 and he did not win an Academy Award until he was 38! It took him 20 years to reach the mountaintop (literally and figuratuvely) And he has crazy talent. So just keep on your grind and have faith in yourself. God Bless

Moe Ronn said...

^Who are "us"?