Saturday, April 21, 2007

UPDATE: Tom Crooz Sniffing Around Bel Air?

Yesterday afternoon Your Mama heard from Gina Lollobrigida, an often reliable source for all things Hollywood. In the past Gina has been a vast well of information and gossip about Tommy Crooz and has many times regaled us with twisted and funny tales about shoe lifts, reluctant golf partners, and suspicious doings with ex-wives.

Miz Lollobrigida was getting in touch with Your Mama to let us know what she's recently heard regarding TomKat's house hunt. We confess. While Your Mama finds Mister Crooz to be puzzling and not so pleasantly enigmatic, we also find him and his crazy ways endlessly fascinating.

Now children, this is all rumor, conjecture, and speculation, so don't be going and telling everybody you read the gospel truth here. We're passing along third hand information from a consistently reliable source. Our pal Fiona Trambeau thinks third hand information isn't worth shit, but she's drunk and screwing strangers most of the time so we're going to go ahead and tell the children what we heard.

The first thing Gina tells us is that she hears the Crooz couple has been sniffing around a ridiculously opulent $30,000,000 listing on super swanky St. Pierre Road in Bel Air (pics above). Now this is interesting because earlier this week we heard TomKat had purchased a $30,000,000 house. Hmm. This house is almost incomprehensibly lavish (check the bowling alley and the indoor pool), and it would not be anyplace Your Mama would think the Crooz's would consider. But then again, nothing the man does surprises us anymore.

The next thing Gina tells us is that some of Crooz's peeps recently had a look-see at a very impressive 12.4 acre vacant lot on Stone Canyon that sits directly across from the Hotel Bel-Air. The land was assembled over a period of 8 or 9 years by Liz Hurly baby daddy and billionaire Steve Bing. The rumor mill goes that Bing bought up all the houses, some of which had previously been owned by folks like Kim Novak and Barry Manilow, and bull dozed them with the intention of building his own private paradise.

But we all know these billionaire baby daddies can be so capricious and fickle (remember how Flavio Briatore dumped the preggers Heidi Klum?), so Bing reportedly sold off the parcels for $48,000,000 to an entity called ECG Acquisitions. It's unclear who this ECG Acquisitions actually is and it's possible Mister Bing is in fact involved in that group although we have no proof or indication of that. However, what is not up for debate is that ECG has been tirelessly trying to flip the land at a huge profit. In the Fall of 2006 they put the property up for sale with no price attached in a private auction sort of thing. Reports say they are looking to fetch around $75,000,000.

The vacant estate, dubbed The Park at Stone Canyon, is fully landscaped with acres of lawn, gorgeous gardens climbing stacked stone walls, and spectacular views of Los Angeles. It must be costing these ECG people a fortune to keep the lawns mowed and weeds pulled. In their marketing materials the sellers have even included a plan for a lavish and sprawling "Grand Estate." Good stuff.

If Crooz and Katie were to buy this property, or some part of it, they'd have to build from the ground up. Which might not be a bad thing for a couple that require a virtual fortress for a home. Just imagine the sorts of new-fangled Mission Impossible style security systems Crooz would have installed.

Certainly the one time king of Hollywood would be living among the richest of the rich with neighbors like billionaire Jerrold Perrenchio who lives close by in a tremendous and meticulously landscaped estate. Both Mel and Bren Simon's palatial house, which they have on the market for $17,500,000, and billionaire philanthropist Robert Day's Mediterranean manse overlook the The Park at Stone Canyon. So at least Crooz could be assured the neighbors would not be standing on jalopy strewn front lawns drinking Budwiser, picking their teeth, and adjusting their crotches while their lady friends paint the the dog's toe nails and color their own hair inside.

Who knows where TomKat will end up? Have they already purchased? Are they considering leaving Los Angeles? This saga of the TomKat house hunt continues and we shamelessly admit, we're addicted like a cheap crack whore. We can't help it, we just find Crooz to be like a car wreck on the highway, you just can't help but to slow down and look for the carnage.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mama, I am just as riveted as you. This place looks like the fortress of Scientology, I bet this is the one. Keep us posted. Luv ya!

Anonymous said...

Mama, this is good stuff (and I'd pay you a pretty penny--hypothetically speaking, naturally--to hear all your tales of Tommy Boy's exploits over the years). That Bel-Air estate looks so over-the-top tacky. Can you imagine Leah Remini and all Tommy's Scieno friends arguing over who gets to bowl first? And Katie would, as always, look like a fish out of water there. On the other hand, she could probably a quiet corner where no one could find her.

Keep the updates coming--they're great!

Anonymous said...

That St Pierre property is unbelievably vile! You'd think with a $30 million estate you could spend a few million on a GOOD interior designer - it looks like one of Saddams palaces!

Your Mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The land has been reduced to just under 60m on themls.com

I doubt they'll get over 40m for it. On paper 12 acres in Bel-Air sounds great but the parcel isn't flat and its shape isn't exactly ideal...

doug said...

the place in bel air looks like a mausoleum that was decorated by liberace.

OneWag said...

The St. Pierre 'estate' is one a Stallone would be proud to call 'Home.'