Friday, April 20, 2007

Another Friends House

BUYER: Robert Krail
SELLER: Adam Chase
LOCATION: Oriole Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $19,150,000 (sale price)
SIZE: 9,691 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A flat acre with 270 degree unobstructed views. Long private driveway, motor court, stunning pool & spa. Huge grassy yard, landscape design by Getty Gardens landscape architect. Outdoor dining loggia w/ fireplace. Reclaimed materials throughout. Peerless craftsmanship, 2 years of brick and stone work by 4th generation European masons, 14.5 ft. ceiling, Venetian plaster throughout, 5 fireplaces, wood burning pizza oven, wine cellar, professional screening room, billiard room, gym. Amazing master suite w/ outdoor loggia w/ fireplace.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama has been sitting on this property for quite some time. The first reason is that we were unsure whether this technically qualifies as a celebrity house. And the second is that we were a little unclear about who purchased this house. But we've got it all figured out for the hungry children.

This property was purchased in 1999 for $3,100,000 by a man named Adam Chase. Most of you will not recognize his name unless you bother to read the credits of the television show Friends. Mister Chase made millions as one of the executive producers of the hugely successful Friends program. We admit we went through a short Friends watching episode in the late 1990s, but if Your Mama is being truthful, we found the show to be annoying, cloying, and frustratingly banal. Obviously that is not how most folks in the world feel about the show because it's still making mountains of money for all the people who have a piece of the syndication rights.

Anyhoo, Mister Chase bulldozed the house he bought on Oriole Drive and meticulously built a Tuscan palace way up in the Bird Streets complete with a long gravel drive, terra cotta urns strewn about the lawns, and stone work that would make even the most jaded Italian tycoon green with envy. It's unclear to Your Mama when this house was completed, but we gather from the shampoo in the shower that Mister Chase lived in this house at least a short time before dropping it back on the market for a staggering $24,500,000.

We are quite sure Mister Chase spent a small fortune building this house. But we also are quite sure he made a small fortune when he sold it to hedge fund honcho Robert Krail in the Fall of 2006 for $19,150,191 according to public records.

Your Mama has no idea why Krail, who like so many of the big money hedge fund operators is based out of Greenwich, CT, would want or need such a large and expensive house in Los Angeles. Perhaps he has the acting bug?

This house is magnificent and the quality of the craftsmanship is beyond reproach. None the less Your Mama would never want to live in a house that had 10 bathrooms. No way children. We like our privacy too much to be having a house with nearly a dozen poopers that would require at least one gurl be up in the house 24/7 with a terlit brush glued to one hand and a can of comet in the other.

Secondly, we wouldn't dream of spending $20,000,000 on a house that did not already have a tennis court in place. Not that Your Mama would ever be on the thing swinging a racket and making an ass of our self, but we're thinking of the resale. No tennis court means all the sporty, tan, and too-fit Angelenos will rule this house out before even coming to look. Is it any wonder this was bought by a man from Connecticut rather than an exercise nut from Los Angeles?

Before we sign off we would like to turn your attentions to two of the features Your Mama appreciates most. First is the swimming pool. Lawhd children, this swimming pool is gorgeous. Ordinarily we prefer a more enclosed and protected swimming pool area, but we make an exception for this pool. Because on the few days every year when the smog isn't at a choking and eye burning level, the view from the chaise lounges here is truly the epitome of a Hollywood Hills view.

The second feature is, of course, that delicious shower in the master bedroom. The marble covered cave looks a little like the inside of a fancy mausoleum, but it also looks like it's just waiting for a bevy of big titted Hollywood hussies to come over and participate in a sordid Roman style orgy.

Along with two other very large and lavish properties, this house occupies what many might call the crown of the bird streets sitting high above all the other crazy expensive houses owned by rich folks, celebrities, and wannabe celebrities. The other two houses in the crown are owned by Fantasy Island host Ricardo Montalban and on the other side a tremendous house is owned by Grant Cardone, a big-time Scientologist who made his money as a motivational speaker. Mister Cardone, who claims to have a real estate portfolio worth in excess of $100,000,000 has had his extravagant property on the market for quite some time and is asking $17,500,000. The singer/songwriter Dido owns the house just below which she purchased in 2005 for just over $4,000,000.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

will this be a record for the birds? I know of the $11 mil house that Steve Hermann did, and thought that was expensive for the neighborhood...but this?

greg said...

mr. chase never lived in the house for a few years. he just built the house and put it up for sale. i remember seeing the house for sale and being surprised at how over-priced the house was because of the sq. footage of the house.

Your Mama said...

Hmm. Not actually quite sure how long Mr. Chase lived in the house, but I think he did for at least a short time...afterall, there is shampoo in the master bathroom.

Anonymous said...

Nice house, love the pool. The shower feels a little claustrophobic.

Natalee said...

"a bevy of big titted Hollywood hussies"

That line is priceless.

Thanks for the laugh, Mama!

Anonymous said...

the house next door was formerly owned by lionel ritchie & also chris evans (d.j / t.v presenter - U.K) then next door to that place is leonardo di caprios compound then next door to him is keanu reeves then a couple of doors along is tobey mcguire - total celeb heavy street .... if the buyer needs a tennis court then the old lionel ritchie place next door has a pretty sweet one - & a nicer pool!

Anonymous said...

I gotta tell you, this is by far your most amusing and laugh out loud commentary yet! Us folks in the main office have just read it out loud and has really perked up the day.

As to the Casa, the dining room and kitchen are way too contrived. Maybe in person the craftmanship is worthy but from the pix, it all looks like early Home Depot.

greg said...

"afterall, there is shampoo in the master bathroom."

no. when it was ORIGINALLY for sale, there was a virtual tour of the house and you could tell it wasn't lived in because some rooms didn't have furniture and you could obviously tell that the house was staged.

doug said...

speaking as a person who would have to sell his honda just to initially stock the ten "terlits" with charmin, my opinion may be jaded. be that as it may, i can't imagine "living" in a place like this. a house like this makes a craftsman in eagle rock look good.

Anonymous said...

Did you go to the open house? I went and only saw 5 bedrooms, not 8, unless I missed a couple. Also, I think the actual purchase price was much higher bc he sold the house completely furnished. A broker I know who sells a lot of stuff in the Hollywood Hills says it went for "significantly more than 20 mill", but that included the furniture.