Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Kelsey Grammer Still Has a House for Sale in the Hamptons

SELLER: Kelsey (and Camille) Grammer
LOCATION: Bridgehampton, NY
PRICE: $9,995,000
SIZE: 8,000 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day we dissed and discussed the Beaver Creek, CO ski-house that much awarded and lavishly paid actor/producer Kelsey Grammer (Frasier, The Simpsons, Cheers) recently heaved on the market with an asking price of $7,900,000.

Today we're going to stick with Mister Grammer's great real estate sell-off and head east to Bridgehampton, NY where Mister Grammer and ex-Missus Grammer–the undisputed villainess of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have their Hamptons hideaway on the market with an asking price of $9,995,000.

Property records and previous reports show that Mister and ex-Missus Missus Grammer bought the property in January of 2006 when they shelled out $8,517,000 for the 1.7-ish acre estate tucked down a private tree-lined lane just a quick jaunt by bicycle to downtown Bridgehampton where the Wall Street and Lily Pulitzer sets can shop for bargains at Kmart and then scoot down the road and pick up some of the $100 per pound lobster salad at Loaves and Fishes.

The Grammers' shingled "cottage" was first listed–as best as Your Mama can tell–in mid-October of 2007 with the rather absurd asking price of $16,100,000. For the life of Your Mama, we can't fathom what was done to the property to justify an asking price nearly twice what was paid for it less than two years previously. Whatever the reasoning behind that unsuccessful maneuver, the house has become a bit of an albatross around Mister Grammer's neck and 3.5 years later the property remains up for sale but with a far more practical asking price of $9,995,000.

Current listing information for Mister and ex-Missus Grammer's 8,000-ish square foot mansion shows there are a total of 7 bedrooms and 7.5 bathrooms spread over three levels of space serviced by an elevator, at least five fireplaces and a three car garage luxuriously equipped with radiant heat. That's right, radiant heated floors in. the. garage.

A blue stone walk connects the parking pad to the front door that opens to an impress-the-guests-style double height entry with hardwood floors, painted paneling on the walls and a sizable chandelier that more than just a little resembles a pineapple. As the children surely know, the pineapple is a symbol for hospitality and that's why so many newel posts in Victorian homes have carved pineapples sticking up off of them and why it's always appropriate to arrive at some one's home bearing the gift of a pineapple.

The primary public spaces on the main floor include a formal living room with a row of French doors that open to a large terrace, a formal dining room outfitted with a table for 12, a wood-paneled library with coffered ceiling and a sun porch with classic diamond-paned sash windows and a somewhat incongruous and unexpected basket weave pattern terra-cotta tile floor. Less formal areas include an all-beige "great room" and gourmet eat-in kitchen with distressed wide-plank wood floors, white cabinetry and marble counter tops.

Four guest bedrooms on the second floor each possess a private pooper and the private master suite offers a number of features favored by–and only available too–rich-folks such as a fireplace, private library/sitting room, private covered porch with farm field views, and spacious terliting and bathing facilities that include a jetted tub and steam shower.

In addition to a home theater–spelled "theatre" on the listing, which makes it appear more chi-chi–wine cellar and fitness room with full bath, steam shower and dry sauna the lower basement level includes a two bedroom and one bath suite for staff or less-favored overnight guests who don't rank high enough on the food chain to get on of the private guest suites on the second floor. Presumably these second-class staff rooms in the basement were shared by Camille's army of nannies when they were in residence. Of course, our imperious housegurl Svetlana would pull the hair right off Your Mama and the Dr. Cooters' heads iffin we ever asked her to bunk the basement. Ol' superstitious Sveta does not, under any circumstances, lay prone below ground level because it's too closely mimics the position of a dead person.

The grounds, ringed by trees and hedges that promote privacy, include a gravel drive that bends one way to form a parking pad and curves the other way to stretch around to the attached three-car garage. Expansive lawn areas surround the house, a pergola next to the sunken Har-tru tennis court provides dappled shade for the sun weary and a wide blue stone terrace off the back of the house over looks the heated swimming pool, spa and adjacent pool house/guesthouse. Tucked up along the property line, in an out of the way location between the garage and the guesthouse, a wee bit of land was given over to a jungle gym contraption for Kelse and Cammy's youngins.

Anyhoodles poodles, like the rest of their homes, the day-core of the Grammers' Bridgehampton bedsit, while expensively done and "correct," is so upsettingly harmless and mind numbingly benign that it provokes peeve and makes us feel a bit unsteady on our decorative feet. We can only hope that this house was staged for the listing photographs. Otherwise the day-core just makes us feel sad and lonely. This is what too often happens, children, when a person owns 7 or 8 expensive and large homes. Its near impossible for all or any of them to appear as if they are homes that are lived in and loved. These high-cost and high-maintenance homes that are part of the extensive private portfolios of the wildly wealthy only get used a few weeks or–at most–a couple months a year and as a result they take on neither the comforting patina of daily life nor the joie de vivre that occurs when a home gets decorated with the cherished odds and ends that person collects and accumulates over time.

In addition to their ski-house in Colorado and their summer cottage in Bridgehampton, NY, Mister and ex-Missus Grammer also have a house in the high-toned Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles on the market, first listed at $19,900,000 in the summer of '08 and now listed with an asking price of $18,900,000. That property, which appeared in the glossy pages of Architectural Digest, no longer appears on any of the real estate listing aggregators like Redfin but it does still appear on the website of listing agent Mauricio Umansky. Reality television watchers will recall that on one episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, ex-Missus Grammer told Mister Umansky's wife Kyle Richards that due to their ongoing cat fight they will no longer be doing business with Mister Umansky. Obviously it was not, in the end, Cammy who got to make that decision because the listing was never, as far as we know, pulled from Mister Umansky's real estate purview.

Will their mansion in Maui be the next house up on the chopping block as a consequence of their dee-vorce? We shall see, puppies. We shall see.

UPDATE (next day): The New York Post reported today that Mister Grammer's house in the Hamptons has a signed contract at the full $9,995,000 asking price. Well good for him. I guess that shows all us chickens who thought nearly ten million bucks was a lot of money for the property.

When asked if he and his new wife Kayte–a trolley dolly nearly half Mister Grammer's age–planned to buy another house in the Hamptons the actor replied, "While that's likely, it's entirely up to Kayte to decide what we do with our new life."

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

This guy is going to wind-up broke.

angie said...

Lovely home and grounds. I'm really appreciating the light, bright, spacious, and uncluttered atmosphere. Those are the 4 words I live by when it comes to a home I inhabit. Despite the utterly bland and staged looking decor, I'd choose to live with it, as is, in a minute over Xtina's what-ever-it-is.

Anonymous said...

i fell asleep just looking at those rooms. I'm going down to my kitchen store and get Hampton Summer Home cookie cutters.

lil' gay boy said...

"...the pineapple is a symbol for hospitality and that's why […] it's always appropriate to arrive at some one's home bearing the gift of a pineapple."

See? Viva, Tommy & Angie were right to chastise that anonymous buzz-kill in the previous post; not only are Mama's children lighthearted, but educable too.

Mama's also right about the decor; like all the Grammer residences, this one looks like it's never been actually lived in, just visited. Sad indeed; just think ––– those younguns' only real sense of home will be a little plastic key card that opens the lock with a wee green light.

*sniffle*

Anon 12:59, it's odd that this isn't listed with Corcoran as it is such a typical "Three Kings" of the Hamptons-like composition ––– architect Laffey, builder Breitenbach, and landscape designer Hollander ––– or what I like to call "The Tame Ternion" ––– but only because I'm mean.

ctkat1 said...

And he married the newest Mrs. Grammer without a prenup- because apparently the only thing Kelsey Grammer enjoys more than purchasing lavish property is selling it all in a fire-sale divorce proceeding.

Anonymous said...

Bless you Mama!

Tonight when I get home after a long day at work and take a good look around my abode, I'll see JOIE DE VIVRE instead of the mess that's usually there.

Anonymous said...

Mama and Children:

The pineapple was a symbol of hospitality in colonial America, and would be served by the host to one's most esteemed guests. This was because the pineapple was imported and therefore very expensive. Decorative pineapple finials frequently crowned overdoor broken pediments.

Of course the pineapple is kosher. Nevertheless, when arriving at my home, it is always appropriate to bear a bottle of Jameson's.

L'Chaim,
Rabbi Hedda LaTess

Anonymous said...

Kelsey is obviously pretty awful with money, and in the past only protected by the fact that he was making so much. But then again, on the not obvious side, he may well have also given a big chunk over to someone much better at it than he who then invested in hedge funds, etc. Who knows.

If I remember correctly, they made a big killing on their flip in Beverly Park back when the market was humming along. That well may have triggered all these other purchases which occurred before the crash, and when (for some people) there was no direction but up, up, up.

No smart money manager would ever advise that people at their level of wealth have as many homes as they do. If the number 85m, which has been floated as Kelsey's net worth pre-divorce, is anywhere near accurate, then they're not rich enough! Seems to me, they were always meant to be flipped into a burgeoning bubble. Now they should unload, and if at a loss,, negotiate which one takes which losses on their no longer joint returns

Anonymous said...

And another thing. . . at what point exactly do the Grammers get it that their strategy of listing these places with absurd prices is a failed strategy? Oh, that point might be right now when they actually want/need to sell them.
Of the houses they presently have on the market, Holmby Hills seems to be the only one that's actually a special property. Vail and Bridgehampton are a dime a dozen, although the decor/furnishings are better than most. And since I'm sure they want to unload that stuff in the deals, there is a certain premium there.

StPaulSnowman said...

Great post and comments. This place looks to me like something Nicolas Cage would come up with after accidently doubling up on his Ativan.

Jumpin' Jejosephat, formerly of LA said...

@StPaulSnowman- Ativan? Hmmm... I'm thinking that might just be the only way to endure the Siberia-like winters living up here around Les Grands Lacs . At least for those of us that have, until recently, lived in LA for most of our Bombay & Cuervo swilling lives.

chris said...

Is this the house Kate Hudson is looking ay buying?

StPaulSnowman said...

Jumpin' J............you hit the nail on the head. I have five feet of snow piled on either side of my driveway. Those LA chillun are worried about who Ryan Phillippe is dating while we are worried about building an ark as temperatures soar into the forties. Here's hoping you aren't posting from Green Bay. If it is too much for you, you could return to LA.........Mama has posted some great property bargains lately!

Anonymous said...

Its a perfectly nice house, but anyone who has 9.9 to spend and wants a house like this will just go to John's office and have him make them a new one. Then you get to put in what you want, where you want it and it'll be the same price. Its not like this house has an irreplaceable address. As nice as it is, and its a perfectly nice house, I don't understand these second-hand spec houses (or custom houses that look exactly like spec houses) at 9.9.

Anonymous said...

5:35: Yes, I get the vibes of "not enough money coming in these days" rather than real estate fickle behind these sales, if they ever do sell. It's so much wiser to put your excess income into the stock market where you get an offer to buy every minute of every day than into real estate where you may have to wait for years, if not eternity, if you need to cash out.

Carla In California said...

I like this house. I like the kitchen. And I do agree that it appears that this home, like many in current possession of the Grammers', feels like its visited and not lived-in. What a shame.

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Anonymous said...

Anonymouse 5:45;
You cannot get a new 9.9 on a great lot in the Hamptons. This is a good deal, at a little less, of course.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Mama! I laughed out loud at Sveta's superstitious basement belief.

The update made me shake my head though. What a self-absorbed pig Mr. Grammer is to prioritize his "new" life with a trolley dolly over his children.

Lady J

Anonymous said...

Update is interesting, indeed.

Kelsey is so f**ked up. God bless Kayte. I'm sure, quite an unexpected windfall for her life. If she was working BA first, then there had to have been the hope that one of the many rich and powerful men served, would bite (and that goes for the men working that class as well). She doesn't strike me as quite as clever and tough as Camille, but you never know.

I bet they agreed to include the furnishings in selling it at full ask, which would mean they may not have broken even here on the basic elements of purchase price and decoration. Forget about carrying it during the time they owned it. So not a good investment, but presumably they did have some "happy times" during the summers they were there.

There's a whole lot of Wall Street bonus money out there this Spring, so it may be looking up for the Hamptons high end. Let's see what happens with the property Mama discussed last week on Highway Behind the Pond in EH.

Anonymous said...

Mama, whoever could of guessed that you and all you fans are so utterly without the slightest sense of humor about your own crass materialism, unfettered greed, and all the superficial and gross pretentiousness that you so self-importantly like to delude yourselves into thinking that your "above"?

And Kelsey Grammer is just another boring Hollywood Republican bourgeois pig with no taste.

Anonymous said...

What about his house in the Catskills, near Andes?

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 2:18, at the risk of repeating myself, it's currently snowing in Sendai; come down off the cross, they could really use the wood there right about now.

;-)

As for Kelsey "Foot-in-Mouth" Grammer's crass remark to The New York Post (a paper Elaine Boozler once succinctly defined as "...I only buy Hustler so I have something to carry The Post home in," one can only hope that he was trying to be mindful of his new wifey's sensibilities rather than neglectful of his children ––– after all, they don't seem to flinch at the mention of dad's name like the (remaining) Crosbys do.

Anonymous said...

This house is absolutely beautiful. All it needs is a little wallpaper and some simple window treatments.

Jumpin' Jejosephat said...

@ Anon 4:43- let's not forget a match and a splash of industrial strength accelerant.
@ StPaul- you have NO idea... my testicles have turned into ovaries, migrating up into my chest trying to keep warm.

Anonymous said...

Dear Little Gay,

Sendai is doomed with or without The Messiah, and as far as your request for my unsanctimonious and compassionate return to humanity is concerned, as well as needing some of my hard wood...well, you'll just have to have get used to the bitter taste of my communion wafers first.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 8:55 PM: Why are you on this site? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself.

Lady J

Anonymous said...

only one correction, i dont believe camille is the undisputed villain of bev hills housewives....i'd say kyle richards gives her a very good run for her money, and then goes all in and passes her in the end!

Aunt Gina said...

oh anon 2:18 how your post took me back to my freshman year in college, when being cool meant smoking Gauloises and calling anyone with more money than me "bourgeois pigs"...so, one of two things are true: (1) you are a bitter 62 year old hippie whose only resume entry is selling tie-dye at Dead concerts [and probably typing these posts at the public library waiting for the free clinic to open] or (2)just a dumbshit, acne-prone 14 year old stoner trying to pass off your overblown teenage angst as actual life experience. Either way, it's wasted on us here. Do come back and post when you move out of your parents' basement, we can't wait to hear all about your next real estate transaction, perhaps Mama will even cover your very first ratty studio apartment.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Auntie Gina, I work at Sotheby's, live in a fully restored Wallace Neff,
and sell lots of really expensive and ugly houses to as many bourgeois pigs, such as yourself, as I possibly can.

And even though I certainly loathe The Grateful Dead, I must confess that there are many people whose untimely demise I would be quite grateful for.

Aunt Gina said...

and for all your [i]alleged[/i]sophistication, you still end sentences with a preposition, for which there is no excuse. Breeding always shows.

Anonymous said...

My Dearest Gina,

I end my sentences any way I wish, and I can't even begin to imagine what kind of improper nouns, verbs, and adjectives I would love to incorrectly use to describe the likes of you.

Breeding always shows?

So does being pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Gina, now that I think about your love of good breeding, I realize I've got some John Galliano
stuff I could send you.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Gina, now that I think about your love of good breeding, I've
got some great John Galliano stuff I could send you.

Aunt Gina said...

you have a seemingly deep need to spew hatred and offend people. Acting out in a public forum is not the solution to your obvious unhappiness and I doubt it brings you any real satisfaction. Lashing out at total strangers to get your jollies...and I'm pathetic?

Every website that allows comments is plagued by creeps like you, which makes you neither unique or particularly interesting.

If you were worthy of any attention in the real world, you would not have the pathological need to desperately seek it here.

lil' gay boy said...

Anyone who would presume to chide my Aunt Gina on matters of sentence structure shows little understanding, let alone possession of, breeding; unless you're including the ill-bred such as yourself.

But then the lame crack about Galliano was as obvious & desperate as you; hence the aphorism, "...better to keep one's mouth closed and be presumed an idiot than open it and remove all doubt."

Anonymous said...

God, what supercilious waste oozes out of your clenched and pretentious buttocks! ... humorless parasites sucking on the bloated plastic tit of filthy lucre and meaningless celebrity like the worms and maggots that lie rotting on the bottom of The Salton Sea... waxing poetic over ugly chaise lounges and fascist price tags as if you were Evelyn Waugh or Marcel Proust! Your enough to make every homeless person in this city pick up a torch in one hand and cradle a copy of Das Kapital in the other, as they march into Beverly Hills en masse, malice in their eyes and retribution in their hearts..

Cesium-137, do your stuff.

Anonymous said...

And to you, my Dear Fey Adolescent One, with your lovely aphorism...
here's a little Voltaire right back at ya:

"To really succeed in this world, it is not enough to be stupid...one must also be well-mannered"

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