Monday, March 21, 2011

Neil Patrick Harris Lists In Studio City

SELLER: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka
LOCATION: Studio City, CA
PRICE: $1,599,000
SIZE: 2,408 square feet, 3 bedrooms 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Now that actor/singer/presenter Neil Patrick Harris and his singing and dancing man-mate David Burtka have settled with their twin babies into their new (and newly remodeled) 2.1 million dollar digs in Encino, CA they've hoisted their previous L.A. residence in the hills of Studio City, CA on the market with an asking price of $1,599,000.

We've discussed Mister Harris ad nauseum on several occasions so we'll suffice to sum up his professional life succinctly and incompletely by saying only that he's successfully steered his child super-stardom as a geeky teenage doctor prodigy (Doogie Howser, M.D.) into an enviably successful and adult career on television (How I Met My Mother), Broadway (Cabaret, Assassins) and the silver screen (the Harold and Kumar Go to... film franchise).

Property records show that the out, proud and a-list homosexual–presumably with some sort of input from Miss Burtka–purchased the modestly scaled 1950s shingled ranch-style residence in Studio City in the spring of 2007 for $1,500,000. Although the house remains largely as it was when purchased Misters Harris and Burtka did have some work done on the landscaping, the hardscaping and the kitchen, which was completely remodeled and now looks suspiciously like the over-processed custom kitchens of about a bazillion mcmansions in a gajillion upscale gated tract developments. It even has a massive Medieval-looking pot rack that looks to Your Mama like it's aching to brain some naughty chef.

What was not changed, apparently, is one of the guest bathrooms done up in high-glitz and garish with mirrored walls, ceiling and vanity, rust colored marble floors and counter tops, peach colored sheers over the window and–the real cherry on the decorative cake–a twinkling chandelier. It's just awful and beyond gaudy but it's also, because it is so bodly tacky, magnificent from an anthropological point of view. At first we couldn't figure out why a couple of youngish gays would keep such a tragedy and then we kept looking at the listing photo of the bathroom and it slowly dawned on us that we too would keep it intact. We'd just leave the door open and rope it off and let guest peer in like it was the decorative arts wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Anyhoo, the according to listing information the 2,408 square foot house sits up a gated drive and has three bedrooms and three bathrooms, pitched and beamed ceilings, dark-stained hardwood floors with a red over-note, multi-paned windows and French doors and a couple of fireplaces.

A slim corridor runs along the rear of the house where there is a built in barbecue center that opens out to a lovely oval swimming pool and raised spa, both surrounded by an expansive brick terrace. A pergola-shaded dining terrace has sparkly and long if not exactly jet liner views of the San Fernando Valley.

Now then, it's back to Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's scheduled vacation...

listing photos: Engel Multimedia for Prudential California Realty


Anonymous said...

Yo Mama!

We just got a brainstorm about installing a potrack in our playroom, if you catch our drift, and punishing our chef for burning the brisket.

Studly and Rodney

Countervail said...

You know I've mentioned it before, and I still think it's inappropriate to address out gay men with female pronouns and titles, e.g. "Miss Burtka." It may not seem so to you but it comes across very epithetical.

But if you're going to do it anyway dear, then you at least need to do it right. It's Mrs. Burtka, or at least Ms. Burtka. Someone in a long-term relationship with two children is hardly a "miss."

Do they have a title appropriate for bitter, nasty bloggers who think they're funny using derogatory terms for gay people? Duchess Cuntilda of Martiniland? That's funny right?

Madam Mirken said...

Knowing the… shall we say… horizontal aerobics that we all know take place in those kind of rooms, what does one say an underpaid domestic about the paw prints the fallowing morning?

‘Svetlana honey, the ghost struck again last night and he lubed it up something fierce... so bring the big mop.’

Anonymous said...

I think the glaringly white pooper in the Baroque bathroom is very witty indeed and the perfect accent to everything else.

Anonymous said...

I like the mirrored bathroom most of all. At least it has personality.

Anonymous said...

Don't think I could use the white pooper in the baroque bathroom -- the "sense-around" effects would just be too much!!

Anonymous said...

Agree with @Countervail

And you write quite inappropriate when talking about DB. He is a professional chef (and actor),he runs his own company. And to call him Miss, that I perceive as patronizing.

" with some sort of input from Miss Burtka"
What do you mean by that? They bought this home together.

They are so committed to each other as CA law, allowing them, so please be nice and treat them with the respect they deserve.

Anonymous said...

Countervail, back off momma. You clearly do not get the context in which this blog is being written. If you have a comment about one of the homes, feel free to say something. There are loads of commenters who I look forward to reading their comments just as much as momma's. Get on the bus and enjoy yourself or find someone else to harass. Momma is brazilliant, we are all here to enjoy celebrity real estate(sometimes the celebrity portion is stretched a bit thin). So please, don't send a cloud to rain on my parade....

lil' gay boy said...

@ Countervail,

Given the hatred things like Prop 8 have engendered it behooves us all to cut each other a little slack; there are certainly those who have taken umbrage at my chosen moniker in the not-too-distant past.

Please know that is not to say you shouldn't speak out when offense is taken, but rather consider what is truly at stake before doing so. I suspect this is more of a generational issue of petty infighting rather than prejudice or a lack of respect, much in the way that the seemingly "shameful" secretiveness of the Mattachine Society seems so anachronistic today.

Let us not dishonor those who blazed the trail before us; even if they did so in glitter & sequins, calling each other "gurl", never forget that their courage is what allows us to walk proudly in the light, even if we're only bitching about pronouns.

Just like in good design, it's called a sense of proportion for a very good reason.

Tammy Ruble said...

The "Miss" Burtka crack was mean and ugly. Shame on you.

Anonymous said...

you pay that much for half the land in Sydney, Australia.
I'm going to move to the US!

Viva! said...

What an ugly house.

And that bathroom is especially heinous.

I expected more from mean NPH.

StPaulSnowman said...

I, for one, think that the use of "Miss Dr. Cooter", would be endearing rather than demeaning. I am certain that all of this hypersentitive critical reaction to Mama's use of the prefix "miss" would rattle her about as much as criticizing Dame Edna for wearing tasteless glasses. I thought this site was fun theater, not social criticism.

Anonymous said...

LGB, Mama, and Children:

The last surviving original member of the Mattachine Society, James "John" Finley Gruber, passed away at his home in Santa Clara on February 27th at 82 years of age. His obituary may be read in the online version of the Bay Area Reporter. May memories of Mr. Gruber provide us with inspiration and blessings.

Rabbi Hedda LaTess

Aunt Gina said...

While I completely agree that labelling gay men as "Miss" promotes an outdated and unfair stereotype, I remind everyone that this blog is written by a gay man who refers to himself as Mama and no one has their knickers in a twist over that.

Rosco Mare said...

Maybe you caught sight of our Mama Dearest under unusually harsh lighting, without the help of a properly positioned key light. But a man? Oh, puleeze, come on...

mattja said...

Meanwhile back @Rupauls Absolute Interior Illusion Lounge The children sip martini's while the Queens debate over which hag threw shade. Just between us gurls deliberated..Shut up Mama has made her decision...sashay back, fix your tired, bitter web fingers and take a nerve pill..And.. don't suck it up ..okay?.. all better now pumpkins?

Anonymous said...

It absolutely looks as though most of your newer readers have no clue who you are, dear Mama.

Rosco Mare said...

To Anon 3:23

You're right, we don't. And we also don't want too much light shined on the magic of this great blog. Okaaaaay! :-)

Anonymous said...

I do want to know, Mama, are you a man?

Anonymous said...

Damn, aint nobody talking about this ugly azz house! The chilrens' is too busy putting a good beat down on some Momma trash talker. Don't go tryin' to correct our Momma with that Miss, Mrs. and all that rediculous stuff. We chilrens' was all raised up on this missuse and word play of our Momma. She is Momma to us and can take her little liberty to diss and disscuss. Damn, it's just a blog for fun and you know OUR Momma luvs her some gins and tonics and swirls her words around on occasion. Iffn' you don't know all this and have a problem with it--she probably ain't your momma and we don't do that "Yo Mamma" stuff around here. You are just jelouse that your Momma isn't creative and your a little bastard child with no Daddy. I'm the black sheep and Momma still gives me love and let's me come home once a year at Christmas. Don't make me whoop that azz when I get there you dissrespectful house guest!

Anyways, about that sh*t pile of a house. Oh, I shouldn't have started out that way. An essay teacher told me once that when you hurt the readers feelings in the first sentance they are automatically turned off from that point on. Oh well, I cry foul on many levels with this house. Not only as a house--and priced over a million, even in L.A. but because these two have successfully dissmanteled the stereotype of an out and about hollywood gay couple having that genetic predisposition to have above average taste.

C'mon. I mean NOTHING in the house matches really. The kitchen has multiple colors of wood that don't match--ceiling/cabinets. Rustic looking cabinets--not fitting with home. THAT TILE ;(
What-in-the-hell. It's not even laid on the diagonal. Looks terrible with the counters. Pot rack--(see ur Momma)

Oh, the house has terrible curb appeal. All asphalt and some dumb azz plantar/pots shoved up on house and wall. Nasty azz ficus trees take over front of house and dwarf it.

That one living room thing with the oriental rug does not match. The other living room is just boring and retarded and the pictures are retarded.

Is this house all white?? (Except that old 70's bordello bath)

Really though, kick dougie's dumb, cheap and boring azz out and I think someone could whip the house into some sort of shape--maybe. Warm it up with color. Go traditional or country-ish. Better homes and gardens/house beutiful sort of thing. This house aint an Architectural Digest sort of thing. The kitchen is a killer because it just needs to be dealt with and it's a waste of money and hurts to throw all his doings out.

Okay, my psychological assessment on this one: Dougie--meet some nice gay/effeminate decorators or some women with good taste and let them help!! Or, stop being so cheap!!!!!!!!!! I think this is the problem. Practical meets cheap. Dougie, it's okay. Spend a little and enjoy something nice. You worked too hard all your life to come home to this!! I mean, you've been working and raking in ca$h for 20 years. Really, buy something nice fully furnished or something.

Damn. I had to rant on this one, because his homes have been pissing me off for years.

Okay, I repent, I hear he's a nice guy. That counts for everything and I am truly sorry for the pain I may have caused the family or my siblings.

Okay Momma, I'll take my ritalin now.

Your Black Sheep in WEHO,

Still Here.

P.S. See you at Christmas, or maybe Thanksgiving--us working people have to put in for that sh*t way in advance!!

Eddie from PDX said...

From on Queen to another... girl, get over it. We all call each other by female pronouns. It's campy, it's fun, it's in our venacular.

Mama, as a gay man who goes by "Your Mama" you would think that people would figure this shit out.

Cool house. I like the living room. It doesn't scream "I"M A BIG FUCKING STAR!"

Anonymous said...

The whole house looks boring and restrained, except for that bathroom. It is screamingly out of place. But instead of screaming David Adler or Miles Redd, it screams Liberace. Barf!

Jeannified said...

That is one tacky-ass bathroom. Doesn't fit in with teh rest of the house at all. Funny though, that they didn't remodel it. Guess it suited their taste.