Thursday, February 18, 2010

Lil Wayne Lists South Beach Condo at a Not So Lil Loss


SELLER: Lil Wayne
LOCATION: Miami Beach, FL
PRICE: $2,799,000
SIZE: 3,990 square feet, 4 bedrooms 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Now that he's headed up the river for a spell, it looks like 4-time grammy winning rapper/hip hopper Lil Wayne doesn't have much use for his condo at the Murano Grande down in South Beach because, thanks to Our Man in Miami, we've learned that it recently landed on the market with an asking price of $2,799,000.

The wildly prolific, surprisingly diminutive and heavily tattooed Lil Wayne was supposed to be sentenced in New York last week on weapons possession charges–he got caught by the po-po with a handgun when he shouldn't have had one–but the proceedings were delayed so that he could have some work done on his diamond studded grill. Pleeze. Mister Lil Wayne, whose real name is Dwayne Carter, Jr. and who sometimes goes by the unflattering name Weezy, has been quite bizzy in his pre-prison weeks and months. He performed at the Grammys, was part of recording the redux of We Are the World for aid to Haiti, moved his record label from New Orleans to New York so he can maintain a bidness as usual flow from his cell at Riker's Island, and he recorded an album worth of cross-over rock music so that he can release new music while he's spending a year as Big Larry's "wife." Listen children, say what you like about Mister Lil Wayne and his drank drinking, pot smoking and baby making ways–he's got 4 shorties with 4 baby mommas–but this is one mighty ambitious fellow who isn't going to let a little time in the pokey slow down his professional roll. You gotta respect that people, even if you don't care for his particular brand of rapper fabulosity.

Anyhoo, according to both property records and Our Man in Miami, Mister Lil Wayne scooped up a condo at the 37-story Murano Grande complex in August of 2007 for $3,100,000. It doesn't take any flicking of the beads on our bejeweled abacus to see that Mister Lil Wayne is looking at at a not so lil loss of more than half a million clams when the fat real estate fees that he will have to pay get factored into the situation.

Listing information shows the unit measures 3,990 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms while marketing materials for the building show that the condos in that line were originally designed with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 poopers. We're not sure if Mister Lil Wayne did away with one of the bedrooms or if that's just a typo on the listing or if we're just grasping at real estate straws.

Whatever the case, according to the floor plan, Mister Lil Wayne's condo contains a private elevator landing that opens into an entrance hall with a windowless library/media room to the right and the master suite on the left. Dead ahead is the a 35-foot long, 700 square foot glass wrapped "grand salon" that opens onto the largest of the condo's three terraces.

The master suite, which opens to the same terrace as the "grand salon," has western views over the Intracoastal Waterway, two walk-in closets, a small dressing room and his and her poopers, one of which has a gigantic spa tub and a bee-day for washing up the private parts after doing the dirty bizness.

The kitchen/family room is tucked down a hallway off the "grand salon" and opens to a "breakfast" terrace. One of the three secondary bedrooms is rather awkwardly accessed through the family room and Your Mama would suggest to anyone who does not need a 4th bedroom or den to blow out the wall between the bedroom/den and the family room. This would not only create enough space for family room furniture and a breakfast table but would give our imperious house gurl Svetlana a to die for view of the ocean from her position behind the stove. The other two bedrooms, one with private pooper and one with a Jack and Jill pooper set up with the 4th bedroom/den that we'd get rid of, both have walk in closets and access to the third terrace.

The Murano Grande, one of a trio of condo towers that also include the Murano Portofino (where Palm Beach resident Ivana Trump owns a small apartment) and the ICON (not to be confused with the Icon Brickell where JLo and her paper thin huzband Marc Anthony reportedly bought a condo), sits on 4.1 bayfront acres. In addition to public areas designed by the Rockwell Group–the same folks doing up the Academy Awards this year–the complex provides residents with a heated bayfront swimming pool and spa, lighted tennis court, full fitness center, media and multi-purpose rooms (because rich people just love watching movies in the lobby of their damn building), concierge services, and 24-hour complimentary valet parking.

What might be best about Mister Lil Wayne's condo, at least as far as Your Mama is concerned is that it's walking distance to Prime One Twelve, one of South Beach best restaurants where one is likely to see any number of famous folks and rich men who drive flashy cars and date even flashier women. True story, one night several years ago while sitting spitting distance Gloria Estefan, one of the high priestesses of celebrity Miami, Your Mama ordered a 4.5 pound lobster at Prime One Twelve that not only cost well over $100 but could have easily fed Your Mama, the Dr. Cooter, Miz Estefan and at least half the homeless folks in Flamingo Park.

Despite owning a big condo at the Murano Grande, according to the South Beach Real Estate Blog and several previous reports, Mister Lil Wayne has been leasing a very contemporary 15,101 square foot waterfront mansion on fancy-schmancy La Gorce Island. Several reports indicate Mister Lil Wayne is buying not leasing the glassy, 3-story house that contains 9 bedrooms and 9 full and 2 half poopers including a 2-story master suite. Although the property was recently for sale with an asking price of $13,900,000, records still show the dee-luxe digs in the name of a big-time property developer. However, we no longer find an active listing for the property so maybe the real estate rumors about Mister Lil Wayne purchasing the property are true? We sort of doubt it, but we shall see chickens, we shall see.

source: South Beach Real Estate Blog

17 comments:

John McKee said...

What a hideous lobby.

Anonymous said...

You sure this isn't Shaquille O'neals bathroom and not a pic of the lobby? could that be his plastic shower curtain in the middle of the picture? Is there a word for worse than hideous?

Jimbo said...

So close and yet so far. Geez, you can look out his condo and see Star Island where the really rich -- like Gloria Estefan.

Sic transit gloria mundi

Anonymous said...

is kevin tomlinson as sexy as his picture?

Anonymous said...

In my humble opinion, this place looks like could be a awesome stabbin' cabin for The Situation or Pauly D.

York said...

It's not really that hideous... it just needs a little more architectural design. =)

MarkyMark said...

It looks like the murder scene from an episode of CSI: Miami

The Shitty Astrologer said...

That's a neat condo layout...wonder what that looks like in person.

Anonymous said...

la gorce circle... this one comes to mind:
http://www.davidhuntsolomon.com/properties/88_Lagorce_circle.html

Anonymous said...

That picture, my esteemed friends, depicts the powder room in Weezy's new crib. YOUNG MONEY FOR LIFE!!! He da bomb like tik-tik. Young Moola droppin' stacks and makin' it back like that -no joke. Don't hate, just participate. Weezy makes it rain, get under the weather mane.

Anonymous said...

Is every lil wayne fan illiterate?

Sure seems that way.

MarkyMark said...

Its a green condo: Lil Wayne Claims Weed Smell is Helping To Sell His House

Anonymous said...

You couldn't PAY ME TEN MILLION to buy this #!%@!'s condo. The mere sight of him is more than enough to make me PUKE across the room. This condo, like still, waaaay too many luxury listings is still overpriced. Plus, this whole place would have to be BOILED in BLEACH, after it was fumigated, then steam cleaned. I detest ghetto rap, and "Lil' Wayne" (BARF) beyond my ability to describe.

Anonymous said...

I heard they're having a hard time showing it because it smells like dope all the time.

Anonymous said...

prime one twelve is a joke!

miami beach condos said...

In my humble opinion, this place looks like could be a awesome stabbin' cabin for The Situation or Pauly..thanks for sharing here..

Anonymous said...

lil wayne is the don