Monday, June 18, 2007

A Model Apartment

BUYER: Gemma Ward
LOCATION: East 6th Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $1,425,000 (list), $1,500/month maintenance
SIZE: 1,600 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: In an elevator building on the 4th floor, this apt is currently configured with three bedrooms, three baths, living room, dining room, and a separate kitchen. Could be reconfigured at a 2 BR/2 BA and a guest suite or media room.Some upgrades have been done including a new kitchen with a Bosch dishwasher and a marble math. Original hardwood floors have just been re sanded. The other two bathrooms are in original prewar condition. Sun streams into the south facing windows, over looking the lovely planted common garden below. Laundry in basement, but there is a possibility for a washer/dryer in the unit.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The recent purchase of this apartment by cat walker and cover girl Gemma Ward was first written up in the NY Observer by Mister Max Abelson and subsequently by Mr. Big Time. So you may have seen and read more than you would ever want to know about the model's new apartment in New York's East Village. If that's that case, you can just sit tight and wait quietly for our next post. Your Mama is in no mood to listen to a bunch of whining.

First of all, we want to know, when did teenage girls start buying $1,500,000 apartments in Manhattan? Miss Gemma Ward is nine-teen years old. Nine-teen. Barely got the bottle outta her mouth and she's snapping up real estate in Manhattan like it's Bonnie Bell lip gloss.

Okay, we know the gurl gets paid to strut her skinny ass down catwalks wearing designer garments that would fit a Pekingese. And we know she was the youngest gurl ever to be on the cover of Vogue magazine. And in the grand scheme of things, $1.5 million for a Manhattan apartment ain't shit. But this gurl is nine-teen damn years old.

When Your Mama was nineteen we were living off our Mama's dime in a ratty apartment with Oreo cookie colored carpeting trying to figure out where our next bag of weed was coming from. That's what teenagers used to do. Times have sure changed. Now we got well paid mannequins buying up property in the East Village before they're even legal to drink the booze at Bungalow 8.

According to Mister Max Abelson, a bidding war broke out over this apartment and Miss Gemma Ward paid $1,525,000 for the apartment, which is $100,000 over asking price. That should tell you something about the crazy state of real estate in New York City.

Your Mama thinks that if you can stomach the East Village now that it's become a grungier version of the Upper West Side filled with nannies pushing strollers and well to do Wall Street hipsters who aren't cool enough to move to Brooklyn, this would be a nice place to live.

We can't say whether the layout of this apartment is functional or not, but from the listing information we can say that it's pleasantly located at the back of the building, is thankfully accessed by an elevator, and includes a jaw dropping 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 1,600 square feet of space. Although the listing states two of the bathrooms are in "pre-war condition" it is our opinion the skinny model got a pretty good price for her new six room apartment.

Although we are laid out in flabbergast at how much money teenage models have to throw around on real estate, we do gen-u-wine-lee wish Miss Gemma Ward a happy house.

Sources: NY Observer, Big Time Listings

4 comments:

deathsweep said...

I love reading your "personal" commentaries! Funny as all hell yet definitely truthful. Please keep doing whatever it is that you do to keep me coming back!

Anonymous said...

Considering she's likely earning between $5M & $8M per year this really isn't all that expensive for her ... I'm sure she has a much grander & more amazing home in her native Australia.

Anonymous said...

Laundry...in the BASEMENT??? For that price? The horror!

Anonymous said...

I actually thought she overpaid for that place, especially considering how much she will have to put into renovation. Also, I wouldn't want to live down there (perhaps because I'm not 19!). I'll take the UWS.