Saturday, February 10, 2007

Real Estate Pornography IX

SELLER: Homosexual Industry Types (to remain anonymous)
LOCATION: Devista Drive, Hollywood Hills, LA
PRICE: $1,695,000
SIZE: 2,687 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stylish modern in sought after Nichols Canyon. Amazing updates include African wood paneled walls, Walker Zanger and Anne Sachs tiled baths. Versatile floor plan flooded with light perfect for entertaining. Private lrg. lot w/ pool, numerous patios. Separate screening/media room. Concrete and bamboo flooring throughout. A sleek getaway in a superb location. Please give 24 hr. Notice to Show.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: After the Tom Jones tragedy we last discussed, we wanted to bring the children something that would help to settle all of our stomachs. As Your Mama trolls around the Los Angeles listings, every now and again we run across a property that tweaks our nipples in the most pleasant sort of way.

Located way up in the hills of Nichols Canyon, this property is currently owned by a couple of homos whose names will remain in our vault. However, Your Mama will tell you this about the two: One is a writer/producer with credits that include multiple episodes of Las Vegas and Queer as Folk. The other has the same name as a not-really-famous actor who publicly has a wife and child. Honestly, Your Mama does not know if the actor person and the man who is living up in this house with another man are indeed the same person. We hope not, but this being Hollywood, one never knows.

The house itself, tucked up into the hillside, sits in a neighborhood of similarly styled properties. It may not have big Downtown views, but Your Mama would happily live in this house anyway. The architectural renovation is thoughtful and we particularly appreciate how the architect/designer treaded lightly on the bones of this classic 1960s residence.

The wide expanse of polished wood behind the fireplace acts as smart and modern re-interpretation of the ubiquitous wood paneling that was so often put up in houses of this era. It also works as an effective and opaque counter-balance to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

The kitchen appears to maintain the original layout and Your Mama loves that mammoth, eight-burner Viking range. Naturally we are surprised to see a crappy little microwave oven sitting catty-corner on the counter top. It does sit at the same angle as the cabinet above, but we do wonder why it was not given a cubby hole of it's own when the kitchen was renovated.

Your Mama recognizes the tile style in the master bathroom shower is not for everyone. However, we feel the choice of color and pattern is sublime. None the less we do spot a problem in here. Can you see where the shower tile meets the old grey tile with the black border? This meeting of tile types is disruptive to the eye. Your Mama would have recommended wrapping that lovely shower tile design around the wall creating a more unified look.

The den/office/media room, located on the first floor just off the entry hall, features a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows leading out to a fenced courtyard. Your Mama always appreciates a nice, private courtyard and this one looks like the perfect place for our bitches Linda and Beverly to quietly sun themselves. The backyard pool, large enough for dipping, small enough not to take over the entire yard, pleases Your Mama immensely. We are concerned there may be some issues with rain washing dirt down the hillside and into the pool, but that's really a problem for Manny the pool guy, right?

Your Mama thinks these gay boys have done a stellar job with the decor. Of course, not everyone appreciates mid-century modern they way they did five years ago, but we're thinking these gentleman have actually tossed enough contemporary pieces up in there so the place it does not feel like a mid-century mausoleum.

This house has gone to contract and while Your Mama does not know at what price it's selling, we can tell you the industry gays paid $855,000 for the house in 2002. Clearly they've put a fair amount of money into renovating, but it would also appear they're getting a pretty good return on their money.

The listing agent, Cory Weiss over at Prudential CA John Aaroe, has provided a lovely virtual tour you can see here, although we expect it will be removed before long as the house is getting ready to transfer to a new owner.

Your Mama would love to know what all the children think of this house, so post some of your comments, thoughts, ideas, and criticisms.

4 comments:

Natalee said...

Ack!! Mama-the photo isn't showing up! There's just a small "x" where my porn should be!! Help!

Your Mama said...

Sorry doll...was working on our screen, let us know if it's still not working.

Natalee said...

Ahhhhh....

Much better now!

Thanks, Mama!

Anonymous said...

Very pretty, although the windows in the bedroom and the dining area seem a bit small.
PS. Also, the 5/02 sales record is showing a sale from the married actor (IMdB says he is married to another actor who may be best remembered for a book adaptation movie she did) TO the writer & a TIC (another single woman).