SELLER: Max Weinberg
LOCATION: Vista Moraga, Brentwood, CA
SIZE: 8,085 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Situated behind the gates in the exclusive Moraga Estates, this “Lautner-esque” architectural home is perched on its own knoll and sited on over 2 acres with head-on views of the city and ocean below. Impressively scaled at over 8000 square feet, this home features 6 bedrooms and 6.5 baths, a huge motor courtyard with 4-car garage, soaring ceilings and a large sparkling pool with waterfall. Professionally landscaped gardens and rolling lawns complete this magnificent living experience.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This one is for all the late night television watching children out there. In case you did not know, Max Weinburg is that be-speckled man who beats the drums on the Conan O'Brien show. Personally, we find his ventriloquist doll grin a little puzzling and troublesome, but he's got seer-ee-us music industry pedigree having been the drummer for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band since 1974.
Your Mama does not watch Mister Conan's celebrity yak fest being that we prefer to spend our late nights watching reruns of that unseemly Will and Grace program and also the reruns of Tyra Bank's excellent show about skinny model bitches. You know the one. Don't lie. We know you do.
Back in December of '06 we posted about the very tall Mr. O'Brien and his recent purchase of a large, terraced apartment at The Majestic in New York City. Now children, we looked at this earlier post on O'Brien and realized it's rather shabby, but it'll just have to do 'cause Your Mama just does not have time to do it up proper right now. You can read that paltry post and see the floor plan here.
Back to the New Jersey based Max Weinburg and his house in Los Angeles. We're not sure why Maxie would need a house like this in Los Angeles, given his work and family are on the East Coast. To further confuse the matter, property records show this house was purchased only in early 2006 for an undisclosed price. Perhaps Maxie saw this as a good opportunity and like so many moneyed celebrity types, is flipping this property and cashing in on the scorching hot L.A. real estate market. Your Mama contacted the listing agent, a Mr. H. Blair Chang at Prudential CA John Aaroe, for clarification, but as of today he has decided to remain silent on the subject.
Technically this house is located in Brentwood. It has a Brentwood zip code (90049). But, it's so close to Bel Air that the folks up in these parts like to say it's Bel Air, even though it's really not. The dividing line is around Chalon Road, but those who own property between Chalon Road and the 405 feel their hearts, minds and pocketbooks are really more Bel Air than Brentwood.
Your Mama feels all mixed up about this house. One photo we groove to, the next we are concerned someone has made a terrible mistake. See children, we appreciate the long, low California modern design. And the walls of floor to ceiling glass and the huge sliders make Your Mama weak in the knees. We approve of the sometimes soaring cedar ceilings and we can live with some of the slate tiles on the floors. Some of it.
But upon closer examination, we are concerned the back of the house may have a slight air of Aspen, which is certainly not what we're looking to find up in Brentwood. Or Bel Air for that matter. We do think this issue can be fixed with a good architect and hope the next owner will choose to do so.
We would think in this price range, with a lot this size, and in this location, we would find a tennis court. But alas. However, the heated swimming pool is truly dee-vine. Your Mama could do without the kooky, contempo waterfall, but we delight in the angular and still simple shape of the pool. We particularly relish the snappy incorporation of the spa into the design. Your Mama can imagine many an afternoon sitting here, looking at the long and aspirational views in the quiet serenity of Brentwood. Or Bel Air.
The kitchen on the other hand needs some urgent attention. It's not without it's positive points. We do appreciate the size (large), and the amount of counter space (plenty), and it appears to have enough ovens to bake cupcakes for all of Brentwood.
But, as you might imagine, it's that light fixture that has Your Mama totally unnerved and reaching for our first gin and tonic of the day. No doubt when this house was built in the 1980s, this sort of lighted ceiling panel was all the rage in kitchen design. We suppose this light fixture might be okay if the kitchen doubled as a surgical suite. Lawhd children, there's enough wattage up in that ceiling the homeowner could have the plastic surgeon come to the house and do the cutting and pulling right up in this kitchen.
And do not get Your Mama started on that beige tile work or the $50 Home Depot sink.
As the children know, Your Mama does not like to go after listing agents. But we think if you're going to make the (somewhat dubious) choice to stage an empty property, then please stage the property properly. We find the few bits and pieces of furniture strewn about the house distracting and not complementing the overall aesthetic of the house.
The listing agents have provided a virtual tour, which can be found here as long as the property remains for sale. Please note Your Mama purposefully chose to not use photos of the bathrooms in our montage as they were just too upsetting to include.
Overall, Your Mama thinks this is a good house that could be a great house. It just needs about $700,000 in upgrades and renovations. But if you're spending upwards of $8,000,000 bucks for a house, what's another 5, 7, or 800,000?
Sources: Prudential California, Wikipedia